The Truth About a Lie in My Trip Report

[ScottinCrimea]

stevie, as a general rule, it's bad to tell a lie.  I believe lies of "commission" are worse than lies of ommission, Coming clean was  a manly thing to do, especially if you had no reason to believe that anyone would ever suspect. (I hope this wasn't the motivation).  Having said that, I don't think anyone thinks less of you for embellishing a bit other than to question why you would feel the need to do this.  On the other hand, it puts you in a bit of a situation where you have to be a bit more careful in the future because if anyone detects that this is a pattern rather than a one time abberation it won't be a good thing.

I've heard your explanations about why you wrote what you did and I can accept it, but it's not the way I felt at all.  I, too was a WOVO, happily married to the first RW I ever met.  I was pretty upfront about my experience and mine was perhaps the most bizarre, risky route I could have taken.  Heck, my relationship with my wife came about as a result of another woman using her photos to scam me.  You name just about every mistake in the book and I made it.  Nothing that I would advise others to do, but nothing to apologize for, either, as I had the luck of the fool on my side.

[BillyB]

I am no saint and never have been but I'm no liar either .

   I don't label someone a liar just because they lied. Some who do it more often should get the label. When a guy doesn't show up for work on time and gives an excuse, I don't give much thought on if he's telling the truth or not but there's only so much excuses I'll take before I figure out he's not reliable. Some people may not or try not to lie in normal everyday life but when they have real pressure or even in a life and death situation, they'll lie for their benefit. There was a poster here one hugely respected and still is and said he never lies. When ask if he once said anything racist about me, he said "no" and of course he lied. Instead of telling the truth and getting his image tarnished, he decided to protect his credibility and keep the respect he has among the many here.
   Faux Pas, you are human and you can fall under certain circumstances. Those who think they are perfect in any area of their life are lying to themself. Make no mistake, lying shouldn't be accepted and there should repercussions for ones actions. Stevie's credibility is not going to be the same but let those who have not sinned cast the first stone at him. Whatever his motivations were for coming clean, hope it's sincere, I don't know but at least he went public with it instead of just confessing to a priest or in a prayer to be forgiven. He's trying to make right with those he did wrong.

[Gator]

Stevie,

I did not read all of this and am somewhat confused; however, I think I understand.  Your embellishment did not change your story that much.  IIRC, you were focused on Ulyana regardless of whether you had met another woman or not.   Why am I reminded of Jimmy Carter committing adultery in his heart?

Stevie, for you to come clean shows that you really like us and this forum (and that you had good parents).

Will we ever know if your confession is because you could not sleep at night or because you were not getting "any" at night (the latter being the mspanky theory)?

Anyway, I have enjoyed your participation and feel that you are a splendid addition to the membership.  Stick around.

[Admin]

Stevie,

I did not read all of this and am somewhat confused; however, I think I understand.  Your embellishment did not change your story that much.  IIRC, you were focused on Ulyana regardless of whether you had met another woman or not.   Why am I reminded of Jimmy Carter committing adultery in his heart?

Stevie, for you to come clean shows that you really like us and this forum (and that you had good parents).

Will we ever know if your confession is because you could not sleep at night or because you were not getting "any" at night (the latter being the mspanky theory)?

Anyway, I have enjoyed your participation and feel that you are a splendid addition to the membership.  Stick around.

^
^
Ditto

- Dan

[Faux Pas]

   I don't label someone a liar just because they lied. Some who do it more often should get the label. When a guy doesn't show up for work on time and gives an excuse, I don't give much thought on if he's telling the truth or not but there's only so much excuses I'll take before I figure out he's not reliable. Some people may not or try not to lie in normal everyday life but when they have real pressure or even in a life and death situation, they'll lie for their benefit. There was a poster here one hugely respected and still is and said he never lies. When ask if he once said anything racist about me, he said "no" and of course he lied. Instead of telling the truth and getting his image tarnished, he decided to protect his credibility and keep the respect he has among the many here.
   Faux Pas, you are human and you can fall under certain circumstances. Those who think they are perfect in any area of their life are lying to themself. Make no mistake, lying shouldn't be accepted and there should repercussions for ones actions. Stevie's credibility is not going to be the same but let those who have not sinned cast the first stone at him. Whatever his motivations were for coming clean, hope it's sincere, I don't know but at least he went public with it instead of just confessing to a priest or in a prayer to be forgiven. He's trying to make right with those he did wrong.

Billy, I never labeled stevie a liar. I assume that is what your eluding too. In fact I gave him kudos for coming clean. I thought it took some character to admit it, whatever his reason. I have in no way claimed any infallibility in my life. I stated I don't lie and I stand behind it. As Topofthekey mentioned there are shades of gray in this area. I agree with that. I don't see telling deliberate lies or fabrications as necessary. But thats just me and the way I prefer to live my life. That doesn't make me a saint or perfect. I value my word and put a high premium on it.

Topofthekey and I were speaking in generalizations and not specifically to or about stevie. Perhaps on his thread wasn't the best place to do it  :noidea:

[msmoby_ru]

One of the things you said I found very interesting. Just to single it out. AND THAT IS ABOUT I envy the guys in the UK or in countries where the time difference is only an hour or two.

OK, so I finally found this post of Stevie's and I'm shocked.. I well remember challenging him on "poor" Tanya...  Good on you for "fessing up" .. I only hope you'll read this one day..

To the guys who think it is "wrong" to go a long way to visit just one lady - who MIGHT be "the one" - give it a try

To Viking..  my wife's city was seven hours ahead of me in the UK.. Moscow is still three hours ahead