Tribute to my FIL

[START2]

Not sure this is the correct topic area but it does relate to us married persons.
  Yesterday morning my father-in-law, Leonid Gura, passed away from long extended battle with cancer. He was one of the great guys I have met in my life and although we did not have many years to get to know one another, I thank God for the 2 years we were acquainted. Leonid was a dedicated family man, husband, father and grandfather. He was the opposite of what you hear in the agencies and MOB circles about Ukrainian men. He was highly respected in his work, and everyday life.
   We came from different worlds. Me, an american, him, a dedicated communist. I am the first american he ever met. Whatever powers were at work, we instanly connected. He treated me with respect from the beginning and our friendship grew from that moment. No, we didn't have a common language, but with the limited russian I knew, we always were able to relate. Last summer we were alone many times, and whether it was working in the garden or knocking down a shot of vodka and cooking shaslyk, we were very comfortable to be alone. I remember one afternoon when he went to a cabinet and pulled out albums of photos and showed me his life from school days to military days to starting his young family. Pop was and architect engineer and designed many of the buildings and roads in the Sumy Region.
  Leonid and his wife Anna raised a fabulous daughter, who displays both of their characters. They taught her honesty and integrity, and it's true that usually the fruit does not fall far from the tree. With Leonid, you did not have to guess where he stood on any issue. There was right and wrong, and to do the right thing was the only way to live your life. You could witness that with even his friends. They were of like mind.
   I also remember when he would introduce me to his friends. One in particular who I would call a practical joker, gave me the traditional kiss on each cheek and then laid one on my lips. Quite surprised, I kissed him back. At the same time, I heard in the background laughter from the the other guys that came and knew I had just been set up. Soon after, many toasts from the private stills of all involved.
   A week before this past Christmas, Pop took a turn for the worse so I sent my wife and son home to spend all the time they could with him. By mid-january, he understood why they were stayin so long and sent them home to me. He told my wife you are here to wait for me to pass and you need to be with your husband. Go home. Reluctantly for both me and Val, she came home. The important point was that she could be with him during the holidays as this could the last time. When she left, I understood that he told Valentyna  "to take good care of your husband". I consider that one of the greatest honors given to me.
   In Ukraine, from time of death to burial is very fast. There was no time for Val to fly home, however she will spend all summer with Mom and that is what is most important now. As expected, hundreds came to pay their respects as it is well deserved. Tomorrow morning will be breakfast at the grave site as is tradition.
   I want to thank Ken(catz), jb, vaughn, Jet, for allowing me to bend your ear. As I told jb, I'm not one that needs support groups as I am more of a private type person. I was going to keep this event inside, but I felt the need to relate to you the greatness of my FIL, Leonid Gura. One other note, Leonid accepted Christ over a year ago but being state taught in his youth, God was never an option. He told me once that he always knew there was more to life than living and dying. I only said that ever since God breathed the first breath of life into Adam, His spirit has been passed in to each man or woman since that time. he understood.
   I hope that each and every one of you have the opportunity to know your in-laws as I know mine. If they accept you, you are like a blood relative.
  My last thanks to Catzenmouse for the loan of his wife Elena. Over a month ago, we arranged for Elena to come visit us for a week. The timing has become perfect. I told ken, on the surface this may appear to be a bad time  for Elena to visit, but in reality, since Val and Elena are like sisters, Elena brings a comforting presence to our home and to my wife. She is here for a week, and I thank God for this gift. Elena is good medicine for my wife.
   I want to thank you Leonid for being part of my life for a short time and may God bless and keep you. We will meet again.

[KenC]

My heart goes out to you for your loss.  I too am blessed with great In Laws, so your post hits home for me.
KenC

[START2]

My favorite of Mom and Pop. 41 years of the happiest marriage I've ever witnessed.

[Admin]

Heartfelt condolences to you and your family in this time of loss.

As usual, I am at a loss for words. My wish is for you to find comfort in your grief, and joy in your remembrances of a life well-lived.

- Dan

[groovlstk]

START2,

My condolences to you and your family, and thanks for a wonderful story. My wife and I will keep you all in our prayers.

[jb]

Condolences on your loss.  Having just lostmy MIL I have some idea of what your family is going through.  Did your wife have a chance to go home to be with her dad when he passed?  It helped my wife a lot to be with her mom when the time came.

Once again, sorry for your loss.

[CaptB]

My hearfelt condolences to you and your family. My wife's Father passed away when she was a teenager. My MIL came to stay with us here in the states last Summer. My folks thought she she is the greatest. My Mother was pleased to see.....that I also called my MIL........."Mom"..........


Capt B

[SANDRO43]

Truly a loss when a fine man passes away, the world seems poorer than before . My condolences to all your family.

[bgreed]

Just wanted to add my condolences also, I feel much the same way about my fiancees father.  She is from Sumy region also.

[Patrick]

Start, You never know what to say to someone at a time like this. Maryna and I send our condolences to Val and you. I am sure that your life is much better for knowing and having him in it.

[Vaughn]

Start,

  What a nice tribute to Leonid! You can count on us to keep him and the family in our thoughts and prayers. Like CaptB, I never had the chance to meet my FIL, who died in 1984 - yet through my wife and her Mom, I feel I've come to know him anyway. You were blessed to have spent quality time together.

Our sincerest condolences,

Vaughn and Elvira

[START2]

Thanks to all who have expressed your sincere good wishes to our family. I would recommend that each and everyone one of us take the earliest opportunity to know your wife's or fiancee's family. In most cases it will be quite rewarding. By knowing them you will know a portion about the person you are deciding to spend your life with. That woman you are taking from her home also has loved ones that care for her. Try to meet them. You may just gain a loving extended family.

[catzenmouse]

Dude,

 That was a wonderful post about Leonid! As far as timing of the visit goes, well, sometimes we just get looked after by powers bigger than us. I'm happy that they are there now to be with Val.

 It is rather weird here as this if our first time apart in over 2 years and I guess it is a good practice for me since they will be in Russia for the Summer.

 You know that anytime you want I'm here for you my friend.

Ken

[Son of Clyde]

Start2,
Sorry for your loss.
You have fond memories of Leonid and these great pictures.
I am not good at words in these situations but if you need to talk I am but a phone call away.

[Rvrwind]

Sorry for your loss Start2.
Your post was a grand tribute to a man you loved & respected.
It is always hard when one looses a family member. My wifes father passed when we were engaged & I never did get the opportunity to meet him. But 'Mom' is as close as all get out & I love her bunches. Take to heart the memories of your time with him & treasure them.
Our hearts are with you & your family.

[Maxx2]

I am sorry for your loss. I sounded like a wonderful man.

Dave

[START2]

I am sorry for your loss. I sounded like a wonderful man.

Dave

 
  Dave, thanks for your sincerity and for the giggle I got out of this. I'm sure you are a wonderful man  but I was talking about my FIL.
Hey, just joking. We all make typo's.
   Many of us can relate to our new in-laws. Not that we don't or never connected with our american counterparts, but there is a difference that I can't find words for. Most came through some very trying times that we never experienced ,and the ones that stayed strong and overcame, have a special character.
  Thanks again to each of you. Darryl.

[Maxx2]

Wow! I really blew it. I better not say another thing.


Dave

[GregfromGa]

Man I'm truly sorry for your loss. I just know that Leonid knew that you were taking really good care of his little girl so far away from them. It will do your mother-in-law well for her daughter to come visit. I also recommend bringing her over for several months as well. My wife worries so much about her Papa. He's got to be the strongest man I ever met for having to live with 3 Ukrainian women at once.

You are so right about our inlaws and what they had to overcome in their lifetime. Just the snow and ice gets me. My wife tells a great story about how her Papa would cut the snickers bar in 3 pieces and he wouldnt eat so the girls and Mama could have a bigger piece. Snickers bars was probably hard to come by over there 15 or 20 years ago.

Hang in there and bring Mama on over for a while. Help them get a nice headstone and whatever else they might need as well. My thoughts and prayers are with your family.

[DKMM]

Very moving, my condolences.