That went well....Not

[phantom]

Well, after awhile of phone calls, internet chat with webcam.  Then it’s a long flight to Russia, an over night train to her city.

Beautiful country, very very interesting.  More to come, after I get a bit more of my bearings. 

The first moment seeing each other was great!  Kiss, smile at one another, stare for, what seemed a few minutes.  Talking to each other, the first time seeing each other, in the first moment, was truly wonderful.  Forget the after.  It didn’t work out.

[groovlstk]

Well, after awhile of phone calls, internet chat with webcam.  Then it’s a long flight to Russia, an over night train to her city.

Beautiful country, very very interesting.  More to come, after I get a bit more of my bearings. 

The first moment seeing each other was great!  Kiss, smile at one another, stare for, what seemed a few minutes.  Talking to each other, the first time seeing each other, in the first moment, was truly wonderful.  Forget the after.  It didn’t work out.

Phantom, sorry to hear things didn't work out, but you've taken the first step of a long journey. I had more than my share of bum trips, meeting women who were very different than what I expected (and vice versa, I'm sure). You at least now know what to expect on future trips and can plan accordingly.

[Gator]

Phantom,

Thanks for reporting your return.  Some of us are interested - we have known you for a long time.

I agree with Groovlstk.  The most important aspect is the fact that you have taken a trip, experienced Russia and RW firsthand, and survived!

[dogspot]

Phantom,

You have already done more than most guys by getting your butt on a plane (and train). Congratulations! Sorry things didn't work out for you. Best of luck for you in the future.

[GoodOlBoy]

Welcome back Phantom!

Congratulations, you have earned your stripes! 

Don't worry to much about this trip, start to dust yourself off and get back in the saddle again.....ASAP.

There are to many fine FSU ladies waiting to meet you.

Don't lament about this to much.


GOB

[ECOCKS]

Right this moment I don't recall whether you WOVO'd or WMVM'd. Hopefully something was salvaged and I am sure many of us would love to hear your thoughts and impressions.

Get a grip on your thoughts and let us hear how your recovery phase went.

Smile, next time will be a lot easier!

[myrddin]

Sorry it didn't work out, but really it's better to know early than late!   We'll be interested to hear more.

[JR]

It didn’t work out.

But you have learned. And you proved all your detractors wrong by going....good for you.

You are not defeated until you quit. She is out there, you will find her

[RussianWind]

"Shit happens" (c)

You don't want to talk about it?

[Vaughn]

More to come, after I get a bit more of my bearings.

Looking forward to more...  you went to Kazan, right?

Welcome home, phantom. This is only the beginning.

You don't want to talk about it?

RussianWind, I've a feeling the guy might be catching up on some sleep. Let's give him time.

[Daveman]

Well, after awhile of phone calls, internet chat with webcam.  Then it’s a long flight to Russia, an over night train to her city.

Beautiful country, very very interesting.  More to come, after I get a bit more of my bearings. 

The first moment seeing each other was great!  Kiss, smile at one another, stare for, what seemed a few minutes.  Talking to each other, the first time seeing each other, in the first moment, was truly wonderful.  Forget the after.  It didn’t work out.

Echoing the others.. welcome back from your first trip into LaLa Land.... looking forward to the report.   It'll be interesting to hear why it didn't work.  RW can certainly be a little different on a daily basis in person than they are in communication.. not speaking about looks there... but kinda like wearing their moods on their sleeves ... sometimes it can be a bit of an acquired taste, but once it sets in, man, there's just no going back.

Anyway, welcome home!

[Shadow]

Welcome back, and you will be prepared for the future now you have your first trip up your sleeve. Don't be too sad, not all dates turn out to be keepers.
By having experienced the country next time you can concentrate on the person you are meeting with less distractions.

[Rina_G]

Forget the after.  It didn’t work out.

my Honey boy!
It was passed - time is the best doctor.
it was nessesary experience.
you're on one step closer to HER
Beleive! 

[Mila]

Hello. Sorry to hear that But, you've passed the first level! As some members mentioned, it would be easier next time. It was a good experience for you and now you have to move ahead. Don't regret about the trip, as you've learnt a lot. Next time, you will be more confident and more experienced and who knows, maybe you will be lucky! Best of luck!

P.S: i respect you already, as you shared your experience, though it was not very good, but you were honest about that. You deserve luck and 

[phantom]

Thanks for all the replies.  Yes, time to move on, which I have now.

Had chatty guy sitting next to me, the long flight.  SVO, was rather dark, at least that’s how it seemed to me. (Maybe it was the Ativan after effect).  There was a bit of a line at customs, though not too bad.  I explained there for tourism. 

Then, there she was!  We smiled as we seen each other, time for hugs and small kisses.  The ride she arranged was waiting and took us to the train station.  Passing through the city, I admired all the sites I seen; truly amazed at it all.  She talked, as she held my arm, on ocassion, putting her head against my shoulder. 

It was just so wonderful, and I’ll admit, distracting for me.  I felt almost like a boy, that had just arrived on his first field trip!  From the window, I admired the sites.  Although feeling lagged.  The first minutes and day being with her, were great.  Unaware of the first experience to come. 

Took an all night train to Kazan.

[phantom]

   The train sped down the tracks, the scenery rushing by.  Such interesting lanscapes.  We chatted, taking looks out the window at the passing scenery.  She had mentioned that her mom and dad would like the gifts.  Especially dad with the cigars.  We talked about our flights, and how good it was to finally see each other.  We looked into each other’s eyes, and shared smiles and laughs.  As the night came on, I was tired to begin with, we began to relax more and soon fell to sleep. 

   Upon arriving in Kazan, we went to the hotel.  After checking in, all I wanted to do after a long flight and an over night train ride, was to shave, get a shower and put on fresh clothes.  So as she watched TV, I went into the bathroom.  Turning on the water, it wasn’t too bad for shaving or showering.  Now, with fresh clothes on, and unpacked, we left the hotel, to see the city.

   After leaving the hotel, I mentioned having to report, etc.  and we can go to the post office, she said police station was better, and she would take care of it, she being a lawyer.  I insisted on the postal, which we did.  First mistake with her perhaps.

The weather was very changeable.  Muggy, cool and rain.  We had coffee at a café/coffee house, whatever you want to call it.  Talking some here, but not truly a lot.  Then, I felt that things were dwindling some.

[LAman]

Glad you made it home...with your health intact, that, is in my book a successful trip....everything else is icing!!!

Look forward to the rest of your story. Curious though why you have 397 posts and have finally took the trip ???

Hello Mila...how are you? I remember you from another forum, glad you are doing well!!! 

[phantom]

It was a WOVO, which turned out to be a bad idea.  Next WMVM, it was in Kazan.  Now, as I begin to put this behind me, soon I will begin a new search.

What went wrong, was a few issues that lead to it.  First, a credit card got declined.  Emberessing, but not earth shattering.  Must had forgotten to call on that one.  So, I produced a different one to the clerk.  So, when we got outside, and had walked a little bit.  she turned to me and said, "You'll have to get another card."  ???  strange thing to say.  "Ok," is all I could say.     Then, a day or two later, we were having a conversation and she asked what type of vehicle I drove.  I told her a GMC Jimmy.  What year?  99-2000.  Why didn't I get something new?  The financial crisis at the moment.  credit crunch, etc.  Then, the day before leaving, and going back to hotel, she told me, and called me "Oh, you a poor man, you can't support me." "Yes, I can." "You have no money.  You made me think you had money."  she may as well have stood up and kicked me in the kahooneys. Then, this is where it got almost like two children. she told me, look at me, I was not obviously up set.  Yes, I replied, I am. You're not. Yes, I am.  Well, that little childhood game went on for a minute or two.  I turned and left.

that's what happened, as far as it not working out.  I'm beginning to put it behind me, and to shake it off.  When I do, the new search and adventure begins. 

[markdafedman]

Hey Man,

Listening to your credit card story sure rang true with me.  I think we have all tried to use a card we knew would
work and forgot to notify the company that we would be travelling.  I have checking accounts in the U.S., UK, and now Germany.  I know how frustrating it can be.  And it can lead to some mis-perceptions.

Personally, I dont advertise at all the following points: My salary, my ability or inability to ease the visa process, my
lifestyle in the US, my position, my agency, my debt, etc.  Until we are ready to share and share alike.  Even then, there is a need for caution.

The fact that she drew the conclusion that you couldn't support her is probably just as well.  She may have had expectations FAR over and above what you had in terms of supporting her.  Who knows?  And sometimes, our personalities just dont click! SHRUG.

My hat is off to you for going, and having the guts to report a negative experience.

[remiel6]

I'm sorry for your experiences. I feel bad for you, but hope that you get back in the saddle so to speak. I obviously don't know the woman in question, but I think this may be a good thing that happened. I find it odd that rather than ask "Why have you not gotten a new car?" or "Why was the card declined" an assumption is made. It says to me that for such a girl status is more important than love is. She may be the most lovely girl in the world, but such people can never be satisfied. There is always a newer car, a bigger house, a better way. It is never enough. The hard part to me is weeding people with such views out of the process as early as possible. It's not that their bad people, its that they are a whole that can never be filled. no matter how much money or love you sink into them their constantly evolving view of "the way it should be" wants more. I think the problem is that perhaps this is one of those things you don't find out about a person until you are face to face with them for a few days.

[Gator]

Phantom,

She did not give you the benefit of any doubt.  Some RW are that "black and white," and I have problems with such an attitude.
In fact, I had a severe problem with one RW and that was the end of it.  Unfortunately, it came much later than the first meeting. 

Much of this doubt has it roots in the RW's limited perspective.  My opinion is that a RW will give you the benefit of the doubt if she is really attracted to you///interested in you.  Or at least will discuss it with you before making a definitive decision.

There must have been more than a declined credit card and driving an older truck.  Care to share?

It is good that you discovered this so early rather than after a wasted second trip.  I wish she would have made the comment about money on your second day.  That would have freed you for a backup plan (e. g., call an agency or return early to Moscow).

For some reason you said something in your telephone calls before meeting that prompted her statement, "You made me think you had money."  Don't make that mistake again.  Next time, show photos with your older truck, and when RW question you about it, say, "I don't put my money in assets that depreciate; besides, it runs like a new car."  Some women will appreciate that fact.  Others seeking a fantasy or having a limited perspective will not.

[Mars]

Fortunate that you found out the attitude of the gal as soon as you did; and unfortunate that you didn't discover it earlier.

But once again, for the zillionth time, this displays the folly of the WOVO approach.  And yet we will have the lottery winners disputing this.

[Ade]

Fortunate that you found out the attitude of the gal as soon as you did; and unfortunate that you didn't discover it earlier.

But once again, for the zillionth time, this displays the folly of the WOVO approach.  And yet we will have the lottery winners disputing this.

Of course, a WMVM approach is as valid as any if (and only if) nobody is lied to or misled in the process. But my guess is that most guys are probably deliberately misleading the women they are going to see into thinking that they are the only ones that are being visited.

There's one dude (youngish, fit and good looking) that used to come here and who must be the king of WMVM; he's been to the FSU 25+ times (probably 30+ by now), has dated many, many 100's of women there and even has a failed engagement under his belt. As far as I'm aware he's still not found a wife.

WOVO requires a lot more patience, care, communication and investment beforehand to ensure that the odds of compatibility are as good as possible. Some people are just not up for that for whatever reason.

Everyone can find and example to show that either method is the best/worse but either way, without the right attitude, preparation and care, both methodologies will be just as unproductive.

[Shadow]

If she feels that you do not have enough money to support her, you were lucky.
You might want to try the same with other women, and the one who does not drop you is a keeper.

[RussianWind]

What's the secret code do you use here?

WMVM - ?
WOVO - ?