Wow... Meat Market Socials?

[Vaughn]

Also something I noticed is they get irritated when you try and speak their language.

I found the opposite to be true. Then again, I was dating and socializing in a fairly complete no-English environment.

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[magnetic_fields]

Sometimes a little bit of language fluency goes A LONG WAY.  I work with a lot of Indian doctors who are in their 50s-60s who were born, raised, and educated in India but moved to the US to start their careers. My business partner had a similar background as them and came to america in his early 30s.  Recently I did a sales presentation for one of these Indian doctors and he was reluctant to agree to my offer. I answered all his questions and gave him plenty of time to think about it.

A week later my partner (the one who grew up in India) went and spoke with this prospective client. the doctor signed after just one meeting with my partner. the reason? The doctor felt more comfortable in talking with my partner in his native language of "hindi" rather than english (my native language).  He felt I was "too american". Can you believe it? An Indian guy born in America is held back because he cannot speak hindi as good as his clients IN AMERICA?!

Once again this is just a small incident and we sell to all sorts of doctors. But it definitely taught me a big lesson about marketing and sales which to me is very similar to dating. You go through dozens of profiles and try contacting them. If the initial impression is strong it creates further interest. I think Ed's point is that speaking in Russian from the get go creates a very positive first impression. It's not for everybody and yes there other alternate ways to get a girl's attention but in this "dating game" why not use all the advantages you can get?

Just my observation...

[Maxx2]

I found the opposite to be true. Then again, I was dating and socializing in a fairly complete no-English environment.

I suspected my observation may have been inaccurate. I have tried Russian only on RW who are jaded of this whole endeavor and of the AM who are in it.

[Vaughn]

It's not for everybody and yes there other alternate ways to get a girl's attention but in this "dating game" why not use all the advantages you can get?

In my own case, it was a practical necessity - although we could have hired a bilingual third wheel. One other advantage: knowing a fair amount of local language opens up the dating pool to include most every available and interested lady (though some will counter that a non-English speaking FSU lady, well - how intelligent could she be?)
 
Maxx, your point about the jaded ones is spot on - and I can understand the resentment that ensued. I don't agree with the reasoning, but I understand their predictable reaction to your efforts.

[Maxx2]

Maxx, your point about the jaded ones is spot on - and I can understand the resentment that ensued. I don't agree with the reasoning, but I understand their predictable reaction to your efforts.

All of the RW I had been in contact with except for one are living in the US. Most of these are run off wives or fiancees, a few illegals and about half of them from abusive relationships. None of them have I considered as a possible wife.

[Doll]

All of the RW I had been in contact with except for one are living in the US. Most of these are run off wives or fiancees, a few illegals and about half of them from abusive relationships. None of them have I considered as a possible wife.

Why?

[Misha]

[size=78%]Also something I noticed is they get irritated when you try and speak their language.[/size]

Not my experience. I have yet to meet a Russian woman irritated because I spoke to her in Russian.

[Gator]

My guidelines:

1.   If a RW is into you, she will try to talk with you. 

2.  If she is sincere about moving from the FSU, she will be committed to learning another language.  You must temper this by the fact that FSUW know few men will come to the FSU to meet her, and the odds of marrying a foreigner is probably less than 1% (unless she is remarkably beautiful or something).  Thus, she may know little of your language when she first meets you.  If you become exclusive she should be enthusiastic about language courses and show much progress.

[Doll]

Not my experience. I have yet to meet a Russian woman irritated because I spoke to her in Russian.

I am with you, I don't know any who got irritated by this.

[ML]

I think someone was confusing the Russians with the French re irritation at trying to speak their language.

[ghost of moon goddess]

My guidelines:

1.   If a RW is into you, she will try to talk with you. 

2.  If she is sincere about moving from the FSU, she will be committed to learning another language.  You must temper this by the fact that FSUW know few men will come to the FSU to meet her, and the odds of marrying a foreigner is probably less than 1% (unless she is remarkably beautiful or something).  Thus, she may know little of your language when she first meets you.  If you become exclusive she should be enthusiastic about language courses and show much progress.

My guidelines:

1. If a RW is into you, she will break a pattern of passivity;

2. If she is sincere about moving from the FSU, she will make a bee-line for her dreamboat to close him on the spot.

 

[Maxx2]

I've had this problem. I thought it more of RW superiority complex showing. It has occurred to me I have been with only damaged RW who view things darkly and I was one of the things. I am planning on going back after 10 years of my last being there. I have been learning Russian which is actually quite fun.

[Maxx2]

My guidelines:

1. If a RW is into you, she will break a pattern of passivity;

2. If she is sincere about moving from the FSU, she will make a bee-line for her "dreamboat" to close you on the spot.

 

My test would be she would help me learn Russian. No insincere RW would waste her time trying to build me up or any man she does not plan on staying with.

[Maxx2]

My guidelines:

1.   If a RW is into you, she will try to talk with you. 

2.  If she is sincere about moving from the FSU, she will be committed to learning another language. 

1) Not necessarily so. She might have other motives.


2) Sometimes it's what Donna Pedro said circa 2004; "Preparing a landing field"

[ghost of moon goddess]

My test would be she would help me learn Russian. No insincere RW would waste her time trying to build me up or any man she does not plan on staying with.

Considering that the Russian language is believed to be one of the most difficult languages to learn, verifying her sincerity by your test you will measure the level of her patience. Hey, how far-sighted your cunning is!

[Maxx2]

Considering that the Russian language is believed to be one of the most difficult languages to learn, verifying her sincerity by your test you will measure the level of her patience. Hey, how far-sighted your cunning is!

You are truly one of the wise ones of this board. 

[Gator]

My guidelines:

1. If a RW is into you, she will break a pattern of passivity;

2. If she is sincere about moving from the FSU, she will make a bee-line for her dreamboat to close him on the spot.

 

Thanks Moon Goddess. 

You speak the truth.  Sounds as if you are in the Been There, Done That club.   

Exeperienced men years ago always advised newbies that if a RW likes you, you will know it.      Your phrase "breaking from a pattern of passivity" states this behavior more scientifically, as if you were a BBC narrator.

How about the situation in which a RW, with fair-good English skills, stops chatting with a man via Skype.  She is into the man?   She is not into the man?  Unsure, because there are valid reasons not related to the man that explain why a RW would refuse further chatting (cultural conflicts,  requires too much energy, translation necessary for some words, etc.)

[Faux Pas]

I've had this problem. I thought it more of RW superiority complex showing. It has occurred to me I have been with only damaged RW who view things darkly and I was one of the things. I am planning on going back after 10 years of my last being there. I have been learning Russian which is actually quite fun.

Good move Maxx, really. Some have a knack for attracting the "darkside", Might be something your doing (or not) but in any event, good luck!

[Doll]

Maxx. why Russia again? Didn't you have enough?

[chivo]

Maxx. why Russia again? Didn't you have enough?

Sometimes we learn from our mistakes.
 
I also think Maxx isn't the same guy he was 10 years ago, obviously. My concern would be him being a little paranoid of things because of his first go around.

[Maxx2]

Maxx. why Russia again? Didn't you have enough?

I have been an observer for the past 9 years. I even did a stint for several years as a "documentary filmmaker" of the dark side of the subject (One of my films was shown at a conference at the Heritage Foundation, Washington DC). This is the reason why most of my contact has been with damaged RW.


Of course not every RW I came in contact was out of a extremely failed marriage. I just didn't try any of my very limited Russian on the happily married ones.


OK Doll, getting back to your question. I like Russian women, their language, customs and strong sense of family. Although my marriage was just a faux version of a real one I did get to experience what some of the happily married ones here experience. Frankly being married to a RW is a lot of fun.


My goal is to go to Ukraine (easier visa rules) next year and establish a residency there. Probably with the help of some people here and others I know. Travel back and forth three four times a year for my business. Not be in a rush to meet a woman. Just do things naturally and with no intent of importing an Ukrainian wife. Frankly I wouldn't want a woman who is interested in emigrating. Not so much as avoiding the possible fraud factor but because I want to permanently live outside of the US. So I am thinking of a UW in her mid to upper forties-early fifties with grown kids, a good education, a paid for apartment  , her own car and a family dacha. I'll bring some goodies to the deal like lots of foreign travel and my wonderful self. 

[ML]

 Not so much as avoiding the possible fraud factor but because I want to permanently live outside of the US. So I am thinking of a UW in her mid to upper forties-early fifties with grown kids, a good education, a paid for apartment  , her own car and a family dacha. I'll bring some goodies to the deal like lots of foreign travel and my wonderful self. 

I think most of these gals are looking to trade up in terms of material things.

Not sure how receptive they are to situation wherein she would be sharing her apartment, car, dacha, etc., with with an otherwise homeless man!!   

I know one UW who ended up  with 3 apartments, one of which is very large and in good location.  She has had several marriage proposals from UM in the past few  years but wonders if they want her or a nice place to live.

My current Gal (who has a lot of cash money and a paid for apartment) feels very comfortable with me because she knows I have much more money than she does.  But she was very leery of involvement with UM, most of whom had much less material assets than she did.

[Chicagoguy]

I do know one man from U.S. who had lost it all and married and moved in with a woman in my wife's hometown. She is retired M.D. and they seem very happy.

[Maxx2]

I think most of these gals are looking to trade up in terms of material things.

Not sure how receptive they are to situation wherein she would be sharing her apartment, car, dacha, etc., with with an otherwise homeless man!!   

That would be quite a test wouldn't? LOL. I have no intention of living off a woman. I am a gold refiner and have small refining business of 22 years. It doesn't require much of my time to run and provides me a decent living. Frankly all I need to work it is stretches of 2 weeks of work about 4 times a year. I am in a different position than most people here. I guess you call it semi-retired.

[Doll]

Frankly being married to a RW is a lot of fun.

Aha, my hubby thinks same