Tougher Agenda Ahead For Marriage Agencies!!!!

[Aventurero]

Marriage Agencies and Clients will have a tougher time in the Future.

A high profile murder case in 2002 of Anastasia Solovieva King by her husband Indle Gifford King Jr. of Washington state is back in the news.

There is a bill before congress that will clamp down on the Mail Order Bride business.

Everyone might want to look at this, especially those who have not finalized the process of getting their RW into the USA.

http://www.govtrack.us/congress/billtext.xpd?bill=h109-3657

[Bruno]

30.4 percent of all women in the United States are physically abused by their husbands or male-cohabitants at some point in their lives. 49.3 percent of immigrants reported physical abuse by an intimate partner during their lifetimes with 42.1 percent reporting severe physical or sexual abuse.

Do they count the false DV make by woman for grab some money from husband or receive a green card... It seem that it become not easy to be a male in USA...

And the new rule of the MOB agency located in USA, it is not the dream solution... several MOB business located in USA will close ( these are the more easy to control ) and the business located around the world will grow ( these not easy to control ).

 

[Goombah]

Exactly  Bruno...  If you ask my ex-wife, she will tell you she was "mentally abused".  So if asked, "Did he abuse you" should would answer "Yes".  Of course, if probed, which surveys seldom do, one would discovered that I "Yelled at her", "was cold", and other such abuses at least once in the 23 years we were married...

Kevin

[ConnerVT]

Everyone might want to look at this, especially those who have not finalized the process of getting their RW into the USA.

Old news.  I'll dig up the old links when I get back home from work.

It is basically grandstand politicking by a few uber-liberal congresspeople (need to keep it PC, as mostly the Women congressme...people were involved).  The bill (only in sub-committee) never would see the chamber floor in it's original wording.  Even in it's much water downed version, it is unintelligible in spots, and unenforceable throughout.

A tempest in a teapot, to make feel good political hay...

[Bruno]

The woman is mildly distressed and upset. The man notices her distress and then worries she may become angry.   The woman attempts to communicate and discuss her feelings.  She wants to talk, feel supported and feel less alone.   She initially attributes some of her distress or problems to him.  The man begins to feel defensive, shuts down emotionally and attempts to deal with the problems rationally.  He feels a fight is coming on.  The woman feels uncared for, ignored and then gets angry.  She wants him to share the problem and he doesn't feel he has a problem.  The man will attempt to remain unemotional and stay in control of himself.  He avoids accepting any blame for how she feels.  He is also worried that she may explode at any moment and that she will certainly do so if he talks about his feelings. The man will start talking about her problem as if she could feel better if she would only listen to him and stop acting so upset.  He fails to understand how she feels and tries to remain calm.  He tells her to calm down and ends up looking insensitive.  She begins to wonder if he has any feelings at all.  She tells him that he thinks he's perfect.   He says he is not perfect.  She calls him insensitive.  He stares at her and says nothing but looks irritated. 

The woman is frustrated that he won't reveal his feelings and that he acts like he is in control.  On the other hand, the man feels out of control and like there is no room for anybody's feelings in the conversation but hers. Communication breaks down and the woman begins to insult the man.  When the man finally expresses his disapproval and attempts to end the fight.  The woman becomes enraged and may throw something.  The man will usually endure insults and interactions like this for weeks or months.  This whole pattern becomes a recurrent and all too familiar experience.   The man becomes increasingly sensitive to how the woman acts and becomes avoidant and unsupportive.  The man begins to believe that there is nothing he can do and that it may be all his fault.  His frustration and anger can build for months ike this. 

This risk of violence  increases when the woman insults the man in front of their children, threatens the man's relationship with his children, or she refuses to control her abusive behavior when the children are present.  She may call him a terrible father or an awful husband in front of the children.  Eventually he feels enraged not only because of how she treats him, but how her behavior is harming the children.   At some point the man may throw something, punch a wall, or slam his fist down loudly to vent his anger and to communicate that he has reached his limits.  Up till now she has never listened to what he had to say.  He decides that maybe she will stop if she can see just how angry he has become.  Rather than recognizing that he has reached his limits, expressing his anger physically has the opposite effect.  For a long time the man has tried to hide his anger.  Why should the woman believe he really means it?  After all, he has put up with her abuse for a long time and done nothing.  Instead of realizing that things have gotten out of control, the woman may approach him and say something like, "What are you gonna do.  Hit me?  Go ahead.  I'll call the police and you'll never see your children again."  Once he expressed his anger physically, the situation became dangerous for him and for her.  The door to violence has opened wide.  He should walk away.  When he does walk away, she ends up more angry than ever, will scream obscenities at him and strike him repeatedly.  She may even strike him with an object.

 

Yes, some can reconize usual life here...

A very good article over DV over men at http://www.drirene.com/male_victims_of_domestic_violenc.htm

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[Admin]

I recall a 'situation' with my ex-wife that SHOULD have been benign, but actually could have been devastating.

She and I were having an argument in the morning before I had to go to work (cannot recall the topic). I decided it was pointless to continue to argue and wanted to leave and go to work, so I got into my car to drive out the driveway to the road. We lived in Florida at the time and it had recently rained leaving the only reasonable way out to the road being the driveway. Anyway, she angrily comes out and stands in front of my vehicle to prevent me from leaving. Of course I could not simply allow her to stop me, so I veered off into the muddy grass and had to 'gun' the car to keep it from getting mired in the mud. She was trying to again get in front of me to stop me, so I went further into the grass as she continued to try to get in front of me. I ultimately managed to get away from her and went on into work.

I learned later than one of the neighbors witnessed the incident and concluded that I was trying to run her down with the car! Imagine what would have happened if my ex had called the police and they had interviewed the neighbor. I'd probably still be in jail.

So what does this prove? Two things: (1) It seems the normal presumption everyone makes is that the woman is the victim in any argument with her husband, and (2) a person REALLY *must* be ultra-careful when dealing with women in America these days because of this automatic presumption. In the instance with my ex, I was trying to get away from a nasty situation and it could have resulted in HUGE problems for me. What might I have done? I am not sure. Call the police and then deal with the lies of the other party and their predisposition to find the male guilty? It really is a VERY dangerous path - and when the other party is irrational, insane, or simply with an agenda that does not protect your interests in any way - the male is at great risk in today's America.

- Dan

[Bruno]

Dan,

You example is perfect... and it show what shock me in your local law... i am for the same right for women and men... but in case of accusation of DV, it is the man who need to prove he is not guilty... for all other type of case, the accussion need to collect evidence who prove that the accused is guilty...

And this is not good... the word of woman have more value that these of man... the man need to prove that he is not guilty... where is the justice in this...

Never forget, same if we write some critic over USA, your model of society is followed and used by a big part of the world... and i fear when i see what happen now... i like European and FSU feminist but what i see in USA is not feminisme, it is the fully control of society by women, the castration of men... :hairraising:

[ConnerVT]

We had a good discussion going on about this in this thread:

http://www.russianmeetingplace.com/forums/showthread.php?t=3355

Rep. Larson's (D-WA) bill in the US Congress is the bookend in to Sen. Cantwell's (D-WA) version in the US Senate.  Here is Cantwell's version:

http://www.russianmeetingplace.com/forums/showthread.php?t=3357

[Bruno]

Khashyar !!! the topic starter ! I remember these name... he is maried to a russian woman from long time... i am not sure but he is or was owner of some site... and in 98, i have follow some of his advice... result... i have married a GCG

He is or was working in the audiovisual or reportage thing... he was lucky married to RW... but his recept was working for him, not for me... unfortunaly... in any case, i have receive some good advice but i have not follow all ...

Really surprised to see these name so much year after...