How to detect scammers

[Dave]

ok, im fairly new to this but have been writing emails for some time. i know some of the flags that i see in emails but what are some things to look for...especially after actually meeting? her asking for money in an email is obvious, but obviously  the women who actually make it all the way to the marriage before pulling the scam are a little more clever. what are some subtle and not so subtle signs that a woman is a scammer?

[Stirlitz]

It's hard to say. Unless she is requesting for money. Generally when I translate letters I can see if something is wrong, and if I am asked I can warn. Just listen to yourself, don't be paranoid and don't put all funny things down to another culture.

[Bruno]

Asking money is not always a sign of scam... if you ask your girlfriend for write you e-mail each day, for phone you one time week, for exchange daily SMS... don't be surprise if she ask financial help...

At http://www.love-from-russia.be/am23.htm , you can find some Red Flags...

I have a interesting e-book over Russian woman who can help you to understand them ... http://www.love-from-russia.be/BooksaboutRussianWomen.pdf[/color][/b]

 

 

[Todd]

Scammers seem to follow the same pattern. They don't respond to your question and create an urgent event within 4-7 letters where they need a moderate amount of money (by our standards).  Generally, if they are asking for $300 for a visa, then that is a sure tip off.

However, if after writing you several times and answering your questions, it is up to YOU to decide whether or not to continue the correspondence.  Definitely call her and talk with her a few times.  After talking, if you still feel positive, I DO recommend that you send her a small sum of money for e-mail services.  It will be greatly appreciated by  her.  

[Fiorella]

Corresponding women's fiancee forums, girls expect that man will send her money and gifts. And if a man doesn't want to do that, they are usually begin to suspect in his honesty. In Russia people say, "as much a man invests in a woman as much he will appreciate her and will not want to loose her".

[Admin]

Corresponding women's fiancee forums, girls expect that man will send her money and gifts. And if a man doesn't want to do that, they are usually begin to suspect in his honesty. In Russia people say, "as much a man invests in a woman as much he will appreciate her and will not want to loose her".

This is, I think, just one of many ways these relationships can break down. If the woman has an expectation that she will be showered with money and gifts - and the man has the warning that any woman asking for money (or gifts) is a scammer - then we have the perfect ingredient for a MAJOR misunderstanding and break-down.

I continue to believe the BEST approach is for both sides (man and woman) to approach all of this in the same way they would be thinking about a new relationship if the person were from their own country. Fewer expectations (of money or sex or whatever), and more natural. Major differences are:

A couple should expect this process to take time.

They should expect it will be somewhat more costly than if they remained at home.

They should seek common ground at all times - including language (to my mind, BOTH should be trying to learn the others language).

They should be PATIENT when they encounter difficulties, and give one another the benefit of the doubt in all things.

Just my thoughts - FWIW

- Dan

[acrzybear]

They should be PATIENT when they encounter difficulties, and give one another the benefit of the doubt in all things

 The main thing I have been told is that patience is a must if you want any marriage to work, and that's even more so when you have two different cultures and languages involved.  The biggest problem I have seen in my 10 years as a police officer and dealing with married couples in emotional situations is that people speak at each other, but don't communicate with each other.

But having never been married I know not of what I speak:)

 

OK I'm really going back to the cave now

[Todd]

I think that this question of money and gifts is more of a subset of a larger issue.  Namely, how does one make a RW feel valued and loved.  While I do send money and gifts to Kate, I think both she and her mother have been impressed by how much that I've called over the past 8 months.  Generally, we talk on the phone about 5 times a week and chat on yahoo 3 or 4 times a week.  For both Kate and I, time is far more valuable than money.  The fact that I spend so much time with her is what makes her feel valued NOT the gifts.  Also, because we communicate so much, the level of misunderstanding is in general very low and nothing really festers.

[Felice]

Like Fiorella says sending money is not the scam, talking about money is no scam either. Scam is: Paying for something what is not available for you.Scam is getting money from men where is no chance of really getting a relation with the woman involved. Sending monthly unasked money than going wrong is no scam either, the purpose can have been good. Many people do not know the real meaning of scam. It has to do with money but more with intentions.

An agency running with girls and do fake-correspondence. Agencies selling adresses fromgirls brought in by the mafia with as goal sharing the benefits of the sold adresses, this is scam, fake profiles waiting for presents, never asking money.

You would be surprised how many Lugansk scamprofiles will never ask money, selling her adress is enough, getting presents is enough for some scamagencies, do this with hundreds of girls you see what it brings.

Sending money is no scam, you write to a  a girl in Russia which will be your wife. When you want her, you must think. whenyou are sure she is real, when she wants to meet, there can be circumstances that you do send.

Is it so nice to hear from your wife, when I was poor in Russia, paying myswelf for the correspondence you refused even to help me!!!Sending money is no scam, Scam is paying for something what is not available for you.

At least i did, it did go wrong but I had a visa, I could have gone. I did not do what was promised. A blacklist wanted to list her.

I refused, was it scam? I don't know, maybe yes, maybe no.