The Russians are Coming! The Russians are Coming!

[Gator]

Eduard and Belvis,
 
Thanks for the advice.  It is golden and very helpful. 
 
What you say is largely applicable when a traveler meets the parents of his intended for the first time.
 
Pure gold!!!
 
Thanks again.

[Eduard]

Eduard and Belvis,
 
Thanks for the advice.  It is golden and very helpful. 
 
What you say is largely applicable when a traveler meets the parents of his intended for the first time.
 
Pure gold!!!
 
Thanks again.

Happy to be of help, as always, Phil. I hope you have a great visit with the family.
Ed

[GQBlues]

...I have talked with Greg about his MIL.  Mine is not the wicked witch from the East.  Besides there are no young children where a MIL feels that she must intercede.  And the children are very happy.  The young tykes are in Russia, greatgrandchildren. 
 
I met Doona Pedro's mama.  She seemed like a reasonable woman but was not canning, cooking, cleaning, weeding, digging, etc.  like my MIL. 
 
Another key.  My MIL and FIL have been happily married for well over 50 years.  I see a happy, functional family.  MIL even managed to smile when having sciatica during one visit. However, I have been wrong before in my life.

Maybe that has something to do with it, maybe not. My in-laws have been married since day one and their oldest daughter is past mid-30. My MIL cooks, etc...All these are subjective. There's no cookie trail, cookie sheet, or MIL 101 cheat sheet ever in these dynamics.
 

...Tolerance is an issue when there is a conflict.  What do you see as potential conflicts? Perhaps I am missing something.  I agree that they don't need me (e. g., they have two cars to drive) so they can ignore me as I can ignore them.

Not painting your world to be doomed on something that hasn't yet happened. All I'm really saying is be the very best boy scout you can possibly be. If you think you can go out with the boys and play chase the little round white ball and let the girls go out and do girlie thing...better understand that may not necessarily be conducive to a productive display of valor and time generosity. You may likely be hitting a duff or shank with that silly move.

At home - there's space infringement. There's the feeling of being a stranger in your own house which will be unavoidable especially because of lack of a common language and cultural unfamiliarity. I know you're retired and while you may not have a tedious daily routine set in your life, even your abstract schedule will be imposed upon - daily - for 4 long freakin' weeks.

YOU (we) are not wired in the same mentality & perception these wonderful folks are. Period. It's not a question of 'good' or 'bad' - we are simply 'different'. It's never what you'll do, need to do, who you are - it's how they'll form their opinion of you and your world - independent of you but highly dependent upon the world with you in it. Period.

Heck...just enjoy the process, when all is said and done,  that's why it's called Russian Roulette.

[Eduard]

In response to GQ's post: If your efforts are not sincere - they will feel it.

[Faux Pas]

Gator, I haven't had any outlaw visits but, it's not because we haven't wanted to. FIL is deceased and MIL is in her 80's. We did tentatively plan a trip having SIL who is pining to visit accompany MIL then, MIL had a mild heart attack and the recovery changed those plans. Hopefully, we can get it planned through fruition soon.

Quite frankly, I'd love to have them visit. Both really think the world of me and treat me like a King when I am in Russia. I would very much like to return the hospitality. MIL is an old school Russian lady. Very demure in most respects and tough as leather in others. Very sprite for her age and somewhat a social butterfly.

I envy you and if your Cossack's people are anything like my in-laws, you'll have the time of your life. Don't sweat it. You are plenty familiar enough with the culture. You being the host is a turn around on these usual situations.  It's a time for relationship building. Bend over backwards to make sure they happy, fed and entertained.

[jb]

Gator;

So you did go back and marry the Cossack woman?  The last we talked that was off the table, I'm surprised.

I hope you in-law visit goes well, I have no reason to think you won't be the perfect host.  Good luck.

[Jack]

MIL !!    Oh man, can sure tell I have not been around much lately.  I had  no idea Gator.  I am happy for you.

I do not predict the doom and gloom as several have.  I think things will go quite well.  My only concern would be the length of time of the visit.  One month, that's a looooooooong time.   I might suggest you try to do something that would make this one month flow quicker. One thing to consider would be to try to break this time frame in two. 

The first 8-9-10 days will be a breeze.  On or about day's 9 or 10 you might want to consider renting a mini or regular size van, plan a 5 or 6 day trip to Orlando, seeing Disney and the surrounding sites.  These 5 or 6 days would pass quickly and upon returning home their would be less than two weeks left before they departed. 

And again, Congratulations on the marriage.

[Vaughn]

Gator, I predict a very pleasant experience. You may at times feel invisible with all the chatter that's bound to fill the air. Enjoy every minute of their visit. The month will fly right by.
 
I also missed any announcement that might have been, or not. Congratulations. I was years ago rooting for the Cossack lady based on your writings here. Glad you finally chose to see things my way, LOL.

[Gator]

FP, JB, Jack and Vaughn,

Thanks for the encouragement.  My sentiment going into this is the same as yours.   It will be fine.
 
Vaughn, I know that you have endeavored a couple of times for your MIL to visit only to have her visa denied for inexplicable reasons.  My wife's MIL and sister applied through an agency (Pony Express) and were interviewed in Yekaterinburg.   The CO asked MIL about her marriage, and it evidently helped that she has been married for 50  years and the husband is not traveling.  The  sister is unmarried yet has a child and two grandchild in Russia, and she has a high level job in the women's prison system.   On the day of their interview, they said some other Russians their age  were denied. 

[Gator]

So you did go back and marry the Cossack woman?  The last we talked that was off the table, I'm surprised.

 I was years ago rooting for the Cossack lady based on your writings here. Glad you finally chose to see things my way,

I knew the Cossack woman was ideal for me from our first days together at New Year's 2006.  We got along gloriously; however, she was reluctant to leave her friends, family and income in Russia.  What changed her mind?  A few visits to Florida via a tourist visa and  her daughter coming here  as a student and deciding to stay.
 
My  American friends  upon learning that I was again considering marriage to another Russian were alarmed to say the least.  My  two sons considered having me committed to a mental institution.   Upon meeting her the reaction was unanimous:  "She's delightful, you should have married her instead of the other one." 
 
Life now and then blesses you with a second chance.  And my reward is four weeks with four adult RW not speaking English.   Anyone have any ointment for henpecking?
 

[Jumper]

They'll have a grand time, likely so will you !  it will  be fine.




and Congrats Gator, and Mrs Gator !! 


Gorka gorka!!


 

[Vaughn]

Anyone have any ointment for henpecking?

Earplugs? That question is choice.....  I had forgotten about your wife's reluctance to relocate, but am glad she overcame that. My MIL has been here twice, in 2005 and 2008 IIRC. It was my wife's sister who was denied twice. Our niece, however, is here rather long term as I write this. Her approval baffled me in light of her Mom's double rejection. Katya is pushing all of 22, single, beautiful, graduate of Kazan State with honors. Her ties to the Motherland are few in comparison to her Mom's. Her stay thus far has been delightful, studying English via Rosetta Stone by day, partying & clubbing with her cousin (my stepdaughter) by night. I try to teach her new vocabulary at least once each day - she's got a steel trap memory but still has not broken out of her shyness about speaking at length.

[BC]

Our miece, however, is here rather long term as I write this. Her approval baffled me in light of her Mom's double rejection.

OMG...  The CO must have fallen in luv at first sight.. jeez... who wouldn't...

[ML]

Quote from: Vaughn on Today at 07:09:44 AM
Our miece, however, is here rather long term as I write this. Her approval baffled me in light of her Mom's double rejection.

= = = = =

Vaughn, it is not fair to make corrections before a chance is given for some jabs.

One:  Mouse
Two:  Mice
Family:  Miece

[Vaughn]

Vaughn, it is not fair to make corrections before a chance is given for some jabs.

Hey, at least I didn't refer to her as a mouse.

[Vaughn]

I will be outnumbered 5 to 1. 

Gator, I figure you're approaching the 2-week mark. So how's it going?

[Gator]

It has been two years since I last saw MIL and SIL.  When meeting at the airport, MIL rubs my stomach, smiles and says "Ho! Ho! Ho!"
 
All's good.
 
Strange here but peaceful.  When not playing golf or doing some "work," I wear them out by shopping or walking in nature.  Then I sit down and watch sports on TV in another room.  Meals vary.   
 

[Eduard]

MIL rubs my stomach, smiles and says "Ho! Ho! Ho!"
 

are you sure that wasn't Santa?

[mies]

In just over one week, the babushka and the older sister will arrive for a four-week visit.  Both are pleasant women, yet neither speaks a word of English.  Also, neither have ever traveled outside Russia.
 
I will be outnumbered 5 to 1.   Any opinions on what I may be feeling over the four weeks?   Any suggestions for how to make everyone comfortable and happy.
 
I am planning on getting out of the way and playing a lot of golf.  We will take a few short trips together but my car only holds 5 people so that leaves me out for most trips.

-Nationality?
- Russian.
- Occupation?
- No, no, just visiting!

[Anotherkiwi]

-Nationality?
- Russian.
- Occupation?
- No, no, just visiting!

 
Nice one mies!!