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Author Topic: New guy  (Read 4520 times)

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Offline HflGuy

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New guy
« on: June 22, 2013, 07:13:09 AM »
Hey everyone.  I've been wandering around the forum for a day or so reading.  Thanks for putting this info together and sharing your experiences.  I've enjoyed learning about this process thus far.

I'm 40 and widowed earlier this year.  I'm curious about a few things.  I'm not ready to jump back into a marriage, but it seems like the process of finding an match can take some time, which is OK with me.  In general, how long did it take to find and get your eventual match to the US?  I know it will differ from person to person but from what I've read a couple of years might be normal? 

I saw the sticky on free sites to use but the info may be dated because the net moves fast.  I was going to use Elena's models and/or RussianCupid, as well as check out some of the ones in the list.  I've read here that Elena's does a remarkable job wedding out scammers. Any suggestions?

Finally, any advice you might have for a new guy will be we'll received.

Thanks.

Offline SANDRO43

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Re: New guy
« Reply #1 on: June 22, 2013, 09:12:48 AM »
I've read here that Elena's does a remarkable job wedding out scammers.
If true, that'd be quite worrisome, unless you really meant weeding out ;D.

BTW,  :welcome: to RWD.
Milan's "Duomo"

Offline Patagonie

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Re: New guy
« Reply #2 on: June 22, 2013, 09:20:07 AM »
Hi, welcome on board.

Read the ten commandments,
go here : http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?board=3.0

you can also read http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=16100.msg336783#new (to be continued)

EM is  chasing scammers or prodaters but i wouldn't say remarkably. You are not safe on this site of this population, absolutely not (i also detected a prostitute in Kiev).
Schedule two, three, four of five years before she can live with you in your city.
"Je glissais through the paper wall, an angel in the hand, c taboy. I lay on the floor, surgi des chants de Maldoror, je mix l'intégrale de mes nuits de crystal, I belong to the festival.

Offline pokerintherear

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Re: New guy
« Reply #3 on: June 22, 2013, 10:47:32 AM »
After you file the papers for immigration for your "match" it takes about 5-8 months for the "match" to set foot on US soil. Assuming your from the USA?

I consider EM a good site to look around and make contacts. Yes, it seems they do a good job of removing suspicious profiles. But there is nothing they can do about the women who would be called "pro daters" or the women who want to use you for immigration purposes.

Unfortunately most forums like these lack the most important section of how you look at yourself in the mirror. When you look at yourself in a natural or healthy way your senses will detect what "match" is good or bad. Stay away from large age gaps and allow things to happen without forcing the event.  It cant be said enough about how important the man in the mirror is. Be very honest with yourself and you can find a good woman.


Offline LAman

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Re: New guy
« Reply #4 on: June 22, 2013, 01:00:53 PM »
After you file the papers for immigration for your "match" it takes about 5-8 months for the "match" to set foot on US soil. Assuming your from the USA?

I consider EM a good site to look around and make contacts. Yes, it seems they do a good job of removing suspicious profiles. But there is nothing they can do about the women who would be called "pro daters" or the women who want to use you for immigration purposes.

Unfortunately most forums like these lack the most important section of how you look at yourself in the mirror. When you look at yourself in a natural or healthy way your senses will detect what "match" is good or bad. Stay away from large age gaps and allow things to happen without forcing the event.  It cant be said enough about how important the man in the mirror is. Be very honest with yourself and you can find a good woman.
To me, that is most important aspect in this journey......being realistic to yourself!!!!
There is no site around to help you with that.... so anyone telling someone about this site or that one is not really helping out. Be honest with yourself in what you are looking for and what matches up best with your personality, interests and goals.
Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift

Offline Ooooops

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Re: New guy
« Reply #5 on: June 22, 2013, 06:47:22 PM »
A little month, or ere those shoes were old... (c)




lordtiberius

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Re: New guy
« Reply #6 on: June 22, 2013, 11:52:00 PM »
I was going to use Elena's models and/or RussianCupid, as well as check out some of the ones in the list.  I've read here that Elena's does a remarkable job wedding out scammers. Any suggestions?

fdating - its free - very few if any scammers Russian cupid is stocked full of scammers. Ton of hotties on fdating

Offline chooter

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Re: New guy
« Reply #7 on: June 25, 2013, 09:50:50 AM »
I have a friend met his now wife on fdating.

Listen to your "gut feeling"...saved me more than one time.
The final step to happiness or the disaster of your life, marriage can be great thing or ruin you.
Take the risk or stay lonely?

Offline cc3

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Re: New guy
« Reply #8 on: June 25, 2013, 04:32:30 PM »
Ciao Hfl,  :welcome:

 I won't repeat some of the good advice given other than to heartily endorse the inputs of patagonie and poker.

As for time of search until engagement, for me it was 6 years, but in those 6, I took a 3 year sabbatical to date American residents, 4 citizens and 1 US resident RW. Didn't work, so back to eastern Europe I went...and almost immediately met, online, the lady who was destined to become my fiancee (a year after we met online).

Online JohnDearGreen

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Re: New guy
« Reply #9 on: June 25, 2013, 06:48:59 PM »

Offline HflGuy

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Re: New guy
« Reply #10 on: July 07, 2013, 06:30:46 PM »
Thanks for all the advice.  I'm glad I ran into this forum before starting down the road to international dating.  Just as a newbie perspective, I signed up for RussianCupid but then found Elena's models (from this site).  I would have to say that EM is a much easier place to correspond.  I found EM has a group of women who know what they want in a partner and I have not received any spam because of my correspondence there.  Can't say the same for RC, but there are still a lot of good women there.  I found that if you can bare your soul honestly on either site though, you will receive a lot of attention.  I received a considerable amount of unsolicited email from women on EM, but it is good to be the fish sometimes. 

lordtiberius

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Re: New guy
« Reply #11 on: July 09, 2013, 11:20:01 PM »
Thanks for all the advice.  I'm glad I ran into this forum before starting down the road to international dating.  Just as a newbie perspective, I signed up for RussianCupid but then found Elena's models (from this site).  I would have to say that EM is a much easier place to correspond.  I found EM has a group of women who know what they want in a partner and I have not received any spam because of my correspondence there.  Can't say the same for RC, but there are still a lot of good women there.  I found that if you can bare your soul honestly on either site though, you will receive a lot of attention.  I received a considerable amount of unsolicited email from women on EM, but it is good to be the fish sometimes.

save your money and use the free sites jus' sayin'

Offline LAman

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Re: New guy
« Reply #12 on: July 10, 2013, 07:22:01 AM »
save your money and use the free sites jus' sayin'
Sometimes you get what you pay for.......jus' sayin'
 
for some....time can become important than money...... jus' sayin'
 8)
Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift

lordtiberius

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Re: New guy
« Reply #13 on: July 10, 2013, 08:16:35 AM »
The sister board describes this activity as an adventure.  The word implies some loss and some gain.  It also implies uncertainty, improvisation and possible reward to those who risk.  Sooner or later I think every person will come across some danger whether it be a scammer, a broken heart, misspent money or listening to the advice of the resident 'so-called' experts.  Just the nature of the beast

Offline Brianinaz

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Re: New guy
« Reply #14 on: July 10, 2013, 09:26:01 AM »
As to how long it will take until she sets foot on you soil it depends on where you're from. If you're from the US 5-8 months is a reasonable estimate. The length of time for the whole process is all over the board and depends to a degree on luck. You have your occasional one week wonders and on the other end of the spectrum I know a fellow that was at it for like 10 years and over 20 trips before he got married. For me it was 3 years and somewhere around 10 trips. I mention the number of trips because the cost is something to think about. At 3-5k per trip this can be an expensive hobby

Offline Turboguy

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Re: New guy
« Reply #15 on: July 10, 2013, 09:43:55 AM »
I know a fellow that was at it for like 10 years and over 20 trips before he got married. For me it was 3 years and somewhere around 10 trips.


He was a piker.  I topped that one at 15 years and 25 trips.


I agree with LA man about the free sites.  Because they are free you are competing with a ton of armchair romeos who will never make a trip.  An attractive gal will get 500 letters a day when she first posts.   The response rate and drop off rate make it a waste of time compared to someplace like Elena's which has both more serious men and more serious women.

Offline Brianinaz

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Re: New guy
« Reply #16 on: July 10, 2013, 10:42:56 AM »

He was a piker.  I topped that one at 15 years and 25 trips.

Ouch! I guess the experiences and adventures along the way compensate to a degree. I don't know if I would have had the stamina to keep at it that long. I had a lot of fun and met some very interesting people along the way but there was also a fair amount of disappointment and emotional roller coaster rides mixed in that at times was quite draining.

Offline Turboguy

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Re: New guy
« Reply #17 on: July 10, 2013, 12:35:35 PM »
Very true Brian.   My early trips especially were a real adventure and probably were among the more memorable experiences of my life.  Of course the ones with my wife were pretty wonderful as well. 


But there were a few that were disappointing and discouraging.  All in all, it was an experience that I will never forget and don't regret a bit.   

Offline Steamer

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Re: New guy
« Reply #18 on: July 10, 2013, 11:28:37 PM »
Don't fall in love with a photo.
Meet them in their home town.
Don't Boink 'em on the first date. It's easier (and safer) to dump em if you haven't had sex.
Talk straight and direct. Don't screw around with peoples emotions.

Life ain't nothing but a poker game
And no two hands are quite the same
But I never saw a winner that didn't bet

 

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