time more of an issue than expected?

[rjd400]

I recall when I first joined here a few days ago, someone mentioned to me about giving the amount of time and money involved serious thought.  I had responded that the finances weren't an issue.

However, I did NOT give the issue of time serious thought .  As I've said, currently I'm only corresponding with one gal.  Met kind of coincidentally.  However, after some good input from some of the members here, I decided to "look around" at some of the more popular FSUW sites (not agencies).  Not sure if I want to correspond with others yet, but I'm considering it.

But I'm starting to realize what a time consuming search this would be.  I can't even imagine where to begin! 
First, I don't really have a physical type.  Short, tall, blond, brunette, thin, heavy.  I'm indifferent to this for the most part.  As cliche as it is, the connection is what's important first of all.  Plus, there are beautiful women of all shapes, colors and sizes.
Next, naturally, you look for an age range, but this does little to narrow it down. 
So, I do a search based on my few requirements, and I see hundreds to thousands of results...so you start reading the profiles...
And of course, almost all the profiles have a lot of similarity...wants children, wants a stable man to treat her right, she's fun and energetic, etc etc.
All of which is true, but is so general.

So the sense I'm coming up with is you really need to start a dialog with a HUGE amount of women, before you even scratch the surface if there would be any compatibility there. 

So I guess I'm just sharing my recent experience that we probably give a lot of thought to the financial aspect of this, but maybe not as much (at least I didn't) to the time aspect.

[myrddin]

  It does seem to me that you often get more warnings about money than about time. Both investments are significant (and it's not like it stops once you've found your lady!)  Perhaps the reason is that the time investment is not too different from what you might face at home in a serious search, while the financial costs are considerably higher.

Several of us spent a few hours a day for a couple weeks searching through websites (choose a couple and stick to them) and sending brief intro letters (to 100s of ladies). Then a few weeks more of several hours a day corresponding, calling, and trying to figure things out (ie, who to meet in person).  When I did that, I initially wrote to 500+ ladies and in about two months had 8 meetings with solid potential (6 actually happened).  I know guys who met wrote more and met more in similar timeframes.

The reason for all that is actually time: sometimes things simply don't work out when you meet in person.  Given the time involved in planning and traveling, not many of us can do that one at a time (even if the cost isn't a burden for you).  But there's no need to write novels back and forth, generally it does not take long to find some you'd like to meet, that's one reason it's often suggested to not even start writing until your plane leaves in 4-6 months.

You mention age range doesn't narrow it down much, try narrowing your range.  I did a few searches on 26-27 instead of 25-30.  You could also narrow down a region for your trip, which makes it a bit easier to start travel arrangements.



Or maybe you just wanted to make the point that people didn't warn you enough about the time aspect and I'm just wasting some of yours now ;-)  I do that sometimes.  Anyway, yes, it takes time.

[greg2654]

 I can't even imagine where to begin!  

A good place to begin is to determine what it is you're looking for. What are the characteristics of your ideal partner?

And of course, almost all the profiles have a lot of similarity...wants children, wants a stable man to treat her right, she's fun and energetic, etc etc.
All of which is true, but is so general.

You'll find exactly what you're looking for so if YOU are vague and general that is what you'll find.

Happy Trails, Greg

[Misha]

So I guess I'm just sharing my recent experience that we probably give a lot of thought to the financial aspect of this, but maybe not as much (at least I didn't) to the time aspect.

All good things in life take a lot of time to prepare. Besides, better to invest a lot of time before the marriage making the right choice, than to spend way too much time afterward dealing with a potential train wreck of a marriage.

[ECOCKS]

Right on target.

You'll spend quite a bit of time screening profiles, composing messages, checking for responses and arranging mutual times on for chatting and video sessions. Then there's the thought of taking a vacation and going to the other side of the world for a few vacations and visits which are potentially the most important of your life. No pressure there either right?

Then there's the possible waiting periods for filing for visas for other vacations to different countries and THEN the months-long wait for K-1/K-3's to process.

Time is certainly as much a resource consideration as money and your emotional capital.

[Sculpto]

If finances are not an issue..

Why not take a month or two off and just go over there?  using the Russian language sites it would be easy to arrange tons of dates.. meet some different women.. get a feel for the mentality and see who you click with.  Just a thought...

[Gator]

rjd400,

Your goals seem too high.  You search should yield nothing more than some interesting women.  Do not be so precise that all the RW you select  have a high probability of being wife material.

Just identify some prospects, talk to them and take a trip to meet a select few.

Three variables to narrow your search:

1.  Location (select a city you would like to visit such as St. Petersburg or Kiev and then concentrate on women living nearby).
2.  English (she should have at least a fair knowledge of English).
3.  Education and profession (e. g., there are some very smart RW so choose them, healthcare experience will facilitate a goal to work in the USA, etc.).

Then get started.  Many of the RW perhaps have no inclination to marry a foreigner and will not answer you.  You will drop many after 2-4 emails.  Some will drop you once they learn you will meet multiple women.

Then start talking.  If you start with a 100, I doubt that you will have more than 3-5 when it is time to plan your trip.

[LAman]

Seems to me rjd400, that you are trying to not make any mistakes. Too much reading between the lines is unproductive. This is an evolution process, what you do in the beginning may not resemble what you do at a later time. To determine what I was looking for took much time. I really debated about the girl having a child which was an issue originally along with figuring an age range. Two things that have really stood out for me in the process was...1)to choose an area to concentrate on in meeting women 2) To develop friendships with locals/expats
in those areas. In doing this you end up meeting many local girls that would never walk into an agency.

Good call Gator on your 3 Variables.....................

Wish IIIIII had the time to spend a couple months in ukraine!!!!

I have a question for you guys.....Why on this site do you only refer to RW's?( I presume means russian women)
I do understand many people in ukraine consider themselves russian, mostly in the east and south.

[Shadow]

I have a question for you guys.....Why on this site do you only refer to RW's?( I presume means russian women)
I do understand many people in ukraine consider themselves russian, mostly in the east and south.

RW is the term used for all women from the FSU (Former Soviet Union). While it may not be a PC term, it covers the general idea.
Some people would prefer FSUW, however the young generation was not born in the Soviet Union, and could object. the acronym EW (Eastern Women) is probably the best.

[rjd400]

As always, some great stuff for me to think about. Thanks guys.

[LAman]

Some people would prefer FSUW, however the young generation was not born in the Soviet Union, and could object. the acronym EW (Eastern Women) is probably the best.

Yes shadow but I know many girls who do not like to be labeled as a RW and the young generation was not born in russia either. I always used the 'FSU girl' which made better sense to me. When I see 'FSU'...I do include in my mind country.
The acronym EW does sound funny...maybe EEW may better fit better!!!!