Summer in Mykolaiv / A Trip Report

[jone]

A Really Good Trip Report:  Chapter 1

You know what we haven’t had on here for a long time:  A trip report.  So I thought I’d toss some coins in the pot and see if we can’t get some other trip reports going as well.

My story begins in March.  I was spending time talking to a beautiful woman in Kharkov.  I had been to see her twice and she is both remarkable in her personality and beautiful in her appearance.  Her looks were exotic.  Not the typical Ukrainian fare, but dark eyed with lustrous dark hair.  After dating her for three months and spending the New Year holiday with her, she let me know that she wanted to bring any future children we might have under a religion that I was not comfortable with.  Reluctantly, I said goodbye to this woman and began looking again. 

My father always said that every fifteen minutes a new woman can come into your life.  I was hoping he was correct.

Believe it or not, I used ADate (Anastasia Date) to find a woman that intrigued me.  She is tall and very beautiful.  My thoughts at the time were that she was a pro-dater or Agency plant.  However, I was able to quickly move her off of ADate and on to Skype, allowing me to explore a relationship.  Here she is in a nice picture that shows a girl next door with a killer figure. 





We began talking every day on Skype.  By the end of April, I was on a plane to meet her in Mykolaiv and I was not disappointed.  Although our time together was very short, we hit it off and became close enough on this trip to plan our summer together. 

Here she is on Skype:



After I got back to the US, I would Skype with her twice each day.  We became very close and planned on my living in Mykolaiv for the summer.  She obtained an apartment for the two of us and sent lots of pictures…….. 

My trip was scheduled for June 15th.  However at this precise time, the US Financial Markets tanked throwing all of my business activities into a tailspin.  I had to delay my trip.  I told her I would be late by one week.  She was crushed.  I then told her it would be one more week, but that I would make it up to her by staying longer through the summer and that I didn’t think a two week delay was anything compared to a life together.  I’ll never forget the look in her eyes that day.  The light went out.
I arrived in Mykolaiv after my delay.  I had brought my two very small dogs with me as I was, for all practical purposes, moving to Ukraine.  While she met me, and (in theory) was with me in the apartment, she was never really with me.  She stated that she was a simple Ukrainian woman and that she could not understand my tardiness.  She accused me of seeing other women on the trip to Ukraine and that her relationship with me was subordinate to some fictitious one that she imagined.  No amount of reasoning would change her mind.  I was lost to her.

Quite honestly, I was crushed.  As much as a man could have feelings for a woman that he had only previously spent a short period of time with, but that had subsequently talked to every day as his best friend, my heart was breaking.  I was in a city I knew very little about.  I had two dogs with me.  What was I to do?

To Be Continued:

[Gator]

Yes, we need a trip report.  Thanks.

Jone, you move quickly.  Breakup in March, meeting another woman in April.  And you move well -  fine looking woman. 

Unfortunately, both women were obstinate.  I commend you for not lingering and attempting the impossible of changing their minds.

[jone]

Chapter 2:

Last you left me, I was sitting in an apartment in Southeastern Mykolaiv with no woman and no idea how I was going to spend my summer.  I had come to Mykolaiv on a WOVO – ongoing relationship and now I was about to spend the 4th of July on my own and with no prospects for a happy summer.  Woe is me!
A change of venue was certainly in order.  I cancelled out any future claim on the apartment and went over to the Reikhartz River Hotel on the Bug River.  I liked it because I had stayed there before and they provided a sumptuous breakfast which would last me through most of the day. 

Remembering my father’s words, I knew that I should drown my sorrows in the arms of another.  But I was not sure if I could bring myself to do this.  Back on the internet.  Back, vetting women, back making contacts and then, finally selecting one.

My choice, this time, again came from ADate.  The lady was a flighty thing from a small village.  She had a gypsy quality to her and I’m sure that she can bewitch anyone she sets her mind to.  Her name is Helena or Elena as the case may be.  She is now 28, 27 then.

I had set out to meet her with a translator.  She spoke passable English and I speak no small amount of Russian.  So we got along easily without one, but the agency she was working through insisted that I was a security risk, even though we were meeting for coffee on the most heavily traveled street in Mykolaiv.  (Such should have set off alarm bells immediately, but I was beyond caring, still feeling my loss.)

So, after three days of having my future plans disrupted, I found myself with an agency translator and a beautiful young woman in the heart of Mykolaiv.  The women arrived as prescribed.  For those of you who know Mykolaiv (we affectionately call it Niko) there really is only one place to meet:  The corner of Sovietskya and Prospect Lenin at the McDonalds.  Everyone knows it.  If you sit on the cement brick fence for an hour you will see five or six such meetings on a weekend day.

The gals walked up.  Mine was all she was expected to be from the pictures and video.  Here was a beautiful 27 YO who had the world wrapped around her pinky.  I honestly had the impression that she wanted to live in the States.   We went to the coffee house.  I gave her a nice box of Sees chocolates from Los Angeles (we are actually capable of something other than Hollywood type industries).  She chatted away about her life in a small village growing up.  She said she lived with her grandfather and that he was “out of town” just then.  There was certainly a sparkle in her eye.

After finishing the coffee and some pastries, I invited the women to an early dinner.  I had a local sushi place picked out and I had eaten there before.  The translator immediately jumped in and said that it was not a good sushi place, but she knew a better one close by.  (Here comes the boom!) 

We went to a local Chinese restaurant.  I can no longer remember the name.  We were put in a private room, even though the place was empty.  After a meal of many courses, of which the translator ordered everything expensive she could from the menu – and ate like a sveenya – we left the restaurant – me $300 USD poorer.  I really felt sorry for my gal.  She had no idea that I knew that I was being used.  She was told that this was the way you got your American man.  They had lots of money, so even if you didn’t wind up together, the agency would pay a woman a small fee just for going on the date.  The translator then claimed I owed her one hundred US dollars for translation services (and also the cost of a taxi which over charged me by 50%).  The cost of my little excursion for the day wound up being around $500.00.  For my part, I was awarded a passionate kiss. 

But I couldn’t help compare my experience with my now departed girlfriend.  She had enlisted the help of a friend as a translator.  I took all of us out to dinner and drinks for around a $125 USD for the evening.  My date did immediately give me her Skype address and was planning to take me to play tennis the next day, but I bowed out after I got home.  I was missing my ex and I felt that I had (already) been played.





Here’s a picture of jone and his date.  The second picture is my date with the translator.   Mea culpa.  I didn’t have my heart in this one.  I did not dress up for the date.  Any future meetings I was dressed in very nice clothes and good shoes.  Don’t do as I did on this date.  Always dress up.

[fathertime]

Well Jone, that is a pleasant looking lady there...as bad a rap as Anastasia gets (they deserve it), I'm still convinced that certain men can do just fine with them.  When I used them in 2005 I was hooked up with a beautiful woman, not much different from the one you pictured....It was me that cut it short... many of the men were nice guys, but gullible boobs that were really clueless.... A good % of them wouldn't have known what to do with a woman had they actually scored one....they should have just stayed home.     


Anyway, lets here the rest of your story and pics are always welcome!  [size=78%]  [/size]


Fathertime! 

[fathertime]

Nice pics again Jone,


Yeah what a scam $500 dollars for a little freaking lunch....I'm a bit of a jerk sometimes, when I choose a woman and she showed up with a translator (unannounced) and told me she was charging $10 or 15 an hour for translating....I gave them money for a taxi ride back where they came from...and she was a good looking lady too. 


Fathertime! 

[lonedrake]

Jone,

 Thanks for stepping up to the plate. 

 Looking forward to the rest!

[ML]

Jone, thanks for sharing the stories.

But I couldn't believe it when you told of laying out the $500.

How do you survive in the business world?

[jone]

ML,

   I don't have any problem laying out $500 for a meal.  My disposable income is not too shabby.  And beside that, my double wide is already paid for. 

[jone]

A Life Event:  Chapter 3

The last you left me, I was sitting alone in my hotel room.  (I switched hotels.  The Tourist was much more accommodating to my dogs and still offered a tasty breakfast.)  My dreams of a marriage to a wonderful Ukrainian woman were destroyed by my inability to present myself on the day agreed upon, in Mykolaiv.

My first date subsequent to the death of my relationship ended with a sour taste in my mouth after being taken for a three hundred dollar meal and a hundred dollar translation bill.  The woman showed up on Skype, repeatedly, and attempted to engage me, but my heart was not in it and I certainly did not want to be the victim of Agency rip-off again.

I allowed a week to go by.  I met some of the locals and hooked up with Bubba Gump (an English teacher from another forum that I knew) for a meal at a swank restaurant.  We then later met with some of his students at McDonalds where I participated in an impromptu English lesson.   It was very enjoyable and he is a nice guy married to a local.  I also learned about some of the recent expat history of the area as well as places to go and see. 

Mykolaiv is a pretty city, but is so lacking in the key industry of ship building that many of the store fronts are rotted buildings and the community hangs on by an inconsequential feeder system of money coming through grain shipments.  I should point out that the gal that I first met actually had a job testing the grain moisture content.  But the moisture figures were so often manipulated by corruption, she was afraid to certify anything going out by ship.  Her direct boss, who I saw when I was there in April, was part of the scam and drove a car way above his means.  I am told that by altering the moisture content by the slightest amount could net the crooks in the system 35 to 40 thousand USD for a shipload of grain sent through the Bosporus Straight.

I have attached some pictures of life in Niko as well as the picture of the Lenin Statue that has now  been removed.  It was torn down the night of Leninfall.  I loved that statue.

The locals I met were beyond nice.  Everyone seemed to have a sister or a niece or a daughter that they wanted me to meet.  I explained in my poor Russian (I speak no Ukrainian) that I had just ended a relationship and was more interested in getting to know new friends, not women friends.  I rented a small sailboat and putzed up and down the river.  My dogs had never been through a thunderstorm and I had to console my fawn colored Min Pin, Iggy as he was terrified of the thunder.

Late in my week of recluse, the hotel was overrun by young kids, around the age of 10 – 16 who were in the city for a ‘football’ camp.  The Mykolaiv Stadium is right next to the hotel so this was a natural usage.

The kids soon figured out that I was an American.  I had escorts every time I would take the dogs for a walk as they all wanted to practice their English on me.  After all, why should they go to school for it, if they can’t use it.  When I told them I was from Los Angeles, their eyes got big.  The typical first words out were their favorite actors, and had I met them.  Most often it was Arnold. There were others.

Here are some pictures of Mykolaiv and my dogs at the river’s edge.



Prospect Lenin, the main street of Mykolaiv near the River.



The Football Stadium at Mykolaiv



Iggy and Charlie suffering through the summer heat.  Lucky they had the water to splash in.



Helena / Elena - My date from the previous week - on Skype



Bubba Gump and two of his English students whom I met at McDonalds.



Front and back of the local scenery



Iggy in front of a Lenin quote



This statue is no more

[jone]

I had a PM asking if I would consider showing a picture of the woman that I had dated over the holidays last year, whom I first had met when I went to Kharkiv.  Here are some pics that weren't on the MOB site:

[jone]

Hotels.com just sent me a special notification: 

Last year, Mykolaiv, at this time of the year was $60 - $70 per night for a visit to the Reikartz River hotel.  They are now selling rooms in there for $34 per night.  However, they did say it was advisable to have a Russian passport with you.  (Just kidding.)

[Hammer2722]

Hotels.com just sent me a special notification: 

Last year, Mykolaiv, at this time of the year was $60 - $70 per night for a visit to the Reikartz River hotel.  They are now selling rooms in there for $34 per night.  However, they did say it was advisable to have a Russian passport with you.  (Just kidding.)

In some time, you may not be too far from the truth! 

[jone]

Chapter 4, A New Hope?  (Sounds like a Star Wars Episode!)

Well, not really, I guess.  Let’s put it this way:  I knew that if I was to have any social life during the summer, I better get back on the horse. 

You all should know that there is some great Salsa dancing in Mykolaiv.  There are clubs you can go to.  And guys are not in abundance at these events.  I looked one up and went there to meet women and dance a couple of times this past summer.

I also found a friend.  Not through dancing, but through the internet.  For the purposes of this forum, I will call her Dasha.  That is not her real name.  But she is friends with a contributor on this forum, so I will not use her real name.

Dasha is beautiful.  She speaks only Russian, which I did not find to be a great problem.  She works as the receptionist in a hair salon and is finishing her degree in psychology.  She wants to be able to see and live in North America.  Right now she is concentrating on Canada as she thinks that the barriers to enter the US are too great.  She is 26.  She has a daughter who is 9.  (10 now, I would guess.)  The reality of life in Ukraine is that Dasha was married at 16 and had a baby at 17.   Her ex-husband is in the armed services of his country and I would suppose that he is currently in a position of risk. 

Dasha and I met for the first time near the Admiral’s statue in Admiral Makarova Park.  I was blown away by her beauty, but also could not believe how petite she was.  She is about 5’2” and, I would guess, around 90 pounds.  She has a little girl figure but is all woman.   While we conversed in Russian, she was constantly asking me what the English words were for different things and I could tell she was soaking it in.  Moreover, she said that she had to learn English as her daughter would soon be fluent and that the two of them could travel together.

If someone asked me to describe Dasha, I would say that she is someone who can easily express herself but is shy and not overly willing to do so.  I can imagine that many Russian/Ukrainian women qualify for such descriptions.  She reluctantly allowed me to take her picture, but most often hid behind her purse.

Dasha and I went out on a number of dates.  We would go for pizza or take the dogs for a walk.  Her daughter was with the daughter’s father’s family in the village where both mother and father were from.  She was there throughout the summer. 

After a series of dates, I knew that she was willing to explore our relationship further.  She hinted that it would be fun to go to Odessa together for a long weekend and I knew I had some decisions to make.

One of the more responsible things I have done in my life was to very carefully review her daughter’s relationship with her father.  Her daughter was very close to her father who was not only responsible, but a big part of her daughter’s life.  The logical conclusion that I had to face was that if I wanted Dasha, I had to figure that I would be living part of my life in Mykolaiv.  Was that so bad?  Absolutely not.  I loved the city.  Moreover, I could live like a prince on the meager income allotted me in this world.  What I could not do, however, is justifying such an existence to my own children, who, at college age, still are my responsibility.

The obvious decision that I made was that I could not entangle Dasha’s life with mine, knowing that dragging her to live with me in the United States would put undo hardship on her daughter’s and father’s relationship – if I could even get her father’s permission to take her to the US, which I doubted.

I made the cut cleanly and, sadly walked away.

Pictures:

Admirial Makarov in Admiral Makarov Park

Dasha with her purse and, finally, Dasha showing how beautiful she is.

[Anotherkiwi]

jone - nice story, and I'm looking forward to reading more.
 
Just one thing, which has been discussed often over the years - have all these women given you permission to post your photos of them on the internet?  There's a big difference between these and random street shots of pretty girls.

[CanadaMan]

I agree, this is a really good trip report! I'm looking forward to reading the rest of it. 

Jone, being the ever-so-curious guy and logical thinker that I am, the following two passages jumped out at me:

I arrived in Mykolaiv after my delay.  I had brought my two very small dogs with me as I was, for all practical purposes, moving to Ukraine.  While she met me, and (in theory) was with me in the apartment, she was never really with me.  She stated that she was a simple Ukrainian woman and that she could not understand my tardiness.  She accused me of seeing other women on the trip to Ukraine and that her relationship with me was subordinate to some fictitious one that she imagined.  No amount of reasoning would change her mind.  I was lost to her.

– we left the restaurant – me $300 USD poorer.  I really felt sorry for my gal.  She had no idea that I knew that I was being used.

 I can well understand the ADate beauty from Mykolaiv’s suspicions that you were seeing other women on your trip.
Why pray tell didn’t you immediately quell those suspicions and put her mind completely to rest by getting out your passport and showing her that you had just arrived in Ukraine?


For the second passage above, at what point exactly did you figure out you were being used? The way you wrote it, it sounds as if you knew before you ordered your food. If that was the case, why did you proceed with the dinner?
 

[jone]

Canada Man,

Any argument that I made, even with the help of her best friend, fell on deaf ears.  It was a very unfortunate situation, as I would have happily spent all summer long making it up to her.  She never gave me the chance.

RE:  Second lady - as soon as I knew she had an agency translator, I knew that I was being used as a mark.  But I also knew that if I had really wanted to break the lady away from the translator, I could have done so.  I was still reeling from my relationship.  My heart wasn't in it.  And, I could never see myself winding up with the woman Helena/Elena. 

Thanks for asking. 

[dogspot]

Thanks for the TR, jone.

A couple questions: First, what year did this trip take place? Second, Do you think the first gal might have had other reasons to end the relationship? For me, learning that her heart just wasn't in it would be acceptable. It would suck balls but I could accept it. But ending it for the reasons mentioned would be tough for me to swallow...and I would not have let her go so easily...especially after traveling to the other side of the earth to spend an entire summer WITH HER. Do you think maybe she just had a change of heart?

[alex330]

Yes, been a while since there was a good TR. Thanks for sharing buddy. Looks like we share the same stylist with the baggy jeans and button up shirt. 

Chinese for $300! Jeebus man, here in the US you can take out half the restaurant for that.

Unfortunate about the first woman. It seems that sometimes the smallest things can derail these relationships at times.

[jone]

Thanks for the TR, jone.

A couple questions: First, what year did this trip take place? Second, Do you think the first gal might have had other reasons to end the relationship? For me, learning that her heart just wasn't in it would be acceptable. It would suck balls but I could accept it. But ending it for the reasons mentioned would be tough for me to swallow...and I would not have let her go so easily...especially after traveling to the other side of the earth to spend an entire summer WITH HER. Do you think maybe she just had a change of heart?

DS - The trip took place between June and August 2013. 

Here's the rest of the story on the first gal:  We got an apartment.  Great place.  Would even take my dogs.  She was so excited to have the place - and I prepaid part of it - that on the date I was supposed to get there, she moved in.  She cleaned the refrigerator, the stove, bought towels.  And there I am stuck in America.  Slowly, not having me there, she just faded away until she really was disappointed. 

I think it was very hard for her to explain to her friends and her family why I wasn't there yet.  And I couldn't be specific as I moved my day of arrival back twice.  By the time I finally arrived, she was in a big stew and there was nothing I could do about it. 

I was heartbroken.  She was heartbroken.  But she was unwilling to budge, even with the wooing and effort that both I and her best friend were trying to make.

I guess things all work out for the best, although to my knowledge, she is still single. 

[Larry1]

Yes, been a while since there was a good TR.

It has been a while. I wonder why? I usually encourage guys to write TRs but most seem reluctant to do so.  The usual reason they give when I ask them why is that they don't want to take shots from the forum snipers. 

Unfortunate about the first woman. It seems that sometimes the smallest things can derail these relationships at times.

Yes, there are a thousand ways these relationships can get derailed.

[jone]

Chapter 5:  Tripping with the Chat Gals

Somewhere in my summer trip, I had a call from one of our buddies online here.  He suggested I take a friend of his out to dinner to get the inside scoop on being a chat gal.  While I had already met quite a few, the angle that he suggested I pursue was to not consider this gal someone that I would want to date, but to let her know that I knew quite a bit about the inner workings of an MOB agency and to have her confirm my worst fears and suspicions. 

So……. For the cost of a good sushi dinner, I was to set out in discovery of what goes through the mind of a woman who is on the other end of the computer while you are sitting in America or Canada or Denmark or Australia or Great Britain.

I called her up and confirmed that she wanted to have dinner.  She agreed and then surprised me by asking if she could bring a friend along.  The more the merrier as long as she wasn’t a TERP who I was to pay for.  For the sake of this report, we’ll call these girls Olga and Alyona.  They aren’t their real names.   Olga was 20 years old, blond and quite a real ‘chatty’ gal.  Outgoing!  I could tell, just by talking to her that we would get along well.  Moreover she spoke English with that sexy Eastern European accent.

I went to the same sushi place that I had taken my now ex-girlfriend back in April.  I wanted to create some different memories there that would displace those I had from earlier.  The two gals arrived about fifteen minutes late.  Breathless, they both came running in.  Alyona had just had another photo shoot done and there she was in all of her sexy finery, fully made up and looking pretty damn good.  Olga immediately took charge and asked me how old I thought Alyona was.  I guessed 26.  Both gals laughed.  She had just turned 18.  (I must really be getting old!)

Having been fore warned not to scam me, the gals immediately started pestering me for how much information I knew about the scams they were running.   I told them that I knew that the women were typically online only to make money, especially those under the age of 25.  They confirmed this by saying that they did not know anyone under that age who was not in it for the money.  I asked if it made ends meet.  Alyona confessed that she had only been operational for about three months and was making only $200 USD per month.  Olga was much more direct.  She said she had her own Western Union number (I never quite understood how having your own number helped) and that she made about $300 – $400 USD per month from the agency, but made around $600 from contributions through Western Union.  I asked if she considered this a full time job.  Both women said that it was only part time, but that they were looking for other employment. 

One thing people should know is that these gals work a particular market.  Olga works the West Coast of North America and Australia.  She is assigned regular hours by her agency.  By being online in the evening hours of both areas, she can typically expect the type of guy who will contact her.    They are drilled that they must be available consistently at those hours.  Understand that both women work from home.  Olga has a side job babysitting dogs and offered to watch mine if I decided to take any trips.  Somehow I saw my dogs as being held hostage while someone delivered me a ransom bone and I declined the invitation.

Olga also shared with me that her (former) agency was abusive and withheld money from her.  I asked her how much and she said that it was about a month of income.  She had then left the agency and was now working with another one.

The obvious questions, like, you are ripping people off, playing with their emotions, don’t you feel guilty?  I never asked those.  They see this as a job.  Olga sees herself as being particularly good at it.  After the evening was over, and the bill was paid:  About $80.00 for a good sushi dinner.  Not $300 for Chinese…  The gals invited me to come out and listen to music over the next couple of weeks.  We all exchanged Skype addresses, but, somehow I knew that I would never contact them again.  As nice as they were, I felt dirty when I left.    I felt as if I had spent the evening with two leeches.  Albeit very beautiful ones.

As part of this series, I happened one day, at a Children’s Park in honor of Pushkin, to see an agency photo shoot.  They really are quite common.  But I had my camera with me so I shot the shoot, so to speak.  Notice the woman behind the photographer.  She is seeing angles and running the investment for the agency.  Remember that a great profile will make the agency $1000 a month.  Gotta do these things right.   

Well, this is the end of the interlude.  Back to the trip in the next chapter.

Agency Photoshoot:

[BillyB]

The obvious questions, like, you are ripping people off, playing with their emotions, don’t you feel guilty?  I never asked those.

You should've told those lady's you don't approve of their mind games. Don't let the power of the bush hold you back. Fathertime has got it right.

I'm a bit of a jerk sometimes, when I choose a woman and she showed up with a translator (unannounced) and told me she was charging $10 or 15 an hour for translating....I gave them money for a taxi ride back where they came from...

Sending insincere people home is not being a jerk.