Hello!

[rs1987]

Hello all,

My name is Rob and I am happy to have found this site. About me: I am a young American man (the ripe age of 25), who has just gotten out of a relationship with a lovely Ukrainian woman (not my choice, obviously ). Boy, do I feel like my eyes have been opened! I cannot imagine ever dating a non-FSUW again. This is problematic, obviously, as not only do I live in America, it also seems like a trip to Russia or Ukraine is not in the cards for the forseeable future. Local options only for now, I'm afraid!

Anyhow, it's good to be here and it's nice to know I am not alone in admiring such women. My ex-gf, Natalia, was truly superlative among any woman I have ever been involved with! Not that any person can be replaced, but I find myself totally drawn to FSUW now.

Thanks for having me and nice to meet you all!

Rob

[Muzh]

Rob, welcome aboard. Why don't you open up a thread and share your experiences with us?

[Turboguy]

Welcome to the forum Rob.   I am sure we would all enjoy hearing more about your experiences.   There are getting to be enough RW around in places other than the FSU that it might be possible to find another locally.   Good luck in your search.

[rs1987]

Rob, welcome aboard. Why don't you open up a thread and share your experiences with us?

I would be happy to! Where should I open such a post? "Experienced" seems a little strong!

[Eduard]

Hi Rob,
Just curious, why do you think did Natalia leave you?

[rs1987]

Hi Rob,
Just curious, why do you think did Natalia leave you?

I guess I'll just post this here:

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I guess I should preface this by saying that the woman I fell in love with was definitely a FSUW, but had lived in the US for a decade at the time of our meeting. I'm not sure if this "Americanization" greatly changed her, but she was most definitely unlike anyone I have ever met before. Perhaps this is the Russian soul so many speak of? Anyhow:


After I graduated from college I took an internship at an Ivy League university in Cambridge, MA (that should narrow it down ). Anyhow, this woman was working in the same research department as I. The first time we had a meeting I could not take my eyes off her. Incredibly attractive and intelligent, but that wasn't what initially drew me... she had an almost undefinable quality to her. A way of carrying herself that I had never seen before. She would later explain to me it was a "Ukraine" thing. She is, unquestionably, a lady of the highest caliber. I have never seen anyone quite like her.

I pursued her relentlessly, or as relentlessly as one can without arousing suspicion. Within several weeks she invited me to drinks after work. This was my in. For the next three nights in a row we went out to dinner together. Things progressed rather quickly from there, and within a month she was my girlfriend. Oh and what an amazing girlfriend she was! Underneath that somewhat cold exterior was a truly wonderful and beautiful soul.

Her story was compelling. Coming to America near the turn of the last millennium, she had lived in some truly horrific situations but was completely indomitable. She had worked relentlessly to better herself in every way - indeed, on our first "date" she told me what she truly desired in life was a better childhood for her future children than she had had (this from a 23 year old lady!). I had never met anyone so driven or dedicated. She also had such a distinctive flair with regards to her wardrobe (librarian glasses with 6" pumps) and was so full of life. This from such a tiny person (5' 2")!

Anyhow, after a time I found myself living with her and discussing marriage (it all moved very quickly!). She was such a marvelous girlfriend - completely accepting of all my hobbies, a fantastic cook (even though I always tried to convince her to let me take her out), %100 dedicated to me; it was fantastic. We had such a great time together that we were always together, something I'd never imagined doing. She was a really great partner.

After a time we decided to move to another city together. This, sadly, is where the story sours. Young love turned out to not be a great match for a particularly bad round of unplanned unemployment. By the time I found a job, it was too late. The damage had been done (inability to provide stability is a cardinal sin, as I learned the hard way). The loving girl who had been so fantastic in Cambridge had been replaced by someone else. Some guys I have spoken to have said FSUW either love you or hate you. I don't know if that's true, but I'm afraid I'm solidly in the latter category with Natalia at this point. I still think the world of her, obviously.

Still, I wouldn't trade the memories for anything. I haven't been able to look at American women the same since. That poise and drive, the way of carrying herself, not to mention her beautiful features and vivaciousness... these things truly appealed to me. As did the Ukrainian accent and feisty personality.

So that's my story. I am actively looking to find someone with as many of the same features as she had. Of course she isn't replaceable, far from it, but she is no longer interested in a relationship with me at this point and I have to respect that. I am hoping to find a nice FSUW here in Washington, DC, but I'm afraid I haven't had much luck yet. Still on the lookout, and hopefully one day I'll be able to travel to Ukraine or Russia (or both!).

Thanks for reading.   

[Eduard]

Sorry it didn't work out! But it sounds like you are hooked... Try going to some Russian parties in DC, maybe a New Year's eve party. You might meet a RW this way.

[Gator]

Welcome rs!!!!

Some guys I have spoken to have said FSUW either love you or hate you.

Not my experience.  There is no "hate," it takes too much energy.   RW simply forget you and move on.  Past is past as if you have vaporized. 
 
They do not talk about men from the past, and they do not want to talk about them.  Nor do they want to hear repeatedly about your women (one discussion, then close the book).  Very pragmatic approach.

[I/O]

Rob: The clue in all of that (take heed junior punters) is, particularly if it involves a lady who's been through tough times, if you can't provide and be seen as a stable provider you're dead - no returns.
 
I've heard all the feel good chatter about RW's following you through thick and thin etc and I'm not totally discounting that but, overwhelmingly, when I look around at the relationships which fail and several (one stand out for those who have been around awhile) noted on this site, economics have been a factor, often a very large one.
 
Rob, I once met a similar type of lady to your ex (as you describe her) and was somewhat hooked for a while (not to the extent you were). The bottom line of why we split came down to ambition - hers much higher than mine. I'm not rich but I'm not poor and have been relatively comfortable at this level for a few years, to be fair, I probably should look for more - she was on the rise (from very basic beginnings) both academically and economically and wanted more, not so much materially as in achievement, no doubt by now she has achieved much and all power to her for whatever it is. My point to you is that it may not be so much the period of unemployment but rather, how you handled that - reflect on that before and as you embark on future relationships with any women and most especially RW's.
 

Nor do they want to hear repeatedly about your women (one discussion, then close the book).  Very pragmatic approach.

Hmmm, Gator, not exactly my experience, 7 years into our relationship Dearly Beloved doesn't mind firing the odd question from time to time about the past.
 
 

[Jumper]

They are not all the same of course,not even close.
So just don't expect the next Russian or  Ukrainian you meet to be anything like her, in either the good ,or bad ,ways..


While you seem to still really respect and impressed with her, she wasn't the person for you,
if she bailed only over  some initial financial hardship in a new city.

 In my city there are probably a half million Ukrainian and Russians.
If you include Lithuanian , etc  it goes up


Not sure about the DC area, but maybe try out mamba.ru (single.ru) and look in to DC area..
while it is primarily FSU based, and isn't the best RW dating site for the US,  it still should have a few thousand profiles in your region.

[Eduard]

Rob: The clue in all of that (take heed junior punters) is, particularly if it involves a lady who's been through tough times, if you can't provide and be seen as a stable provider you're dead - no returns.
 
I've heard all the feel good chatter about RW's following you through thick and thin etc and I'm not totally discounting that but, overwhelmingly, when I look around at the relationships which fail and several (one stand out for those who have been around awhile) noted on this site, economics have been a factor, often a very large one.
 

I think that this can be applied to women of any nationality. I read somewhere that most divorces in the USA happen due to money problems. It's in a woman's DNA to seek out a man who can provide security and stability. ALL women want tall, handsome and rich. Many will settle just for rich. I have seen this statement many times on different women's personals ads (I'm paraphrasing): "It is not the money and his wealth that attracts a woman to a rich man, it is the qualities of his personality, his character that made him become rich and successful that a woman finds very attractive".


However, personally I see this way of thinking as justification of gold digger tendencies in some. I've known several very wealthy men and their personality truly sucked! I can't imagine that a woman married to a man like that would be truly happy. But off course there must be some wealthy men who are also nice people and have a good personality, I just haven't met them yet.

[ML]

Rob, I think you are making a big mistake by looking for another FSUW.
You should be looking at ALL women.
You are much too young to be focusing in on any group.

Pursuing FSUW is OK for middle aged and older men who are looking to be with a younger and more slender woman.

For youngsters  like yourself, you can readily be with this 'younger' and more slender woman right here in the USA with hundreds of thousands of AW.

Forget this fantasy that FSUW are somehow inherently better in any way than AW.

Sure, you found a real jewel in many respects.  Could have just as easily been an AW in your case.

[remiel6]

Welcome rs!!!!
 

 
They do not talk about men from the past, and they do not want to talk about them.  Nor do they want to hear repeatedly about your women (one discussion, then close the book).  Very pragmatic approach.

Hope I did the quote thing right. I concur with this opinion completely. My wife and I discussed her previous men one day for ten minutes and that was about all. Even in 450 pages of letters she did not elaborate. She asked me about my family, my school, where I was born, where I've lived and a million other questions like this, but ex girlfriends not a chance. Even to this day after two years of marriage the subject does not really come up. She does not like to talk about the past. The past is past. This is a very pragmatic approach, but I wonder if a therapist might not truly believe it.