Questions from a newbie - HELP!

[plazzw00]

I am an American, age 41, never married, decent-looking guy, and have dated women typically averaging 30 - 35 years old of recent, here in the USA. I have been to Ukraine & Russia about 6 trips, and have dated women from classified ads, agencies, bride.ru, freepersonals.ru, match.com, etc... Like many, I am looking for a good family-oriented woman, preferably without kids, though would certainly consider a woman with 1 or 2 kids. Thus far, I have managed to run into younger (mid to late 20's) women who are insincere & not serious for marrying a foreign man and moving to his country, in fact most seem to only be "curious". And finding a good woman from ages 30 - 35 in the FSU seems much more difficult in terms of quality & quantity. So,
I have read some of the postings on RWD, and from personal experience, it seems that pursuing a FSU woman is at the very least a risky proposition. I look at dating a FSU woman as an option, not the "fantasy wonderland" that many agencies portray it as. With that, I want to make my odds as best possible, so what is the best way "in general" to go forward? Many guys say here to just be yourself, while others say to Be aggressive or be assertive, be a REAL man, must have sex by the 2nd week, must meet the parents soon, etc etc... I know that there is no "one" method that works for all, but exactly just what are FSU women (who truly seek an international man) looking for in their man? Must he be rich? Is a good stable middle-class guy accepted? I know I'm touching on a lot of different areas here, but I have found the FSU marriage scene to be much more complex than it has been portrayed by many articles on the internet. Even a good guy can lose direction & confidence due to factors that are beyond his control. So, please, I ask for all advice on this complex subject.... Thanks

P.S. One other note; Just as there are false myths from the American side, I have seen many false myths & perceptions by FSU woman (about Americans). The FSU women that I have met seem to have this view that by virtue of being American, that I automatically am considered "rich" and live in some fancy penthouse, and have money to burn. In my observation this perception is becoming more common in Ukraine & Russia. Does this make the FSU even less of a serious option for an American looking for a good family-oriented woman?

[Doll]

I have managed to run into younger (mid to late 20's) women who are insincere & not serious for marrying a foreign man and moving to his country, in fact most seem to only be "curious". And finding a good woman from ages 30 - 35 in the FSU seems much more difficult in terms of quality & quantity. 

I am more than sure there are thousands and thousands of women in the FSU who really are looking for marriage (mid 20's and up).

The FSU women that I have met seem to have this view that by virtue of being American, that I automatically am considered "rich" and live in some fancy penthouse, and have money to burn. In my observation this perception is becoming more common in Ukraine & Russia.

Probably you only pick the women who think so but generally this is not true.

[steviej]

Hey plazzw00. You say you have already made 6 visits, and have dated FSUW from all different sources and avenues. What's striking to me about your post, then, is how much "at the beginning" your confusion sounds. What happened on all these dates? It sounds like you met many women, many of whom, given your sources, are probably sincere about finding a good man for marriage, as Doll says. Did any long term relationship develop with any of them? To be honest, I'm not expert, but it seems to me via many of the guys here that by the time they'd finished 6 visits, many were already married, or perhaps engaged anyway. Really, there must be something you're not doing right, and I think it must be in the preliminary selection process somehow ??

[vwrw]

I know that there is no "one" method that works for all, but exactly just what are FSU women (who truly seek an international man) looking for in their man? Must he be rich? Is a good stable middle-class guy accepted? ...

There are as many answers to this questions as women who truly seek an international man. Each woman has her own, unique set of characteristic that she would like to find in her future husband.

In my observation this perception is becoming more common in Ukraine & Russia. Does this make the FSU even less of a serious option for an American looking for a good family-oriented woman?

In my observation this perception is increasingly becoming less common in Russia.
To my mind the word “rich” is a relative term.  For example I could say that a man is rich if he has income in exceed of 120,000.00$ , has assets in exceed of 3,000,000.00$ and at least 80-90% of the assets are owner’s equity, not liability. However, there is a lot of women in FSU who could refer to a man as rich if he has an average (by American standard) house, an average car and other attributes of a stable middle-class American guy. Therefore, I would recommend to ask the woman who you (will) find to be a promising perspective to describe what she considers to be a rich man.

..I am looking for a good family-oriented woman,...

Would you care to elaborate on what a good family-oriented woman constitutes of (from your personal perspective)? What are the “ingredients”, qualities that make a woman to be the good family-oriented woman in your consideration? 

[Gator]

I am an American, age 41, never married, decent-looking guy, and have dated women typically averaging 30 - 35 years old of recent, here in the USA. I have been to Ukraine & Russia about 6 trips, and have dated women from classified ads, agencies, bride.ru, freepersonals.ru, match.com, etc...

You have used all resources, yet have struck out.  Stevie makes a good point that something is wrong with how you select the women to meet and how you choose whom to date more than once.  

Are you choosing the hottest women?  They have a lot of attention from RM and AM.  Many tend to be professional daters, and many expect a man to worship them simply because they are beautiful.  They also seek men with money, and they know how to determine if you have money.  

Please describe the last three women you met. Describe how they look, their education, their job, their hobbies?  How many dates did you have and what did you do?  What makes you think they were only curious and not interested in something longer?  

Like many, I am looking for a good family-oriented woman, preferably without kids, though would certainly consider a woman with 1 or 2 kids.

Do not avoid the women with children.  I found them to have solid family values.  Also, RW with children are mostly avoided by RM, so your competition with local studs is minimal.  

Many guys say here to just be yourself

Please be yourself unless you are starting a needed makeover, which you may need (see below).  

while others say to Be aggressive or be assertive, be a REAL man, must have sex by the 2nd week, must meet the parents soon, etc etc...

"must by the 2nd week" sounds like a weak man.   If a RW likes you, it is normal to have sex by the third date if not sooner.  There is not a lot of time so things progress rapidly if the two of you like each other.  RW expect the man to initiate almost everything, including sex, and if you are waiting until the second week she may think that you have little interest in her or that you are not a real man.  If not too personal, describe generally what has happened with regard to sex.

You will meet her parents if she likes you PERIOD.

Finally, have you been married before?  Have children?   Many RW subscribe to a theory that there is something "wrong" with a man who has never been married by 40.

 

I know that there is no "one" method that works for all, but exactly just what are FSU women (who truly seek an international man) looking for in their man? ...Is a good stable middle-class guy accepted?

Not only acceptable, but ideal to many.

[diverboy70]

I must agree with Steviej here!

If you have made 6 trips you should have got more than a clue about FSU women!

I think there is no "one personality" that will win the hearts of every FSUW. I know from my own experience that Im not the typical "strong man" but my girl fell for my "soft" personality. Don't fall for the myth that all FSU want the same kind of men. Find the woman that is in to your personality and who's personality you are in to! After all it is just plain and simple dating between a man and a woman Follow your feelings, you will know when you have struck gold

[Shadow]

What strikes me is that you claim the women are not 'serious' about leaving for a foreign country.
How exactly did you experience this ?

[Ben Armen]

Plazz,

Most agencies rank women by popularity.  When you are picking from the top 20% you are getting women that are very selective or worse, the PD.  I would go through a site by popularity and take the top 20% and toss them in the trash.  It's the Ukraine, an 8 in the Ukraine is still an 11 in America.  When you do this, the following will happen: You will get women that are not called often and are eager to meet you, You will meet 10's with bad profile pictures, these experiences will not happen as much.

I am about the same age as you, gone to as many trips, it is a numbers game, you just keep going, and it will happen for you.

[OlgaH]

I am an American, age 41, never married, decent-looking guy, and have dated women typically averaging 30 - 35 years old of recent, here in the USA.

Hi plazzw00 and welcome.

What problems were with that American 30 - 35 years old women?  May be you should try to date younger American women (mid to late 20's)