Here is the link Maxxum. The trip report itself is long, it covers all of my trips, but the wedding stuff is in Trip #4.
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=1976.15My wife and I spent the summer together in 2003, so we had a lot of time to sit around and think of things we wanted to do for the wedding.
Some of the stuff we came up with, if you are looking for ideas:
We went down to the embankment one day and had a street artist make chalk drawings of both of us in Matisse style, which we then scanned and created wine labels for the five cases of California wine her dad had brought back from his last sea voyage (ship's engineer). Soak the wine bottles in water to get the old labels off. Print the new labels on sticky label paper.
We had copies of the chalk drawings mounted facing each other in a gold frame with a very wide mat board and at the wedding our guests wrote little messages of congratulations on the mat. It hangs in our bedroom behind glass. Really nice way to remember everyone who was there.
We had about twenty disposable cameras on the tables for guests to take pictures (we glued instructions in Russian on how to use them) but these were quickly converted to future personal use by several of the guests.
Bought a ton of silk rose petals on Ebay for cheap. Some of these were thrown on us as we entered the reception. The rest were apparently used for some other occasion by some of the guests.
My wife and her mother picked out the dress that she wanted and I didn't worry about the price. There were plenty of other things to compromise on but I was pretty sure the dress wasn't going to be one of them. Plus the matching shoes and the veil and the ring cushion and the garter and the hair thingies and the stockings and the gloves and so on...
In June, Hyundai Hotel quoted $5,000 to rent SkyBar for a Saturday day/night. In July, they were down to $4,500 because I told them some of my friends at the Consulate had recommended that we have the reception there (a non-truth). In August it was down to $3,500 since we were dealing with a girl filling in for the other girl who was on her summer vacation. Since the menu was included in the price, we deleted some of the more expensive items and got it down to $3,000 by September. We also asked to change the day to a Wednesday and they dropped it to $2,500. In October we knew when we were getting the visa so we set a date for January 3rd. I told them that since this was just after New Year's the price should be cheaper, so they dropped it to $2,000. They didn't seem to notice or care that January 3rd was on a Saturday. Reality is the place is deserted at this time of the year anyway. In November we added the more expensive menu items back in at no additional charge, and got them to waive the additional $500 fee for bringing our own alcohol, and got them to allow us to bring our own chocolates and wedding cake. We also got them to throw in the "VIP" room to set up our photographer's studio for formal pictures. The idea is that you can get a really nice place for a lot less if you are getting married in the dead of winter. We sort of felt like having the reception at SkyBar made up for the fact that we couldn't wait until spring. It was just the perfect setting for us.
We had the dj play what was their first dance song at the grandparent's wedding, parents, aunt/uncle, etc. It was all a surprise and they loved their little romantic dance very much.
Selecting a good tamada is key. We wanted someone very professional and talented, and not just one of the many amateurs in around. We selected the tamada that Hyundai had used for March 8. The guy absolutely took the party to the next level.
The video guy was from the local tv station. He had one of these $10,000 professional digital video cameras with the tv station logo on it. Part of the deal was for him to burn the video in VCD and DVD format in additional to VHS immediately the next morning, which probably wasn't a problem for him at the station. We watched the wedding on the plane to Moscow on my portable DVD player. He charged us $100 and he worked from 8 am until 1 am, plus whatever time to burn the discs.
We didn't spend anything on the limo. It was actually just a regular big white car with decorations on it. One of the problems with a real limo is that everyone in the family wanted to drive around in it with us, and we didn't really want that. So in the end we just went with a regular car. Which was a good thing since due to the cold we didn't really drive around that much for the pictures outside. A couple of little vans for everyone else to taxi around in was a great idea.
We made the centerpieces from silk flowers that I had mailed. We bought inexpensive Polish crystal bowls in Vladivostok and with hot glue arranged all the flowers in the bowls. They really looked great. I got some of the good silk flowers when they are on sale at Michael's. We still have a centerpiece in our china cabinet. We gave the rest away after the wedding.
Since we weren't really sure of the wedding date, as it was subject to the when the K-1 interview would be scheduled, we had some trouble with the wedding invitations. The invitations were made here in the US (I recall we had to do the Cyrillic writing as a custom photo rather than typesetting) but we didn't state specifically where or when. You also just never know about anything in Vladivostok for sure until a couple of weeks before. I seem to recall being surprised at how long it takes to get the invitations printed. So the expensive part of the printing was just the general text which we ordered early. Then, when we had the specifics on the date and we were certain on the location, we just printed it on the velum paper from the computer and tied it with gold ribbon to the second page of the invitation.
As far as the legalities and the USCIS - it is just an engagement ceremony, not a wedding. It isn't a legal marriage in Russia, and therefore it isn't recognized as a marriage in the US. However, you do not want to be telling the consular officer about your "wedding" plans in Russia or when you are inspected at the port of entry. They may not know what constitutes a legal wedding in Russia and you don't need them thinking too hard about anything.
When we had the wedding in Texas, I really let my family make all the arrangements. I would say that if your mom wants to help (or do most everything) that it would be very good thing. I found that after we arrived to the US we had a lot of other things to deal with. It is a very stressful time. Simple little things like not knowing a good place to get her hair done for the wedding day can become an all-day culture shock meltdown. Today my wife would jump at the chance of arranging another wedding day (good God she would just love that). But at that particular moment in time, having just arrived and going through the newness of everything, it wasn't the best time. I didn't have any particular need for anything special personally, and neither did she, so we just had a nice quiet church ceremony and a few hours at a reception hall eating and talking to relatives and then we took off (with our presents!).
Muck
