A Marital Dispute

[Larry1]

I came across this letter to an advice columnist at slate.com:

Q. Is It Just Dinner?: My new husband (one-month married) is going to dinner with the woman he had an affair with during his first marriage. I think that this is risky behavior. He says that there is nothing going on, and he wants to her see again because they were once very close. He says that nothing is going to happen, and I am being ridiculous. He thinks I am being controlling...

You can read the advice columnist's answer here, but you'll have to scroll down to the second Q & A.

http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence
/2015/07/dear_prudence_my_wife_is_choosing
_her_son_over_my_kids_for_vacation.html

I'm with the wife on this one.  What are your thoughts?

Here is a related international relationship question. The couple is in a committed relationship leading to marriage. The guy asks his girlfriend not to go dancing with guys at clubs. She says she won't stop going to clubs to dance with guys. What are your thoughts?

[alex330]

Total lack of respect by the party in both questions presented.

[2tallbill]

Here is a related international relationship question. The couple is in a committed relationship leading to marriage. The guy asks his girlfriend not to go dancing with guys at clubs. She says she won't stop going to clubs to dance with guys. What are your thoughts?

My thoughts are that they aren't on the same page and that they aren't really in a
committed relationship leading to marriage and they don't have the trust/commitment 
needed to be even considering marriage. I don't know the ages of the man or the
girl but I would assume the girl is less than 25 years old and probably not ready for
this type of relationship.

[2tallbill]

I'm with the wife on this one.  What are your thoughts?

I think the advice from the columnist is stupid. I have no idea why a newly married
guy wants to meet an old flame for dinner, and further he was willing to leave his
new wife over her.

The guy has unfinished business and never should have gotten married. I can't
imagine a scenario where this would be a good idea. What situation would I ever
be in where I needed to meet a girl for dinner who I previously boinked alone
without my wife present? 

[HoundDaddyLee]

Wow, the guy threatens to leave his new wife because she is uncomfortable with him meeting a former lover? If there is truly nothing going on, then she should be invited to the dinner also. The advise columnist is a twit!


HDL

[ML]

What situation would I ever
be in where I needed to meet a girl for dinner who I previously boinked alone without my wife present?

Yes, it's always better to boink another woman 'with' your wife present.

[2tallbill]

Yes, it's always better to boink another woman 'with' your wife present.

For sure it is! she can push on your butt!

[BillyB]

The wife has a right to be concerned but what was the wife doing marrying a man she knew had an affair on his ex wife? Did she think things would be different?

[Boethius]

Having lunch or dinner is not really the issue.  I agree with the advice columnist, that his reaction was the bigger problem.