Experienced men, please answer my questions.

[rockyb_1]

Hello, I have not posted much in this forum.  I have been searching russian/ukraine dating sites for just over 4 months now. I am talking with 3 excellent women at this time.  Mind you the time difference is terrible and sometimes I have to wake up at 6am to chat with them which I do fine anyways because its before work.

Well I have seen 2/3 on web cam.  One went away from school in Keiv to back home where she has no internet.  I have all of there cell phone #'s and talk to them text/on the phone.  The one I havn't seen on cam seems the best by far, she sends me pictures of her on her skiing trip and all sorts of other places. 

One girl now wants my home address to write me a letter.  Is this safe to do, I trust all 3 of these women but not 100% .. LOL, basically how do I tell a scammer?  What should I watch out for?

Mind you I'm a young lad only 23, very good looking and for some reason I am drawn to Russian/Ukraine women.... I have no problem getting women back home here in Canada. 

I love there voice, the way they think differently... but yea... scammers? how do I tell?

[viking]

Giving out private info, like a credit card number, is one thing but your home address? You ask them for theirs right? So she wants to write you a letter or send you a card. A good thing. But if she writes that she needs money or help of some sort, that is a different matter. You cannot be scammed if you never send money. And do not fall in love with a photo, or a voice. I once met a woman who was a telemarketer. She sounded wonderful on the phone, BUT she was about 75 years old!!!

[rockyb_1]

well yes you are right I don't know what to think!! But damn these girls are sooo amazing and sweet, specially the one from Ukraine... wow she is the sweetest girl I have ever met in my life, she is only 18, turning 19... I remember she told me a story about her and her parents trip Egypt and some guy asked her dad to for her hand in marriage for a camel in return and her dad replied "every camel in the world would not be worth it" hahaha I laughed so hard...  I have not spoke to her in 3 weeks due to her being out in the boonies or whatever... I can't wait till she goes back to school.... she took pics of her all around Keiv... and at her apartment for me... amazing. 

But off topic, the girl from russia that I have seen on cam wants to send me letters... I was thinking of opening a PO Box just so I could stay safe... I always mentioned scammer to her and she just laughed... lol

why cant canadians girls be as down to earth as these girls?  All canadian girls wanna do is drink, party and have sex, like where is the religious ones? Oh ya, they're all taken unless I steel them from there boyfriends... ya rly... k sorry Im done my rant haha

But yea I will give her my address then, hopefully i dont receive any anthrax. lmao.

[steviej]

Rocky, sounds like you've had enough letters and phone calls that there's no reason not give your address. The lady wants to try to verify you are real, the same as you would with her. Probably a good sign.

You're only 23? Man, that seems very young to me to be getting involved in this international relations business. Are you serious that you've reached a point in your life where you feel serious about marriage? I ask because many though not all of these ladies are at that point. That is, they are looking for the right man, and if they find him, they are probably thinking they would like to get married. Maybe that's not true for the 18-19 yrs old girls. Although in Russia marrying at 19 is not so unusual.

You need to be aware that this takes a lot of money too. Read the thread "how much income is required" something like that. It's a big responsibiliity. If you're up to it, that's great. I've been married more than 5 years, and there's no woman in the USA lilke my Russian wife, that's for sure.

[2tallbill]

Rocky, if they don't ask for money / expensive gifts then they are most likely not
scammers. You're a young guy and most likely looking at even younger women. So,
make the trip as if you are on a vacation.  You can learn more about the country,
language, culture, foods etc on your trip.

You have all the time in the world, so take your time. Personally I don't think many
men 23 years old (or women for that matter) are really ready for marriage. You might
find someone you like or not but enjoy the experience, go out and smell the roses.

Udachi

Bill

[BC]

With the address she can use google maps to check out your neighborhood in many places.. LOL

[SANDRO43]

I love there voice, the way they think differently... but yea... scammers? how do I tell?

Have a look at our Scam Card in the "Scam Avoidance" menu at left .

[Jumper]

One girl now wants my home address to write me a letter.  Is this safe to do,

Very few *scammers* are going to write you snail mail.. LOL
and fewer are going to care about where you actually live.

She just wants to write you  a real letter or note,and like BC mentions mayb ewants to google earth your address  to see where you are at .. interesting to her and maybe she can learn simething about the area..


seems very legit.


 Eygpts a common holiday destination for Ukrainians..

[diverboy70]

I think you are pretty safe! Scammers usually don't want you to call them, they don't really have time for that!

What is your gut feeling after your talks with her? I think you allready know if she is a scammer or not! Don't be too paranoid, most girls are not scammers and as long as you don't send her any money you will not be scammed!

I wouldn't really worry about giving up my postal adress, I mean what bad can she do to you with that?

After a while you really get a nose for the scammers. Have you once communicated with sincere RW, you will spot the scammers a mile away! But I can understand your concern, we all have to go through those stumbling steps in this proces!

Good luck!

[Misha]

One girl now wants my home address to write me a letter.  Is this safe to do, I trust all 3 of these women but not 100% .. LOL, basically how do I tell a scammer?  What should I watch out for?

On the sites for Russian women looking for foreign husbands, they advise them to get a man's home address. With a name and home address you can check out many things: 1) use google earth to check out the house (is it a nice house in a nice house in a nice suburb or a single-wide in a trailer park) 2) run a credit check using a number of companies.

[steviej]

On the sites for Russian women looking for foreign husbands, they advise them to get a man's home address. With a name and home address you can check out many things: 1) use google earth to check out the house (is it a nice house in a nice house in a nice suburb or a single-wide in a trailer park) 2) run a credit check using a number of companies.

A credit check ? Are you sure ? Man, that just sucks if its true. Only in US do we think business is so important that we allow services to sell information, and this would be to anyone from any country in the world, to access personal information like that???

It's time to go underground ... 

[Misha]

A credit check ? Are you sure ? Man, that just sucks if its true. Only in US do we think business is so important that we allow services to sell information, and this would be to anyone from any country in the world, to access personal information like that???

It's time to go underground ... 

There are a lot of sites that allow you to run a background check for an individual if you know their name and address. Here is one example of such a site: http://www.peoplerecords.com. If a woman has your name, address and phone number, she can look up:  Marriage records, Divorce records, Birth records, Military records, Real property records, Business records, Court records, Civil records, Criminal records, Bankruptcy records, Asset records, Spouse records, Sex offender registry records, Tax lien records, etc... Some are better, some are cheaper, but they all do the same thing: look up a person's background with simply a name and address. Cost ranges from $5 to $50 depending on the company.


This is the site that was recommended by the Russian-language site for women seeking husbands abroad: http://www.intelius.com/.   

[ConnerVT]

Getting a credit check on someone really isn't hard to do.  The most difficult part is getting someones Social Security number, and knowing at least one of their recent addresses.  Then you can get one from any of the major credit reporting companies.

It is against the law to get another person's credit report without their authorization, but that only applies inside the USA.

More common is getting a background check.  That will have a credit check component, but not as detailed as a standard FICO credit report.  It will show any bankruptcies, garnished wages, foreclosures, etc.  It will also list criminal convictions, outstanding warrants; current/prior employment; former military service; and some other things I can't remember off the top of my head.  (Check out this link, it lists quite a few things: http://background-check-services-review.toptenreviews.com/ )

A Google search of background check service gets you over 6 million hits...

[viking]

In the past, several posters had brought up the subject of having a agency/detective/organization check into the background of the woman they were writting to. Is this her real address, does she have a boy friend, etc. With very few exceptions the posters were shot down with the number one reason being if you cannot trust the woman, then look some place else. Would not the same logic apply to an RW doing a background check on her guy.? The google thing about looking where he lives is ok. And I have even gone so for as to capture a photo of my home on google earth and email to her so she could see my relative proximity to the ocean. Trust and honesty is paramount in a relationship.

[ConnerVT]

 Доверяй, но проверяй

Trust, but verify.   

[Misha]

More common is getting a background check. 

You are right, I mixed up credit and background check in my quote. I was, however, surprised at how much information you can get with an online background check, and I did not learn about it until I read the Russian-language sites where women were giving each other advice as to how to dig up the dirt on potential fiances  :evil:

[Misha]

In the past, several posters had brought up the subject of having a agency/detective/organization check into the background of the woman they were writting to. Is this her real address, does she have a boy friend, etc. With very few exceptions the posters were shot down with the number one reason being if you cannot trust the woman, then look some place else. Would not the same logic apply to an RW doing a background check on her guy.? The google thing about looking where he lives is ok. And I have even gone so for as to capture a photo of my home on google earth and email to her so she could see my relative proximity to the ocean. Trust and honesty is paramount in a relationship.

Well, from what I gathered the Russian language sites do much to educate their compatriots. Given that many women fly off to another country to be with a man that they may have met once and spent a week with, they might be wise in getting a background check before they go. It is probably better for all involved if she finds out he lives in a trailer and she was vying for a mansion.

[steviej]

You are right, I mixed up credit and background check in my quote. I was, however, surprised at how much information you can get with an online background check, and I did not learn about it until I read the Russian-language sites where women were giving each other advice as to how to dig up the dirt on potential fiances  :evil:

Well Misha, this is an eye opener extraordinaire !! Only in America!! Think about it, in our counties, we sensibly had public records of certain things which were accessible to other residents of the counties. This was primariliy because they were also citizens and tax payers in that county. So, real estate transactions, criminal charges, divorce, etc. which require "public" declarations.

BUT ...... Now the internet. Counties and government bodies in US have moved all the information into DBs that are accessible via internet. This was to better serve the residents of their counties on line.

HOWEVER .... The internet has no boundaries, does it? Any government official in China can pay and get all the information online available about any American citizen they want. Since in the US, the only "value" is business, this will not stop. That is, there are enough vested interests in selling information about Americans globally now, that I doubt it could be reversed.

Gasp .... gasp .... the straight jacket continues to tighten. Americans, having lived on our enormous island, free from the intrusions, corruptions and invasions of the rest of the world, are simply naive beyond description. Yes, smart, hardworking, productive and ... NAIVE !!!

Oh by the way, for the OP, are we experienced guys answering all your questions ??     (sorry if I drifted off too much here    ) (Wait, isn't that half the fun anyway ..      )

[Misha]

And, on the Russian-language site, they also gave advice as to how to ask the man to give them their address: tell him that you want to send him a souvenir or a small gift and you want to mail it to him 

[Shadow]

In the past, several posters had brought up the subject of having a agency/detective/organization check into the background of the woman they were writting to. Is this her real address, does she have a boy friend, etc. With very few exceptions the posters were shot down with the number one reason being if you cannot trust the woman, then look some place else. Would not the same logic apply to an RW doing a background check on her guy.? The google thing about looking where he lives is ok. And I have even gone so for as to capture a photo of my home on google earth and email to her so she could see my relative proximity to the ocean. Trust and honesty is paramount in a relationship.

The main reason is that in Russia a background check is not as easy as in the US or Europe.
There are two ways. One is consulting the granny's that live around the woman's address and know more than the FSB.
The second one is writing whatever the guy seems to want to hear.