Translation help please

[Phil dAmore]

Greetings all!

Recently this little ditty showed up in my inbox.  As near as I can figure it's either a dirty poem or something that will lose a lot of meaning in the translation.  Any help would be greatly appreciated!!

Мой Д Ерый Друг  Н  Рыжкин  как  встарь ты  пишешь 
мне  стихи...   чем   провоширчемь  отрыжки  и  сна
лишаешь  от  тоски   кончай  же  еуат  уйми  лонос
не  до  замерзших  мне  яиц...   изволь   же   срать
себе  под  нос  талант  твой  явно-без  границ!

c новым годом!!!

[Rvrwind]

Well where's Nina, she quit translating for you, LOL
Valya read it & refuses to tell me what it says, but says it ain't good. So take it from there!!!

[Phil dAmore]

Well where's Nina, she quit translating for you, LOL
Valya read it & refuses to tell me what it says, but says it ain't good. So take it from there!!!

Nina told me the exact same thing.  What a woman... always trying to protect me from corrupting influences.

Online translaters haven't helped much and even in my trusty copy of "Dermo" I can't find this.

If its truly that bad, no need to post it in the open forum.  Send it in a PM, but I do need to know what this is.

The things I do for my clients...

[Rvrwind]

TFF Phil. Yep our ladies trying to keep us from being corrupted by bad influences!!! Gotta love 'em!!!
Just between me & you, when you do figure it out, let me know.
But I am curious as to if it is that bad & you say there is a client involved, who wrote it to him? I'm thinkin' they didn't like him much, LOL.

[Rvrwind]

Okay Phil, I am at the office & Katya & Marina looked it over.
I won't write here everything that it says but just the stuff they would actually translate.
It say, basically that 'What you write to me is so boring it makes me want to puke.' The rest is a bunch of explatives that they don't want to repeat & part of it they are questioning if it is really Russian.
So there ya go, Buddy needs to find a new friend, LOL.
Best I can do for you bud.

[Stirlitz]

Some rubbish. Frankly, I cannot translate it at all except for the previous poster said. Some words, like  провоширчемь, are not Russian at all and I have little idea what it is supposed to stand for.