The Ball is Rolling...

[MyNameHere]

Thank you everyone for the thoughtful responses to my previous post. I have taken your advice to heart and have begun my adventure--posting my profile on freepersonals.ru  I am: http://freepersonals.ru/profile?id=400504;

I will use this thread to document my efforts as well as to capture any thoughtful insight the members here would like to offer.

My first thought is: My God these women are breathtaking! Honestly, I'd lowered my expectations to women whose height exceeded their width! It sounds so terrible but over the past 6 months of online dating here in Mich/Ohio,  my attitude has suffered tremendously.

This is an absolute eye-opener for me and frankly appears way too good 2b true. So, tell it to me like it is (or at least as you might see it in your lucid moments ;^) Are these women for real!?

Thanks again for the kind and encouraging words. This is a lot of fun already and has given me a little hope and a new perspective. Stay tuned...

Ron

[Aloe]

PICS! I don't see any

P.S. this line: "BTW: I also have a bullshit detector that is set to maximum sensitivity--do not try to scam me. It will not work." will land you in the trash can, so to speak, for most women. Who wants a paranoiac? Nobody. When you meet a woman in real life, do you also lead with "I also have a bullshit detector that is set to maximum sensitivity, so do not try to lie or cheat on me" ? How would you react if a woman said that to you on your first date?
Any woman or man can lie to you, but you do not approach them leading with that line, do you? So why do differently on a dating site, you just come off as a paranoiac and drop your chances below the plinth.

[Muzh]

If I've known you are a wolverine, I'd say tough luck. (This buckeye is just kidding)
 

This is an absolute eye-opener for me and frankly appears way too good 2b true. So, tell it to me like it is (or at least as you might see it in your lucid moments ;^) Are these women for real!?

Yep.
 
AND when you go there they will be even more stunning. No joke this time.
 
Agree with Aloe. Back to the drawing board and erase that. Instead, shower the ladies with flowery prose. Then sit and watch the contacts come in.

[Aloe]

I don't agree with flowery prose, well i am not sure what you meant by it, but it sounds bad to me Just be real, try to represent the real you, that's the way to go, imo

[ML]

Aloe and Muzh are correct.

You cannot go into any new relationship and display any problems from past relationships.

It is not the new woman's fault for any of your past problems with a woman or women.

You must have a very positive attitude with each new woman.

From my own side, I never bring past relationships and problems into a new relationship.

But, I know exactly where you are coming from because I see this attitude frequently with new women.

i.e.  They start out holding me responsible for all the problems they have had with men in the past.

I bring this to their attention and tell them it is not fair.
If they quickly drop this attitude we continue; if they can't move past problems with previous men ; then I end the relationship.

And, if I see this attitude in their profiles or in initial letters, they are dropped from futher considerations.

Give each new woman (man) a fair chance!!

[Aloe]

Nice pics If i were single, i'd write  Altho what a mess behind you in the second pic!
I'm thinking i had it right the first time around.. Older guys are probably much more relationship-mature and willing to sacrifice on average...

[tfcrew]

From my own side, I never bring past relationships and problems into a new relationship.

Two don't do's...
1] Kiss and tell
2] Throwing up the past

[Aloe]

I don't think he's "throwing up the past", i think he is trying to keep scammers away in the most inefficient manner ever. Cuz scammers do NOT read your profile, they have a thousand letters to send. So really, a phrase like that completely misses it's target, plus scares away the real women.

[GQBlues]

Get real fellas!
 
Considering one of the first few LIKELY questions this man is going to be asked, which will be (why are you searching for a GF/wife in Ukraine?), it's near to impossible not to blatter about the OP's experiences with women of his past, around him, etc...
 
Heck, more often than not, MEN readily spew that out how not one woman in a country of 150 million females is good enough (LOL) almost impulsively without even getting asked.
 
Matter of fact, it only took the OP one thread to do just that. Unassisted.
 
 
 

[Muzh]

Get real fellas!
 
Considering one of the first few LIKELY questions this man is going to be asked, which will be (why are you searching for a GF/wife in Ukraine?), it's near to impossible not to blatter about the OP's experiences with women of his past, around him, etc...
 

Well, without skipping a beat he should reply along the lines "Because the moment I saw your picture, I knew where I was going to find my mate."
 
This is what I mean by flowery prose, Aloe.

[Muzh]

Hey Ron, you look like a younger version of me. 
 
Same hair and goatee. Well, my goatee is gray. Actually, white. Which clashes with my brown mustache.

[wicheese]

I'll agree with those who do not like the part about "Bullshit detector...do not try to scam me".  First, if the lady only knows a little english she'll have not clue about what a "Bullshit detector" is as slang is something they do not always relate to.  Second, saying do not try to scam me sounds a little insecure. 
 
So rewrite that part as you can say the same thing without using slang or sounding afraid and it'll help your cause, plus it'll help you look really smart as you claim to be (BTW, intelligence is something you show a person through your communication and knowledge about other subjects.  Saying you're smart does not mean anything as I have not seen one man in these forums who has claimed to be dumb or ugly, but you can be certain more than a few are or maybe I'm just talking about myself  ).
 
 

[OmegaSupreme]

Nice profile, but I also have to agree with Aloe. I've been on freepersonals.ru for quite a while now, and have talked to many women from there. None of them like being suspiciously viewed as scammers, and in fact many might be offended by it. Definitely remove that line. Also, you may want to put up a few more pics of yourself, specifically ones that show you out and about.

As far as anything else to add, it wouldn't hurt to mention that you are serious in looking for a woman to meet. You'll probably notice as you browse around more that many women will put that in their profiles, and having it in yours will help show that you're not just a keyboard romeo.

[SANDRO43]

I'm not a FSUW, so feel free to disregard my comment on your profile photos : do you ever smile , or at least smirk ? You look rather scary IMHO .

[Rubicon]

definitely get rid of the BTW bit.  A very big turnoff to potential ladies.  negative and accusatory.  one of the photos looks like it is taken in a garage around a pile of crap.  not good.  put on a suit and tie, go to a professional photographer and take some photos where you are smiling are at least look pleasant.  like Sandro says you look scary.

[Rubicon]

Oh yes.  You may wish to try Ukrainedate.com  Our man Hammer has used it very successfully.  He is in Ukraine right now visiting a young lady who he met through UkraineDate  You should read his trip report.

[GQBlues]

....Just be real, try to represent the real you, that's the way to go, imo

Well, hhhmmm, if FSU-bound men did that their chances in the FSU will mirror their chances at home, LOL.
 
Most of the men do this at home, Aloe...it flat-out doesn't work. 

[The Natural]

Yes, you should drop the BS detector thing. That, along with the first photo where you look very serious, almost angry, might very well scare off potentially great ladies from contacting you in the first place. Good luck.

[Aloe]

Why is everyone hating on the photos? I liked them. They look like standard russian photos He doesn't look angry, just normal.. The only comment i have about the photos is the giant mess behind him in the second photo.
I say, if someone is going to adjust pics, then possibly remove the mess photo, and maybe add a smile photo, but definitely keep the first photo..

[The Natural]

Why is everyone hating on the photos? I liked them. They look like standard russian photos He doesn't look angry, just normal.. The only comment i have about the photos is the giant mess behind him in the second photo.
I say, if someone is going to adjust pics, then possibly remove the mess photo, and maybe add a smile photo, but definitely keep the first photo..

I didn't say I hated the photo. It's just the combo with the BS detection comment that might be taken wrongly.

[dbneeley]

MyNameHere:


For a self-proclaimed "smart guy" I believe the profile you posted is mostly a disaster. However, I presume you are educable and can do much better.


First, consider what a profile actually is. You are attempting to contact ladies whose second language may or may not be English--and even those with relatively decent command of hte language will often be confused by slang terms.


Second, attempting to scare off "scammers" in a profile is mostly useless, and can be counterproductive when it comes to some genuine ladies who do not respond well to this kind of aggressiveness. It would be far more effective, I believe, to say something like "I seek a lady who is as serious about finding her "other half" as I am about finding mine." It shouldn't be all that difficult to quickly sort through the ones who are not truly serous--including outright scammers and the "pro daters" you can run  into so often on many agency lists and introduction databases.


Others have commented on the photos. The main one, I think, can easily be reshot even if you wish to appear serious in the photo. You should easily be able to do so without appearing to scowl. The second one is largely useless. In both of them, your actual body conformation is largely invisible--the first, in fact, makes you appear somewhat fat. Personally, I'd want something without the black shirt making everything disappear, emphasizing the flesh around your neck. If you're carrying a few extra pounds, that is not necessarily a deal-breaker--but it's better, I think, to make the truth known in the photos you use.


The English should be largely in simple, declarative sentences that are easy to translate and difficult to misunderstand. They should also express your personality--emphasizing the strong points. Why claim a good sense of humor without some sort of example? Humor, properly applied, can be a quick way to make you stand out from all the other profiles a lady will be browsing.


And that's the point--you want your profile to be a "best foot forward" kind of thing that will intrigue the lady you seek sufficiently that she wants to know more.


You may not need a professional photographer at all--but if you cannot in some way produce better ones than you have posted, I would certainly consider it.


It would not hurt to state some of the qualities you seek in a lady, either. Then, imagine you are exactly the kind of lady you seek and think what she would be attracted to in a profile. Make a list of those things, and rewrite your profile to include points about you that address those interests.


Finally, put in a little about your goals, you rhopes, your dreams or ambitions. Obviously, you cannot put everything in a profile--but you want sufficient info to make your heart a bit more clear to the lady.


Think of it as fishing--you have little chance with a bare hook, but your chances increase as the enticing nature of the bait increases.


Finally, a true scammer may or may not respond as you wished with the "do not scam me" business. Some may simply regard that as a challenge--I have seen that before.


Good luck.


David