Trip Update, Just home from Turkey

[Vaughn]

In contrast, it was not until after our engagement that I began searching for visa instructions and ran across several discussion boards - none of which were quite as informative as this place called RWD. In other words, I walked through virtual landmine fields unscathed - with a bit of luck, some street smarts and lot of listening to my gut. Invaluable to me was my ability in the language thanks to the USAF when I was a young man.
 
You'll meet all kinds of fools here mixed in with very intelligent men and women who offer advice from experience. It helps to brush away the scraps and seek out those golden nuggets - often coming from the most unexpected members.

We had to travel by car to Nizhni Novgorod to meet Mama for the first time. She was more than accepting of me, very loving lady. Undoubtedly part of that acceptance was the fact that her daughter was 38 with a 12 year old child and here comes some guy to sweep her away - who wasn't some awestruck dreaming creep. She was elated when I could answer her questions and ask my own. We all stayed in a 2-story dacha by the river, and yep, all the neighbors happened by to check out the Amerikanets.
 
I think you will enjoy Kazan, I sure did. It was the birthplace of my wife's grandparents - and so, in 2010 we took a 2 hour bus ride to spend two or three days wandering the city with cousins. My niece has an apartment near the University, at the base of the "walking-only" boulevard that leads to Kazan's Kremlin and the Volga.   

[noelscot]

Well I have just woken up after a 6000 mile 27 hour return home from Turkey. I must say the woman was amazing, 32 years old from near Kazan and never married. We hit off very very well but I expected that after spending 3 months using video chat in skype, her English is poor but better than my Russian but we still managed to have a great time together. Turkey is not at all what I expected it would be especially with the tensions with Syria. It seems any tension is very far removed from Antalya and Side. We spent the majority of our time in Side walking up and down the beaches and eating in the local resaurants. We also took a trip to Pamukkale which was well worth the 4 hour drive just to swim in the mineral pool. The last day together we spent in Lara area because it was close to the airport. As I mentioned in another thread I rented a car while there for the entire time which was a very good investment even though we did not use the car everyday it was very nice not to have to try to figure out local travel. As others have stated the Turks drive like mad men and use every inch of the road and I found it helpful to have spent a bit of time driving in Chicago so it was not too horrible but I would advise to always have another car in front of you when aproaching intersections so you can follow there lead))... Back to the girl, she is a amazing woman who is young enough to be full of life and optimism but yet mature enough to know how the Russian man works and know that she wants no part of that in her life. Many have said in this forum that is almost impossible to develop real feelings for a person through the internet and I still disagree with that. We developed feelings through the many hours of skype and when we met in person it really validated what we thought from before. After a few hours of getting over the initial jitters of actualy being in the same room it was like we had been together for months. Most will say that I am stupid for suggesting this but it is what I think is the best next step for our situation. We have disgussed it together and have decided the best next step for us will be to apply for a fiancees visa and she will come to the USA and after we live together for a few months we will decide to be married or not. I know that this is not how the system is supposed to work but I also know I can make several trips to meet her and we will still not know anything until we live together so we will go for it. If after 2 months we decide we dont want to be married she will go back home. I expect that before she gets a visa we will meet again in her city but I do not expect to meet her family because she has made the decision not to tell her parents she will be running away to the USA until the day she will leave because her parents will try to convince her it is a bad idea. She has told her brother about me and I was surprised that he was ok with it and wants her to be happy where ever it is.... I know I have opened up a whole can of responses here and expect a bit of harsh criticism from those who have been around the block but every situation as I see it is different and without great risk we will neer have the chance for great reward,,,,,

 
I did not read the entire thread yet, but I saw that "fraud" was mentioned in regard to your plan to go through with the K-1 Visa and then wait 60 days (2 months) to decide if both parties will indeed marry.

 
Part of the k-1 visa process is submitting a "letter of intent" from both the petitioner (you) and the beneficiary (the lady). (This is the first part of the process in which you file the I-129F petition, I-129 F supplement to question 18, evidence of your U.S. citizenship, yours and her G-325A forms, form FC-029, passport photos, evidence of relationship, yada yada yada.) The letter merely states that you are both legally able and willing to marry and INTEND to marry within the 90 day period. "Intend" is the key word. Neither you nor the beneficiary PROMISE to marry. You state that you "intend" to marry. Be that as it may, you could consult an advocate. The penalty for immigration fraud is 6 years incarceration and/or a 250k fine. However, it's my opinion you are not engaged in fraud, but you are perhaps wasting your time, your lady's time, and the U.S. government's time by going forward with an engagement to marry that is wishy-washy at best.

 
If you continue on this path, i advise:

-meet her family. the "power of the blood" is very strong in Russian families and you should have them on your side, not against you.

-don't start the k-1 process unless you both are absolutely certain you want to marry. it's very time-consuming and effing it up once can affect future k-1 visa petitions.

-do an extended stay with her in her country and find out if it is mutually agreeable to cohabitate like a married couple.

-she needs intensive English program lessons to prepare for the k-1 visa interview

-don't file the I-129F and other initial documents until you are both 100% sure that you are going to marry. i'm talking, you have the marriage ceremony PLANNED and have given her an engagement ring, etc. don't do this with a half-heart
 
good luck

[Chicagoguy]

I think what Noelscot and others say here is all true and helpfull. But I think many of us have skated through on less. Myself and wife met only once in Russia and then in Turkey. I had never met her family. She did not speak any English. Her interview was only 1 question. I believe he was ready to say yes from the get go. The poor woman being interviewed next to my wife never had a chance. But maybe she was an obvious hoax to the interviewer.
On Visa Journey web page for awhile we had a member who worked at VSC. He stressed "follow the instructions". I believe the interviews are the most uncontrolable parts.
Still, if you can, I believe that the better prepared you are the better your chances. But others on VJ have said don't overdo it.

[Belvis]

Milz-- trust your heart

Every man on this route is trusting his heart. Then after a few years many of them write stories about how   their ways splitted over time being together, they found they're not compatible anymore, she has turned in a completely different person  and so on.
 There is no guarantee in achieving success over long term. However a man is in position to make it works unless he seeks the easiest ways around. Nobody said the woman from Kazan is bad. People said OP has no chance to know her better and thus he plays with odds especially as they have spotted the red flags. I will list the red flags (in my personal view):

1. I have not seen her photo but I trust posters who said she is beautiful. Beautiful woman is always a factor of risk, accept we this brutal truth or not. The only risk we're eager to take.
2. She was never married, no kids at age of 32. That makes her out of standard set for a typical RW of her age.
3. A pair wants to go on K1 track after a single vacation trip. The key word here is vacation. For example the man under nick Kmin has decided to marry a Siberian girl after a single visit to her home city.  I saw no a single red flag reading his TR. He spend a month with her on full 24/7 schedule in her natural environment with her family.
4. Dysfunctional family. Of course it is not a deal breaker but something to consider. Watching how she interacts with her folks would tell a lot. No fun here, but LTR will be no permanent fun either.

Final thought. If OP had visited her family, spend some time in her environment, get upset may be but decided "go to the hell, I want this girl still more" I would throw out all the red flags.

[Gator]

I was very surprised one day when I told her that I needed to get the brakes on my 50 Chevy and I didn't have time to spend on Skype because it had to be finished,  she asked if I could take the camera with so she could watch and I did, 

Remarkable.  It suggests she has intellectual curiosity.
 

she told me that whenever her father repaired the car he insisted that her mother be present. 

Odd.  If she considers her father as controlling, why would she repeat what her mother was forced to do?  The difference I guess is that you did not insist, and she is seriously interested in  what you do.
 

[Vaughn]

Remarkable.  It suggests she has intellectual curiosity. 

 
Agreed. It also suggests to me that she may have been surprised and delighted her man was a DIY - Do it Yourselfer - who in general terms, do not exist in the USA in the minds of many FSU gals. Whoops - I guess I'm one of those "gal" guys too. Really, I think she may have been surprised in a positive sense and wants to witness (with a measure of appreciation) Milz's mechanical capabilities. I recall Elvira being delightfully astounded before we first met when I said I had to change the oil that afternoon.
 
"You can really do that?"
 
A confirmed DIY guy earns points in their estimation of his worthiness. 

[ML]

 
Agreed. It also suggests to me that she may have been surprised and delighted her man was a DIY - Do it Yourselfer - who in general terms, do not exist in the USA in the minds of many FSU gals. Whoops - I guess I'm one of those "gal" guys too. Really, I think she may have been surprised in a positive sense and wants to witness (with a measure of appreciation) Milz's mechanical capabilities. I recall Elvira being delightfully astounded before we first met when I said I had to change the oil that afternoon.
 
"You can really do that?"
 
A confirmed DIY guy earns points in their estimation of his worthiness.

Yes, my Gal was also surprised when she saw me doing all plumbing and electrical repairs at my homes.  I used to even change oil in my cars and do engine tune-ups, but I gave that up years ago.  I still do the oil changes on my riding mowers and small tractors.

For her, the first idea is to:  Call a man.

Reminds me of joke I heard in FSU.

At 2:30 AM gal wakes man and says:  I need a man.
Her guy says:  Where will we find a man at this time of the night.

[ML]

Whoops - I guess I'm one of those "gal" guys too.

Well stop it.
I can see my having two personalities, but three is a bit much.   

[Milz713]

Yeah she was actually astonished that I changed the motor,  she kept asking how it is possible to know how to make the car like new again,  I had another very positive reaction when I let her watch me make dinner 1 night,  she kept telling me how delicious it looked,  I didnt want to let her down and tell her it was a store bought Taco kit  .  I told her from the very start that I do not search for a maid or a mother for my son, he has a mother and I have been cleaning my house and doing my own laundry and making our dinners for a long time,  I search for a partner in life..


About 10 years ago I got the best compliment I have ever gotten,  I sold a motorcycle to a Japanese guy from California and he had a guy come to Michigan to get it,  I showed him the custom bike I built and he saw my home and everything and he looked at me and said with a very Japanese accent,,  "You,  you real American man!"