Carved in Stone

[Makkin]

Hello,

  I would like to ask JazzyClassy a question as well as all members of the board. It may seem complex or simple but I wish to learn the rule that may apply to members in their minds as they look and possibly answer this three part opinion/question. I will not respond but please answer anyway that makes the most sense to you.


  Question (1)- When traveling to Ukraine or Russia and meeting or dating a woman there what is the single most important thing that you feel MUST be done?

  Question (2)- Reverse of question one. What one this MUST not be done?

  Question (3)- When talking about your trip to friends upon your return home what do feel is the best way to avoid the stereotype response? Sorry for the broadness of the third question.

Thanks,

Makkin

[Turboguy]

Single most,   Humm that makes it tough.  Very good questions though!

1.  Be Yourself

2.  Don't say negative things about Russia or Russian people.   They are very wonderful people but they are very proud and you need to respect that.

3.   Dahhh,   I don't know.  I just tell everyone about my trip and show them photos.  I don't worry about what anyone thinks.

[I/O]

1) Arrive.  (Many don't)

2) Not arrive.  (Many do)

3) Tell them nothing and take them nowhere. 

You won't often change, with words, the mind of someone who has a stereotypical view of something.  This board is often a good example.  The people who haven't been will have their own view, which most often they will want to share with you.  Once they have done that, then confirm if they are correct or shoot it to bits if not and leave them to think about it.

I/O 

[Jazzyclassy]

Dear Makkin

1)Actually there is no special rule, just really you should be yourself but , of course arrive (I/O is absolutely gorgeous with his wisdom:) and I think you should not feel shy , you should not feel tense I know I understand it is completely different country you do not know the language and stuff but still it is the same land from some point of view, we are all made of the same material:))))

2)Be very careful with money! with your personal things with telling the way too much about your family and your background , I stress it is if you are going like hanging around there not to a particular girl you've chatted for ages for example
when you do not know the person and just met her in Russia or Ukraine while staying there

Do not show off too much , we do not like it here hahahahha am joking , can show off but never show that it is so easy  for the girl to make eyes to you and you will buy  beer or any kinda stuff to the girl in short skirt who is sitting right there in the bar,

Do not try to be looking russian please that is just really typical thing, everybody will at once recognize your foreign face with rolling interested eyes with such a joy and happiness in the sight , cos many russians look very depressed and strict , especially men , so do not put that furry hat if you do not want to and do not put on valenki and fur coat, where what you got used to wear sportwear coat , some boots and american hat:))

I know you ask about different things I just remembered things about clothing so thought  I would mention this

3) Just show what you feel like showing , there is nothing to brag of and to boast or anything , better just show some general pictures and talk about general cultural places, unless you have some very best friends,I do not know it depends you know

[catzenmouse]

Question (1)- When traveling to Ukraine or Russia and meeting or dating a woman there what is the single most important thing that you feel MUST be done?

I think this is the same world wide. Be there with HER and only HER. She IS the reason you are there, yes?

 

Question (2)- Reverse of question one. What one this MUST not be done?

Don't be an @sshole! They have already seen enough of the pompous Westerner who just "Knows" that everything is better back home. Embrace the country and the people. The more you see, do, and try the more you will begin to understand them and with that comes a great respect and admiration for them and their way of life.

 

Question (3)- When talking about your trip to friends upon your return home what do feel is the best way to avoid the stereotype response? Sorry for the broadness of the third question.

 The people that matter will not be judgemental of your trip, the FSU, or the people you met. Don't be the least bit concerned with the other ones.

[funkola]

Don't be an @sshole!

If you have to warn someone "don't be an asshole" it is probably to late. 

[catzenmouse]

funkola,

 You are correct there! Sometimes it is best to just state the obvious as folks can get all wrapped up in the forest and miss all the trees.

 Last time we were in Russia we were at a pool hall in a hotel and I saw a guy (American I think but I was not about to ask and get involved with him) cursing in English at the elevator because it was not working properly (or to his liking anyway) and I just shook my head and walked away thinking "Eta Rossiya". He may have been a decent guy most times but his display of behavior could only be categorized in one word, @sshole.  Not the kind of behavior that you would want to display in looking for a potential mate.

Ken

[2tallbill]

1) Arrive.  (Many don't)

2) Not arrive.  (Many do)

3) Tell them nothing and take them nowhere. 

You won't often change, with words, the mind of someone who has a stereotypical view of something.  This board is often a good example.  The people who haven't been will have their own view, which most often they will want to share with you.  Once they have done that, then confirm if they are correct or shoot it to bits if not and leave them to think about it.

I/O 

I/O great advice

I have one little bit of advice and that is if you can make a RW laugh you are a hundred miles ahead of your nearest competitor.

[Patrick]

1. Answer her questions. Give her a direct answer. Don't answer her questions with one of your own. She will not forget your answers so it would be wise for you not to forget what the questions were. Ask her any questions that you may have about her, just be ready to get the stone cold truth. Like Ken said, you have made the trip to be with her.
2. Try to put her at ease. Speak slow and speak to her. She will ask you what you think about things, such as current events. She does not need to be told how screwed up things are, she knows this already. She wants to know what you would do and what you think should  or could be done to make them better.
3. Forget the bragging and boasting. Never forget the standing tall, looking sharp and she is a lady, make sure that you treat her as such. I promise she will do the same to you. She is looking for security and some guidance from you, if you let her down now forget the future. Remember this, if she likes you, you will know it. You will not have to wonder about it.. Have fun and love life.

[Makkin]

Hello,

  I mentioned that I would not reply to your answers and that was not keen of me to do so. Thanks for the very good advice and personal opinions as I will use all of the advice given.

  Thank you,


  Turboguy

  I/O

  JazzyClassy

  Catzenmou

  Funkola

  2TallBill

  Patrick

















 

[DKMM]

I'll do my own list:

1)  A gift.  You must bring a gift of some sort, I don't care if you have to buy it in the airport (did that with good results).  Just make sure its the airport you depart from and not the one you land in!!

2)  Do not under any circumstances show your frustrustion with her inability to communicate (either speaking or listening) with you in English.

3)  We've all dealt with this.  People are ignorant and they will question your motives.  I stick with the "culture" excuse because its true and there is not good comeback against that.  I am getting tired of the "why can't you find a girl here" diatribe.  I never hear that from my single friends mind you, only the married ones.