Not just older WM with younger FSU women

[Pike]

We see a lot of posts here about silly games that young FSU women play with older western  men.  However, yesterday, I witnessed  the same with a pair of young FSU.  We were spending the afternoon at the Outdoor Museum in the south part of Kyiv.

My gal and I encountered a young man and his young woman arguing very loudly along one of the trails.  She was holding her cell phone and he was doing most of the yelling.  My gal interpreted for me:

He:  Why are you talking on your mobile with another man.
She: He is just a friend.
He: Why are you talking with another man when you are on a date with me.
She: This is not a date, we are just spending time together.
He: This is a date.  I consider it a date.  I invited you, paid our bus fare here, paid for tickets, etc.
She: But we are just friends.
He: I care for you very much.
She: But I need to have other friends.
He: But why must you talk to them, particularly other men, when on a date with  me.
She: We are not on a date.
etc.,
etc.,

[Jumper]

Pike while her behaviour is perhaps rude..

just like some silly western men,,
some RM will continue to pursue ,spending their time and  money, on a girl not really
romantically interested in them..

(i would bet that is NOT,  the first sign she gave him)

 A good portion of the blame falls squarely on him, for the situation.

[Misha]

just like some silly western men,,
some RM will continue to pursue ,spending their time and  money, on a girl not really
romantically interested in them..

(i would bet that is NOT,  the first sign she gave him)

 A good portion of the blame falls squarely on him, for the situation.

I agree with you AJ.

That was my wife's experience. She told one guy that she would NEVER marry him and would never love him. He still pursued her unsuccessfully for three years.

The problem with guys, Western and Russian, is that they think that if they shower a woman with gifts and attention long enough, that she will eventually fall for them. Happens rarely if ever. If she hasn't fallen for you in the first few minutes, it is not likely to ever happen.

[Faux Pas]

I agree with you AJ.

That was my wife's experience. She told one guy that she would NEVER marry him and would never love him. He still pursued her unsuccessfully for three years.

The problem with guys, Western and Russian, is that they think that if they shower a woman with gifts and attention long enough, that she will eventually fall for them. Happens rarely if ever. If she hasn't fallen for you in the first few minutes, it is not likely to ever happen.

I beg to differ. That window in most cases is longer than the first few minutes. But I do agree with you in that most people, men or women, east or west reach a point of no return with anyone in a romantic sense. Where that point actually is could depend on any number of variables and largely on the person.

[Misha]

I beg to differ. That window in most cases is longer than the first few minutes. But I do agree with you in that most people, men or women, east or west reach a point of no return with anyone in a romantic sense. Where that point actually is could depend on any number of variables and largely on the person.

Yes, there are exceptions. However, it is risky IMHO to stay in a relationship in the hopes that the "chemistry" will happen eventually. This was the mistake that I made with my first marriage: I thought that I would eventually feel it, but it never did. I decided that I would make sure the next time to feel those emotions before getting married and make sure that my future wife would also fall in love with me. For this reason, I preferred to wait and find someone where things would "click" immediately, than sticking to a relationship where it might happen sooner or later.

[DKMM]

Nonsense.  Any unmarried woman can be won over.  Not with gifts or showing off and not the way the poor guy on the trail did, but it can be done (and he still has a chance with her if he changes his game).  The cut off point is more like a year... if she's really worth it! 

[Misha]

Nonsense.  Any unmarried woman can be won over.  Not with gifts or showing off and not the way the poor guy on the trail did, but it can be done (and he still has a chance with her if he changes his game).  The cut off point is more like a year... if she's really worth it! 

Yes, she can be "won over" in the sense that her rational mind will say "yes, this is a guy I should be dating" and perhaps won over in the sense that she will get used to you and will grow fond of you. But do you really think that a woman will suddenly fall in love a year later? Again, I am talking about that falling in love that is associated with the chemicals surging in your brains that people usually call "chemistry." The BBC has a nice piece on the Science of Love. This is what they say: "It can take between 90 seconds and 4 minutes to decide if we fancy someone." The stages tend to be lust, attraction and attachment. I guess you could find a woman who won't be attracted to you, but I for one preferred to find a woman who did find me attractive from the first moment we met, rather than having to grow on her. Likewise, I wanted a woman that I would be attracted to immediately.

[Pike]

Yes, she can be "won over" in the sense that her rational mind will say "yes, this is a guy I should be dating" and perhaps won over in the sense that she will get used to you and will grow fond of you. But do you really think that a woman will suddenly fall in love a year later? Again, I am talking about that falling in love that is associated with the chemicals surging in your brains that people usually call "chemistry." The BBC has a nice piece on the Science of Love. This is what they say: "It can take between 90 seconds and 4 minutes to decide if we fancy someone." The stages tend to be lust, attraction and attachment. I guess you could find a woman who won't be attracted to you, but I for one preferred to find a woman who did find me attractive from the first moment we met, rather than having to grow on her. Likewise, I wanted a woman that I would be attracted to immediately.

I don't quite agree with your latter sentences.  I don't see the need for immediate attraction.  I can recall cases in my youth where either I was not attracted at all to a young girl or she was not attracted to me.  But later, in a different setting, after some time we were attracted to each other.  This has repeated itself in more recent  years also.  Sometimes fluke circumstances, either party being in a bad mood, hearing just bits of a persons's conversation with someone else, etc., etc., can give a negative impression of someone.  Later, in a different light, entirely different impressions ensue.  I  have been on double dates where I couldn't stand the other girl; later after a reintroduction of sorts, we dated and became very close.

[Misha]

I don't quite agree with your latter sentences.  I don't see the need for immediate attraction.  I can recall cases in my youth where either I was not attracted at all to a young girl or she was not attracted to me.  But later, in a different setting, after some time we were attracted to each other.

Again, there may be exceptions, but my experience is a bit different. If I didn't fall for a woman in the first week, I was not likely to do it a few months or a few years later. Also, I did date one woman that I adored, however, the feeling was not shared, and weeks later it was still not there. Why put a lot of time and energy pursuing a woman who has no feelings for you and likely won't have any in a few weeks or for months? From my perspective, I realized that it was not worth it pursuing a woman who was not into me at the very beginning. Yes, banging your head against a wall may cause the building to collapse under the right circumstances, but more than likely it will just give you a headache