My trip to Ukraine

[Daveman]

I've been back in Africa a few days and have formed some thoughts about the trip.

First thing that surprised me is how much I learned / am learning about myself.
No doubt that the woman I met is all woman. On the other hand she expects me to be all man.. not the man/child I've become.
I took some ridicule from her and her family on this point. "little boy" I was called a few times.
What I've taken from that is.. I am the man/child.
I will change into the man.

Just don't lose yourself in this process. Much better to find a woman who will absolutely love you for and because of YOU rather than try to change to be something else to please her and her family.  Unless you're like the one in a gazillion exception, it won't work out too well for you. 

I am that man/child in many ways, and I'll never change to please anyone.  I like being a big kid     

So anyway, good luck with all of it. Hopefully you won't become a whipped idiot, walking on eggshells and trying to change into her perfect man rather than just being  comfortable with who you are, take it or leave it, regardless of opinions of others (after all, they're free to pork themselves, right?) :-)

I hope it works...
Dave

[Ulysses]

Hello James,
     Been following your great TR since the beginning, just no need for me to imput before now.....you've had enough  guys beating your chops in the past months.   Me???  I'm wishing for your ultimate survival....and success.  It's not a quest for every man....just some of us are so "equipped".......and I will mean that in the most kind.....and cutting ways.   My brother took me to task a year ago about my Ukraine adventures........much like swimming in the deep end of the ocean!!  But???
     Your comments about a change in your perception caught my ear.....and I will attest to that from my own small experiences.   She does want you to be the man......and a strong one...for sure.  Why desire one less??  On the other hand, hold securely the things  that make us a child.........the ability to smile at random, the innate happiness of things as they are, that inner sense of well-being that comes from maturity.   In my travels, I've seen many masculine eyes that seemed to be "beaten"....or just tired.   The economy & stress & other aspects of the economic tightness of life there take their toil......most are tough and do well.   Many fail and slip into the crutch of alcohol, etc....or just not caring.   And everyone loses.
    Just my 2 cents.......and I look forward to your further info.   Have a good trip.........!!   U.

[JamesDH]

Update:

I'll be back in the Ukraine again in a couple of days.

I did want to touch on the man/child issue. I have let the child side rule for too long. I need and want to develop the man side again.
She will appreciate it and I will too.

Since I've been gone for 4 weeks we have settled into a really nice rhythm and I've grown even more fond of her.
Our conversations are very comfortable and I miss her.

Paris airport tomorrow.. I hate that place.

This time I'm stopping in Kiev and taking the train to Odessa. Should be interesting!

Thanks for the kind words and well wishes.

James

[Rina_G]

Thanks James - it was the best what i\ve read last days
go and be happy

[LAman]

Update:
This time I'm stopping in Kiev and taking the train to Odessa. Should be interesting!

Interesting is not the word I would use. Is this the overnight train by any chance? It is about an 8-9 hour
trip, hopefully in 1st or 2nd class. When I took the overnight from Kiev-Odessa, I noticed everyone slept with their valuables wedged between themselves and the wall....I followed suit!!!   I had hard time trying to sllep most of night until I knocked out. What cracked me up about the train was if it really had brakes or just like to coast into small towns before coming slowly to a stop!!!!
 

 

[Ulysses]

Enjoy the trip......and send updates..........oh...and pix????

[UTRO]

So how are things Mr James?

[JamesDH]

Update:

She left for work a bit ago so I'm alone in the house.
How are things?
In a word.. smooth. It feels very comfortable to be here.
Honestly I feel like she is the woman put on this earth for me to find.
It feels like I've known her for years.
I feel an inner peace when I am with her.

We looked at rings.
I was wearing my contacts when we went in to the shop and without my glasses I can not read that small print on the price tags.
I was squinting at the tags and she thought I was grimacing at the price!
She picked out a nice ring and we left.
That evening was "I won't settle for a cheap ring", "I didn't see the price of the ring but it looks very nice", "I don't want to shock you with the price", "Price is no matter to me. I want you to be happy", "The price is $1600", "I don't care. do you like it?", "Yes it is the one I want", "Ok let's go".. off we went.

It looks very nice on her. I wanted a larger diamond but she likes it and that's what matters.
Before we got home she has called everyone she knows. She's called her family and they are on the way to the house. We picked up champagne on the way home. Soon Mom and sisters arrive. We set around the table and eat then they want me to say a few words. I gave a little speech on how we met and what we've been thru and that I feel she is the woman I was meant to find in this world. She makes a similar speech and we toast.

She is ecstatic and at times she just screams and I ask her what's wrong.. she just points to the ring and kisses me.

It feels good and it feels right.
She tells me she is a lucky woman and I tell her I'm a lucky man and I mean it.

[NickB]

Nice story James.

[Sculpto]

Yikes! That ring was $1600? I sell a few rings here and there...perhaps admin would let me advertise a few to save some of you guys a few bucks! I have a nicer ring I could sell for $350!

shhhhh jeez man

[JamesDH]

boaterguy.
What's up with the commercial intrusion into my thread?
Not to mention the bad taste you left by disrespecting my woman's ring, of which you know nothing about.
It came with matching earrings and was made by a local artist of some fame.

Take it somewhere else.

[Johnny2009]

boaterguy.
What's up with the commercial intrusion into my thread?
Not to mention the bad taste you left by disrespecting my woman's ring, of which you know nothing about.
It came with matching earrings and was made by a local artist of some fame.

Take it somewhere else.

You did choose to tell everybody how much you paid for it, so what did you expect??

IMHO it is a nice ring but if you purchased it in Ukraine I think you were paying "Westerner Tax", last estimated at 400% 

[Turboguy]

What the heck!   He is happy!   She is happy!

It is lots more than I paid for my wife's ring but if he got screwed when he bought it we all get screwed one time or another.   Let's hope any other ways he got screwed made it worth while.   Personally, I think most women would be happier picking out their own ring and not being surprised with something they may not like.  My wife picked out her ring on the internet.   I got her what she wanted and what made her happy, but with a little bigger diamond than she asked for.   

Nice ring and I am glad to hear she was thrilled by it.   Best wishes.

[I/O]

You did choose to tell everybody how much you paid for it, so what did you expect??

IMHO it is a nice ring but if you purchased it in Ukraine I think you were paying "Westerner Tax", last estimated at 400% 

Yikes! That ring was $1600? I sell a few rings here and there...perhaps admin would let me advertise a few to save some of you guys a few bucks! I have a nicer ring I could sell for $350!

You pair of R-Soles!! Have you never heard of thinking and NOT saying? It's called discretion. Goodness that was poor form. Pathetic, now there is a word. The Mods would do well to chop your crap out of this delightful thread.

James, all the best, I seem to recall your early adventures were somewhat frustrating and perplexing. Glad to hear you are happy, I'd kinda lost touch with where you were at. BTW, IIRC you weren't exactly on your last dime, so spend what you damned well like if you have love between yourselves. You only pass this way once so make it count .............. where it matters and where it matters sure as hell ain't a few lousy dollars.

[Gator]

JamesDH,

Congratulations!

As you know sentiment is priceless!

If the diamond were high quality the $1600 is not a bad price, especially with smaller diamonds along the band as it appears.

Glad to know that your relationship is progressing.

[Gator]

You pair of R-Soles!!

I/O, I agree with you.

Yikes! That ring was $1600? I sell a few rings here and there...perhaps admin would let me advertise a few to save some of you guys a few bucks! I have a nicer ring I could sell for $350!

My guess is that  your "few rings" are left over from women who have rejected your proposals.   

[Johnny2009]

You pair of R-Soles!! Have you never heard of thinking and NOT saying? It's called discretion. Goodness that was poor form. Pathetic, now there is a word. The Mods would do well to chop your crap out of this delightful thread.

James, all the best, I seem to recall your early adventures were somewhat frustrating and perplexing. Glad to hear you are happy, I'd kinda lost touch with where you were at. BTW, IIRC you weren't exactly on your last dime, so spend what you damned well like if you have love between yourselves. You only pass this way once so make it count .............. where it matters and where it matters sure as hell ain't a few lousy dollars.

Thanks for the kind words, but don't worry I have heard much worse from far better, so thanks again for your opinion.

I agree that this is a nice story, but last time I checked this was a forum, so anybody is entitled to add there ideas and thoughts, sorry if mine offended you!

Again just my opinion!

[boaterguy]

Geeeezzzzz, My apologies to everybody! I didn't realize I was going to stir up so much negativity.

I was just trying to point out how insane the markup on some jewelry can be. The only reason I commented was because the price quoted was double the full insane retail price. FYI I do deal with a bit of jewelry and have quite a few sourses.

Mods, please delete my comments after a reasonable amount of time to allow people to read my reply.

I won't attempt to help people save money any more! I PROMISE! 

[Ravens9273]

Geeeezzzzz, My apologies to everybody! I didn't realize I was going to stir up so much negativity.

I was just trying to point out how insane the markup on some jewelry can be. The only reason I commented was because the price quoted was double the full insane retail price. FYI I do deal with a bit of jewelry and have quite a few sourses.

Mods, please delete my comments after a reasonable amount of time to allow people to read my reply.

I won't attempt to help people save money any more! I PROMISE! 

Boaterguy

If you sell rings then you shold know that all diamonds have a different value. I dealt with  diamonds for a long time myself. Remember the 4 C's?
Your comment about price James paid and that you could have sold the same for $350 without commenting on the 4 C's (much less even knowing the 4 C's to James Ring) is not a comment a diamond dealer nor a person with jewlery knowledge would make.
In all honesty your credibility as a jewler just went in the gardbage.

The ring could easily be $1600 or even more.
Do you know the carat weight of the stone he bought?
Do you know the color, clarity, and cut of the stone he bought?
Do you know the value of the band? Is it platinum, gold (what karat gold) silver of gold plated?
Does the band have diamonds?
What is total weight of diamonds in band, color clarity etc....

It pretty much takes all of the above to determine the value of a ring and a real jewler would know these things and require all that information before dertmining a value or making any claim to value and what they could sell.

There is absolutely no way in this world you could make the comments you made without knowing the above much less to say you could sell equal ring for $350. You know nothing about James ring to say you can get an equal for $350.

This is not Ebay or a Pawn shop.
Your $350 ring I can guarantee would be of the lowest quality. Probably used .25 ct at I2-I3 clarity with possible yellow in color.
James did not want to go to a Pawn shop to buy his ring.

Your comment was very disrespectful to James and your apology is also very shallow with your last remark that you wont try to help anyone save money again. That was not an apology at all as far as I am concerned.

You werent helping anyone. And you cannot comment to helping anyone save any money without the mentioned knowledge above.

[boaterguy]

Please delete my response to Ravens as well!

Of course I know about the 4 C's. Unless Jame's fiancee has a hand the size of a football the centerstone couldn't be more than 1/4 carat. Sidestones usually have very little value in an aftermarket as they have little value. A colorless,perfect 1/4 carat stone nowhere approaches 1/2 the price he paid even at a Macy's! The ring I have is probably an F color,SI 1 at worst,.25-.33 carats(no need to weigh as their's $150 worth of gold in the band) and also has nice diamond accents around the setting. LOL I also have a .33+ carat marguis cut of similiar quality with accent stones around the setting with nice baggets mounted in the band for the same money.

James,again I apologize and wish you the best and sincere congradulations. Of course price is not important when making your woman happy.

Perhaps this should be split off under the topic of education about buying jewelry or something to that effect.

My wife and I shopped diamonds in Novosibirsk and Moscow while we were there. I am a 1 carat or better type of guy. Couldn't find anything in Novosibirsk. We did finally find a shop in Moscow that had some bigger stones. They wanted over 10K for a descent quality diamond that was + or - 1 carat. They wouldn't even furnish a descent loop so I could properly examine...grade the stone. I bought a bigger,at least comparable(if not better) quality(VS1) diamond here for a whole lot less. Granted I have access to wholesale pricing,which is why I said what I said. Standard markup is 3-400% in most jewelry stores!

Boaterguy

If you sell rings then you shold know that all diamonds have a different value. I dealt with  diamonds for a long time myself. Remember the 4 C's?
Your comment about price James paid and that you could have sold the same for $350 without commenting on the 4 C's (much less even knowing the 4 C's to James Ring) is not a comment a diamond dealer nor a person with jewlery knowledge would make.
In all honesty your credibility as a jewler just went in the gardbage.

The ring could easily be $1600 or even more.
Do you know the carat weight of the stone he bought?
Do you know the color, clarity, and cut of the stone he bought?
Do you know the value of the band? Is it platinum, gold (what karat gold) silver of gold plated?
Does the band have diamonds?
What is total weight of diamonds in band, color clarity etc....

It pretty much takes all of the above to determine the value of a ring and a real jewler would know these things and require all that information before dertmining a value or making any claim to value and what they could sell.

There is absolutely no way in this world you could make the comments you made without knowing the above much less to say you could sell equal ring for $350. You know nothing about James ring to say you can get an equal for $350.

This is not Ebay or a Pawn shop.
Your $350 ring I can guarantee would be of the lowest quality. Probably used .25 ct at I2-I3 clarity with possible yellow in color.
James did not want to go to a Pawn shop to buy his ring.

Your comment was very disrespectful to James and your apology is also very shallow with your last remark that you wont try to help anyone save money again. That was not an apology at all as far as I am concerned.

You werent helping anyone. And you cannot comment to helping anyone save any money without the mentioned knowledge above.

[Shadow]

Boaterguy, as MrsShadow worked ofr a jewellery factory in Moscow I am sure she would have some adress for you next time.
As for prices, she was amazed at the prices charged here in Europe.

[boaterguy]

Thanks for the offer. I am not a jewelry dealer so to speak. We are not active diamond buyers...but were shopping for my wife's engagement ring at the time 6 years ago. I am just ocassionally offered stuff and when a bargain presents itself I buy it!

Boaterguy, as MrsShadow worked ofr a jewellery factory in Moscow I am sure she would have some adress for you next time.
As for prices, she was amazed at the prices charged here in Europe.

[Ravens9273]

I removed my orignal comment to boaterguy out of respect for James thread and good news.

Congratulations James.


Boaterguy. Quick Summary

a .25ct-.33ct F color SI1 stone in gold setting with dimaond accents for $350 is complete and total BS.

[boaterguy]

I removed my orignal comment to boaterguy out of respect for James thread and good news.

Congratulations James.


Boaterguy. Quick Summary

a .25ct-.33ct F color SI1 stone in gold setting with dimaond accents for $350 is complete and total BS.

NO BS These pictures are not the best but should give an idea. The center ring is my wife's engagement ring(NFS) for reference. 1.14 carats,F color,vs1(GIA certified). PS My wife is really getting into this discussion and took the pictures. Crappy rainy day so not good for taking pics of diamonds. She also wholeheartedly agrees that members here should learn about the wide ranges of pricing in jewelry. She has alot to do with us wheelin and dealin a bit with jewelry. 

As an added note,since I'm not a commercial member. I will donate $25 to RWD per ring if this somehow turns into a sale...which is not my goal.

[boaterguy]

Hmm,other picture didn't load.