Hi to all and some help on trip to Siberia

[RussianWind]

Wind, your remarks in this thread are insolent and in very bad taste.

I know, apologies. But you often sound sharp too 

So what was the reason not to meet earlier? Just curious.

[Blues Fairy]

I know, apologies. But you often sound sharp too 

So what was the reason not to meet earlier? Just curious.

Every pen-friendship has its own logic and pace; some progress to a meeting earlier and some later.  There is no universal measure. 

[Johnny2009]

I know, apologies. But you often sound sharp too 

So what was the reason not to meet earlier? Just curious.

Waiting an entire year does sound a little strange to me, whichever side would be to blame! However, there are several reasons to wait this amount of time to meet, cold feet, lack of funds/holiday entitlement, other reasons would be to negative to mention.

All I can say is, the lady is very patient, which does appear to be a good sign! FWIW, For my wife and I, the point of our first email to meeting for the first time was 8 weeks, the main reasons, we wanted to meet as soon as possible and agreed that "life is to short to wait"! Hey, if you wait to long, some other lucky guy/girl may get there before you!

To the OP hope you get on the plane, have a great time and hopefully it will be the start of something good!

[RussianWind]

I agree on this with you Johnny. I have few nice penpals myself... should I wait untill they become hot?  Honestly I don't believe in this. I believe in immediate attraction or forget about it

[Johnny2009]

I agree on this with you Johnny. I have few nice penpals myself... should I wait untill they become hot?  Honestly I don't believe in this. I believe in immediate attraction or forget about it

Agreed, penpals will normally just stay penpals, the attraction between two people in these situations shouldn't take a life-time to mature, compatibility is normally there from the beginning!

In our situation there was no extra effort on either parties behalf, conversations worked so we met quickly! The amount of people in this world doing online dating makes it even more competitive, so if you find the right person stick with them and meet them, if not try elsewhere!

[dogspot]

Agreed, penpals will normally just stay penpals, the attraction between two people in these situations shouldn't take a life-time to mature, compatibility is normally there from the beginning!

In our situation there was no extra effort on either parties behalf, conversations worked so we met quickly! The amount of people in this world doing online dating makes it even more competitive, so if you find the right person stick with them and meet them, if not try elsewhere!

Compatibility might be there from the beginning, but it is also possible that something comes up during correspondence that is the deal breaker NOT to pursue a relationship. The fact is, everyone is different, and some people just need more time to know whether they want to meet or not.

I have been in two relationships with RW. The first, I was on the plane within 10 weeks of our first letters. The second, we waited nearly 14 months. The difference: The second relationship, in my opinion, is moving at a much more natural pace.

It is true that nothing compares to face time, but for some people, corresponding and learning a lot about each other before the first meet is essential. In my case, I feel that if we had only waited 2 or 3 months before meeting, things would be much different between us. The patience we have shown thus far is making the long distance aspect of this endeavor much more tolerable.

[I/O]

apologies.

From a Russian woman?

Every pen-friendship has its own logic and pace; some progress to a meeting earlier and some later.  There is no universal measure.

B/F, that's a fairly evasive answer. Universal isn't the question, individual is.

In my situation, it took about (not quite) a year before it was skin sensations time. Why? Mainly because of my laziness and belief that something involving this distance, this language barrier, this age gap and so on would need to be "made" to work rather than being "allowed" to work.

[Blues Fairy]

Honestly I don't believe in this. I believe in immediate attraction or forget about it

Agreed, penpals will normally just stay penpals, the attraction between two people in these situations shouldn't take a life-time to mature, compatibility is normally there from the beginning!

Then you guys have no concept of long-time friendship turning into something more, and your definition of norm is rather narrow.  In our case, it took three years for the friendship to mature, that's all.  By the way, what "attraction" are you talking about?  That which is called "chemistry"?   Last I checked, pheromones didn't travel via DSL lines. 

[UTRO]

My now-husband and I wrote letters for three years before we met, how's that?  And I did not consider it a waste of time. 

Blues, you mean to say that your Husband wrote to you for 3 years without actually ever seeing your Teeth?!?        

[Blues Fairy]

Blues, you mean to say that your Husband wrote to you for 3 years without actually ever seeing your Teeth?!?        

He must have figured out I didn't use my teeth to write the letters. 

[markc444]

Mark: FWIW, If you hit quote for your reply, write your text, space down a line or two, scroll down to the next post you'd like to quote and hit the insert quote on the top right, write your response text and so on, you can roll a lot of responses into one post. You can also edit out the parts of the quote you see and non essential.

Thanks for the help..I'll give it a try now.  I did hate taking so many lines for all those answers when I knew it was not necessary  but just could not quite make it work right.

Close but not quite it, it stands for Original Poster .

Markc444, when stumped by some acronyms used here, have a look at the RWD Glossary in the Main Menu at left.

Thanks, I'll remember that as well.

From a Russian woman?
B/F, that's a fairly evasive answer. Universal isn't the question, individual is.

In my situation, it took about (not quite) a year before it was skin sensations time. Why? Mainly because of my laziness and belief that something involving this distance, this language barrier, this age gap and so on would need to be "made" to work rather than being "allowed" to work.

I would say for me this is pretty close to what has happend so far as well.  Not so much the laziness although I can be lazy like a pro when the time is right.  But everything else you said, especially the age thing for awhile.  And for me as well it was the slow realization that even if I am interested this is gonna be a lot harder than say just flying to a European country.  Once I saw all the things you had to do  such as a letter of invitation, registering, just the whole visa process itself even since I have never done all that made me wonder what I was doing.  And all this kept adding up on the cost and it made me think twice.  Then I had six weeks off of work with a pinched nerve so that really threw a monkey wrench into any plans for a bit.  If she had decided to go elsewhere I would even think that would be better cause I would not have to comtemplate this anymore.  But then when she stuck with me through all that it made me realize as some of you that this penpal might be more. So yeah, it was my choices and situations that made me wait this long but I think waiting has made me feel better about taking the trip.

[markc444]

It's OK to just plan on meeting one lady, the backup plan doesn't have to be a list of other women to see, just another point of contact in case you need to make different arrangements. You never know until you meet!

Thanks Dave...thats great advice there now that I understand the 2nd meaning of a backup plan as opposed to meeting other women.

[I/O]

Mark: frankly, I don't mind the way you have approached this with the caveat/s that I have sneaking concerns about her authenticity, the age gap (let's not go there, just registering my comment), both your ability (resources) to follow through if it develops further etc. Nothing earth shattering in and of itself, simply concerns.

You seem to have some sort of handle on the logistical issues and they are no small consideration to be flippantly dismissed. You can't wish them away and they really don't get that much easier with time. Yours will be an interesting story to watch.

[RussianWind]

Last I checked, pheromones didn't travel via DSL lines. 

That's why it's so important to meet as soon as possible, to understand that you are not losing your time for nothing 

[Blues Fairy]

That's why it's so important to meet as soon as possible, to understand that you are not losing your time for nothing 

Once again, Wind, not all people consider the time spent on exciting and intellectually fulfilling pen-friendship as time lost.  And yes, friendship can sometimes develop for its own sake, without the idea of possible marriage popping up in the first letter.

[JR]

So what was the reason not to meet earlier? Just curious.

All those other men which are none of your F****** Business

Man I was wondering when you two were going to get around to going at it, you certainly haven't disappointed!

And welcome 444! remember: Do things your way or the highway. Or is that my way or the highway? I keep forgetting...but now I remember! I know everything so if you have any questions just ask me, I'm full of it. No really I am!

[Blues Fairy]

All those other men which are none of your F****** Business
Man I was wondering when you two were going to get around to going at it, you certainly haven't disappointed!

Feeling a little misogynistic today JR?  Everything ok?

[JR]

Feeling a little misogynistic today JR?  Everything ok?

Everything is definately NOT ok, thanks for asking. Hope all is well with you and your little one. They are amazing aren't they? The most precious gift I could ever imagine...now I'm going to go look up misogynistic.

[Johnny2009]

Then you guys have no concept of long-time friendship turning into something more, and your definition of norm is rather narrow.  In our case, it took three years for the friendship to mature, that's all.  By the way, what "attraction" are you talking about?  That which is called "chemistry"?   Last I checked, pheromones didn't travel via DSL lines. 

Firstly, I have never once criticized you directly, but you have chosen to criticize my grammar and advice on this thread, which was sound and non-judgemental.

Secondly, I am not a fan of your posting style, once I stopped laughing I had to reply. 3 years to meet from first correspondence? If you posted that story here at the time, chances are you would have been grilled and the man in question would also be criticized by most!

IMHO opinion your posts carry an arrogance with far too many defence undertones. I have an interesting puzzle for you, “SHOULDER” “ON” “CHIP” and “YOURS”, please rearrange the words to identify your problem.

I don’t care for your attitude, so this is my last response to you!

[Turboguy]

I was thinking about just applying at the earliest time I could so I could get the paperwork right as quickly as possible and also so if a good deal came up for the plane tickets I could get it.  But why would the visa be cheaper if I apply sooner.  I thought the prices stayed the same.  I mean unless you wait till the last minute and must have it rushed I would guess.

Mark, you really should get the tickets before the visa.   The visa is issued for certain dates that correspond with your tickets so getting the visa first would really complicate things and give you a potential for problems.

If you are using an agency for your visa (which I would highly recommend) the price stays the same until you hit the point where you need an express service.  I would say if you allow 3 weeks you will be fine but an little extra time is fine.   Tickets first though.

To my your girls sounds very sincere and totally honest.   I hope you have a wonderful trip. 

[Faux Pas]

Mark, you really should get the tickets before the visa.   The visa is issued for certain dates that correspond with your tickets so getting the visa first would really complicate things and give you a potential for problems.

If you are using an agency for your visa (which I would highly recommend) the price stays the same until you hit the point where you need an express service.  I would say if you allow 3 weeks you will be fine but an little extra time is fine.   Tickets first though.

To my your girls sounds very sincere and totally honest.   I hope you have a wonderful trip. 

Turbo
This post might be a little confusing to markc. His visa doesn't have to correspond with his ticket dates but his visa has to be valid as he enters and leaves. It would be a good idea to have the visa dates set a day or two before he enters and a day or two after he leaves just in case there is a delay in leaving or other confusion no?

[Blues Fairy]

Firstly, I have never once criticized you directly, but you have chosen to criticize my grammar and advice on this thread, which was sound and non-judgemental.

IMHO opinion your posts carry an arrogance with far too many defence undertones. I have an interesting puzzle for you, “SHOULDER” “ON” “CHIP” and “YOURS”, please rearrange the words to identify your problem.

I don’t care for your attitude, so this is my last response to you!

I am really puzzled what part of my post inspired such a defensive reaction.  I certainly did not attack or criticize anyone; and I wonder how describing a real-life scenario different from what you and Wind were advocating could be interpreted as arrogance.  You guys said waiting for a year (or 3 years) to meet was not normal, and I challenged your definition of the norm.  How is that arrogant, please explain?

[RussianWind]

All those other men which are none of your F****** Business

Of course. My F*** Business are men who share my ideas and do not wait for three years  

It would be a good idea to have the visa dates set a day or two before he enters and a day or two after he leaves

It would be a good idea but normally F*** Russian Consulates do not do it. They say: "You have a hotel booked (some require hotel paid!), so here your dates are"  

You guys said waiting for a year (or 3 years) to meet was not normal, and I challenged your definition of the norm.  How is that arrogant, please explain?

Patients of lunatic asylums also consider themselves normal but the rest of society doesn't. Is that arrogant?

[Blues Fairy]

Patients of lunatic asylums also consider themselves normal but the rest of society doesn't. Is that arrogant?

Wow. So writing letters for three years is lunacy, in your opinion? 
I'd like YOU to tell me if you consider yourself non-arrogant and non-judgmental, in your own honest opinion. 

[RussianWind]

Wow. So writing letters for three years is lunacy, in your opinion? 
I'd like YOU to tell me if you consider yourself non-arrogant and non-judgmental, in your own honest opinion. 

I am not  It's not my problem that you try every given example on yourself