Starting Out__ Helping my Father

[milesaweek]

Ladies and Gents,

This is a bit different, but maybe some help can come.

My father, he 60, me 35,  has an interest in a RW.

I have been coming to the site from time to time..he does not come here. I have posted here before for some travel advice, since my father in interest in Russian role in WWII, specifically the Siege of Leningrad.

My mother, his spouse, deceased from dementia (Alzheimers) and over the past 18 months he has developed a writing relationship with a RW.

Basic background- She is 50, divorced, two children both adults 25-28 and resideing on theirown.She lives near, but not in, St. Petersburg. I gather in small town with 25 miles of SPB. She repressents that she lives alone.

She writes English well.... no knowledge of her level of speaking English. My father shares some, but not all, that she writes.I have some level of confidence in her ( my father doesn't ask my advice)- she is polite. appears to be well meaning in her written word, andthey get along.

The writings are good from both and show my father recovering from the grief and sadness of his wifes death and the RW being sympathetic and also wanting companionship, but seems to have  wounds from the divorce.

From my reading on this site, there is no evidence of scamming--no money requested/sent, unreasonable terms of relationship, etc. ( Frankly, this age is not much discussed) Appears to be two people seeking companionship, but both treading in water that is unfamiliar, with concerns about values, culture, their respective ages and the variables that come in these cross-global realationships, so clearly vetted on this site.

He expresses interest in going to SPB--maybe for 3 weeks- in late summer....

Any thoughts?  More to tell and more information to give, but wanted to start the discussion.

[ECOCKS]

If you have looked over the Ten Commandments, simply apply them to the situation and you have 70-80% of the answer.

Without specifics it is difficult ofr us to provide you much meaningful information or advice.

If he has his health, let him enjoy his StP vacation going to visit her. Money is the biggest concern and you say there has been no indication of that being an issue.

[Faux Pas]

Perhaps a next step to be made and one you could encourage is for them to Skype. A few Skype sessions could shift things into overdrive for them both, or not. You seem to want to encourage your father to go to the next level with this lady, correct? Kudos to you for thinking of your father's happiness. From your brief description it doesn't appear on it's face that this lady is anything but legit. Very likely just two people that have no idea how to get things progressed. You can help but, I would caution to not get too pushy. Good Luck!

[milesaweek]

1.Got religion- 10 commandments part of his charachter.

2. Skype-they are on. I think they have exhibited and exchanged their credentials.

3. Know better than to get to nosey...maybe  in over my head now

Peace

[Eduard]

Hard to say anything since the info provided is very general. Her age makes the whole thing sound much more legit than if she was in her 20s or early 30s. He should go visit SPB, it's a beautiful city unlike anything he had seen here in the US and if he finds a nice companion in her while he is there - great! Who knows, this might develop into something more...

[milesaweek]

I agree that on Mr. Eduardo view that is legit...father is generally skeptical and thorough...has anyone run into this general scenario ( I know I may be beyond the general demographic of the site for matches);

Does Eduardo or Jack seen this type of pairing at this age? or do the inquiries go to the younger?

[Faux Pas]

I agree that on Mr. Eduardo view that is legit...father is generally skeptical and thorough...has anyone run into this general scenario ( I know I may be beyond the general demographic of the site for matches);

Does Eduardo or Jack seen this type of pairing at this age? or do the inquiries go to the younger?

No, the men are much older and the women much younger 

Just kidding. Listen, he's 60, she 50 they have nothing to explain or excuse. How does he act about her? Is he generally interested in the Russian aspect of WWII or is he actually smitten and giggling like a schoolboy about this woman?

[milesaweek]

Methinks  a mutual interest, coincident with his interest in this part of Russia.
That stage of analysis has passed.


From what I understand from the Russian modern history, her childhood and early marriage would be  pre 1990's..what are the  values and attitudes of this generation---generally?

Thanks for thinking outside the box!!

[ECOCKS]

1.Got religion- 10 commandments part of his charachter.

2. Skype-they are on. I think they have exhibited and exchanged their credentials.

3. Know better than to get to nosey...maybe  in over my head now

Peace

No, no, among us the "Ten Commandments" are a list of things to guide you in not falling prey to scammers or mistakes along the path to developing a relationship.

You can read them at this link which is also available at the bottom of the Home Page just to the right of the center:

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?action=ezportal;sa=page;p=34

Read them over and think whether any of them cause you concern.

[Spoon]

A little unrelated to the topic, but if your Father makes the trip, then may I suggest a side visit to Victory Square in Moscow, at Poklonnaya Gora. Here he will find the Museum of The Great Patriotic War, a fascinating, and at times, moving place.

[Gator]

milesaweek,

Please do everything to encourage your father to take the trip. 

Exactly ten years ago this summer I was in my late 50s  and I made a 30-day trip to Russia and Ukraine.  The trip was a combination sightseeing tour and an opportunity to meet some lovely women in different cities.   I went on my own and made all of my arrangements.  I had zero problems and enjoyed every moment.
 
The women I met were delightful.  Each was proud to show me their city.  You Dad's Russian friend should by now have expressed strong interest in showing him St. Petersburg.   

I too am a history buff and know of a fascinating little museum about the Siege of Leningrad.  Here are two links in case he has not found them:

 http://users.stlcc.edu/mfuller/siege.html

http://www.saint-petersburg.com/museums/museum-defense-siege-leningrad.asp

The tour of the museum is in Russian and 90% of the information signs are also in Russian.  Your Dad needs a Russian woman friend to guide him.   
 
If St. Petersburg goes well, they can take the overnight train to Moscow.  Some excellent military museums there as listed by Spoon above,  displaying the weaponry used in the Great Patriotic War aka WWII.   Not just tanks but rail mounted artillery.  Also in Moscow is the KGB museum, but that takes some prior planning as visits are limited.  Great stuff for people who recall the Cold War.

I was just in St. Petersburg and can recommend a good apartment in a convenient location plus restaurants.  Also, my ladyfriend has a  50-yo woman friend who is single.  She lives near St. Piter and speaks English.  She is a good woman and could be an alternative if your Dad has questions.   Your Dad could become a "rock star" among the 50-yo women as they don't receive much attention from gentlemen.       
 
In other words, don't worry about a thing other than your Dad may become a Russian junkie.   Why don't you suggest that your Dad join our forum.  That way, son, you can get out of the loop.   
 
 
 

[Gator]

 

   1.Got religion- 10 commandments part of his charachter.
 

No, no, among us the "Ten Commandments" are a list of things to guide you in not falling prey to scammers or mistakes along the path to developing a relationship.

You can read them at this link which is also available at the bottom of the Home Page just to the right of the center:

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?action=ezportal;sa=page;p=34

Read them over and think whether any of them cause you concern.

Both versions of Ten Commandments are good because many Russian women in their 50s are religious and will appreciate such values in a man 

As mentioned earlier, better have your Dad join us.   I do appreciate the attentiveness that you are giving.  My two sons are a few years younger than you and they too surprise me at times with some thoughtful gestures. 

[milesaweek]

Gator...is ready to throw me under the bus!

Thanks for advice..still seeking more.

I think/suspect my father is on many websites..is internet proficient..I am am sure he will find this in time ( you know something about recommending?, make relatives not interested)

who knows?..I am still single..may join myself..good spirit here

[Gator]

Gator...is ready to throw me under the bus!

Thanks for advice..still seeking more.

I think/suspect my father is on many websites..is internet proficient..I am am sure he will find this in time ( you know something about recommending?, make relatives not interested)

who knows?..I am still single..may join myself..good spirit here

Please forgive me if you think I am throwing you under the bus.   I am here to help.  I am easily amused and your 10 Commandments did it.
Two father-son members of RWD went on a tour.  Turboguy (about my age) and his son Little Sprinkler.   (no that is not his name and I ma not sure the son ever made a post).   

[milesaweek]

I tease..thank you for your thoughts and consideration of my father. It will serve all well and advance the interests of love in the world! This we are grateful for!!!

Peace

[Eduard]

Methinks  a mutual interest, coincident with his interest in this part of Russia.
That stage of analysis has passed.


From what I understand from the Russian modern history, her childhood and early marriage would be  pre 1990's..what are the  values and attitudes of this generation---generally?

Thanks for thinking outside the box!!

if she is 50 she is the same generation as I. We grew up at a pretty good time, not too repressive, did lots of reading as children and young adults, had some Western influence, i.e. music, some movies and a couple of old American TV shows, "Doctari" or something like that ( there was a Collie named Lessie and a Chimp named Judy in there )). Lots of people of my generation had a sence of honor, keeping your word, treating people with respect.

[mendeleyev]

If your father is a history buff he might enjoy an article I wrote some years ago on the battle for Stalingrad (modern day Volgograd): http://russianreport.wordpress.com/russias-great-patriotic-war-wwii/the-battle-for-stalingrad-of-mistakes-and-blunders/


Regarding the Great Patriotic War: http://russianreport.wordpress.com/russias-great-patriotic-war-wwii/


There is a great movie "Attack on Leningrad" regarding the siege of Leningrad. It is in Russian but available with English subtitles. It was previously a free download from YouTube but no longer there. I'd recommend getting a copy for your Dad.

[Spoon]

if she is 50 she is the same generation as I. We grew up at a pretty good time, not too repressive, did lots of reading as children and young adults, had some Western influence, i.e. music, some movies and a couple of old American TV shows, "Doctari" or something like that ( there was a Collie named Lessie and a Chimp named Judy in there )). Lots of people of my generation had a sence of honor, keeping your word, treating people with respect.

LOL Eduard, talk about memories.....'Daktari' (Swahili for 'doctor') was the TV show....yes a chimp named Judy and a cross eyed lion called Clarence!!! (Lassie was the Collie, but another show)

It's funny but both my RW and myself remember the same tv shows, music etc....just one benefit of a closer age gap

[Eduard]

LOL Eduard, talk about memories.....'Daktari' (Swahili for 'doctor') was the TV show....yes a chimp named Judy and a cross eyed lion called Clarence!!! (Lassie was the Collie, but another show)

It's funny but both my RW and myself remember the same tv shows, music etc....just one benefit of a closer age gap

yeah, those were the good old days!

[Turboguy]

Two father-son members of RWD went on a tour.  Turboguy (about my age) and his son Little Sprinkler.   (no that is not his name and I ma not sure the son ever made a post).

As Gator mentioned my son and I did a father/son trip to Ukraine and we had a blast.  I hope you both have a chance to go.  In my case it was my son's first trip there but I had been there a bunch of times.  I do hope you both go and I think you will have the adventure of a lifetime and maybe both meet someone who can change your life.