Russian women ask West Men

[Shadow]

        And those of us that weren't chasing fantasies but didn't spend years searching ,are doomed to the trash heap?    Is there a minimum time ?  How would this be determined?


                                                                   ...Larry

Some people buy lottery tickets all their life and never win. Others arrive in Vegas put one quarter and win the jackpot....

[Shadow]

No I amn't looking russian man.
I was created one interesting thing
it we look at three part of man - free, russian, successful - in russia we have every two from three
if free and successful - not russian
if successful and russian - not free
if russian and free - not successful (very very much)
 

Well two out of three is not that bad. 

[apple47]

Some people buy lottery tickets all their life and never win. Others arrive in Vegas put one quarter and win the jackpot....

              Or about one in 13 million win any particular jackpot in the lottery.   Others arrive in Vegas and drop their life savings into the slots and go home broke or in debt.   Using reasonable cost control ,either of these could provide a bit of mild amusement ,but ,to expect to get rich by either method would be a futile endeavor.   
           
 When using your analogy of Vegas and the lottery to defend your statement "Men who are really looking for a wife,and not chasing fantasies will be looking for a long time"  ,do you mean to say that searching for a wife is as futile as playing the lottery and going to Vegas to get rich?

               My search wasn't long and I wasn't chasing a fantasy,but,your statement implies that I chased and married a fantasy, BECAUSE ,my search wasn't long. I never chased a fantasy,you can believe this or not,your choice.  And I am free to believe as I wish as well.       

            This is the internet and there are many that take pains to present themselves in the best light at all times.     I could believe that you are one of those and take your statement to mean instead ,  it took you a long time to wake up to the fact that you were chasing fantasies and your actual search as a serious,sincere,honest man looking for a wife was actually no longer than mine.

                                          OR

               You were a playboy sex tourist and finally tired of the chase and your time searching as an honest, sincere,serious man was no longer than my search.
       

                 Maybe you made a mistake and you actually meant to say;

          Men really searching for a wife,though they are honest ,sincere ,serious and not chasing a fantasy ,could find themselves searching for a long time.

         "will" is an absolute.   Its not a workable absolute in this situation.


                                                                   ...Larry

[apple47]

 

          Well JR that is just another mistake I made.Not searching the minimum,recommended time,who knew.   
          Probably put that mistake up there with wearing Hawaiian shirts and a straw hat walking around the streets of Almaty.  No shorts though,don't have the legs for them.   
           It would be way too expensive to fix this mistake as my wife is now a citizen and we own a house and joint accounts and all the other trappings of marriage.   I am so doomed. 
           Guess I'll just have to suffer thru the kisses in the morning to wake me,the great meals,the shower fun and all the other horrible things that have become a regular part of my life ,not to mention the 2 sweet and lovable daughters she brought with her.   OH! WOO! IS! ME!   DOOMED,DOOMED


                                                                 ...Larry

[Daveman]

        And those of us that weren't chasing fantasies but didn't spend years searching ,are doomed to the trash heap?    Is there a minimum time ?  How would this be determined?


                                                                   ...Larry

I dunno Larry,

I think some guys get lucky, others don't.  If you are very picky, both in dating, and then even more so in taking the big steps of visa/marriage, it can take quite a bit of time.  It's pretty easy to marry quickly, but marrying a stranger is a pretty big risk, especially if you haven't had a few good arguments to see how both of you behave in relational conflict resolution.

Much of this is similar to a partially controlled crap shoot. You can do everything in a rational, planned way, and still walk away still with yet another semester  of FSU education under your belt.

It is whatever it is...

[JR]

          Well JR that is just another mistake I made.Not searching the minimum,recommended time,who knew.   
          Probably put that mistake up there with wearing Hawaiian shirts and a straw hat walking around the streets of Almaty.  No shorts though,don't have the legs for them.   
           It would be way too expensive to fix this mistake as my wife is now a citizen and we own a house and joint accounts and all the other trappings of marriage.   I am so doomed. 
           Guess I'll just have to suffer thru the kisses in the morning to wake me,the great meals,the shower fun and all the other horrible things that have become a regular part of my life ,not to mention the 2 sweet and lovable daughters she brought with her.   OH! WOO! IS! ME!   DOOMED,DOOMED


                                                                 ...Larry

Yes Larry, you circumvented the required ten years a lookin. Now I hope you are satisfied to SUFFER!!!!  But I hope you suffer in happinessville

[Shadow]

              Or about one in 13 million win any particular jackpot in the lottery.   Others arrive in Vegas and drop their life savings into the slots and go home broke or in debt.   Using reasonable cost control ,either of these could provide a bit of mild amusement ,but ,to expect to get rich by either method would be a futile endeavor.   
           
 When using your analogy of Vegas and the lottery to defend your statement "Men who are really looking for a wife,and not chasing fantasies will be looking for a long time"  ,do you mean to say that searching for a wife is as futile as playing the lottery and going to Vegas to get rich?

               My search wasn't long and I wasn't chasing a fantasy,but,your statement implies that I chased and married a fantasy, BECAUSE ,my search wasn't long. I never chased a fantasy,you can believe this or not,your choice.  And I am free to believe as I wish as well.       

            This is the internet and there are many that take pains to present themselves in the best light at all times.     I could believe that you are one of those and take your statement to mean instead ,  it took you a long time to wake up to the fact that you were chasing fantasies and your actual search as a serious,sincere,honest man looking for a wife was actually no longer than mine.

                                          OR

               You were a playboy sex tourist and finally tired of the chase and your time searching as an honest, sincere,serious man was no longer than my search.
       

                 Maybe you made a mistake and you actually meant to say;

          Men really searching for a wife,though they are honest ,sincere ,serious and not chasing a fantasy ,could find themselves searching for a long time.

         "will" is an absolute.   Its not a workable absolute in this situation.


                                                                   ...Larry

I do not know you and your search well enough to say if you chased a fantasy or not. What I do know is that men who are serious in their search for a life partner are extremely lucky if they manage it on a first trip.
Even if they have all condition in place like a sound mind and being able to separate myth from truth.

As for chasing fantasies, did you happen to drop by in Kazakhstan by accident or did you go there to meet the woman of your dreams ?

[apple47]

I do not know you and your search well enough to say if you chased a fantasy or not. What I do know is that men who are serious in their search for a life partner are extremely lucky if they manage it on a first trip.
Even if they have all condition in place like a sound mind and being able to separate myth from truth.

As for chasing fantasies, did you happen to drop by in Kazakhstan by accident or did you go there to meet the woman of your dreams ?

            You are not going to agree that there are too many variables involved to state that a search has to be a long time before it can be considered legit and not chasing windmills. And I'm not going to agree with you. 

           As for your last 2 sentences,the question.    With the sarcasm present in all 3 segments,I think you have already decided what pigeon hole you wish to place me.   Answering would serve no purpose.

             Maybe,I kicked your nose out of joint when I used  "you" in my examples. I apologize if I offended you,it wasn't my intention.  Replace "you" with "some guy".

            The point of the examples was to show that the time attributed to a search may not be time spent in a legitimate search.   To put a time frame on it ,a guy stubbornly chasing a fantasy for 3 years finally wakes up and finds a proper wife 6 months later could come to a forum and claim he searched for a wife for 3 years 6 months.  He actually only searched (properly) for a wife for 6 months.  Same for the sex tourist that finally sees the light.
             Another guy  searches legitimately from the start,he has lots of money and lots of time and spends all the time he legally can in another country. In 8 months he finds his wife.
             With total time spent searching as the only criteria,the 3rd guy fails your rule.    "a long time" without knowing any specifics is meaningless and without qualifying "a long time" ,I believe a person can be unjustly judged when using " a long time" as a criteria for deciding a person's legitimacy.     
                                            Further discussion on this is probably pointless.



                                                      ...Larry       

[Shadow]

            You are not going to agree that there are too many variables involved to state that a search has to be a long time before it can be considered legit and not chasing windmills. And I'm not going to agree with you. 

           As for your last 2 sentences,the question.    With the sarcasm present in all 3 segments,I think you have already decided what pigeon hole you wish to place me.   Answering would serve no purpose.

             Maybe,I kicked your nose out of joint when I used  "you" in my examples. I apologize if I offended you,it wasn't my intention.  Replace "you" with "some guy".

          

You are the one who seems offended from the start.
I have never said or meant that someone who finds a wife in a short time is not legit or serious in his search, just that he has had good fortune of being rewarded in a short time.
No matter how serious and well-prepared you are, when you make the first trip you are going on a date with someone who lives far away. This date can turn out to be perfect, it can turn out to be bad and any shades in between, and this is what happens in reality.
You might want to put it all on your personal good work and skills in finding your wife, but unless you actually went through all the 3 million RW who are searching for a partner abroad a certain amount of good fortune must have been present.
Sorry if I have offended you with this, probably you are accustomed to people reacting negative and feel the need to defend yourself constantly.
As mentioned, I do not know your situation as you are relatively new here. If you wish to share your story, it would be great, we do not have a lot of guys who went to Kazakhstan around here.

[Rina_G]

I think the search time can be longer or shorter than on how our expectations and dreams are adequate for ourselves
our inflated claims or not of the search object.
and the second point, of course, luck.
someone meets the first woman and realizes that this is his woman.
Someone had a lot of empty encounters.
Everybody has own way and time.

[Daveman]

            You are not going to agree that there are too many variables involved to state that a search has to be a long time before it can be considered legit and not chasing windmills. And I'm not going to agree with you. 

           As for your last 2 sentences,the question.    With the sarcasm present in all 3 segments,I think you have already decided what pigeon hole you wish to place me.   Answering would serve no purpose.

             Maybe,I kicked your nose out of joint when I used  "you" in my examples. I apologize if I offended you,it wasn't my intention.  Replace "you" with "some guy".

            The point of the examples was to show that the time attributed to a search may not be time spent in a legitimate search.   To put a time frame on it ,a guy stubbornly chasing a fantasy for 3 years finally wakes up and finds a proper wife 6 months later could come to a forum and claim he searched for a wife for 3 years 6 months.  He actually only searched (properly) for a wife for 6 months.  Same for the sex tourist that finally sees the light.
             Another guy  searches legitimately from the start,he has lots of money and lots of time and spends all the time he legally can in another country. In 8 months he finds his wife.
             With total time spent searching as the only criteria,the 3rd guy fails your rule.    "a long time" without knowing any specifics is meaningless and without qualifying "a long time" ,I believe a person can be unjustly judged when using " a long time" as a criteria for deciding a person's legitimacy.     
                                            Further discussion on this is probably pointless.



                                                      ...Larry       

Larry, I'm not sure exactly why you (seemingly) feel something negative from Shadow's post.  Some guys here are married to the first RW they met. Others have met many and found real love with number X, and still others (myself included) still haven't found Ms Right.  Magic can happen on the first meeting... Magic can happen on the first meeting and not last as you learn more about each other. Idiots can marry the first lady they meet without actually taking the time to know her and either get extremely lucky or writhe in agony until the train wreck comes to antifruition.

It's life.  Any of that, or other scenarios are possible.. what's the problem?

[Rina_G]

Hi again!
and want to ask again
Two men was going to come to my city and both couldn't make this.
and the reason was their closed people.
when man decides to look for woman - he can not to tell anybody about.
when man finds woman and talks with her in net, calls her on phone - he is still free and can not to talk anybody about
when man want to come to FSU his virtual relations become real and there are many people who begin to tell...

What your closed people (natives or friends) told you about your wishes to bring RW/UW?
How could you overcome these protests?

As ussually - thanks
    

[Gator]

What your closed people (natives or friends) told you about your wishes to bring RW/UW?
How could you overcome these protests?

Everyone will question the idea of looking to the FSU for a wife.

Someone who will allow his closest friends and family to discourage him without having met the RW does not have the adventurous spirit nor the decisiveness to make a RW marriage work. 

So, Rina, it is good that these two men never came.  It would have been a waste of your time.

[Rina_G]

Yes Gator - you're right it were my weisty time
I unerstood this - it wasn't my case and my luck

[GoodOlBoy]

Hello again Rina_G.

Gator is right (as usual), these men were not meant for you!

Unfortunately there is still a "stigma" in the GoodOl' USA when it comes to Russia.

Especially when we are talking about the "duck and cover" generation (and older).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duck_and_cover

Then if that isn't bad enough, once you arrive here, you will have to deal with the jealousies of American Cows Women , who will be extremely jealous of your looks and femininity.

Sadly, I had this problem with my old neighbors and ex-friends.

It is the chief reason why Marina and I moved to Sunny Isles Beach (north Miami) 2 years ago.

Also, as an added bonus, there is a VERY large contingency of Russian and Ukrainian residents living here. 

Have patience Rina_G!! 


GOB

[KenC]

What your closed people (natives or friends) told you about your wishes to bring RW/UW?
How could you overcome these protests?    

Rina,
Weak men (women) do what is expected from their peers, strong men (woman) consider the advice of others and then do as they wish. Anyone can appear strong and decisive on the Net, but in real life, it can be very different.  More than 80% of the men frequenting foreign marriage sites never visit anyone.
KenC

[GoodOlBoy]

Funny story.

When Marina first arrived in the GoodOl' USA (literally almost off the plane) we were immediately invited to a party at one of my neighbor's houses.

Well, we arrived at their house and my wife had naturally worn some of her clothes from Russia.

She had on a black pantsuit with a black jacket and black high heel shoes (very conservative).

We started to have some drinks and roam around the house making the rounds and introductions and Marina started to get a little "warm".

So being the GoodOl' Boy that I am, I offered to hold her jacket and low and behold Marina had decided to wear one of those shear (see through) black blouses that you fine FSU ladies are famous for.

She was also sporting a very nice, lacey black bra underneath.

I only wish I had pictures.

The men literally had to put their eyeballs back in their heads and the snorting women.....well let's just say, that was the last invitation we received to their house. 

Really, if you think about, it the whole situation was absurd because you can go to the public beach's here in Miami and see a lot more flesh. :evil:


GOB

[Rina_G]

Hi Ken - thanks for statistic - there is truth. and it's better to know this before.
GOB - I adore you
1. every my question has one your end - Rina be patient. I would like to swear on Red flag - I will - lol
2 thanks for funny story

[Faux Pas]

Actually Dave, Shadow's post here has quite the condescending air to it for those who may have went and conquered without looking for years such as he did. Kind of a "My way is THE way, yours is poop" kind of statement. When you break it down there's really no truth to it but he attempts to speak it with such authority. I read it the same way as did apple. There are many success stories where men met their wife on the first trip. It doesn't really matter whether the man has looked for months or for years. Because a man looked years doesn't improve his woman one iota.

 

Men who are really looking for a wife, and not chasing fantasies will be looking for a long time. I did not find MrsShadow until I was nearly 40, and not because I did not look, but because I did not meet the correct person.
As far as your chances, I think that they are not close to null.

[Misha]

Actually Dave, Shadow's post here has quite the condescending air to it for those who may have went and conquered without looking for years such as he did.

I agree, there are no absolutes. I met my wife within a couple of months of active looking. I would not say that I was chasing a fantasy or that my marriage is any worse or better than Shadow's. 

[BrightDawn]

Hi again!
and want to ask again
Two men was going to come to my city and both couldn't make this.
and the reason was their closed people.
when man decides to look for woman - he can not to tell anybody about.
when man finds woman and talks with her in net, calls her on phone - he is still free and can not to talk anybody about
when man want to come to FSU his virtual relations become real and there are many people who begin to tell...

What your closed people (natives or friends) told you about your wishes to bring RW/UW?
How could you overcome these protests?

As ussually - thanks

I haven't kept my pursuit a secret. I've had mixed responses.

My ex of course thinks I'm nuts.
My closest male friends have been supportive.
Many women I've talked to about it have also been supportive.

This is not to say that they haven't expressed concerns: "Be careful" is the most common response. Coming in second, "Oh they just want a green card".

As others have said, if a man is going to be swayed by others' opinions then he's probably not prepared to follow through.

I know what I want. No one is going to dissuade me, so I have no problem with telling people about my plans. The more I look here in the USA, the more certain I am about it.

[Rina_G]

To BD
it seems to me  - it's important to know what you want.
in this case person has real power to go and to have.
I agree and in first step it's real test for your wishes.
if your wishes are weak - you come back
if your wishes are big and power - you'll go rather.
what's a pity - in net there are so many men with weakwishes - lol

[I/O]

What your closed people (natives or friends) told you about your wishes to bring RW/UW?
How could you overcome these protests?

Rina_G: Indulge me to set the scene somewhat. I travelled.....................a lot. Not to meet people, but to see places. Later I travelled to meet people. I never discussed those meetings with anyone in any depth. After I met (several times) my now wife and we decided to marry, then and only then did I tell anyone close to me of my plans.

The answer to your first question is they told me I was mad (Crazy).
The answer to your second question is that I told them I agreed (logically thinking) that I was mad but if they didn't like it, I didn't care.

The result is I am now married and still have my (now our) friends.

My point is, the man you need in an international marriage will make up HIS OWN mind. He will not be easily moved by others thinking or words (including yours). The result will be that you may find yourself married to a man who can be difficult and determined at times but he will be man of his own mind. Look for nothing less.

[Rina_G]

Hi guys!
Thanks for all replies - I like to read it and to think after.
Again question on which I can't find reply now.
Yesterday I got letter from new man - open and normal.
...I enjoyed reading your profile and would hope you would take a moment and take a peek at mine...
I've read his profile
...I want you to know that back in 1983, I injured myself in a single car accident. I ended up dislocating my neck and that put my cute butt in a wheelchair...

What to reply?

don't want to offende, don't want to lie, don't want to give hope to be more than friend

help

[Gator]

What to reply?

don't want to offende, don't want to lie, don't want to give hope to be more than friend

Dear Ivan,

Thank you for writing me.

I read your interesting profile.  What a tragedy!  I can tell from your words that your spirit has made a full recovery.  You impress me as a courageous and sincere man, and interesting too. 

RW are blunt.  To be honest I am not the woman for you.  I wish you luck in finding your soulmate.

Warm regards,
Rina