Engagement rings

[SANDRO43]

Our RWDpedia lists some additional sources (http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/mwiki/index.php?title=Rings%2C_Precious_Stones). I've added your Blue Nile recommendation there, too .

[HiTech]

I will echo about Blue Nile, I had very good luck with them. I also had the same problem with size, slightly to big, right now she has it on her middle finger. Alyonadid not wish to have it re sized in the Ukraine because of fear they would change out the diamond.

[kievstar]

You can get something that fits inside the ring so a larger one will fit into you get it professionally done.  I believe it is a plastic insert and costs nothing so you can ship it without risk of being stolen.  Looks nice. 

Do not have a ring decreased in Ukraine or Russia - sorry just can not trust people there and no certification requirements in these countries.  Also, remember diamond certifications on carat, clarity are worthless in these countries as no regulations. Never go too small on ring band because almost impossible to make bigger.  To decrease a ring it is easy plus jewelerers like this as they get the free gold and charge you for doing it.

What I did this past trip was measure her finger without her knowing what I was doing.  A good jeweler can show you how to do this.  To complicated for me to explain in email.  Get her a little drunk too. 

[Brianinaz]

I would echo what HiTech said. My wife's engagement ing was a little too big and I suggested we have it resized in Ukraine. She said there was a good chance they would switch the stone out for glass. Along those same lines unless you have expertese in the area you'll have no idea if you are buying a diamond or a piece of glass and if you get a diamond unless you can grade it you'll have no idea of the quality and that makes a big difference in value.

I did as Scott suggested and put it in my pocket and walked in. I would also agree with the observations on the difference between Kiev and Odessa. Kiev is an "International Airport", Odessa is still the wild west.

My personal experience with engagement rings is some sort of ring is nice when you ask her to marry you. A 20k rock or simple thing dosen't matter. I gave my wife a ring I bought there when I decided to ask her to amrry me. I paid $100 for it. I replaced it with a nice diamond ring when I went back for the wedding but she still wears the origional ring on her other hand (they're more about the sentiment than the size or value of the ring). The custom is definetly ours. On our wedding day she asked if she was suppose to take the engagement ring off (not wear it any more) after I put the wedding band on her.

Also as was mentioned get a stone that is proportioned to her fingers (thank god my wife has thin fingers), you want it to look good on her.

And the 2 month rule....use reason. If you're making 15k a month don't have her walking around with a 30k ring on her finger. She'll end up with a lump on her head and minus a finger.

[ScottinCrimea]

Just who invented that 2 month rule anyway?

[ScottinCrimea]

I just found the answer to my own question:

"A conventional buying price ranging from two to three months wages for a ring guideline originated from De Beers marketing materials in the early 20th century, in an effort to increase the sale of diamonds"

Us men are sure a bunch of suckers!

[kryten41]

I think the questions about whether to continue to wear the engagement ring after the marriage, or whether to wear  both rings on the same hand are interesting--when I bought rings for my first wife (AW) the jewelry stores acted like the normal thing to do is buy a wedding ring that locks into the engagement ring, and have them permanently attached to each other. The plain gold band was sold as the man's wedding ring.

I don't put much stock in the "2 month rule".  I suppose it could have value in steering you towards a ring which will be comparable to what your peers wives are wearing (you probably wouldn't want your wife to have a ring that is noticeably smaller than that of the other wives in her/your social circle).

I appreciate all the advice.  I had no idea gold came in colors!

[kievstar]

Any ring with one carat and VS clarity, F color, and very good cut will look nice if your lady is thin.  A 2 carat with good qualities will not look good on a thin girls hand and will probably get her robbed in the future.  Go for the 1 carat now and in 10 years get her a 2 carat if relationship not going well - joking. 

[mendeleyev]

We did the traditional route, and there are variances according to region, etc, with old style courtship instead of western "dating."  Her father had died years earlier so my future wife set up the traditional meeting with her mother and a trusted Uncle.  In an traditional setting the man doesn't do the asking--he brings along a representative to speak on his behalf, usually an older relative.  I didn't have any relatives in Moscow so one of her cousins (younger but close to my age) agreed to be my representative and all I had to do was bring the required bread and vodka and answer questions from her Uncle and Mother.

As a signal that conditional permission had been granted, mother took the bread to cut and serve, the vodka was opened and my future wife was then permitted to come into the same room to join us.  She brought out the traditional wedding towels upon which we would stand at our church wedding and which are used later at the baptisms of future children. The final condition set by her mother was that the family priest approve so I still had to meet with him.  That wasn't a problem since I had been attending to the same Orthodox church, but it was still a condition and he could have nixed the wedding.

I surprised her cousin by bringing along chocolate in addition to the bread and vodka, explaining that we needed all the help we could muster!  I think it was the chocolate that put us over the top.    

No engagement ring--she didn't want it because its not traditional.  Being Orthodox we wear our matching rings on the right hands.  In Russia a ring on the left hand can mean that you are a widow/widower/divorced but again looking.

There is no "engagement" in Russian culture and the "betrothal" happens at the very beginning of the church wedding, just inside the entrance where the priest hands the rings to the couple to exchange.  After some prayers and choir chants, the couple with their hands bound together by a thin wedding towel, move with the priest toward the front altar area to be "crowned."  Later the priest leads a procession of the couple and attendants three times around an altar. There are no vows in a Russian ceremony, in fact after answering a couple of questions (as to are they legally free to marry) by the priest at the entrance of the church, the couple do not speak thru the remainder of the almost hour long ceremony.

There are no bridesmaids or best men in an Orthodox wedding, just two sponsors/attendants (one for each) who hold crowns over their heads (without touching) thru the liturgy.  As the ceremony is a holy sacrament they drink wine from a common cup 3 times administered by the priest.  The couple holds candles during the ceremony.  Their hands which were tied together during the ceremony are unbound when the priest presents them as husband and wife. As with most Orthodox liturgies, the majority of the ceremony is done with everyone standing. There are no musical instruments used and everything, from readings to songs to chants are sung, not spoken.

At ZAGS (RAGS in Ukraine), the officiant directs a 10-12 minute ceremony at which the rings are exchanged near the midway point. We had both weddings since church weddings in Russia are not legal events.

Our oldest daughter was just married in August at our Russian Orthodox Church in Phoenix.  Here are photos of the couple with the crowns above their heads, at the end just before the final blessing, and the wedding altar.

[docetae]

My wife moved her engagement ring on the right hand and  I put wedding ring on her left hand at Zags. About the rushnik (the large towel symbolizing the entry of the house), the tradition is that the first one who walk on it is the master in the house. With my wife, we trained before our synchronized walk

I asked my wife to follow one other tradition about the old, the new, the blue and the borrowed.  Our wedding was a mix between western and Ukrainian traidtions.

[mendeleyev]

Docetae, you make a very beautiful couple!  Very cool how you coordinated the towel walk! 

We simply stood on wedding towels with one towel binding our hands also.  The "master of the home" was accomplished at the wedding party with a large wedding loaf, which is a round baked bread and ours had designs of a cross baked on.  In the center was a round hole at the top and a small cup of salt was inserted.  Each broke off a piece of bread (the biggest piece determines who is head of the home), which was dipped into the salt and immediately eaten.  Our daughter and her new husband did this tradition also.

I like the traditional symbolisms:  One common loaf baked by the two familes illustrates a new family as one, but retaining the connection back to our families.  Eating the bread together illustrates that now all things in life will be done in common.  The salt illustrates how life is not just sweet and tasty but also has it's bitter moments (saddness and sorrows) which are now shared as one.