Have any of you guys ever heard of "No More Mr. Nice Guy" (NMMNG) -Robert Glover

[Dolmetscher007]

A response to my most recent post on this forum made me really think about my motivation for meeting a lady from another country, and I wanted to see if any of you guys might be familiar with some of the ideas I've read about along the way.  I'm sure you've all heard about the "Pill" people... i.e. Red Pill / Blue Pill stuff online. If you go down enough online rabbit holes you will discover a whole sub-culture of men... talking with each other online about women and the ongoing masculinity crisis that's been gaining steam ever since, around the 1960s... (depending on who you ask).

So... anyway... I don't get into all the deep deep stuff about MGTOW or Incels. I don't even know much about the Red/Blue Pill stuff. But... about 20 years ago, I did read a book by Dr. Robert Glover, called No More Mr. Nice Guy. If you haven't read the book, I'd highly recommend it. Even if you aren't really having any relationship problems, I still think it should be required reading for any "western" male. It deals with all kinds of gobbligook thinking that we do here in the the US, Western Europe, and Australia. I'm sure some countries (i.e. the US) are worse about it than others.

If you are familiar with this book, I am a 100% "Nice Guy."  For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about... "Nice Guy Syndrome" is a term coined by the author to describe the behavior of some (many) men. Basically... to over-simplify... a "Nice Guy" is a guy who thinks of himself as a thoroughly good person. He loves women, and does everything in his power to be kind, sympathetic, and understanding. He tells himself that he's "not like other guys." Whereas other guys are often jerks or assholes... he's always... well... nice. And then the book goes on to explain how this type of behavior is like Kryptonite to healthy vaginas... and that no woman wants a Nice Guy... and that it is all just misguided thinking brought on by a society that became too influenced by feminism and little boys being raised by their mothers... almost 100% female teachers... and learning at an early age that the only way to have a "good life" is by pleasing at least some woman.

One thing I'm wondering is... I can TOTALLY imagine that a ton of these "Nice Guys" get fed up with women... (misguided, because it is not the women who are at fault, but... whatever). So they turn to looking at FSU countries, because the women in these countries "act right!" and will appreciate a "Nice Guy."

But... I can't help but think that this is like jumping from the frying pan into the flames for most "Nice Guys," because the FSU women can spot a limp dick "Nice Guy" from a mile away, and they will shred him! Absolutely S H R E D him.

Does anyone know this kind of stuff?

[ML]

But... I can't help but think that this is like jumping from the frying pan into the flames for most "Nice Guys," because the FSU women can spot a limp dick "Nice Guy" from a mile away, and they will shred him! Absolutely S H R E D him.

I haven't read anything about the items/theories you mentioned above.

But I can state this:
1) I am a 'nice guy' when it comes to treating women.
2) But I don't tolerate any B.S. from the women and drop them at the first hint of such.

This combination served its purpose for me in having good relations with dozens of FSU gals.

[Trenchcoat]

A response to my most recent post on this forum made me really think about my motivation for meeting a lady from another country, and I wanted to see if any of you guys might be familiar with some of the ideas I've read about along the way.  I'm sure you've all heard about the "Pill" people... i.e. Red Pill / Blue Pill stuff online. If you go down enough online rabbit holes you will discover a whole sub-culture of men... talking with each other online about women and the ongoing masculinity crisis that's been gaining steam ever since, around the 1960s... (depending on who you ask).

So... anyway... I don't get into all the deep deep stuff about MGTOW or Incels. I don't even know much about the Red/Blue Pill stuff. But... about 20 years ago, I did read a book by Dr. Robert Glover, called No More Mr. Nice Guy. If you haven't read the book, I'd highly recommend it. Even if you aren't really having any relationship problems, I still think it should be required reading for any "western" male. It deals with all kinds of gobbligook thinking that we do here in the the US, Western Europe, and Australia. I'm sure some countries (i.e. the US) are worse about it than others.

If you are familiar with this book, I am a 100% "Nice Guy."  For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about... "Nice Guy Syndrome" is a term coined by the author to describe the behavior of some (many) men. Basically... to over-simplify... a "Nice Guy" is a guy who thinks of himself as a thoroughly good person. He loves women, and does everything in his power to be kind, sympathetic, and understanding. He tells himself that he's "not like other guys." Whereas other guys are often jerks or assholes... he's always... well... nice. And then the book goes on to explain how this type of behavior is like Kryptonite to healthy vaginas... and that no woman wants a Nice Guy... and that it is all just misguided thinking brought on by a society that became too influenced by feminism and little boys being raised by their mothers... almost 100% female teachers... and learning at an early age that the only way to have a "good life" is by pleasing at least some woman.

One thing I'm wondering is... I can TOTALLY imagine that a ton of these "Nice Guys" get fed up with women... (misguided, because it is not the women who are at fault, but... whatever). So they turn to looking at FSU countries, because the women in these countries "act right!" and will appreciate a "Nice Guy."

But... I can't help but think that this is like jumping from the frying pan into the flames for most "Nice Guys," because the FSU women can spot a limp dick "Nice Guy" from a mile away, and they will shred him! Absolutely S H R E D him.

Does anyone know this kind of stuff?

I've never read the book but I've heard the concept around over time mostly on the internet here & there.

Yeah I mean I think there is something to it in regards to men and their relationship to women in general the world over. One of the things I read along the way that often a guy who does the 'nice' routine is not really nice but just acting that way because he believes it will curry favour with the women. Women pick up on this maybe subconsciously and it turns them off, the guy may be seen as deceitful or weak, possibly only being nice to offset some deficiency somewhere or just sucking up to a pretty girl out of his league.

I think though that is one aspect of relationships it's not the whole entirety upon which relationships operate. There is more at play than a guy going into nice mode and screwing it up. For example is he a fat ugly dude of little means who is trying to score with a young athletic pretty hottie girl. In such an example if he brings nothing to the table he is unlikely to succeed whether he is nice or not in my opinion.

Why a guy is 'nice' may vary off course. In many families in England, China and other parts of the world politeness is seen as a necessity and taught to kids from a young age. Some sections of society may not be taught so well on that but many our, some people of course go overboard. In general in many societies a certain level of politeness is required to land many jobs so someone who is not polite won't get very far in the selection process if that lack of politeness shows up. Hence to sone extent being 'nice' is kind of enforced on a lot of society. If you get a job in a Supermarket when young you have to be 'nice' to the customers or your job may not last long. In school as you have said teachers teach the importance of such and behaviour adjustment goes on it is fair to say. I would say myself that while I don't set out to be horrible in life growing up and in the workplace being nice is kind of almost a false persons you have to go along with. I wouldn't say I'm not nice or wish to be horrible but is the persona I display in work really me or just what is expected of me and everyone else in the workplace.

I think as far as relationships are concerned some Ukrainian girls I have messaged fall into the nice category themselves, whether they actually are who knows again I think people are a bundle of many random traits so people aren't usually one dimensional but multi-faceted. So they might seem nice but have bad aspects  that are not necessarily immediately apparent.

In the past yeah for sure I've tried to be nice to women I am interested in or dated but to be honest I think a lot of nice girls don't really suit me and 'nice' is not really the real me. Kind of like I've suppressed the real me over time to function in society and fit what was required. I tend to find girls that are nice all the time as potentially boring. I myself don't really like being too nice to FSW these days as it's trying to fit into a mould that is not really quite me. Again it's not that I want to be horrible to FSW but more myself, my real self. Better I think these days to find a FSW that would fit with the real me rather than going on being nice to the wrong woman who is also nice.

So I don't think it's a case of treating FSW badly, being a jerk or nasty or anything just really being more the real you, speaking your mind and letting your mind lead the way and either the woman will like the real you or she won't but then you can move on. Some dating guru's will say you should be this or that way instead of being nice but I think getting in touch with the real you is probably more important. That I think is difficult in the west as like I say people expect certain behaviours and then stuff like feminism societally trying to control people to act and think a certain way.

I think those that likely act the most like their true selves are probably in social housing as they need do little to please anyone. Other than that it's quite wealthy people, people who are wealthy enough or high enough up the career ladder that can say it do as they think and not give a damn within reason of course. Soon for example I will likely not have to work my job and will be able to chuck it in and live of rental income from my house. That means I will have a lot more scope to be who I am at heart and not have to do a job and be pleasant to all and sundry. I've got no inclination to be horrible to anyone or take anything out on anyone, just more natural.

Anyhow so yeah with FSW I think there are the nice boring types that would put me to sleep and the girls who are a bit more open to a guy who is not so nice. Scammers and real bad girls aside I think for sure some girls don't want a guy who is Mr nice guy, they would probably find him boring and possibly even weak and easily taken. I'm personally drifting more towards just doing what the hell I like in the FSU and the women can either get with me and the way I really am or walk, note again by that I don't mean anything psycho or anything.

So I think in your case Dol I would really try and touch base with who you are, is a nice guy really all there is to you? Or has like most people in the west your personality been suppressed. If so I think that can be detrimental when meeting FSW as yeah you could be seen as weak and easily taken and not much to you. So I think if a nice guy really is you then sift and sort out the same kind of persona online from FSW. A kind of straight laced type, talks about serious down to earth stuff, non racy, etc, etc.

[Trenchcoat]

Just thinking on this more I think the type of society has a lot of influence also. In Belarus being nice will likely go down better. A woman I met in Minsk there didn't take too well to my sense of humour in one of the messages I sent, think I was making light hearted fun at something. Anyhow I back peddled a bit and all was ok, went out to meet her, she made a point that I should leave tips, a few coins etc nothing grandiose. The first girl I met in Kyiv meanwhile who was from Mariupol was more into pointing out that I need not leave tips lol. So it depends on culture and the girl I think. However in general I would say, particularly for Ukraine being a nice to a girl is more often a mistake. From what I've picked up along the way it's more the type of place for a guy to satisfy himself. In the west stuff like that tends to be seen as bad but out that way it's really more the done thing. Being considerate towards the girl isn't really the done way as has been said in another thread is a male macho patriarchal culture so it's outlook is much different than in the west.

Belarus has always given me the impression that it's like the 1950s in terms of culture in the west. More kind of housewife about the house doing domestic chores and sticking to female things. There's that kind of boredom of things being a bit too mundane and basic unexciting but it's more likely to produce a steady woman. Not saying there isn't a more racy element but no so much like Ukraine. Ukraine gives me almost like a speakeasy type of culture, more fun & random and where you're better off not being a straight laced type too much, not too much of a nice guy but ready to kick back and be the worst male chauvinist you can be lol. I would say if anything from what I've seen it pays to not be too good out there. If you're a 100 percent nice guy as you claim to be and don't want to be anything other Dol then I would definitely stick to Belarus if I were you as I think the women there would better suit you. I wouldn't look for a girl in Ukraine as I think many there prefer a guy who is not so nice as they are the guts they see as getting on. My guess is that the girls largely don't care about a guy being nice out there too much but more about whether he is a winner in life or can at least get something by almost any means. So yeah nice guy in Belarus I think you will be ok, nice guy in Ukraine I think as you put it they will Shred you!

[krimster2]

I’m not a person who has pursued titles in the “self-help” section of the bookstore…
but I think the “nice guy syndrome” is mislabeled
it should be the guys “with a lack of self-confidence” syndrome instead…

these guys allow their desperation to blind them to when wimmin are just using them…
in the hope that these manipulative wimmin are gonna change their behavior towards them
if they do what these wimmin want them to do....
BIG MISTAKE!!!

the best thing to do with this kinda woman is to simply forget them….

If you want success with wimmin
the first step is to be a success yourself!!

have your own business
make a boatload of money
be “high status”

this turns you into a magnet
and the wimmin are like a piece of iron
makes life so much easier

the FSU will “magnify” your success even further
cuz “perception is reality”

when I was your age I dated 20 yr olds in kyiv
and married a 26 yr old
there was nothing difficult about it at all
I had a GREAT time chasing wimmin there for TWO WHOLE YEARS there before my wife caught me, and I had to "suspend operations"

when I compare my marriage and wife to my friend’s
I feel like I hit the jackpot
I am REALLY happy that I didn’t marry an American woman
because of the contrast of my wife compared to them

younger...more beautiful...more interesting....best cook/housekeeper EVER!!!
and a raging nymphomaniac

American wimmin are fat, lazy, entitled, selfish, and partly crazy
and in America they are on top of the dating pyramid
and "y'all" are way down on it, towards the bottom, actually

OTOH in FSU a woman will find it hard to find a husband that makes more than $2,000 per month
to try and start a family with

when you show up,
you will "shine like the sun"
especially, if they live in some "shit-hole" village of delapidated shacks
in North Phuqueistan

PS,
Tiblisi Georgia looks like any other post Soviet waste land
why there?

why not Istanbul, Turkey
or
Mamaris, Turkey  Beach side
you can both wear shorts and swim in the Med. sea, even in Oct.
LOTS of Russian speakers there, many "exiles"

a 5-star hotel in Istanbul was like $120 night
several HUGE shopping malls for you to go take her clothes shopping
(I always went into the changing booth with the wimmin I brought there)
Michelein level dining
Amazing stuff to gawk at, like Hagia Sophia, etc
a romantic spot!

you both get your visas when you exit the plane for about $35 each

[Boethius]

Belarus has always given me the impression that it's like the 1950s in terms of culture in the west. More kind of housewife about the house doing domestic chores and sticking to female things.

Yet the ONLY FSUW who posted here and has a PhD is from Belarus.  She has a big career in the US now, and hires someone to clean her home.


I happen to believe kind, sympathetic, and understanding men do well in life.  But krimster is right, women are attracted to men with confidence. 

[2tallbill]

I haven't read anything about the items/theories you mentioned above.

But I can state this:
1) I am a 'nice guy' when it comes to treating women.
2) But I don't tolerate any B.S. from the women and drop them at the first hint of such.

This combination served its purpose for me in having good relations with dozens of FSU gals.

Here is my version of your excellent rule

2) But I don't tolerate any B.S. from the women and drop them at the first hint of such. NO MATTER HOW SMOKING HOT THEY ARE!!!

That's what differentiates winners and losers from most Western men.

 

[John Gaunt]

Just thinking on this more I think the type of society has a lot of influence also. In Belarus being nice will likely go down better. A woman I met in Minsk there didn't take too well to my sense of humour in one of the messages I sent, think I was making light hearted fun at something. Anyhow I back peddled a bit and all was ok, went out to meet her, she made a point that I should leave tips, a few coins etc nothing grandiose. The first girl I met in Kyiv meanwhile who was from Mariupol was more into pointing out that I need not leave tips lol. So it depends on culture and the girl I think. However in general I would say, particularly for Ukraine being a nice to a girl is more often a mistake. From what I've picked up along the way it's more the type of place for a guy to satisfy himself. In the west stuff like that tends to be seen as bad but out that way it's really more the done thing. Being considerate towards the girl isn't really the done way as has been said in another thread is a male macho patriarchal culture so it's outlook is much different than in the west.

Belarus has always given me the impression that it's like the 1950s in terms of culture in the west. More kind of housewife about the house doing domestic chores and sticking to female things. There's that kind of boredom of things being a bit too mundane and basic unexciting but it's more likely to produce a steady woman. Not saying there isn't a more racy element but no so much like Ukraine. Ukraine gives me almost like a speakeasy type of culture, more fun & random and where you're better off not being a straight laced type too much, not too much of a nice guy but ready to kick back and be the worst male chauvinist you can be lol. I would say if anything from what I've seen it pays to not be too good out there. If you're a 100 percent nice guy as you claim to be and don't want to be anything other Dol then I would definitely stick to Belarus if I were you as I think the women there would better suit you. I wouldn't look for a girl in Ukraine as I think many there prefer a guy who is not so nice as they are the guts they see as getting on. My guess is that the girls largely don't care about a guy being nice out there too much but more about whether he is a winner in life or can at least get something by almost any means. So yeah nice guy in Belarus I think you will be ok, nice guy in Ukraine I think as you put it they will Shred you!

BeJaysus.

You need to stop spending time on the forum and go and finish your house extension. It’s been, what? Seven years  that you’ve been at it?
 

[Trenchcoat]

BeJaysus.

You need to stop spending time on the forum and go and finish your house extension. It’s been, what? Seven years  that you’ve been at it?
 

Five years on a part time basis and yes it is nearly complete.

I know I write too much. It's pretty simple really as Krim has often stated, wear expensive clothing, work out, etc and the girls come. The ins & outs are intriguing but don't matter that much if you do those things.

[Trenchcoat]

Yet the ONLY FSUW who posted here and has a PhD is from Belarus.  She has a big career in the US now, and hires someone to clean her home.


I happen to believe kind, sympathetic, and understanding men do well in life.  But krimster is right, women are attracted to men with confidence.

Not saying a housewife type of outlook can't end up in a career or make it big just that their outlook includes the domestic front out there. The girl I met was career oriented, had a career in the theatre, singing and was then training to be a lawyer in their top law school, The President's something or other. She also worked in her family's shoe shop to support her family's business and herself so a busy girl. Apart from no chemistry I doubted that her wish to be friends may just be self serving so I moved on, advice on where I was going wrong given by her taken