Choosing the RIGHT Leauge

[IAmZon]

There is a simultaneous thread running that intends to examine the availability of Beauty in Russian/ Ukraine, and its truthful availability to WM today.

An important issue has arisen that deserves its own inquiry:  What is the proper "league" a man should assign himself to? 

That is a difficult question for me, and I assume for others. I get way to many letters from way to many pretty young RW to maintain my sobriety. 

I relate to many members here: Kuna; Avman; FSUrookie ... I am NOT unmarketable to nice, attractive ladies in my own back yard.  Also, has anyone ever noticed that a man only needs to NOT be ugly:)  Really ... if you take a normal guy (he has to take care of himself physically; not be a weirdo; stay current with fashions and trends - not be stuck in a time capsule - be moderately successful ... this guy has choices everywhere. If he is better looking than others, or a little richer than others ... he enjoys even more choices.

What makes this true in most cases is personality; charisma; the unique communication of ideas.  Combining these traits enables me to float from one league to another in the US.  But I may be over inflating my abilities with RW?!?!?

How much of the personality stuff is instantly lost in the culture gap?

Thanks for tolerating me asking more than my share of questions ....

[Kuna]

Rivardco,

Nice to see you back.  I noticed you hadn't been around for a few days and I think your questions are great... you fill in gaps that I haven't even identified yet!

As you know, I'm as green as you when it comes to this but let me share my recent personal experiences.

Humour lets me get away with LOTS at home and I'm not silly enough to believe my looks brought me dating success in the past.

When I was researching the RW thing I started to think RW were serious and appreciated a serious man.  For whatever reason I was "serious" when talking to the girls, especially during the first few phone calls.  It didn't feel natural though so now I carefully introduce some of my natural humour into our conversations.

I will say, with the bad phone lines and the language barrier some stuff that's said is lost, but I'm sharing a lot of laughs with all 4 girls I'm currently in communication with.  It's fun for me too!

During this week I got a short email from one of the girls that simply said:

"My week is crazy and i very much wait weekend. I would like to talk with you because I need laugh"

I called, we had a laugh, she told me she really appreciated the attention I gave her, and we both went back to our normal days a bit happier than we were before.

As for which "league" you should play in?  I basically took this approach.  I know what I find attractive and I believe there's a "range" that is attractive to all of us.  When I comfirmed my "acceptable range" in my own mind I started going through the profiles and looked for "compatible traits", or at least things in the profiles that were of interest to me.  Then I sent a well worded "first email" that talked a lot about them, a bit about my upcoming trip and very little about me.  I only said enough about myself to let them know I didn't have two heads and wasn't looking for a housekeeper.

Every response I got within the first week had enough info for me to then make a more informed choice, and over time I've been able to reduce the numbers down to 4.  This may reduce further before I go there but I don't think I'll be sending out any more first emails.

I reckon when you get there you'll know if there is attraction and compatibility.  You're obviously no fool when it comes to dating so I'd say just be yourself, develop some meaning communication (especially on the phone) and take a trip to establish some reality.

Cheers mate,

Kuna

[FSUrookie]

I agree with you Kuna. There is no one right solution or advice that is right for everyone. And I must say, the search can be fun and interesting at that, and humor can be helpful, just be careful that there are no misunderstandings or anything offensive in the translations.

I think what created many false illusions about FSU women were the SHARK matchmaking agencies (CON MAN CONNECT for example)only looking for American men's USA dollars.

I now know that there are many good agencies that actually work hard to bring a man and woman with similar attraction scale ratings and compatible interests and personalities together.

The agency that I am using now is 200% better than the CON MAN CONNECT agency that I used for my first trip. Of course, as said many times here, the idea is to get the agencies out of the loop, though the better agencies can be very helpful in other aspects of making your trip to Ukraine or Russia a pleasant one.

Anyway, I also have a standard intro letter that I use to shake the good ones out of the pack too (hopefully).

[SANDRO43]

If I consider the MOB site profiles posted by FSUW (someone will object and say these are agency-written texts), their most frequently expressed requirements for WM are (see the Wiki Russglish Glossary http://russianwomendiscussion.com/wiki/index.php?Russglish%20Glossary for an interpretation of marked items ), in descending order :

- Serious attitudes*
- Sense of humour
- Counter-balanced*
- No bad habits*
- Love of family and kids
- Financially secure

The first two items are not as contradictory as they might appear at first. All lead to the conclusion that what FSUW say they seek most, is stability in their perspective relationships abroad. And, also, that it's difficult for them to find it at home .

[Gator]

Do not rely on your personality to impress some women who otherwise would not be impressed.  That sounds like a sales job or an act.  Instead, try to find someone whose personality enlivens you.

My 41-yo girl friend does not speak English.  Yet, I like her personality.  She likes mine.  The "chemistry" somehow comes through.  For sure it does not come through in huge buckets, yet it clearly previews what life would be with her.  We have more fun than should be possible for not sharing the same language.

I am trying to say that somehow two kindred souls can speak even through a culture barrier and a language barrier.  I have been with other RW who spoke little English and have been bored to tears by their personality   And just a bad with one fluent in English.

Meet many women.  Some will not like you.  Sorry, but those are the facts.  Others will, but you will not like them.  Hopefully you will find someone whom you like and who likes you.  And hopefully subsequent meetings are even better.

[Rvrwind]

My only real hardfast criteria for looking for a partner is first & formost facial features. I figure if I am going to have to look at this woman for the rest of my life, I expect to have somethng nice to look at. Free of scars & blemishes, etc. Second is personality, how she treats me & the people around her & how they treat her & respect her is of great importance. The rest is merely non essential & only window dressing.
Of course I don't want a woman who would outwiegh me in the ring, but I am & have never been into skinny women either. I like them with a little meat on their bones. A woman with a cute face & nice eyes will attract me much faster than a woman with an hourglass figure. I do however gravitate towards a nicely shaped tooshy!

[Michelangelo]

I think it's the wrong question, Riv.  Don't worry about what league you are playing in. Instead, make sure you have, baseball speaking, a lot of "at bats."

By meeting and dating a lot of girls, you are going to find girls who you will connect with.  You will be attracted to them. They will be attracted to you.

So don't just write to the 3 most beautiful girls at the agency.   But do write beautiful girls.

In other words, don't limit yourself to girls you think are in "your league" physically.  Lots of guys here are married to very beautiful women.  But all of them will tell you that beauty was secondary to personality, and love, in making the relationship work.

[IAmZon]

EXCELLENT point Gator and Mich!

This goes beyond a back-up plan which is written about often.  It goes beyond the simple advise to pay the field. 

I understand completely, and will incorporate this view into my thinking immediately.

Whatcha think KUNA?

[FSUrookie]

Bunch of good posts here, but I would like to interject just to tone down the superficiality a bit.
First, as Rivrwind suggested somewhat, look at the whole package.
Looks, personality, intelligence, figure, morals, religious beliefs, inner beauty, etc etc etc...
Then choose a girl that has the best combination of the above features. So what if the girl that loves you to death is only a 7 instead of a 9 or 10? I'm not sure where the girl I am corresponding with would rate, but she's nice looking no doubt. I am more concerned what's on the inside since I will have to live with my future wife forever, and the beauty and sex part will take The marriage only so far by themselves. I've gone out with 9's and 10's who were BORING and GOLD DIGGERS, and I'll take the 7 anyday, and it has nothing to do whether I could attract a 10 or not. Once again, look at the whole package and listen to your heart.
I will also be honest, in years past I have been guilty of trying to catch the best looking women, only to end up with a lady that has the personality of a rock or the brain of a fish or the spending habits of a hollywood movie star. Plain and simple, it's just the way things are in the world, and FSU women are falling into the same categories as American women these days.
Of course, there are ALWAYS exceptions to every rule.
And like Mich said, like it or not, you have to have a PLAN A, PLAN B, etc.... Bad dates and bad chemistry happen.
Enough said for now.

[jinx13]

 Very well said for someone with a name like FSUrookie  I guess that's more of life experience speaking, not neccessarily anything to do with the FSU experience, but sounds like you are not a rookie anymore either, maybe a name change is in order?

[Kuna]

Whatcha think KUNA?

Yup... agree with everything above.

Let's be honest, once you're in a relationship the only thing that really matters are the things you can't see.

I think it's 55 days to go now and I can't wait.  I'm even thinking about finding a dodgy doctor and asking him to put me in a medically induced coma so the time flies!

 

Kuna

[Rvrwind]

By meeting and dating a lot of girls, you are going to find girls who you will connect with.  You will be attracted to them. They will be attracted to you.

Very true. Its like playing the lottery, the more tickets you buy the more chances you have.
When I did my original trip, I actually came here as a WOVO which went sour before we left the airport to get in the car & head for TVER.
I used LTP as a backup plan & dated over 40 wome in the following 2 weeks before starting to narrow the field. When I left I thought I found the one I was clicking with, but that went south after a month of letter writng & I had to come back after 3 months to patch things up with the one I should have picked in the first place. I did have my reasons for the choices I made at the time & don't regret them, however I wouldn't have wasted a month had I thought longer on it in the first place.
Incidently the one I went back for is my loving wife of 3 years & counting!