Why not to date Ukrainian women

[Jumper]

I know some expats who said they never felt so good about a move from west to fsu. Surrounded by beautiful women, no pressure to get married in a rush, you can date, spend years with the same woman before deciding whether she is good for you. I wouldn't want to raise my kids in russia past 16 years old, let them do their A levels, and go to university back in UK. I know there are guys eager to save up money to live off the passive income from their investments and setup in fsu.

Many relationships breaking down after 4 years together, makes you think the marriages that stick it out because of kids. Average sex in marriages is 3 times per month, now imagine if you have a rocky marriage because you got married too quick, and your fsuw doesn't love you because you didn't live up to her expectations. I am going to get married, but my plan with my ex was to spend a year or 2 year with her in person, but if i am living as an expat, ideally i would like to spend 5 before marriage and kids. There is really no rush for a guy under 40. As long as you keep yourself fit, save and invest, age is a mans best friend,not a woman's.

I'm not saying living there couldn't be interesting for an
adventurous man with outside the country income.
He would not lack female interest.

Having lived there, I will say you don't understand the culture there.
A good girl dating someone 5 years before marriage?
She'd endure 4.5 years of family and friends sincerely telling her you had 32 mistress's on the side as reason for your overly cold feet, and to move on to a serious man. The *semi-wealthy* foreigner bit would only solidify this in their minds.
 

[Jumper]

Jumper, lighten up a bit.

Didn't you recognize what I was doing . . . in some of my remarks?  :-)

LOL I've never been that serious here.
 and yes I was reasonably certain you wouldn't lock your wife up 24/7






....
 I mean she has to do the dishes  sometime?

 

[dragonkid]

I'm not saying living there couldn't be interesting for an
adventurous man with outside the country income.
He would not lack female interest.

Having lived there, I will say you don't understand the culture there.
A good girl dating someone 5 years before marriage?
She'd endure 4.5 years of family and friends sincerely telling her you had 32 mistress's on the side as reason for your overly cold feet, and to move on to a serious man. The *semi-wealthy* foreigner bit would only solidify this in their minds.

I guess if i went to a woman on a first date, said to her, look i am really cautious about marriage, we will need to sign a prenup, and i would ideally like to spend around 5 years before getting married, she will run for the hills if she is legit.Yes, it is very difficult, larry told me of someone who started the move at my age, and is with the same person for 6 years now without getting married. I think once both parties invest a lot in a relationship it is really hard to cut the relationship off, my dad describes it like a tree, the trunk gets harder to cut down as time passes. I am not sure what will happen in reality, it is hard to judge who i will meet, but i tend to be cautious if i feel like i have options. I told my parents the same thing, sometimes you know the woman is not right, but what other choice do you have? Some guys get hitched out of desperation, to a woman they know isn't right for them.


Regarding the expat thing, i been in russia for a total of 1 month, and towards the end it got very tiresome.My ex was working, i was just walking around in a town i didn't like much. I have some plans on what i would like to do in russia to keep myself busy. The thing that worries me the most is how i will keep myself busy there.

[JayH]

 I have some plans on what i would like to do in russia to keep myself busy. The thing that worries me the most is how i will keep myself busy there.

Do what you do now-- spend your time writing crap on the internet!

[John of Hesperia]

Do what you do now-- spend your time writing crap on the internet!

Reply of the day!~

[Anotherkiwi]

Regarding the expat thing, i been in russia for a total of 1 month, and towards the end it got very tiresome.My ex was working, i was just walking around in a town i didn't like much. I have some plans on what i would like to do in russia to keep myself busy. The thing that worries me the most is how i will keep myself busy there.

Do what you do now-- spend your time writing crap on the internet!

DK - just how old are you? 14?  "I was just walking around..." sounds just like the standard surly teenager on a holiday with his family, away from his friends and the comfort of the local skate park or cinema, or wherever else he spends his time.  So what if you didn't like the town much?  You've blathered on about becoming an expat, shacking up with some hot girl and MAYBE marrying her after six years, yet you get an opportunity to see what it MIGHT be like and totally give up!  Where would you expect to be, if not in a city just like that one?  I have news for you - while there are of course exceptions, many Russian cities are similar to wherever you were.

"Oh, woe is me...I dunno what to do!  I'M BORED!!!"

You were there with this girl you describe as your ex, who had to work to (presumably) keep a roof over her head.  This left you lots of time to explore the city (even if you didn't like the city itself very much, there's ALWAYS something in every city that you can find to like) and maybe even the surrounding area, but what did you do?  You moped around all day, and waited for her to come home and hold your hand and tell you how wonderful you were.  Why didn't you try to find the local skate park (or whatever else is the equivalent of what you do at home)?  Why not just spend a day (or a week) getting on buses or trams just to see where they went - and maybe finding an amazing park, or some really cool-looking buildings, or just SOMETHING?

You've talked about learning the language - why not find a language school while you were there?  Who knows - you might have been able to surprise your ex with some really neat stuff that you had learnt that day.  From what you've posted, you come from a quite well-off (maybe even wealthy) family, and I would guess that you've never had to work very hard at anything before.  This is an endeavour that requires really hard work if you're going to succeed - and making smart-arse comments, and taking cheap shots at people who have spent years finding the right person for themselves, is not going to endear you to anybody - not just members of this forum.

Have you ever heard of Netiquette?  If you haven't, look it up.  Try to apply some to your future posts, and people might begin to take you a bit more seriously, and possibly even try to help again (as they have in the past, even if you were too egotistical to believe that anyone else knew more than you about anything).

[Boethius]

I told my parents the same thing, sometimes you know the woman is not right, but what other choice do you have? Some guys get hitched out of desperation, to a woman they know isn't right for them.

You always have a choice.


If what is important to you is nothing beyond physical beauty, then yes, at some point, the relationship will fail, because, as I have posted before, the inevitable result of two clay creatures coming together is dust.

[msmobyone]

You never have to worry about an FSUW suffering in silence. Or giving you the silent
treatment rather than telling you what's wrong.

Beel,

That might apply to most FSUW but V's attitude was I should know  - if she was giving me the silent treatment 

[dragonkid]

even if you were too egotistical to believe that anyone else knew more than you about anything

let me reassess on some of the things i was taught here

• women want money only, more money you have, the better the women you can buy, no woman can resist money.
• go for divorced women
• women want bad boys, which is why i do so well (I still laugh at this)
• Traditional dating sites are garbage, i should join travelgirls, a site where you meet women that say they are not escorts, but you know they are
• Western women are bad, FSUW are the best. The only thing i noticed is FSUW can be very cold at times, i know of a few girls that are cheating on their foreign bfs, you really never truly know a fsuw till you lived with her for a long period of time. I believe men should be more cautious dating someone abroad, than a local woman

Plenty of people know more than me, but i feel like i know more than some of the guys on here, i am an open thinker. For example , i can talk to some of the posters in here, and what they say, sounds logical, they don't shy away from the truth, or live in denial. I would happily listen to them, take what they have to say, and think about it. You can talk to them openly, and they won't scream some illogical bs to try and make themselves look good, or feel better. Lots of people have years of experience, but if you learn nothing from your mistakes, just means you are damaged.

This left you lots of time to explore the city (even if you didn't like the city itself very much, there's ALWAYS something in every city that you can find to like) and maybe even the surrounding area

I think you missed the point i made, towards the end. I went out everyday, explored what her city had to offer, it was nice, but it wasn't exactly st Petersburg, eventually you see everything, and want to do something more than just explore a city.  All i did was point out that an expat might want to have some hobbies or things to do to kill time,i didn't expect you to act like a little girl.

You've talked about learning the language - why not find a language school while you were there?

I am going to enroll on a student visa and study russian, i don't want to be in and out of Russia like a yo-yo.

waited for her to come home and hold your hand and tell you how wonderful you were.

You took the line from me  Well i did go to her city to get to know her, she wanted to take time off, but she was new to the job, and i didn't want her to give off the wrong impression. That being said , the next time we were meant to meet, it was going to be Greece.


Anyways, because you like personal attacks, i noticed you were very eager to defend men that date women far younger than themselves. Explains why you have had to put in plenty hardwork over the last 5 years you been on here, god knows when your search actually began. You may benefit from actually going for women closer to your age bracket, save you a lot of "hardwork".

[dragonkid]

You always have a choice.


If what is important to you is nothing beyond physical beauty, then yes, at some point, the relationship will fail, because, as I have posted before, the inevitable result of two clay creatures coming together is dust.

If that was the case, i wouldn't have met my ex, she wasn't the prettiest girl that i was talking to. Yet i was attracted to her, and liked what i heard. I have a base idea on what i want physically from a woman, i am not stupid enough to get married out of physical attraction. Date, maybe, i lose nothing dating a physically attractive woman, but marriage never, i know that looks fade, but love grows. If i get married, do i expect the woman i married to initially to look the same 20 years down the line? No, but i do expect to have 20 years of solid memories, in a loving marriage.

That being said, just like many others who don't want to admit, i won't get into a relationship with someone i have no physical attraction over. Majority of men here find fsuw attractive, they have a base idea on what their physical desire is, and then seek out the ones who best meet their emotional needs. I have done the same in the past, initially i would never consider a woman who couldn't speak fluent English, as i believed it wasn't possible to connect deeply with a woman unless she could speak fluent English. I let go of the english requirements, as i found out it is possible to connect with someone.

[LiveFromUkraine]

If that was the case, i wouldn't have met my ex, she wasn't the prettiest girl that i was talking to. Yet i was attracted to her, and liked what i heard. I have a base idea on what i want physically from a woman, i am not stupid enough to get married out of physical attraction. Date, maybe, i lose nothing dating a physically attractive woman, but marriage never, i know that looks fade, but love grows. If i get married, do i expect the woman i married to initially to look the same 20 years down the line? No, but i do expect to have 20 years of solid memories, in a loving marriage.

That being said, just like many others who don't want to admit, i won't get into a relationship with someone i have no physical attraction over. Majority of men here find fsuw attractive, they have a base idea on what their physical desire is, and then seek out the ones who best meet their emotional needs. I have done the same in the past, initially i would never consider a woman who couldn't speak fluent English, as i believed it wasn't possible to connect deeply with a woman unless she could speak fluent English. I let go of the english requirements, as i found out it is possible to connect with someone.

I don't think that is what Bo meant.  Being attracted to someone isn't a bad thing.  You can't build a relationship around it.  There needs to be something of substance as a foundation.   Attraction is just the beginning.  After that, you spend time and figure out if there is something more.   


One of my longest relationships started with a woman that I didn't even look at as a partner.  Don't get me wrong, she was pretty,  just not my typical type.  The more I got to know her the more I was attracted to her and we ended up being together for quite some time.

[Anotherkiwi]

let me reassess on some of the things i was taught here

• women want money only, more money you have, the better the women you can buy, no woman can resist money.

Not here you weren't.  Nobody (amongst the regular posters, anyway) ever advocates this.

• go for divorced women

At your age?    I know there are plenty of FSUW divorced before they're 20, but that's still only a drop in the total pool.

• women want bad boys, which is why i do so well (I still laugh at this)

Someone is probably still having a laugh if you considered taking this seriously.  How many relationships with bad boys REALLY last?

• Traditional dating sites are garbage, i should join travelgirls, a site where you meet women that say they are not escorts, but you know they are

That one I do remember seeing.  I'm glad you realised so quickly that your chain was being yanked.

• Western women are bad, FSUW are the best.

Plenty of embittered divorced men have thumped this particular drum.  It doesn't make it true.  FSU women are just as likely to be "bad" when it comes to a divorce - ask some of the posters here who have married and divorced both types.

...you really never truly know a fsuw any woman till you lived with her for a long period of time. I believe men should be more cautious dating someone abroad, than a local woman

Agree with both of those, as should everyone.

Plenty of people know more than me, but i feel like i know more than some of the guys on here, i am an open thinker.

Doesn't matter how you feel.  Any half-decent observation you make is ruined by the next piece of idiocy - quite often in the same paragraph.

For example , i can talk to some of the posters in here, and what they say, sounds logical, they don't shy away from the truth, or live in denial. I would happily listen to them, take what they have to say, and think about it. You can talk to them openly, and they won't scream some illogical bs to try and make themselves look good, or feel better. Lots of people have years of experience, but if you learn nothing from your mistakes, just means you are damaged.

That sounds good, but it's not what you practise.  You make the occasional reasonable point, but then spoil it by continuing to make sweeping generalisations about things you really know nothing, or very little about.

I think you missed the point i made, towards the end.

No, I didn't miss that point.

I went out everyday, explored what her city had to offer, it was nice, but it wasn't exactly st Petersburg, eventually you see everything, and want to do something more than just explore a city. All i did was point out that an expat might want to have some hobbies or things to do to kill time,

Do you have any real hobbies at home, apart from spending so much time on this forum?  Could you not transfer those interests to Russia?

i didn't expect you to act like a little girl.

It's not me that's acting like a little girl, dragonkid - take a good long look in the mirror.

I am going to enroll on a student visa and study russian, i don't want to be in and out of Russia like a yo-yo.

Why not study in London first?  I'm assuming that funding won't be a problem, with all your schemes and ideas, so why not get a decent grounding in the language before you go to live there?  If you're really serious about becoming an expat, I imagine that it would be better if you could wow the girls in Russian, don't you?

Anyways, because you like personal attacks, i noticed you were very eager to defend men that date women far younger than themselves. Explains why you have had to put in plenty hardwork over the last 5 years you been on here, god knows when your search actually began. You may benefit from actually going for women closer to your age bracket, save you a lot of "hardwork".

I'm not defending or attacking anyone.  All I have done is point out that, if the woman is old enough to make her own choices, then she should be allowed to do so.  If that involves dating someone old enough to be her father, then so be it.  Personal opinions of morality don't come into it because it's nobody's business except for the parties involved.  I'm not for a moment condoning the sort of nonsense that agency girls get involved in - I'm referring simply to what is potentially a real relationship.
 
As for my own search - once again you've shoved your foot into your mouth because you DON'T know somebody's story.  Apart from the fact that you don't know me, and don't know how old I am, you also obviously haven't read all the posts I've made over these last few years stating quite clearly what age group I'm looking at.  I'll give you a pass on that, because I wouldn't expect any newbie to troll through thousands of posts just to find that particular gem of information - heck, it would take me hours to find it myself.  [/list]

[52topps]

>If you want a FSUW to stick to you....

I’ve been married to a Ukrainian woman for over 16 years, did exactly the opposite of what you just recommended.  Gave my wife complete freedom to do whatever the hell she wants to do, helped her get a college education (helped her on her homework and thesis!) and helped her to start her own business.  We have 2 children together and have a great loving relationship, I trust her 100% with finances and everything else as well.  She is 15 years younger than me but we have no age related issues.  I’ve seen marriages where one spouse tried to control the other end up in divorce when the one being controlled had their resentment build-up to the breaking point, my wife and I respect each other’s choices and differences, we each have family responsibilities, but we support each other and our children, everything is in harmony, and death will be the only thing that will separate us, make your choices wisely, as Abraham Lincoln once said, “those who deny freedom to others, deserve it not for themselves”


If I find a woman from this region I am going to help her get her life started with me and encourage her to do her thing. I am not going to control her or be restrictive in any way. I want her to succeed, although we won't have kids.

[Boethius]

krimster's situation is rather different. He lived in Ukraine. He married there. He owned a successful business there. His child was born there. He decided, for  a variety of reasons, to move back to the U.S. 

[krimster2]

I left Ukraine because I was tired of living in an environment of human degradation, “shame is the baseline of existence in Ukraine”, I wanted something better for my family...