Marriage by agency?

[Maxnin]

Hello married guys,

Do you feel comfortable telling your friends and family that you and your spouse met and got married by an agency?
If no, what kind of excuse do you give when they ask you about how you met? How do you avoid answering them?

Just wondering since I'm not sure if I'll be comfortable telling anyone about it, if I ever met my significant other by an agency.

Thanks

[Vaughn]

I just tell 'em, "I accidentally clicked on
 
 
and now look what's happened..."   
 
Seriously, for us there seemed to be a bit of stigma, which quickly disappeared. We began by telling others we met in Moscow (which is where we first met face to face). Over the years we've amassed many friends who met on the Internet - although not necessarily through an agency.
 
BTW, we know of nobody who was married by an agency. I guess it's possible, but never heard of that.
 
We stopped seeking others' approval long ago. None of that contributes to what's important to us. If you ever take the plunge, you'll find you both will have some serious adjustments to make. For us, appearances don't make that list.
 
 

[Gator]

Maxnin,
 
I always said, "We met on the Internet."
 
A marriage agency is a misnomer.  Most marriage agencies are not really interested in trying to facilitate marriage.  Their business model focuses first on letter writing, then gifts and 3-way phone calls, and finally meetings.

[Maxnin]

I just tell 'em, "I accidentally clicked on
 
 
and now look what's happened..."   
 
Seriously, for us there seemed to be a bit of stigma, which quickly disappeared. We began by telling others we met in Moscow (which is where we first met face to face). Over the years we've amassed many friends who met on the Internet - although not necessarily through an agency.
 
BTW, we know of nobody who was married by an agency. I guess it's possible, but never heard of that.
 
We stopped seeking others' approval long ago. None of that contributes to what's important to us. If you ever take the plunge, you'll find you both will have some serious adjustments to make. For us, appearances don't make that list.
 
 

I totally respect that. But that's a funny beginning. You remind me when Dr. Phil said that those agencies are meat market hehehe!

Maxnin,
 
I always said, "We met on the Internet."
 
A marriage agency is a misnomer.  Most marriage agencies are not really interested in trying to facilitate marriage.  Their business model focuses first on letter writing, then gifts and 3-way phone calls, and finally meetings.

Let me rephrase it:
What do you you tell others about your first meeting and how did you found out about each other?


Do you tell them that you got connected by an agency maybe or some dating website? Sometimes people want to find details. I don't want to lie to them, but I want to phrase it correctly to them so they do not get any bad idea.

 Thanks.

[GQBlues]

I simply tell folks we met at a site called Elena's Models, which is a correspondence site geared towards international marriage.
 
What's the big deal? If you're embarassed to admit that, or projecting you will be, then don't. My wife's a wonderful woman from Russia, and if there's one reason I am very thankful for EM's existence then that's undoubtedly is my wife.
 
The stigma that seem to pervade into people and/or men's mind about this have nothing whatsoever to do than with their own insecurities.
 
What are you afraid of?

[Gator]

What do you you tell others about your first meeting and how did you found out about each other?

My ex-wife and I found each other on the Internet.  We used the agency (EM) to publish our profiles, and

Do you tell them that you got connected by an agency maybe or some dating website?  Sometimes people want to find details. I don't want to lie to them, but I want to phrase it correctly to them so they do not get any bad idea.

Bad idea?  If you are ashamed of something, then maybe you should not consider RW.  RW are not ashamed. 
 
 
Not one ever wanted my details except for a couple of single men who saw my ex-wife and became interested about giving it a try.
 
If someone wants the details, then tell them to sit down while you explain everything.  The basic process really does not differ from eharmony or match.com.  Is eharmony a bad idea?

[Chicagoguy]

It seems people only ask me when they learn she is from Russia. It is a natural question and a normal curiosity. No one has ever asked me more than this. Never noticed any judgements.

[Faux Pas]

It seems people only ask me when they learn she is from Russia. It is a natural question and a normal curiosity. No one has ever asked me more than this. Never noticed any judgements.

It is a natural question and normal curiosity. My wife seems to have had a complex in the beginning to answering but, like Gator I just chime in "we met on the internet". That usually satisfies the question unless they have a deeper interest where I usually turn into the inquisitor as to why? I find neither no shame or pride in the way we met. It is what it is and I'm not going to lie or stretch the truth over it.


We met through EMs and I don't personally consider that an agency but, if it were I would probably say the same thing. Not so long ago one would have been considered inferior for meeting on the internet. The stigma has waned in recent years. It seems it is turning into the way most people are meeting these days. If not through the internet, certainly aided in some fashion by the internet.

[Dave13]

Anna and I met through Lifetime Partners, but with a different twist, she worked for the agency. I have no problems with how we met and telling the very interesting tale, if people have problems and voice any negative points, lets just say, I let them know were a very high cliff  they can jump off!

[Misha]

RW are not ashamed. 

Yes and no. In the first few years, my wife would tell her friends in Russia that we simply met at a cafe (which was true). Now she tells them that we met online. After five years, she does not worry what her friends will think.


Likewise in Canada. The story at start was that we simply met as I was passing through my wife's city. Now, few friends or relatives ask.