If you were me....

[MyNameHere]

Hi Guys, 
Thanks for the great advice here, I just discovered your forum and will continue to glean what information I can.

I am 43 years old, healthy, smart, attractive, and in good shape--divorced 2 years after a 20 year relationship/marriage. I've been online dating for some time and have been reasonably successful meeting women. I'm sure I don't need to go into too much detail explaining why I am here. I'll just say that I think that the women I am meeting do not have realistic expectations. In fact, I believe there is a general sense of entitlement--the basis of which is not clear to me. In any case, I'm finding that I am not perfect enough for the large majority of women I meet. That's okay, though. I'm secure with myself and know I have a lot to offer. I guess I am seeking a partner with a different attitude--not so consumed with the American ideal of a successful woman (I will resist the temptation to digress into raging rant here) 

From what I've been reading, perhaps I should look to the FSU. I imagine most here would agree.  I am posing a couple questions below; please, I am not looking to be set on fire here, so if I've mis-posted or appear to be holding my mouth incorrectly, forgive me.

Question:  Can anyone recommend any russian dating services known to be legitimate/successful? Likewise, who should be avoided?

Question: Do any of the US based sites, ie Match, eHarmony, etc have an established presence in FSU?

Question: Does anyone know of some good alternative methods of making contact with Russians? Not necessarily primarily dating or matchmaking tools, but a way to make some friendly contacts (unspoken: Right, to gain access and leverage into something else. Keeping it real.)

Thanks in advance for not posting unhelpful or insulting comments!

MyNameHere

[OlgaH]

  I guess I am seeking a partner with a different attitude--not so consumed with the American ideal of a successful woman (I will resist the temptation to digress into raging rant here) 

Welcome to the forum, MyNameHer.

You of course can give a try, and while you have the chances to find in the FSU what you are looking for, but I can tell that women in Russia are not less materialistic and career oriented than women in the US. It also should not surprise you if a woman will  drastically change her life priorities when you bring her to the US. A temptation to be a successful professional woman can be much stronger if she is smart, persistent and ready to invest her mind and time. I personally know a woman in our county, who made her career as a masseur. Bought a house and divorced her American husband who works as a teacher. BTW she has her own two children teens.

[wicheese]

What sites work often depend on the person and where they found someone special.  I had a lot of luck with Elenas Models when I started, then I took a look at singles.ru and found the lady who will be arrving here on a K-1 visa later this summer.  Related to American dating sites, eHarmony has a presence in the FSU (mostly with women who have been to America and heard of it here) as I was on that site before meeting my significant other and was matched with a number of interesting ladies from the FSU, plus a number more RW who lived in Europe (just set your search radius to the entire world and you might be surprised at what you find).
 
I'll close with saying, it's a big effort to find someone overseas and a whole new set of issues can be encountered, so despite finding someone special I still tell people it's a lot easier finding someone in your own country as there are a lot of nice women still available, even at your age which is pretty close to mine.  No matter what good luck!

[Muzh]

Man with no name.
 
IMHO, agencies are loaded with the same women. You can find one woman in 4, 5 or 6 different agencies, sometimes with different names. Of course there is a logical explanation for that. I'll let agency owners explain.
 
Then there are free personals. These are harder to sift through but, again IMHO, more real. Start looking and ask questions. We'll try to help you out.
 
Before I post this one more thing. Any woman that you just met, it doesn't matter if she was previously a nun, asks you for money is a scammer. PERIOD. Here in the US or there in the former Soyuz.
 

[BC]

Question: Does anyone know of some good alternative methods of making contact with Russians? Not necessarily primarily dating or matchmaking tools, but a way to make some friendly contacts (unspoken: Right, to gain access and leverage into something else. Keeping it real.)

MNH,

First, welcome!
Second, the quoted part of your post is in my opinion the only method you will need.

Have a hobby, interest, business, liking, whatever.....  google for groups or individuals with similar interests - no matter the gender or age.  Start networking and before long you may find yourself in some FSU environment having a good time and meeting interesting people.  Let life lead you from there.

Good luck!

[Faux Pas]

MyName


Welcome to RWD! Don't fret too much over comments you don't like or disagree with. This entire endeavor requires a large degree of thick skin at just about every turn. Glean what you will from it and leave the rest. At the end of the day it is just words on a screen. Hopefully, you will have benefitted from your time reading it.


All methods of actually meeting FSUW are polluted and tainted to some degree. Some more than others. But then so is the local online dating you've already tried. There are probably many more pitfalls in this particular aspect but nothing a man with a good head on his shoulders, a healthy degree of optimism and equal caution can not figure out.


What method or website/agency you choose should be reliant on what you are comfortable with. I.E. hand holding as opposed to DIY. I echo wicheese, Elena's Models is a good place to start if you are a more DIY type guy. The women are there and have already given long consideration for the most part of seeking a foreign man. The Russian dating sites that equate to a Match.com and there are several, that may not be the case. I would suggest EM's and perhaps later with a little more experience you might venture into those areas if you are so inclined.

[GoodOlBoy]

   to RWD MNH.
Be sure to check out the RWD 10 Commandments:
 
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?action=ezportal;sa=page;p=34
 
Trust me, they are not just blah, blah.
Make sure to ask a lot of questions.
Good luck!
 
GOB

[SANDRO43]

I personally know a woman in our county, who made her career as a masseur.

A transvestite ? Olga, in the feminine it's masseuse .

[OlgaH]

Thank you, Sandro 

We very often use the word массажист (massazhist)  to women instead of массажистка (massazhistka) in this Profession in Russia.

[Gator]

Question: Do any of the US based sites, ie Match, eHarmony, etc have an established presence in FSU?

No, and in fact Match.com is leery of RW because of scams.

 
Question: Does anyone know of some good alternative methods of making contact with Russians? Not necessarily primarily dating or matchmaking tools, but a way to make some friendly contacts (unspoken: Right, to gain access and leverage into something else. Keeping it real.)

Go to Odessa, Yalta and Sochi (and Antalya, Turkey) in the summer.  The hotels are filled with RW on holiday.   You will need to know some Russian language. 

[Turboguy]

If you meet a RW on match.com it will most likely be a scammer.  I found my wife on Elena's which has already been suggested a few times.  I was very happy with them.  There are other good sites.  Guys have met their wives about every way imaginable.  You can find a list of good sites and bad sites with a quick search.  Stay totally away from the bad ones.  A few have met their wives that way but why do things the hard way when there is an easier one.
 
Your other options would be a service such as Eduard offers where he does a lot of the intial screening for you and will even go with you on a trip.  Most tours are something to stay away from but there is one that is very good and that is Jack Bragg's FirstDream.  I was on it and most guys who went thought it was a great way to meet a lot of women in a short time and the women are high quality.  Other than Jack's don't do a tour.
 
There are some free sites and it is a good starting point to put your feet in the water.  FreePersonals.ru is one I used.  Being free it does take a little more time and effort but the price is right.  Another popular free site is Mamba but it is women looking for their partner not necessarily a foreign husband.
 
Do read all you can on the forum.  Why learn by making expensive mistakes if you can learn from the mistakes of others.
 
Good Luck.  It is worth it.

[Vincenzo]

Question: Do any of the US based sites, ie Match, eHarmony, etc have an established presence in FSU?

I heard that match.com, etc block Russian IP addresses; so, Russian women can't register.
It started after the law banning American men from contacting foreign brides had passed.
 

[Aloe]

Why are you not perfect enough for local women? Do you have a job? You seem to look nice, so all you need is a job Well, and a short list of other 23 items, but it's not that hard to fulfill It is really basic things, like.. takes a shower, has some manners, has an opinion, stuff like that..

And what is the american ideal of a successful woman?

[Muzh]

Why are you not perfect enough for local women? Do you have a job? You seem to look nice, so all you need is a job Well, and a short list of other 23 items, but it's not that hard to fulfill It is really basic things, like.. takes a shower, has some manners, has an opinion, stuff like that..

And what is the american ideal of a successful woman?

Aloe, in his defense I should say there exists a state of confusion among American women that are in his age range. Not that they are ugly nor fat nor they are feminazis nor all that BS you read here. (Those who find the fat ones are looking in the wrong places but that is a different story) This is a serious issue which recently is surfucing among the media. IMHO, many of these ladies have no idea what they want. They have the "child-in-the-candystore" syndrome. Too many choices but too little time.

[Faux Pas]

And what is the american ideal of a successful woman?

Big tits. Owning a golf course, a bank and a liquor store also helps [size=0px] [/size]

[Rubicon]

Big tits. Owning a golf course, a bank and a liquor store also helps [size=0px] [/size]

 

[Rubicon]

I recommend UkraineDate.com  Hammer told me about it.  I have a profile there now and I am getting a very good response.  Hammer has been to Ukraine twice and met two very nice women each time (he is there now).  UkraineDate is a division of Cupid Media.  It is very inexpensive to join and the women can give you direct contact information right away. 

[OlgaH]

And what is the american ideal of a successful woman?

Are you asking about a successful professional woman? 
If so, due to our job I meet different kind of people of different professions. But very often I meet lawyers and doctors, and of course women among them. I would rather avoid the word ideal, as everyone has its own idea of ideal and as Salvador Dali said: Don't be afraid of perfection: you'll never attain it! 

About some women I have met and some of them are our friends I can tell they are successful professional women. Some of them married with children and some not.  They always look very nice, I noticed they don't exclude high heels, make up and gyms. They are confident. You can feel it in their voice, look and manners. They don't give a "sht" who and what thinks about them outside their family and close circle of their friends. And they don't have time to think about such trifles of life. They are hardworkers, often you notice the tiredness in their eyes and dark circles around. But they do know how to have a good time! Their husbands and boyfriends are usually their equal. That is just my own observation.

If to talk in general about a successful woman I think any woman can say she is successful if she is happy with her life  no matter what  her success is: her family, her career or both.

[Aloe]

That IS the question.. is their ideal of success exhaustion with dark circles round the eyes or a happy family?

[OlgaH]

That IS the question.. is their ideal of success exhaustion with dark circles round the eyes or a happy family?

Aloe, I dropped the word ideal and I explained why 

Unfortunately a success in professional sphere not always without dark circles around eyes .  It begins from studying in college and at the same time  working part time as a salegirl  for example plus volunteering.  I asked one woman how she could manage to build her career and have such a wonderful family and children. Her answer was because of her understanding and outstanding husband, they are together more than 20 years.