English is SUCH an EASY language!

[ECOCKS]

A few of the more interesting turns of phrase in the English language:


Have you ever felt smug about your command of English and pitied those poor ignorant savages that “just don’t get your wonderfully rich, full and simple language?  Well before writing them off as stupid, take a moment and read a VERY few of some of our more interesting and contradictory phrasings and pronunciations.  Idioms are challenging in any language, but the first batch of pronunciations oddities should give you pause before being too critical.

Pronunciation Challenges:

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead faster if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time
 to present the present.

8.) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row. They formed up in one row on the side of the canoe.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow so that his wife had more time to sew.

16) The wind was too strong to wind the sail

17) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

18) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

19) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Where do these crazy names come from?  Intriguing question to ponder:

Why is there neither egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger?

In a similar fashion there is neither apple nor pine in a pineapple and English muffins weren't invented in England nor French fries in France.   

Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

Why does quicksand work slowly and isn’t it strange that boxing rings are square? 

How come a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig and why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?

One goose, 2 geese. GREAT! I understand now! So one moose, 2 meese?

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end?

If teachers taught, why don't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Why do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

How come we ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

How can Hawaii have an interstate highway?

Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise
man and a wise guy are opposites?

How crazy is it that as your house burns up, everyone talks about it burning down?

You have to take all those preprinted forms and then you fill them in by
filling them out, and then you have to send it off to accomplish turning it in.

Why do you make sure to turn your alarm on before going to bed at night so that you are sure it will go off in the morning?


P.S. – I still want to know why "Buick" doesn't rhyme with "quick"?

[SANDRO43]

Why do buoys never grow up into men ?

[AnastassiaAsh]

Ecocks, great list, but you didn't challenge me with that one! 

[Turboguy]

For tha matter;
Why do we drive on the parkway and park on the driveway.

[viking]

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?

And why it is called a tooth brush when we clean all our teeth. Shouldn't it be called a teeth brush?

[SANDRO43]

And why it is called a tooth brush when we clean all our teeth. Shouldn't it be called a teeth brush?

If it can soothe your seething mind, because in compounds formed by 2 nouns, the first is usually singular, unless you don't care several ratses' posterior orifices about grammar .

[Vaughn]

One Kleenex, five Kleenices....

[Tamara]

I have to agree with Nastya.  I was not challenged enough.  Good list, though.