Two Weeks After Arrival

[Photo Guy]

BC,
Hey whatever it takes to keep things on track.

Maybe we won't need a  jump-start. I'm learning Russian. She's learning English. If there's what Led Zeppelin called a 'Communication Breakdown', I will resort to translation services,  ...and maybe even an Orthodox priest. It may be a tough challenge, but that won't make me throw up my hands and walk away.

[Voyageur]

This is an update some newer details on my situation. There have been a few bumps in the road, everything could not go on in a complete bliss in a real life, But honestly, the problems have come from my end - family situations and some thoughtless behavior on my part on occasion. Really, many of the traits discussed by Clyde and others - on this and other forums - I have found to be true. It is certainly true about being blunt. Also, the concept of an American budget - with the mortgage and bills - is rather an abstract concept, even after going through details.  Especially the difference between a Debit Card and a Credit Card.

I like the idea of stating what is available to be spent each week, this seems to work the best way. Of course, I have completely disclosed the household budget early in our relationship, when I was visiting her in Russia, but really, only now does the actual situation seem real. I did underestimate the cost of new items upon her arrival, such as a new car, car insurance, items around the house, costs for getting married, costs for health club, new cell, etc..  I had lived in the house by myself for five years and had complete set of linens and dishes. But every woman wants to add her touch to her house, and my fiancée is no different. Each day I am at work, she clean very thoroughly another room, and has a big pile of trash or unwanted blankets/pillows waiting for me to take out each day.  We did buy new lines, but we did not buy everything that Clyde bought.  We will buy the rest when the budget allows it. Each night, she has a great supper waiting for me when I get home and she is dressed beautifully. It is obvious that she really cares for me and her new house, and this care is really wonderful.  She has made some new friends but still, mostly she only talks to me.  She calls her friends and family every other day, she set all of these schedules herself, not me.  The main difference in the attitude of RW and my experience with AW is in the care she shows towards me and the happiness she has in creating her home - whether it is cooking breakfast or cleaning the dishes (the dishwasher was not highly regarded at first, but is now being used more often).

Even with all of this, you must have a great deal of patience sometimes and remember everything she has given up to be with you.  After a day at work, often you would just like to relax upon returning home, but it is her time to talk about life and future plans. The differences in the cultures are very pronounced and of course many, many things are much better in Russia than in the US ';).  Each night, we go out to drive her car. She has progressed fairly well, but there are still some rather "exciting " events that liven up  many of the rides ':)'
.  She does not have too high an opinion of AW in general, but she has met a few that she holds in high regard.

I look forward to the day that she has some sort of job to occupy herself with. I make a good living, we do not need the money per se, but it would be helpful. She wants to find a part time job as maybe a shop assistant in a good clothes or jewelry store. She is very interested in clothes and cosmetics and was impressed with some of the shops in the "high-end" mall nearby. Her daughter will be joining us after the Advance Parole is approved, we are hoping this will be in the January 2006 timeframe.

I agree with KenC (in another thread), that Turboguy seems very prepared and committed to his relationship. He has already been through a great deal with Luda - a situation that could have easily ended many lesser relationships.  And I really hope Son of Clyde continues to post if he is comfortable, it has helped me and I am sure that these details will also help others.  That is why I am posting also.

[Son of Clyde]

Voyageur, something I really like about my gal is that she likes to dress casual and wears jeans most of the time. When she dresses up, which is rare, she looks incredible. Actually, she looks incredible in t shirt and jeans.

We have decided to dress up for our wedding. We are buying new jeans and t shirts for the occasion. It will be a simple ceremony at the courthouse. Neither of us wanted a big wedding. In the future we will renew our vows in a church if she wants this. If her mother visits us it might be a good idea.

[Turboguy]

That was a good post Voyager.   I am sure it would be nice to live in a constant Utopia but I am also sure non of us expect that.    If there is any thoughts in the bumps in the road and unintentional thoughtlessness on your part that we can learn from please feel free to pass it along.   I am always happy to learn from someone else's mistake if possible.   If not that is fine too.

I am glad a dishwasher is not a high priority.  Mine is still sitting in a box in the middle of the kitchen floor.   (actually it is in the corner, I just finally got the table in the kitchen and had to move the dishwasher)   It is one of those things I have not gotten to yet.   Today I am taking off work to "get to" a few more of those things but there won't be time to get the dishwasher in.   I could use a few more weeks but I have only 24 more hours.

I guess I am lucky in some ways that I just moved into this house and if she feels like shopping for some linens we need them anyway.   I think it will be a while before Luda wants to drive.   She seems scared to death of the idea but I am going to be looking for a car anyway.   I think Luda would like a convertable and I like those so...  I think when she starts driving I will trade the convertable for a used Sherman tank.   At least when she wrecks she will be in one piece. 

I just had a message from her.   Her frends from work had a party for her last night.   Her message was that she had a nice evening last night.   She hoped it was not the last nice evening of her life.   (I am not sure if that was her fear of flying or her concern for what she may be getting herself into but she does crack me up often)

Son of Clyde.   It is nice that you both like to dress casual.  That was funny about your wedding.    To me the Russian gals I have met don't seem too into casual.    I spend my days here in the USA wearing jeans.   When I went to visit Luda I wore them probably 40% of the time or less.   I got chewed out by a gal in St Petersburg last year for wearing jeans and it left me a little self consious about that.   Basically we decided to go for a walk with our interpreter, then we decided to have dinner when we were walking, then we decided to go dancing.  After the dancing place I was told in no uncertain terms I had embarrased her by being in Jeans and sneakers in the dancing place.  Of course had I known we were going I would have dressed differently.  Funny, spent 5 days with that gal and I can't even remember her name now.   Can't say I really want to anyway.   The one thing I do remember about her was that we talked about going for a walk.   The gal said she did not like to walk that she liked to spend her time sitting on the couch, drinking beer and smoking cigarettes.   Sounds like a fun life to me.  Sure.

 

[Son of Clyde]

Most of what is in her diet I can't or don't have any desire to eat such as potato chips, sour cream, buttermilk, salt pork (salo). Last night she saw pig ears in the grocery store and said they are a delicassy in Ukraine. Yecch!

She feeds me bread, pasta and other carbs so it looks like I have to get back to the spa to work of the calories and burn some fat off.

I found the perfect gal in other ways, I love to wear jeans.