Need help with something

[Lee08]

Hello, I hope this is the right place to ask what I need. I've been talking to a lady in Russia for a while now and we talk on her home phone and cell phone, but mainly it's her cell phone because it sounds better. We have just began talking on Skype also but it limits us because she has to be home.
To make a long story short, what I would like to know is if there is a way for me to add minutes or money to her cell phone without her knowing. She lives in Moscow if that helps and I live in the United States. The problem is we talk a lot and send a lot of sms messages back and forth and I somehow get the feeling she may be struggling with buying time on her phone but she will not say anything to me about it. I know she would not accept anything from me.
Any suggestions on how to do this would be appreciated.

[BC]

How long has communications been going on?  If only a short time, I personally wouldn't do it and maybe send her a rose or nice snail-mail postcard instead.

With women in general I have always hesitated before doing things that might be considered too zealous.

What's the joy of fishing if the fish bite all the time.... 

[Blues Fairy]

If you are intent on doing it, here's how:
By her area code, you can determine which carrier she's using (e.g. 903 is normally Beeline, 916 - MTS etc., or simply ask her!) then go to www.e-pos.ru, choose the carrier and follow the instructions for online payment.

[viking]

Blues Fairy

Is there an english version of this site?

[myrddin]

Lee,

First off, it sounds like a good sign that she's not asking for money.  But has she explicitly stated that she would not accept it?  Or is it your perception based on her pride?
 
If she's stated outright that she won't take it, that's one thing.  If it's based on your perception of pride and/or implied by statements, here's my suggestion:

Talk to her about it. 

If you know any of her friends, perhaps they can help you.  You can approach the matter tactfully (you really want to talk to her, to get to know her better without any burdens on her, and dating locally you'd pay for dinners and drinks anyway).  This is about honesty and directness, not money.  And you'll learn something by her reaction.  It sounds like she really wants to keep talking to you, too.

If things go well, you will deal with money issues much more significant than this as a partnership.  The way things go now could be setting a precedent for that future.  I feel very strongly that you do not want to set a precedent of "going behind her back", believe me.  The approach to financial matters was a big part of my divorce, and in hindsight some signs were there early on.

Good luck!

[KenC]

Sorry, myrddin,
I have got to disagree with you here.  I think it is a very cute way to lend the lady a helping hand without making too much of a big deal out of it.  Some of the good women of Russia are too proud to ask for help or to even acknowledge that they cannot afford certain things.  He is not "going behind her back" as much as he is discreatly lending her a helping hand. I, for one, think it is a cool idea.
KenC

[UTRO]

MTS has an English Version of their Site and a Page that I use to SMS Lana's mobile for free when I'm near my computer. Cuts down on the 20 cent Text charge. www.mtsgsm.com/sendsms
If your Lady uses MTS as her Provider Lee, I'm sure you can follow this Link back to their Main Page to find out how to Top Up her Mobile account. Certainly BeeLine and Megafone have English Versions of their Sites too?

[I/O]

Lee: I have concerns you may be jumping the gun a little here, BUT I am all for every possible bit of communication you can muster and if you can pump a few coins directly into her cell phone, then at least you know what it is being used for.

The other side of me rather likes the surprise/romantic play-it-down approach because I know, based on my own experience, that does come across very well with Russian women. I did something slightly similar in so far as I bought a prepaid SIM and had it delivered. For the life of me, I cant remember how I did it and the princess is asleep right now so I ain't gunna wake her to ask.

It was some obscure website that I might have found when searching for flower deliveries or similar. Do a bit of searching and or follow B/F's advice. There is a small chance she will see it as patronising, but if she is half ways sharp as a woman, she'll know we guys trip over our own feet when we try to do something nice.

I just dunno that something which effectively amounts to $ should be a first gift. I have issues with that. Don't ask me why, I just do.

I/O

[Gator]

Lee,

Your idea to add minutes is good. 

An even better idea is to travel to Moscow and meet her.  If you have been talking "for a while", the two of you should be discussing the possibility of a meeting.  If not, why not?

[myrddin]

Sorry, myrddin,
I have got to disagree with you here.  I think it is a very cute way to lend the lady a helping hand without making too much of a big deal out of it.  Some of the good women of Russia are too proud to ask for help or to even acknowledge that they cannot afford certain things.  He is not "going behind her back" as much as he is discreatly lending her a helping hand. I, for one, think it is a cool idea.
KenC

WHAT?!!?  You dare to disagree with me with your ten years of experience and long time presence here?!  I am abhorred!!     

Actually, I agree this shouldn't be a big deal, but pride can be tricky.

I am very curious to see how the ladies here see it.

I just dunno that something which effectively amounts to $ should be a first gift. I have issues with that. Don't ask me why, I just do.

This is along the lines of what I was thinking when I first read the post. 

I did something slightly similar in so far as I bought a prepaid SIM and had it delivered. 

It was some obscure website that I might have found when searching for flower deliveries or similar.

FWIW, I might try sending it with the flowers and a short poem about what talking to her means to me.


Gator makes an excellent point.

[Blues Fairy]

Blues Fairy
Is there an english version of this site?

Nope.  Apparently one also needs to register an account with them in order to use it.

It also ought to be mentioned that all incoming calls to Russian cell phones are free (Lee08, that's FYI).

[Lee08]

Thank you very much for all your advice and suggestions. I think I know the way now.

Lee,
An even better idea is to travel to Moscow and meet her.  If you have been talking "for a while", the two of you should be discussing the possibility of a meeting.  If not, why not?

I already have trip planned for 2 weeks in May.

I just dunno that something which effectively amounts to $ should be a first gift. I have issues with that. Don't ask me why, I just do.
I/O

I think any gift amounts to money, does not really matter what it is.

It also ought to be mentioned that all incoming calls to Russian cell phones are free (Lee08, that's FYI).

Thanks but I know this. Our problem is the sms messages.

Thanks again for your input. It would be interesting for me to see what the ladies here say about this.