An American in Kharkov

[username33]

I'm an American in Kharkov on a Fulbright fellowship, here researching and writing about MOBs and the men who seek them out. I'd like to talk to American/western men who come to Kharkov to tour the marriage agencies and meet the ladies. I'm no ideologue, so know I simply want to learn who you are and why you're here. Stories, that's what I'm interested in. Of the men and women.

Isn't it time someone told this story well? If you'd like to help me do that, contact me by email (StephanClark (at) gmail.com) and tell me when you're coming to Kharkov; I'll send my cell-phone number in return. I know you won't want to spend all of your time with me; that's not why you'll be in Ukraine. But give me an afternoon, an evening, whatever you can spare, and I'll be sure to make it easier for you to get a decent dinner and a great cup of coffee, things that aren't so easy to find when you're new in town.

To learn more about me and my project, visit the blog I've set up. It has information on K1 visas and other news and articles relating to MOBs, especially in the early archives. 

Thanks for reading. Hope to hear from you. And best of luck in your journey.

[Admin]

Stephan,

Welcome aboard. I am not sure if you will find what you seek here, but if your goal is to add to your collection of knowledge about the international dating scene, there are plenty here who will be of assistance.

I scanned your blog site and enjoyed some of the stories. You are obviously a gifted writer and I sincerely hope you are committed to providing an objective and balanced perspective on the phenomenon of international introductions and relationships.

To offer a bit of my own experience, I started working overseas, in Asia, beginning in the mid-1990's. I saw many, many inter-cultural marriages. I have western friends (American, British, German and others) still living in Asia who are married to local residents. It struck me that most of those inter-cultural marriages enjoyed characteristics that my married friends in the US did not. The strength to overcome obstacles of various sorts was, in my opinion, something that helped all of those inter-cultural marriages.

I lived in Asia for some time - and later, in Germany, and in all places saw many of these marriages involving one western spouse (usually, though not always, American) with a local resident. In fact, one American lady married to a German man was the tutor for my son when we immersed him in the German public school system when he was 6 years old.

Anyway, fast forward to the middle of the year 2000 and the eventual collapse of my own marriage (to an AW), and the fact that I was spending nearly half my time in Ukraine on business - and I was, not surprisingly, finding myself being introduced to many women from Ukraine. Ultimately, I met the lady who would become my wife, and we married in April of 2001.

All of this was given rise by the fact that I was personally witness to very strong inter-cultural marriages. I continue to believe that, on average, inter-cultural marriages which develop from a reasonably 'normal' dating pattern, are among the strongest of marriage unions.

Part of my reason for starting this board was to address my concern that the moniker of "Mail-Order Brides" suggests people are making rapid, hasty, thought-LESS decisions which have life-long consequences and with children, affects (sometimes deleteriously) the lives of others. I do not expect you will find any regular participant on this board who believes there is any truth to the MOB moniker and what it implies - and that is a good thing.

So . . . with all that said, welcome. I hope you become a serious participant and that others will share their views with you freely and openly. Do not be surprised if your questions are met with some skepticism, at least initially, as to your motives and your balance. There have been numerous (too many, really) writers claiming to be objective journalists posing on the boards who ended up having some sensationalist agenda and merely wanted to trap some of the board participants into providing information that was used to further the journalist's agenda and not to fairly represent the information provided. You need to expect some serious challenges of your motives and integrity prior to expecting to receive much cooperation from board members.

- Dan

[username33]

Thanks again, Dan, for your reply via email, and this very thoughtful response here.