Have her friends affected the relationship?

[Larry1]

I came across the article which I have excerpted here.  It reports on a study that shows that divorce seems to be contagious:

Forget about the flu that has been going around – there is something else that is contagious and could put your marriage in jeopardy.

As CBS 2’s Tracee Carrasco reported, a study from Brown University suggested that divorce is contagious, and the divorce of a friend or loved-one increases your chances of getting divorced too. The study, conducted in Framingham, Mass., found that 75 percent of participants were more likely to get divorced if a friend was divorced, and 33 percent were more likely to end their marriage even if a friend of a friend got divorced.

Researchers called the phenomenon a “social contagion” – the spread of information, attitudes and behaviors through friends, family and social networks.

http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2014/04/30/new-study-says-divorce-can-be-contagious/

That made me wonder about the broader question of how a FSUW's friends have affected the relationship.  I have seen firsthand how a girl's friends can have a harmful effect on her relationship.  And I have talked to married guys whose wives have some friends who are people you wouldn't want to influence her.

What are your thoughts about this?

[BillyB]

a study from Brown University suggested that divorce is contagious

I'm not sure I'd say divorce is contagious. Like minded people tend to flock together.

I have seen firsthand how a girl's friends can have a harmful effect on her relationship.

It's not good to be an outsider and be harmful to someone's marriage. We seen that a few times on the forum. When things get tough, divorce seems to be the advice given by a few. I had a friend who was contemplating divorce and he told me all the problems that he's had to go through with his wife. I didn't give him any encouragement to get a divorce, just gave him advice to do everything possible to save his marriage. After 5 years of zero sex, I have to say he tried harder than most guys would to save his marriage which ended in divorce.

[ML]

I believe there is quite a bit of truth in what the article states.

Here is the scenario I have seen.

A guy or gal is recently divorced, or is in divorce proceedings, etc.

At casual settings, coffee room, having a drink after work, etc., someone mentions how they are a little ticked at their husband or wife about such and such.

The recently divorced person will usually quickly say . . . I wouldn't put up with that.

This small beginning starts the second person on their way to thinking they should not put up with such and such.

It also is related to the old saying that 'misery loves company.'

Divorced persons might subconsciously try to sabotage  other relationships.

My father always cautioned me to stay away from pessimistic persons . . . it can be contagious. 

Same idea here.

[Gator]

That made me wonder about the broader question of how a FSUW's friends have affected the relationship.  I have seen firsthand how a girl's friends can have a harmful effect on her relationship.  And I have talked to married guys whose wives have some friends who are people you wouldn't want to influence her.

What are your thoughts about this?

You can not choose friends for your wife.  So it is better to choose a wife who would not have such friends. 

Not a small number of negative, mean spirited Russians reside in America.  They can not derive joy from someone else's happiness and instead want to drag others down to their level of misery (as ML says, "misery loves company"). 

This large element of negative Russian people (and Americans too) are likened to a bucket of crabs.  If one crab manages to get near the top of the bucket so as to escape, the others will pull it back.

A RW wife will likely encounter these negative Russians somewhere (language classes, Russian food store, social events, etc.).  Positive RW will not socialize with negative RW.  So choose optimistic RW.    They will not want to be around misery and will gravitate towards those who are fun, friendly, positive and encouraging. 

[TheTraveler]

Not a small number of negative, mean spirited Russians reside in America.  They can not derive joy from someone else's happiness and instead want to drag others down to their level of misery (as ML says, "misery loves company"). 

amen, brother!

[Patagonie]

You can not choose friends for your wife.  So it is better to choose a wife who would not have such friends. 

Not a small number of negative, mean spirited Russians reside in America.  They can not derive joy from someone else's happiness and instead want to drag others down to their level of misery (as ML says, "misery loves company"). 

This large element of negative Russian people (and Americans too) are likened to a bucket of crabs.  If one crab manages to get near the top of the bucket so as to escape, the others will pull it back.

A RW wife will likely encounter these negative Russians somewhere (language classes, Russian food store, social events, etc.).  Positive RW will not socialize with negative RW.  So choose optimistic RW.    They will not want to be around misery and will gravitate towards those who are fun, friendly, positive and encouraging.

Choose an emotionnaly stable woman, optimistic, is a key to complete an happy relationship.

Larry, i already told you that you have to consider also that some personnalities cannot fix their feelings for too long, especially with those long distance relationships which are the characteristic of a cross cultural dating. Especially one personality, which in the DSM IV M is known as histrionic, type histrionic with google and you will have in half hour a true picture of what is it.