A Friend of Mine is Probably getting (Really) Scammed....(read on)

[JR]

what about that .0001% chance that she really does love him?

I think thats putting a very high percentage on it. If she loved him she'd have the F---ing birth certificate already......I keep saying it: "if it looks like a duck and goes 'Quack Quack, chances are you're looking at a duck.

So does anybody really see anything other than a duck?

[Sculpto]

I think thats putting a very high percentage on it. If she loved him she'd have the F---ing birth certificate already......I keep saying it: "if it looks like a duck and goes 'Quack Quack, chances are you're looking at a duck.

So does anybody really see anything other than a duck?

My only question is he being honest with himself and with the OP.

From my perspective, he is supposed to "know" what kind of relationship it is.

[SANDRO43]

Maybe your friend needs an intervention.

Brain surgery, most likely .

[Doll]

Brain surgery

Impossible! 

[JR]

Impossible! 

Why, just crack his skull open and start scooping out all the stupidity.

[JR]

My only question is he being honest with himself and with the OP.

From my perspective, he is supposed to "know" what kind of relationship it is.

I don't see that it matters. Friends don't let friends getted scammed. If he knew it wasn't going to go anywhere he wouldn't be paying an attorney in an attempt to get her a visa. He'd just be going there to get screwed, which he is. But he's getting screwed here also.

QUACK QUACK ! ! !

[acrzybear]

Why, just crack his skull open and start scooping out all the stupidity.

 As we say here in the south "you can't fix stupid"

[Sculpto]

this might not be a popular view.. but i don't think she is scamming him.. she is just doing what she does and in her world what she is doing is acceptable.. I would put money on it all her friends have older men taking care of them.. 2 or 3

He needs to wake up and decide if thats what he wants to be a part of.

[BC]

He needs to wake up and decide if thats what he wants to be a part of.

That is without any doubt guaranteed, only the point in time can be debated..

[JR]

this might not be a popular view.. but i don't think she is scamming him.. she is just doing what she does and in her world what she is doing is acceptable.. I would put money on it all her friends have older men taking care of them.. 2 or 3

He needs to wake up and decide if thats what he wants to be a part of.

She is representing that she has feelings for him and wants to marry him. None of the is true. She is taking money from him while putting him off "I can't get a birth certificate." She is scamming him.

[Sculpto]

She is representing that she has feelings for him and wants to marry him. None of the is true. She is taking money from him while putting him off "I can't get a birth certificate." She is scamming him.

You are speculating that she has indicated as such.  We are getting the story third hand.  Though you could very well be right about it.

[Daveman]

Well, installing the keylogger and especially a hidden vagicam should show him the light... kinda like fighting tunnel vision with tunnel vision, or something like that.

[JR]

You are speculating that she has indicated as such.  We are getting the story third hand.  Though you could very well be right about it.

Quack Quack.....

Playing on someone's emotions, taking money from them and all the while never intending to "Go down the isle" is scam, plain and simple.

If she were not a scammer she should just tell him. "Send me X amount of money and I'll service you whenever you feel like making the trip." Such a situation would be on the up and up. He would know what he's getting "a whore" and could live with it as such. But a big part of why he's doing this is because he wants to believe this young hottie has some feelings for him.

[Sculpto]

Quack Quack.....

Playing on someone's emotions, taking money from them and all the while never intending to "Go down the isle" is scam, plain and simple.

If she were not a scammer she should just tell him. "Send me X amount of money and I'll service you whenever you feel like making the trip." Such a situation would be on the up and up. He would know what he's getting "a whore" and could live with it as such. But a big part of why he's doing this is because he wants to believe this young hottie has some feelings for him.

Dude, I dont see how you can come to such a definitive conclusion hearing a story third hand and without the input of the lady in question.  Its not that clear.  the guy if trying to get a K1 and she is making excuses he is OBVIOUSLY not paying attention to a lot of what she has been saying to him. 

You have NO IDEA what she said to him, or what he understood.

[groovlstk]

Dude, I dont see how you can come to such a definitive conclusion hearing a story third hand and without the input of the lady in question.  Its not that clear.  the guy if trying to get a K1 and she is making excuses he is OBVIOUSLY not paying attention to a lot of what she has been saying to him. 

You have NO IDEA what she said to him, or what he understood.

So months ago, when you came here whining about how poorly your GF was treating you and looking for advice on what to do, people should have completely disregarded your request because they weren't able to hear your GF's side of the story?

[Faux Pas]

Dude, I dont see how you can come to such a definitive conclusion hearing a story third hand and without the input of the lady in question.  Its not that clear.  the guy if trying to get a K1 and she is making excuses he is OBVIOUSLY not paying attention to a lot of what she has been saying to him. 

You have NO IDEA what she said to him, or what he understood.

He is sending her a grand a month. She doesn't have a birth certificate and doesn't appear to want one so that he can file for an affidavit for a K-1. This isn't rocket science Sculpt and there really isn't much more to assume other than she's lying and it's a scam.

Of course I wouldn't have a birth certificate either if someone was willing to send me a grand a month.

[Kuna]

He is sending her a grand a month. She doesn't have a birth certificate and doesn't appear to want one so that he can file for an affidavit for a K-1. This isn't rocket science Sculpt and there really isn't much more to assume other than she's lying and it's a scam.

Of course I wouldn't have a birth certificate either if someone was willing to send me a grand a month.

It seems obvious to all BUT...  you have to remember that we're inexperienced and narrow minded - and the higher beings like Scultpo also know hookers and strippers are just nice (but mistunderstood) people.


Some people's judgment is so bad they're just asking for trouble.

[JR]

Dude, I dont see how you can come to such a definitive conclusion hearing a story third hand and without the input of the lady in question.  Its not that clear.  the guy if trying to get a K1 and she is making excuses he is OBVIOUSLY not paying attention to a lot of what she has been saying to him. 

You have NO IDEA what she said to him, or what he understood.

"Quack Quack"

I still see and hear a duck.

I shall call it nothing other than that.

If we apply your standards, (I can't say you're wrong, though it's not practical) we can believe almost nothing presented here because the talked about parties aren't able to respond.

I'd almost bet my life her birth certificate is tucked away safe and sound. Russians are too fanatical about documents to let that happen. She could easily get a replacement. She doesn't want to leave and she wants the money to continue to flow her way. She's a scammer.

[KraftSport5034]

http://travel.state.gov/travel/cis_pa_tw/cis/cis_2088.html
This says it all

[Kuna]

I'd almost bet my life her birth certificate is tucked away safe and sound. Russians are too fanatical about documents to let that happen.

BINGO!

And that is the difference between a man with experience and a man who has no clue...  the man with experience can draw on real knowledge to form opinions while the other man wants to believe nothing without a prolonged, multi-party - first person debate... and then rely on fantasy and story writing to explain all of the wonderful colourful things that MIGHT happen.



Jolly...  you're narrow minded and conservative... you're a naughty naughty boy...

[Muddy]

Well, installing the keylogger and especially a hidden vagicam should show him the light... kinda like fighting tunnel vision with tunnel vision, or something like that.

BINGO!!!

[Sculpto]

It seems obvious to all BUT...  you have to remember that we're inexperienced and narrow minded - and the higher beings like Scultpo also know hookers and strippers are just nice (but mistunderstood) people.


Some people's judgment is so bad they're just asking for trouble.

You are not one to speak about ANYONES judgement Kuna.  And you know exactly what I am talking about.  I will show you a heck of a lot more courtesy and respect by not revealing what I know.  All I will say is you are not one to criticize ANYONE given your actual and unreported history, so, keep your mouth shut unless you have something positive to contribute.

For everyone else who actually has a brain.. I am just playing devils advocate.  Plus, I do actually think without getting a first hand report from the guy sending the money it is not possible to really make an accurate determination of whether or not he is being scammed.  There are too many variables and too many unknowns.  Here is why I justify that comment...

A month or so ago I posted some questions for a lady in Lugansk who I know via vkontakte.  She was having some doubts about her man in Texas.  All surface evidence pointed to him being a potential bad guy looking to lock a pretty young naive and economically disadvantaged girl up in his house.  But, I kept digging and she had a scheduled meeting with him to arrive several days later.  Well, with more digging I did finally find him on the web and his story did check out relative to his business dealings etc.  In fact, he appears rather upstanding and well established with a variety of nice businesses.  I even found several posts on a site similar to yelp where he is recommending his Russian language teacher.  The man was methodical and found his girl.  He went to visit her again, she layed it on the line with him about transparency and he came clean.  They are still together and going forward with their K1.

Things aren't always what they seem on the surface.  There is a lot more to this story that we don't know.  We do not know what her English level is.  We do not know under what circumstances the financial arrangements were made and understood by either party.  We do not know what promises she made to the man.  Without that information any judgement is premature.  Due diligence.

All that said, based on what has been reported here, it doesn't look good.  But, before I am convinced I need more information.

 Thinly-veiled threat to disclose personal information about another RWD member. If not an overt threat, it is a clear attempt to gain leverage and operates, effectively, as a threat. This is entirely unacceptable in any civil discourse. Any further actions of this sort will be met with swift and decisive intervention.

[JR]

For everyone else who actually has a brain.. I am just playing devils advocate.  Plus, I do actually think without getting a first hand report from the guy sending the money it is not possible to really make an accurate determination of whether or not he is being scammed.  There are too many variables and too many unknowns.  Here is why I justify that comment...

Sculpto, the problem with playing devil's advocate here is that along with speaking first hand to the guy mentioned we'd also have to give equal ear to the lady. Neither of which we are currently doing. So what does that leave us with? A bunch of hypotheticals.

Lets suppose someone lurking out there reads this and gets that it's normal and OK to send someone a grand a month for an indefinite period of time without the prospect of moving forward. I don't want anyone to think that is a normal situation. It is a situation that REEKS of scamming.

[Sculpto]

Sculpto, the problem with playing devil's advocate here is that along with speaking first hand to the guy mentioned we'd also have to give equal ear to the lady. Neither of which we are currently doing. So what does that leave us with? A bunch of hypotheticals.

Lets suppose someone lurking out there reads this and gets that it's normal and OK to send someone a grand a month for an indefinite period of time without the prospect of moving forward. I don't want anyone to think that is a normal situation. It is a situation that REEKS of scamming.

The problem with not having a devils advocate is too many assumptions are made based on incomplete information.

But, it does bring up another question that should be of value to newbies and that is, when is it appropriate to offer financial support to your lady and how much?

[JR]

Oh, I almost forgot!!

Quack Quack.