Is she interested in me or my wallet? - First date with a RW

[Kevin L]

My own personal experience with women who like to spend your money has never been good.

Usually they will expect more as the time goes on.

My cousin just married a woman from Yokshar ola, Russia a few months ago.

She demanded that she would buy his dinner on the first date.

She was the only one that he ever trusted.

I would advise you not to get to attached to this lady.

There are many good Russian women out there, but you just have to be careful.

Kevin L
Angels To Love

[FunIndieBloke]

That's right Kuna, you don't need to flash cash.  Its only going to attract the wrong girls for the wrong reasons.  A good girl can tell if a guy has it going for him and will be able to take care of her without him spending like he won the lottery.  Winners win and losers try to make up for it by blowing their cash.

Though like you, after I land "the one" I'll proceed to slowly spoil her!!   

Well spoken Kuna and DKMM, which is why I began to have doubts about her sincereity.  There's a line you have to tread between being cheap (like that bloke who told his GF to reuse teabags) but flashing money around like you're insecure about yourself and you think that money will make her attracted to you.  Fortunately, its not a fine line.

[RussianGal]

(She's an art student there). 
She specifically wanted to meet a man from an ENGLISH SPEAKING COUNTRY. 
She was definitely coming on strong, we were holding hands shortly after first meeting and kissing by the the end of Saturday evening. 
I kind of felt that she was after me for my wallet was that she was picking expensive (At least 50 Euros per person, some times 80-90 Euros per person restaurants) places to eat, taking taxis everywhere and choosing expensive drinks ...  I was expected to pay for everything, including her cigarettes. 

I ask her to come visit me in London, I would arrange the visa and everything and take care of accommodation.  She replied that she couldn't get a tourist visa..
This happened about two months ago, and I haven't heard from her since.

Based on what you wrote here I think she is not an art student and is not from a well off family. It looks like she is just a prodater (may be even a prostitute) and that is her bread.

I also think she is in France illegally, otherwise a person like her would gladly take an opportunity to go to London for free!

[jb]

For what it's worth, Russian Gal, I agree with you.  This thing was stinking to high heaven from the very beginning.  Just a hooker looking for a high roller.

[FunIndieBloke]

For what it's worth, Russian Gal, I agree with you.  This thing was stinking to high heaven from the very beginning.  Just a hooker looking for a high roller.

Hi RussianGal and JB, thanks for the feedback, so it seems like I did the right thing putting the ball in her court.  I am planning on seeing this girl in Ukraine next month, and we are having more in-depth conversations that I had with this girl living in Paris.  Is there a way to tell before you go over if she has honest intentions (she says that she's serious about this, and she mentioned that she's perfectly honest with me)

Once I'm there, some of the things I can do differently than last time is choosing some of the places to eat, or speaking up if she tries to take me somewhere expensive all the time.  Is it also good etiquette to ask her to pay for some miinor expenses (like a short taxi ride, or one round of drinks), or is that in bad taste over there?

Thanks everyone

[Gator]

FIBloke asked, Is there a way to tell before you go over if she has honest intentions (she says that she's serious about this, and she mentioned that she's perfectly honest with me).

Both a good Dyev (girl) and a bad Dyev would give you the same answer to this question, with the bad girl probably sounding more convincing.

The woman should not pay for a thing, even if she offers.  Why?  They do not have much money.  Of course, you need to avoid the expensive places from the beginning, perhaps going only at the end of your trip as a celebration.

I am beginning to worry about you.  Your questions make me think you too inexperienced with women to tackle this assignment.

Please tell us how you came into contact with the Ukrainian woman.  And what has been the nature of your conversations?  And describe her age, looks, education, profession, etc.  Then all of us can jump in and give our best "wild a$$ guess" (and "guess" it will be).

I think it is good that you only have a weekend.  That is enough to decide if you wish to see her again.

[swindoom]

Is it also good etiquette to ask her to pay for some miinor expenses (like a short taxi ride, or one round of drinks), or is that in bad taste over there?

It would be very bad to ask her to pay for a taxi or a round of drinks, you will come across as very stingy. The places she takes you to will give a good indication of the type of woman she is. I will try to explain with an example, I heard of a guy who visited Omsk and the woman took him to a cafe where he spent $20 on two coffees and cakes, when I visited Omsk I was taken to a restuarant where we had a very good three course meal, several Siberian Corona's and paid for the taxi to/from the restuarant for less then $20. The first guy finally realised he was being taken for a mug and I realised I had found a good one.

[Mir]

Dear Fun!

You can contact this agency:

Bob Sopel Ukrainian Travel
27 Henshaw Street
Oldham
Nr Manchester
England
OL1 1NH
Tel no. 0161 652 5050
Fax 0161 633 0825
info@ukraine.co.uk
www.ukraine.co.uk

I have not used them but many people have and find that they can get good deals on travel to Ukraine.Like one chaps wife goes regularly to Simferopol in Crimea and he gets them there for the same price as for Kiev.
The price I quoted to you was from Aerosvit airlines website:
http://aerosvit.ua/eng/flightsinfo/
You can check dates prices and book online.
For some reason today their online booking system is not working but hopefuly will sort itself in the next day or two.

Now I gather that you are only going for a weekend. I feel that for such a short trip going to a far off city in Ukraine will waste time and effort. February can be bitterly cold in Ukraine and the day ends very quickly.Perhaps you can ask your friend to come and meet you in Kiev for the weekend.It certainly is a much more romantic city then Dnipro.
Also I would not let myself be taken anywhere by the girl.It is best to research in advance to have an idea of restaurants in the city you are going.I have always felt that normal girls in Ukraine have hardly been to restaurants and usually would not know where to go.If they are suggesting expensive restaurants then they might be professional daters.If you are going to Kiev let me know and I can give you some suggestions depending on how much you want to spend wineing and dining.
Good luck

[FunIndieBloke]

Both a good Dyev (girl) and a bad Dyev would give you the same answer to this question, with the bad girl probably sounding more convincing.

The woman should not pay for a thing, even if she offers.  Why?  They do not have much money.  Of course, you need to avoid the expensive places from the beginning, perhaps going only at the end of your trip as a celebration.

I am beginning to worry about you.  Your questions make me think you too inexperienced with women to tackle this assignment.

Please tell us how you came into contact with the Ukrainian woman.  And what has been the nature of your conversations?  And describe her age, looks, education, profession, etc.  Then all of us can jump in and give our best "wild a$$ guess" (and "guess" it will be).

I think it is good that you only have a weekend.  That is enough to decide if you wish to see her again

Looking back, I think I asked a silly question, especially since the gentleman pays on a date.  I do this in the UK and US, and its true especially when the gentleman comes from a country with a higher income.  Maybe getting taken the first time around has burned me a bit.  After reading some more on these forums, it happens, no doubt about it, but the key thing is to realise when it happens and when to find when she's more sincere.  Swindoom had some good examples in his last post, and Mir said it best when he said that I should pick the places to go.

Yes, I am inexperienced with this, and technically I should be in the starting out forum, but I wanted to find out some more information from the experienced blokes.

I think that I know what to do next, but let me tell you what's up with her.  We've been emailing each other and finding out about each other's family, interests, background.  She's 20, used to work as a tourism manager and now works at a men's clothing store.  She is curently studying in university.

[DKMM]

You will learn while you are there but the surely the paying thing is a big one you don't want to learn the hard way.  Don't worry about the little stuff though, if she has done any homework she will expect you to not understand how everything is supposed to go there.