Dating an agency interpreter

[AdamF]

Just after some feedback.
Ive been chatting on Skype with a Ukr woman, less than a month, and she happens to be an agency interpreter.

Ive been to Ukr before, so Im not shy about going over to see her. I just want some feedback from the experienced guys here about this.

With her knowledge of the industry, should I be extra careful of getting scammed etc? Is there anything I should pay particular attention to?

She has told me before, that the girls she translates for often ask her help to get gifts etc from the guys coming to visit them. I know that its her job, but should I consider that a red flag?

Hope this doenst come across as paranoid.

Thanks

[steveboy]

Very convenient. Why not just speak to girls who speak English?? It would save you having to worry about any translation troubles??

And I would tell her pretty clear "You don't do gifts" And make it very clear to her. Maybe then you will not hear from the pest anyway

[jone]

Good morning, Adam,

Tell us about yourself.  If the match is a good match, there is not risk greater than dating any other agency woman.

You have to be realistic about yourself in the relationship.  I had the chance to sit down with some agency women while I was in Ukraine this summer.  They knew that I knew that they were on the website to get paid.  So the meeting and discussion was very honest and they had no problem revealing their ploys to get men to buy into a relationship.  One of the obvious ones was to admit how they were making money to the 'mark', but tell the guy that they were really attracted to him in particular.

If that honesty exists, and you connect, meet the woman and see if there is something more.  But don't be sucked in by the normal agency hype.  If she 'confesses' attraction to you but you still can only contact her through a site that you are paying for, then she is more attracted to your money and her income.

The good news, if you meet in person, is that this woman will not require the agency TERP to be present for your dates.

[2tallbill]

With her knowledge of the industry, should I be extra careful of getting scammed etc? Is there anything I should pay particular attention to?

She has told me before, that the girls she translates for often ask her help to get gifts etc from the guys coming to visit them. I know that its her job, but should I consider that a red flag?

Hope this doesn't come across as paranoid.

Thanks

I would recommend cautious optimism. What you need to determine if she
is sincere, honest and a good match for you, just like you would if she didn't
work in an agency. A fluent girl with experience seeing how things fall can
fall apart could be a great asset.



Keep you eyes open, do your due diligence, win her heart and have
fun  [size=78%]. [/size]

If she 'confesses' attraction to you but you still can only contact her through a site that you are paying for, then she is more attracted to your money and her income.The good news, if you meet in person, is that this woman will not require the agency TERP to be present for your dates.

Absolutely true,


Adam did say he was talking to her on Skype which the agency wouldn't
be getting a commission on.


 

[ML]

On strictly business trips, I spent some time with 2 interpreters who were working for the business people I was meeting.

We had some casual lunches and dinners together.  They both told that they also worked for MOB agencies.  They gave me a sort of run-down on how those businesses worked.  They really didn't like the sleazyness of the MOB work and much preferred the industrial business interpretation work.

They were heavy on the criticism of the gals who needed interpreters.  One told me that several of them married having known only 5 words of English, went off to English speaking countries, and came back a year later knowing 10 words of English.

I wasn't looking for a gal at the time but, if I were, I would have gone for both of them.  Seemed to me they were sincere gals, even as they sometimes worked in a sleazy business.

[die_cast]

Ive been chatting on Skype with a Ukr woman, less than a month, and she happens to be an agency interpreter.

With her knowledge of the industry, should I be extra careful of getting scammed etc? Is there anything I should pay particular attention to?

She has told me before, that the girls she translates for often ask her help to get gifts etc from the guys coming to visit them. I know that its her job, but should I consider that a red flag?

Adam, think about it for a moment.
Yes, she is the part of "industry". But she knew you were in Ukraine before and you are not a newbie, as was mentioned already - she is talking to you by Skype and doesn't force you to spend money on correspondence. Also she told you about girls who wanted to get gifts from guys, do you think she is that stupid to tell you about it and then try to do same tricks with you?
Perhaps, her job by itself can be called "red flag", but it has some sense to look at her behaviour first.
I don't think you should be extra careful with her, just same careful as with any another girl - don't send her any money before meeting, don't buy her any gifts you would not buy for another girl (decent girl would not ask you to buy her gifts and would not try to do something to get gifts from you).
But don't tell her directly "I will not buy you any gifts", "Too many scammers in Ukraine", "You don't do gifts" 
All that sounds rude and "greedy".
If you will go to meet her, bring her something nice and not expensive (but something for her, not something you will eat or use with her). And just don't go to shopping with her while you will be there. 

[Shadow]

The single red flag is that you know if she is looking for the best deal she has a lot of opportunities to find a better one. So either you must be Bill Gates, or there is genuine attraction to keep her interested.
Do not put het off by paranoia, she meets that every day and will probably hate it as she also know about the losers that are on the male end of the camera.
Have an open mind and look for sign that show her interest or that she is losing interest.
You have nothing to lose except time. And if she is a genuine nice person but you find out there is no base for a relationship, she has a lot of women she can set you up with.

[steveboy]

What is all this gift bunk!! I mean when your dating in your home country, just say a long time back! Did you buy a gift for every girl you went out and met? You would just meet up with her and go out for dinner or something, I cant ever personally remember feeling obliged to buy a gift! In my case I would of been skint!!   I don't understand why there is all this issue about "What should I buy"? Ohhh shall I buy the Grandmother a gift? mmmmm what about the great aunt, and uncle Boris?
You should never ever feel obliged to buy any girl on a first meeting a gift. And I personally think any real, normal, genuine women would never expect a "Gift"
I know Im a British penny pincher "greedy" as some Russian women would say   But I'm far from stupid

[steveboy]

Ok , now my other half says Im a tight fisted scrooge and all she never met a guy before who didn't bring a gift, Im the first

[2tallbill]

You should never ever feel obliged to buy any girl on a first meeting a gift. And I personally think any real, normal, genuine women would never expect a "Gift"
I know Im a British penny pincher "greedy" as some Russian women would say

If you meet a girl for coffee on a visit many trip then you are not obligated
to buy her a gift. However if you wrote to her for 3 months and skyped with
her daily then you are obligated to bring something.


The best gift is something local like a table top tourist book of sights and
scenes in your area.   


If you go to the house of another for dinner then you are obligated to bring
something. A cake is an excellent example of something to bring.

  But I'm far from stupid

Then prove it*

Udachi !

Bill




*[size=78%]writing something helpful to newbies would be a good example[/size]

[AdamF]

Thanks for the heads up guys.
It's good to get an outside opinion.

There is absolutely no agency involvement whatsoever, she just works for an agency, and put her profile up in attempts to meet someone, but I did not contact her through the agency. I did a search and found her on numerous agency sites, but I know this doesn't really mean anything.

All the Skype we have done hasn't cost a thing. Nor has she asked me for money, or gifts.

Ok, so I will proceed as normal, but maintain alertness.
Cheers

[die_cast]

What is all this gift bunk!! I mean when your dating in your home country, just say a long time back! Did you buy a gift for every girl you went out and met? You would just meet up with her and go out for dinner or something, I cant ever personally remember feeling obliged to buy a gift! In my case I would of been skint!!   I don't understand why there is all this issue about "What should I buy"? Ohhh shall I buy the Grandmother a gift? mmmmm what about the great aunt, and uncle Boris?
You should never ever feel obliged to buy any girl on a first meeting a gift. And I personally think any real, normal, genuine women would never expect a "Gift"

Probably western women don't expect any gifts but we do. It's a tradition, people who live far away from you and visit you, bring you gifts, doesn't matter if you are woman or man. If girl would dating local guy, who is living in another city or region - she would expect him bring her a gift. Even more, if woman visit her man who lives in another country, region, city - she will bring him the gift.
Of course, if guy is on WMVM or WNVM and just meet a lot of girls for coffee, he can don't bring anything, but after few-several months of chatting with one girl, she will expect to get the gift from you, even it will be just a pencil. Anything. She would not ask and would not tell you did something wrong if you will bring her nothing, but she will EXPECT it from you, because it's natural for her, that's how it should be here.

[AdamF]

I'll keep that in mind.

I know about shopping dates, but a gift from my home, especially after a few months worth of chat I think is a kind sincere gesture.

Question, is it unusual if the girl interprets late into the night, like 1am?

She says she starts to translate at 8pm, and when I ask her why not start at 9am, it's because the girl dating the foreigner works in the morning. But it seems a little fishy they finish so late especially if the girl has to work the next day at 9am.

Or am I being paranoid?

Any feedback, as always very appreciated.

[Shadow]

I'll keep that in mind.

I know about shopping dates, but a gift from my home, especially after a few months worth of chat I think is a kind sincere gesture.

Question, is it unusual if the girl interprets late into the night, like 1am?

She says she starts to translate at 8pm, and when I ask her why not start at 9am, it's because the girl dating the foreigner works in the morning. But it seems a little fishy they finish so late especially if the girl has to work the next day at 9am.

Or am I being paranoid?

Any feedback, as always very appreciated.

Nothing unusual. MrsShadow is at times active until 2am (private not for work, but still) which means that for some of her Russian fgriends it is 4am.

Working late is bringing good income, as that is the time the live chats take place.

[AdamF]

Shadow,
She's actually translating for a couple. He's a foreigner of course visiting a girl from the agency she's a member of, and works for, but if the date is going that late, is that normal for a interpreter to stick around?

Think I'm going to check with the agency if she actually does work for them or not, that will clear up a lot of issues.

Thanks for positive input.

[JayH]

Adam-- forget checking--do not do it.  Huge mistake and potentially fatal to your ambitions.  There is/are  perfectly feasible explanations for everything she has said.  More later!!

[mendeleyev]

Adam, if you think that there is a scammer under every rock, there will be. In reality the hysteria over scammers is blown wildly out of proportion. Relax.

Remember that your 1am is not her 1am in case you've not calculated the time differences. Joseph Stalin was a night owl and even during the war he'd wake up around 10 or 11am and work far into the wee hours of the morning, forcing his government ministers to do the same.

My wife often works late in the art studio in our home and on some days comes to bed at 2 or 3am. She however gets up early and insists on eating breakfast together and then she goes right back to her work all day. I have odd hours as well. Because of media filing timelines over the globe I get 4-5 hours sleep at night but try to catch a short nap sometime in the afternoon when possible.

Russians on the whole aren't "morning people" as a general rule and I believe that the climate may have at least something to do with that because in winter daylight may not appear until 9 or 10am.

By the way, I have found that few who seem to be "fluent" are really so. Even paid interpreters are rarely fluent. The only way someone can truly be "fluent" in a language is to have LIVED that language, not just learned how to speak one. Language is truly understood by environment context and the only way to get that is to live and come to understand the language. Speaking it is not true fluency.

[mendeleyev]

FSU folk are very sensitive also to anything they perceive as criticism of the Soviet Union or their country. A few days ago a person from the Netherlands asked a question on a social media site about what people were doing in a photo that someone had posted from Russia. The photo was labeled from 1975 and was of an outdoor market.

Several other readers chimed in that they'd like an explanation too so in seeing the sign for "potatoes" in Russian I explained that it was an outdoor market and people were buying potatoes.

Another reader commented on the dress styles of the ladies so I posted a comment that those were from that 1975 era, they reminded me of dresses my own mother had worn back then, and that you could see those patterns today but not in the bigger cities anymore and a trip out to more rural areas would be necessary to see older women in those same styles.

A couple days later a Russian reader replied, Это взгляд на Россию с берегов Потомака. She felt that I was viewing Russia from the edge of the Potomac (Washington DC by inference) instead of Russia. It was not that I was literally on the Potomac river but that she felt I was viewing Russia thru American eyes.

Well, I understood her sensitivity. I also took into consideration that her English might not be fluent so that would of course filter how she viewed my original comment. I responded to her that Russia is a beautiful country, from cities to villages the people are beautiful, and that I was viewing Russia from the banks of the Moscow River, not the Potomac. But I was respectful, understanding the reason for her comments to me.

It was not in good form to joke around until we understand the level of comprehension of the other person and that is something we have to learn in these relationships.