Filipino newbie in San Francisco

[eze]

Hey all,

I'm a 36 year old Filipino living in San Francisco. (born and raised here) I've finally took the plunge into this a few weeks ago by joining EM. I did a search, but haven't seen any success stories of Filipinos guys. Actually, I haven't heard of any Filipino guys doing this. I've heard a few Asian guys with success stories, so this kind of gives me some hope.

I've got a stable job as a scientist for a biotech company, but I don't know if that's enough to interest women in the FSU. Outside of that, I used to dance with a salsa dance troupe for a couple of years. I'm currently in a hip-hop dance troupe and have been doing this for a few years. I'm not quite sure if something like this would interest women in the FSU, or if they would view this as something weird. As you can tell, I can be a pessimist.

I took 2 semesters of spoken Russian at a local community college last year, but with every month that goes by, I'm forgetting a lot of it, since I don't practice it. I'm planning on going to Ukraine sometime next year, so I'm starting to review some of my Russian.

I got favorable responses by email from 14 girls over on EM, and started talking over the phone to 3 of them. One of them seemed to lose interest, I doubt the sincerity of the other ( my gut tells me she's a free spirit), and I seem to click with the last one, which leaves me with really only 1 viable lead for now.

[William3rd]

All it takes is one. . .

Nothing wrong with being in the intelligentsia. Your ability to dance will be a plus-I mean you do know other dance forms than the late night cable stuff that nobody watches, right?

WIth a rudimentary knowledge of  Russian, I would say you are good to go. . . .

[Blues Fairy]

I've got a stable job as a scientist for a biotech company, but I don't know if that's enough to interest women in the FSU. Outside of that, I used to dance with a salsa dance troupe for a couple of years. I'm currently in a hip-hop dance troupe and have been doing this for a few years. I'm not quite sure if something like this would interest women in the FSU, or if they would view this as something weird. As you can tell, I can be a pessimist.

I'm married to a scientist.   I assure you, a woman for whom your profession is a turnoff is not worth your interest.  Salsa is also a fine hobby and many would be happy to share it.
Perhaps your origin may be somewhat of a turnoff for those RW who are searching for specific (White Caucasian) types, for various reasons of their own.  I would advise expanding your search area to include more sophisticated ladies for whom substance is worth more than appearance.  Taking a trip and looking around art museums and bookstores would be one way - lots of smart and pretty single girls there.

[eze]

Thanks for the feedback.

One of the girls that I talked on the phone with a few times sounded a little skeptical about the biotechnology industry I'm in. From what I got from her, it seems like people that study molecular biology in school end up just working for the government over in Ukraine, or in a clinic. She then asked me if you can make a good living doing that here. It made me wonder if a lot of the girls are looking for the investment banker types. Before this, I remember talking about being in a performance dance group, and she asked me if that was my job, almost like she was unimpressed. I remember being kind of defensive about it and saying that it's just a hobby of mine, but not my profession. It's probably better that this girl doesn't return my calls or emails anymore.

One of the girls I'm talking to right now, I feel like we're kind of clicking mentioned that at a wedding in Ukraine, the first dance done by the new couple is usually the waltz, or some ballroom dance. She then joked with me that since I'm a part time dancer, I'm ready to get married.     

[mies]

you raised few issues in your post.

ethnicity:
one of my ukrainian professors used to say to the class with dreamy voice "the most beautiful women in the world are in Fillipines - they look like dools.. never in the world i have seen somebody better"
He was about 50 at that time, and according to gossips - have traveled a lot during his life.
I've also heard from different sources that children from mixed marriages with Fillipino people and caucasians are very beautiful.
I'd think that for ukrainians it's easier to accept asian phenotype, than for example african. Just because we have some common history with turks, tatars, kazachs, etc, - there are tatars living in Ukraine.
Then - ethnicity is not just about the looks. It's the affiliation with certain cultural and religious group. When evaluating potential life partner - his religion, cultural background, views on male vs. female roles in society and family - all these are more important than the looks. It may be a good idea for you to address these questions during your communication with ukrainian females.
When I was living in Ukraine - i had very little exposure to foreigners except europeans and people from arab countries. Hence my opinion about the rest of the world's population was formed by news and history classes in schools, and some rudimentary soviet propaganda that all ethnicities are brothers. Gradually, as I was getting more exposure to international community, I realized that with some ethnicities socio-cultural gap is much smaller, and with some - much wider than i initially expected.
Finally, since you were born and raised in USA - you may be more "international" rather than Fillipino. Many sociological studies show that first-generation immigrants are the most loyal citizens of their new country, and they are often have grown away quite much from their ethnic roots. From my personal experience - I know a first generation americans: indian guy, and lebanese girl. They have all the best features of the American nation, and interestingly - don't have any of the worst features of the Americans (I would not elaborate here, let's just assume that all nations have their best and their worst features).
On the other hand - I know a 3rd and 4th generation american ukrainians, and they still have some very typical ukrainian features (and not all of these are the good features). 
So the best thing you can do - talk to woman in detail about your life, about what's important for you, what are the key things in "your world".


Profession:
This was some ignorant and narrow-minded girl. Send her Christmas greeting together with information on median salaries in USA for all key industries including biotech. Also you may include the Fortune top100 companies list with biotech companies underlined/highlighted. At least she will get some useful information from you, if she can't ask google to help her.

Her judgment is based on ukrainian reality and stereotypes. In Soviet Union science was highly praised and well-paid. After the FSU collapse - the financing was cut down, scientists had very low salaries, some went to do random jobs (selling apparel for example). Now the situation has slightly improved - there is still very low financing of research, but the scientists and science professors get quite decent pay. [Not comparable to American, but relative to other state-paid jobs in Ukraine this is not bad, and ok for normal living].

Another reason why I think that this particular girl is either immature or simply stupid - she does not even know Ukrainian realities (not to talk about American realities). In Ukraine people who work for government are getting paid very well. 
Still, even at the time of low-paid research jobs in Ukraine, for many families the "chemist or biologists son in law" was much more welcomed than "owner of a restaurant son in law". Work in science was/is connected to higher social (even though not economic) status, than for example job in trade/retail/wholesale/marketing. 
Your profession is the thing to worry the least. Plus - you can always find a biotech student or recent graduate in Ukraine/Russia. Some investment in cosmetics and feminine outfit - and you will have a pretty woman, potentially a lifepartner, and a person who shares your interests. Investments most likely will be needed because these majors (at least in Ukraine) are known for nerdy-looking people. 

[mies]

Dancing:
I personally would save for later information about your hobby. In the beginning you could mention that you like to dance, and are good in it. That you dance professionally - you can tell a woman after you meet and dance somewhere together.
I cannot explain why it happens so - but for me hearing that a man is dancing professionally is an instant put off. Somehow I start seeing him as not very serious person, also not manly. However - I do have male friends who are dancing professionally as a hobby, they travel to international contests, and I have no problem with it - in fact I love it that they dance so well. But I had a chance to get to know them first, and then learned they are dancers.

You should not be taking my viewpoint as the only truth and guideline. I am more down-to-earth than romantic person. I would not easily fall in love with flashing name "painter" or "writer", even though I love art and literature. However there are many women out there who are very romantic, they write poems, love to hear poems at dates, and so on. It's quite likely that for those women - knowing that you are a dancer would be a great turn-on. 

[groovlstk]

I've written about this before, but I know only one RW who married a Filipino guy, a stunningly gorgeous fitness magazine model from SPB whom I dated before I met my wife. She married her guy and lived in Huntington Beach for a few years. She divorced him after she got her 10-year green card. When I asked her why things didn't work out, she simply replied, "he's Filipino." I was shocked at how honest she was with me but it's something I've since become accustomed to.

So be careful, don't do like other idiots and propose to a woman you barely know and hope to get to know her stateside. Do your homework and make sure you're both compatible, share common goals, etc., and most of all, love each other.

By the way, ms. fitness model was also batsh*t loony. After her confession I knew she wasn't a long-term prospect but I wasn't averse to having a little fun. Yet one day she excitedly invited me to a new church she'd just joined. Wasn't my idea of a fun date so I resisted, whereupon I was told I had to join the church if I a) wanted to continue dating her and b) wanted to avoid Hell. Anyway, guess I'm going to Hell because I never phoned her after that.

[ScottinCrimea]

Since you mention going to Ukraine, having lived there, I'm going to offer you my opinions based on my experience.  Some may disagree, and that's fine.  It's just my impressions I'm offering.  First, about your ethnicity:  No offense please, but typical Filipino feature are not considered attractive to many if not most Ukrainian women.  Of course many of the features of the Caucasion men who go aren't so attractive either, but there are some for which old, bald and fat isn't a problem so I'm sure you can find someone for who your ethnicity isn't an issue.  It may be a smaller pool, but still enough to dive into.  Just be aware that they have minimal exposure to your ethnicity and will only know the stereotypes.  I will agree that the caucasian/filipino mix makes for beautiful children, as my first love was a model with that mix.

I disagree with mies that Ukrainians will accept the asian phenotype more readily.  they are farther from Asia than russia and thus less exposed. Especially in Crimea, the tatars are looked down upon by most for a variety of reasons - some valid, some not.  I think I saw fewer Asians there than blacks, and that's saying a lot.

I totally understand the woman's questions about your profession.  Unless you are employed by a private international company there, anyone in the medical or biotech field is a government employee, and they do NOT make a good salary.  That is the Ukrainian reality. Typical pay for a medical doctor last I heard was $150 a month.  Many moonlight in construction or other fields to make ends meet.  Based on her understanding of how things are there, she would naturally question you profession as one that could support a family.  From my experience anyone who owns a business is a better prospect to them than a scientist who works for the government, as most do there. It will require educating many to help them understand that things are different in the US.

I agree with the cautions about discussing your hobby of dancing.  Just wait and show them what you can do when you get there.  Some may get the impression that you dance for a second income.

As you have already noticed, of those who show an initial interest, some will drop out.  You just need to keep at it until you find those that match.  It's no different than anyone else.  Just ask BillyB how many letters he wrote before he found "the one".

[kievstar]

Go to Kharkov many Asians in the schools there.  Regarding the dancing I Know at certain clubs in Kiev the girls like the guys who can dance best but these are not the girls you want - more of the party type (not hookers).  Your dancing is not going to help you with a serious girl at all.  I do think what you do for a living and where you live is fine.  But you will need to explain at some point San Fran is cold.

[eze]

Thanks for the responses. I've changed my profile from "performing with a dance group" to simply "enjoys dancing".

You guys are right about half white half Filipino people. Most of them that I've seen have been quite attractive. In the entertainment industry, there's Phoebe Cates, Nicole Scherzinger, Vanessa Anne Hudgens, Vanessa Minnillo, just to name a few. I don't know if Rob Schneider is considered attractive.