What (is)was your criteria for 'pickin em?

[Teddy KGB]

I'm just trying to get a feel for what emphasis everyone places on when they are searching for a lady on one of the numerous websites available... I guess I can list mine, in terms of what I'm flexible about, and what I'm not. I am 31, well educated, and well established in life, and I know what I want.

Flexible:
Height*
Weight**
Bodytype**
Haircolour***
Minimum age (within reason, you perverts. lol)
Occupation
Drinking
English profeciency
Marital Status (divorced/single)
Desire for children
Profession
Religion
Astrology (really.. who believes in this sh!t)

*I'm a guy of extremes. Either I like them 5'1" or shorter, or 6' tall or taller. I'm 6'4"... I will however consider intermediate heights if she is blisteringly hot.
**She has to be slender and/or athletic. If she weighs more than 100lbs, the balance of that weight had BETTER be in her boobs (kidding!!)
***Haircolour, I prefer redheads far and above anything else, even though natural redheads are almost invariably insane. Also, I prefer when the carpets match the curtains. Besides, if you don't like haircolour, you can change it easily.

Inflexible:
Maximum Age 31
Children (none)
Smoking (no way)

I frequently shock my friends with my eclectic tastes. For instance, they can't understand why I think one girl is hot, then in the same breath, I point out one thats completely different than the first and think she's hot too. Like I've dated girls with almost zero chest to my one gf who sported a pair of 36F's (yes, really.. and she was a size 2)

This is NOT to say I am a superficial prick. But, if this is someone I am potentially (hopefully) going to be spending the balance of my life with, I want her to be easy on the eyes. My method is pretty much this: flick through the profile pictures, favorite the ones I think are attractive for further review, then whittle them down based on if they fail criteria or not. Then write them, and start the 'personality' part of the search. Constructive criticism welcome, I have a GREAT Nomex suit.

[Rvrwind]

TFF... I had only a little criteria...she had to be under 5'5" with long dark hair & blue eyes, redheads were exceptable as long as they were real redheads with green eyes. And she didn't need to be drop dead gorgous but easy on the eyes.
What I found was a blonde an inch taller than me with grey/green eyes!!
And I couldn't be happier!!!
So much for criteria!!!

[Jet]

Well, first I have to say that I never actually set out to "pick 'em", but there were criteria that had to be met before allowing a relationship to develop and progress.

Inflexible:
Had to be able to hold an intelligent conversation (written was fine).
Minimal emotional baggage.
Not alcohol dependent.
Independent personality type.
height/weight proportional

The rest I was flexible on. I was not looking to start a relationship based on the fact that she was supermodel beautiful, a sexual dynamo, or on her income potential down the road.

As we head toward our 5th anniversary, I'm pretty damn happy about our choice to proceed with the relationship 

[chivo]

I am 31, well educated, and well established in life, and I know what I want.

Then why would you care about what anyone else thinks? Learn more about the culture and language.

I think most of us have certain things we will and will not accept and work around that.

Maybe a better question would be "why are YOU looking for a woman from the FSU? And...

Are YOU prepared to do what it takes to find her, because it won't be easy? Finding a woman in the FSU is very easy, finding the right one usually takes time.

Truthfully answering these questions will be the first steps in realistically accomplishing your goal. Good luck.

chivo

[Shadow]

First of all hair colour does frequently change in the FSU so you might find that the carpets are not similar to the curtains unless it was a very thorough paint job. 

My criteria were simple. No children and not too far away from me in age. And a friendly disposition. I managed to find someone that mirrors me in both good and bad habits in an almost scary way, including upbringing.

It is good to have some criteria, but in the end you should think that in about 30 years both of you might be less easy on the eyes than now. Will you change her for a different model if looks fade ? If yes, than go for looks only. If no, better concentrate on finding someone not to look at, but someone you can have breakfast with in 30 years time. You will not be comfortable with someone that does not score in the looks department anyway. 

[Jumper]

While most any list will come off as superficial or elitist..

this "puppy" will do ,as it meets the AKC "breed standard"
(where's my old avatar when i need it)

All people will have some plan , and yes hopefully a set of standards that thier perspective spouse needs to meet..
and  guys should define what they are seeking in a spouse
(you can bet most RW have very clear specifications in mind)

funny thing about that is,, often human relationships dont pan out anything like the people involved invision.
Men fall for the wrong woman, women for the wrong man,, every day.
Seldom do the *lists* individuals have in mind,  mandate  who they end up with?
 life just generally isn't that predicatable ,much less a crazy thing called 'love'?



For what it's worth -
in my case, I did not have  a specific list for FSU women,,
nor did set out to fill a spouse vacancy..

but attributes that  anyone in my life ,who is going to be my best friend
is going to have
1. ethical -  basic moral standards of right and wrong, and treatment of other human beings is going to have to fit my core beliefs.

2.personality- i'm attracted to intelligent, independent , fun, and out going people who make the best effort to  enjoy life, whatever it may throw at them.


as far as looks-

i'm not Brad Pitt , so my "standards" in appereance  are/where simply whom i find attractive.It's prewired, i don't think a person can change who they are , or
whom they are ultimately attracted to..
They either are, or are not , attracted to a certain individual.

Someone i love enough to marry -
 does not have to meet any AKC standard, just simply be attracted to me ,and me to her.
Physical attraction is what initially starts a relationship generally,
but it becomes secondary very quickly, to wether you genuinely enjoy spending time with someone.  


all this said:

the biggest point to keep in mind ?
is that if you are dealing with a RW looking for a genuine relationship..
then its the RW that will do any *picking*
and whose *list* is very likekly quite detailed.

 


she may let you think you did..

[Teddy KGB]

Lol, thats funny you use the AKC breed standard analogy.

I have an AKC standard non-working Seppala line Siberian Husky (can trace his geneaology back to Siberia!). 

Maybe I should go to siberia to find a bride as well?  (ok, I am REALLY kidding here)

In all honesty, above ALL else for me is the face. I have to look at that every single morning when I wake up, messed up makeup and all.. (if i didnt seriously screw up the night before) and if that doesn't pass muster.. then no other redeeming quality that she could have that would make her adequate in my eyes. Shallow? hm.. yep.. but still, it's important to ME.

really.. there is nothing more beautiful in this world than when a woman you love wakes up without (or with messed up) makeup.

[BillyB]

In all honesty, above ALL else for me is the face. I have to look at that every single morning when I wake up, messed up makeup and all.. (if i didnt seriously screw up the night before) and if that doesn't pass muster.. then no other redeeming quality that she could have that would make her adequate in my eyes. Shallow? hm.. yep.. but still, it's important to ME.

Why does a woman need a pretty face? You can put a paper bag over her head to solve the problem. Actually, it's not shallow when you look for an attractive woman. It's silly to recommend to others to marry a person they can't get horny with. But with age, we all lose our beauty and hopefully your future wife will have qualities that will encourage you to stick with her till the end.

My flexibilities and inflexibilites almost mirrors yours. I did write to women older and taller than I and got a good response from those taller women and some older women.

[I/O]

Maybe I should go to siberia to find a bride as well?

You could do worse. There is some spectacluar site seeing there.

I/O

[jb]

There was no criteria,,, all she had to do is show up.

She did the picking.

[timothe]

Back when I was searching, my first criteria was to find women that did not have exposure to foreign men.  I didn't want to meet women who were desperate to leave their country as I assumed (correctly) I could be easily conned by a pretty face and knockout body.  I was very cautious about meeting a woman who was in it for the green card.  

This approach turned out to be both good and bad.  I never met any green card girls, but I did fall in love with two different women who weren't ready to leave their country.  These women were complete opposites.  One was short and sassy with no children and career aspirations.  She was driven and determined to be successful.  The other wanted nothing more than to be a wife and mother.  She was tall, voluptuous, and very passive.  

Teddy, I think these requirements that you have put forth aren't really going to matter when you meet a woman that trips your trigger.  You'll see if you get that far.

[Taz]

If you've read my thread about JD you'll understand the following.

JD's criteria
Breathing
Golf ball - hose
Drapes/curtains-matching set, euro remont
28-34
Does well on oral exams
Wants kids
Good earning potential
Must look good to great in her photos
Able to pass every test he gives her
Must be desperate enough to date him

My criteria
No smoking, drinking or drugs
At least reasonably attractive - I'll know it when I see it IN PERSON! Don't trust photos as they almost always lie
Slender to average build- when they come to the US they get super sized so don't start to large to begin with!
Good personality
Good sense of humor is very important to me
Non-grating voice - you'll be listening to it for a long time, test it in English too
No desperate women need apply

In general think with your big head rather than little. I am not overly picky but I do have a lot of secondary criteria. I did list my major ones though.

[MaxxumUSA]

I'm not sure about all this carpet talk.  Ever consider you might run into a RW with hardwood flooring?

To answer your question I did have certain physical criteria when searching:

1.  Dark hair (Personal preference - don't know why but I have never been into blondes at all)
2.  Not fat  (BTW one of the main reasons I started seeking internationally for a mate is because SO MANY AW are overweight.)
3.  Attractive (To me)

There are millions that fit those attributes.  Beyond the physical was the more importand issues, in order of importance to me:

1.  Not a mental wreck.  Stable and secure with family, work, and friends.
2.  Able to communicate physically.  Likes to touch, be close, things like that.  Yes - includes a decent sex drive.
3.  Friendship.  I wanted to find my soulmate and best friend.  I found her thank God.
4.  A strong - very strong - desire to be married and create a family.

Beyond that - I also wanted to get along good with her family and friends, and her mine.  This worked out also.

Good luck -
- Maxxum

[Gator]

TeddyKGB,

If this is the extent of your criteria, they are too superficial.  Remember that RW are judging you too.  Many are smart and do not want a superficial man.

Your criteria are suitable as a start for screening the thousands of profiles to a manageable number.  But do not keep screening and screening to find the most beautiful. 

A pretty face is nice to look at, but it can make you overlook some more important factors.  Remember, choosing a spouse is probably the most important decision in a person’s life. 

We are all different.   In my case, boredom is my worst punishment so I require someone who is interesting:
 
-  intelligent (abundant in Russia),
-  sense of humor (also abundant but can go over the head of someone reared on MTV humor),
-  personable and loquacious (different in Russia)
-  energetic and spirited,
-  diverse and overlapping but not necessarily common hobbies,
-  life experiences, etc. 

I also seek a solid partner to help me make and undertake important decisions, so again I needed intelligence (especially “street” smarts) plus:

-  honesty,
-  reliability,
-  flexibility (not abundant among RW),
-  sense of purpose (abundant),
-  goals aligned with mine, etc.

There are other qualities important to me.  For example, I require a classy woman, not a village girl, ideally one even having some ethereal qualities. 

Each man needs to think about what he wants in the woman who will hopefully live with him for the rest of his life.  Most important - realize that no person is perfect, especially himself.   

[jb]

Excellent post, Gator.

My point was that men should hope they measure up and meet a good woman's criteria.

A man can propose, but the woman will dispose...  A lot of this stuff is out of our hands.

[BC]

Just to lighten discourse a bit..

-  honesty,
-  reliability,
-  flexibility (not abundant among RW),
-  sense of purpose (abundant),
-  goals aligned with mine, etc.

Reading the above qualities, one of those blow up dolls came to mind.

 


Disclaimer:  to those who peruse this post, be advised that the thoughts were spurious.  I don't want to be accused of sleeping with blow up dolls a year or so down the road.

[catzenmouse]

Don't worry dude. I won't wait more than a week or two to accuse you of that...

Just to lighten discourse a bit..

Reading the above qualities, one of those blow up dolls came to mind.

 


Disclaimer:  to those who peruse this post, be advised that the thoughts were spurious.  I don't want to be accused of sleeping with blow up dolls a year or so down the road.

[BC]

Don't worry dude. I won't wait more than a week or two to accuse you of that...

Well.. ya know it's kinda scary but my thoughts were not quite out of line..

http://dir.salon.com/story/mwt/feature/2005/10/11/real_dolls/index.html

Now lemme tell ya, in a few years these 'bodies' will be able to cook, carry on a somewhat intelligent conversation (Alonia comes to mind) and maybe even really fyck.

How much more 'traditional' can you get?

[Gator]

BC,

You confuse me.  Perhaps this went over my head as I am still recovering from a 2-week holiday.

Perhaps some men seek a sex slave (blowup doll), yet having a real partner beside me is very important to me.

The term “partner” is used so much that it is almost trite.  And I am not sure that many of the men who use the term have an adequate understanding of what it means.   In my past life, I had great partners in business and an inadequate partner in marriage.  I know what I want this time, and I believe fully that she is partner material.  It will take some time and work for her to settle into this role, yet she wants the same.

[BC]

Gator,

Yes I agree it can be quite confusing.  Over the last couple weeks I have seen guys I really respect get waaay too serious about this endeavor.

It's like... well.... I just want to get back to having fun again here at RWD.

Look at it this way..  As a married bloke I have nothing to gain or loose around here except in the eyes of some strangely bearded fellow wearing gypsy hats and dime a dozen arm jewelery.

I've been serious too long..

LOL!

[Gator]

BC,

Fair enough.

[catzenmouse]

Blade Runner comes to mind here.

I'd actually prefer a Holodeck (Star Trek reference for those of you who don't know) so just give me one of those and you'll probably never see or hear from me again! 

Well.. ya know it's kinda scary but my thoughts were not quite out of line..

http://dir.salon.com/story/mwt/feature/2005/10/11/real_dolls/index.html

Now lemme tell ya, in a few years these 'bodies' will be able to cook, carry on a somewhat intelligent conversation (Alonia comes to mind) and maybe even really fyck.

How much more 'traditional' can you get?