How & where to marry? HELP!

[MatryoshkaMan]

Ughhhh...how do I begin? 
First I'd like to thank Dave (Utrobina) for some helpful advice but I'd like to cast my advice-seeking net further to see what I can catch.

Here is my background before the questions flow:
1) I am Canadian and we do NOT have a finacee visa program So thanks in advance but I cannot apply for a finacee visa for my L (the "one").
2) I have already been married to a RW (from Zap., Ukraine). We were married in Feb 2000 in Zap. while I was there on a 6 week trip. We were married at Zags. I have no clue about what the procedures were other than we used a marriage agency for help (even though she was not an agency girl) and I remember we paid a $40 "tip" to the Zags lady to speed up our wedding as I was leaving in less than 2 weeks from this point. In ant case she was here with me in Canada for 8 years until we seperated.
3) My divorce is not final but I am told by my ex that it should be done by March. I should try to check this myself but she is handling the paperwork.
4) I was in Moscow meeting L from October 1st to 15th of this year. We had a great time and love each other very much. We have decided to start to explore how and when to get married. I am worried that I might loose her if the process takes too long....so I want to make smart choices as to what to do.

The way I see it I have 3 options:

1) Try to get L into Canada on a visitor visa somehow. There is probably less than 50% chance that she would get the visa. Once here if we had the green-light relationship wise we could get married and then at least she would be here while we do the sponsorship paperwork. The downside to this approach as I see it is that even if she was granted a visitor visa, if we were married soon after she arrived wouldn't the government see it as a violation of the law? ie she lied to get into the country and hid her true reason for travelling here. I don't know what the ramifications of this would be.

2) Go to Russia to get married. Like I said above I did this before many years ago. I know I could do it again but the thing that is throwing me off this approach is reading all the rules regarding documents (it didn't seem so complicated the 1st time or maybe I am forgetting! The only thing I remember bringing to Ukraine was a notarized document saying that I was not married and was free to marry). The biggest hurdle seems to be all the waiting time before and after the wedding. Officially you need to wait 30 days after the approval of all documents by Zags to have your ceremony and then wait more time to get the marriage cirtificate, etc. I just don't have this much time off in such a short period of time. I just took 2 weeks off and it would be very hard for me, say 4 months later, to ask for another month off. Not to mention the cost of being in Russia for a month, especially staying in a hotel. Also I wonder what it is the likelyhood of being able to dramtically speed up the process through bribes? Is it a given? I wonder. With my lucky we will go to the only non-corrupt official in the entire country!! So I would like to know of any experience any of you had getting married in Russia/Ukraine and how long it took. Now that time has passed perhaps the rules in Russia and Ukraine are not varying?

3) Marry in a 3rd country. Ukraine would be the easiest logistically. I don't need a visa and neither does L who is a Russian citizen. But then we are going through Zags and the lovely post-soviet beaurocratic system! The only advantage over Russia (she lives in Siberia) is that it is not as cold and I, again, don't need a visa. And its easier and cheaper to get to than Siberia. I am not really looking forward to spending 2-3 weeks in the Siberian winter!

Dave mentioned Jamaica as a good 3rd country in which to marry as it is English speaking and you can get married quite quickly there. It would be great for L (Jamaica during the Siberian winter!!!) and it could be done on a 2 week trip no problem (it seems). But this is really expensive I am guessing. I have also thought about Turkey as anothe destination in which to get married but the paperwork (from what I have read) to do so seems as bad as in Russia!

I will greatly appreciate any advice, especially from those who have gone through the same issues recently!

Thanks!

[boaterguy]

What little I can offer.

Why would you need to stay in a hotel for a month? Why not stay in her apartment? I stayed with my wife and her family in their apartment for a total of 2 months!

Don't let the Siberian winter scare you! I thoroughly enjoyed the month I spent there in the middle of the winter! You being a Canadian should tolerate it much better than a Southern US guy!

[Ade]

When Tanya and I were looking into this it seemed a right royal pain in the arse for us to get married in Russia partly because of the very long waiting times. So yes, if you can't manage several trips within a relatively short period of time it's not an option. For us it was easier and quicker (although still a PITA to be honest) to do it here in Norway; I don't think any way is easy really, there are just various shades of PITAness.

FWIW, from what I've heard of Utrobina's wedding in Jamaica, I would be very tempted to go there. I can't imagine that it would be so much more expensive and the environment together with the lack of waiting would surely make up for the added expense over Russia (assuming there actually is any once you take into account the numerous trips or waiting time in country).

I'm a little curious about your "hotel" comment though and if you think you risk losing your wife because of a few months I'd be tempted to slow down and reassess my relationship.

[Misha]

1) Try to get L into Canada on a visitor visa somehow. There is probably less than 50% chance that she would get the visa. Once here if we had the green-light relationship wise we could get married and then at least she would be here while we do the sponsorship paperwork. The downside to this approach as I see it is that even if she was granted a visitor visa, if we were married soon after she arrived wouldn't the government see it as a violation of the law? ie she lied to get into the country and hid her true reason for travelling here. I don't know what the ramifications of this would be.

That is what my wife and I did. She got a visitor visa (though I was scolded by the consular officials not to do it again).

The main disadvantages in the unlikely event that she does get a visitor visa:

1. The inland application for permanent residence takes more time (we lucked out as it only took us seven months from application to landing, but in some cases it may take more than a year);
2. She can't leave Canada while her application is processed;
3. She can't work or study until she gets her permanent residence;
4. You can't appeal the decision if the application is turned down;
5. You should nonetheless continue applying for extensions to her visitor visa until she get permanent residence.

[Caddydaddy]

MatryoshkaMan,
I can't be of any help with hints for immigration to Canada, nor do I know the process to marry in Russia or Ukraine.
But reading your post

3) My divorce is not final but I am told by my ex that it should be done by March. I should try to check this myself but she is handling the paperwork.

comes in my mind, I understand that you love your L very much, but is it wise to plan already your next wedding even thought you are still married and don't know yet when you are truly free? Divorcement costs, split, etc?

Just a thought...

[Faux Pas]

I'm a little curious about your "hotel" comment though and if you think you risk losing your wife because of a few months I'd be tempted to slow down and reassess my relationship.

I couldn't offer anything on the "how and where" as far as advice but, this comment seemed a bit out of place in the same paragraph as getting married. MM if you risk losing her because of a "few months" maybe you really should step back and re-evaluate. It's never wise to rush right into marriage.

I remember you posting a lot when you were searching and IIRC, that wasn't too awful long ago. How many trips have you made to see this woman? How much face time? Is this a one week wonder thing? FWIW, taking your time now could help answer untold questions in the future.

[Norman]

I vote on second option, as an easiest one. I'm from Ukraine, but there is not much difference between RU and Ukr. Try to find someone in Russia to help with documents for you. I don't know why you had to wait 1 month for ceremony, fastest marriage we arranged was made in two days, he came here on Sunday and they got married on Tuesday. We don't give bribes, we just thank people for help ;-) . Anything is possible if you know how to do it.

[MatryoshkaMan]

Thanks for your replies all. I am likely just going to go back to Russia in March for 2 weeks and see what I can get done while I am there. Will probably have to meet L in Moscow for a few days then fly together to Novo. She lives with family friends now so that`s why I would have to rent a hotel for us. But I think Novo has to be cheaper than Moscow anyways. Norman thanks for the advice. Yes a "thank you" in the form of a white envelope goes a long way to getting anything done there....

[Ravens9273]

MatryoshkaMan

I also married in Jamaica. My wife is Ukrainian.
We were in Jamaica for 2 weeks. Cost was around $6000 total (all airfare resorts etc..)
Many resorts give free weddings with certain room packages. Trip could also be cheaper. We stayed at Sandals resort which later I found out charges twice as much as anyone else.
Getting married in Jamaica is very easy. The resort will take care of everything for you. You only have to mail them birth certificates (hers must be translated) and any divorce papers etc...
You only have to be in the country for 24 hours before you can marry.
That is all that is to it. Best part is the trip is also your honeymoon.

Now Dominican Republic is also an option. Resorts are much cheaper in price. You will spend more on her plane ticket then the resort. We were just in Dominican Republic back in June and Stayed at Barcelo resort. We had the honeymoon suite which had jacuzzi and ocean view room. All inclusive and we were VIP guests for $1000 for the week.

Dominican Republic would probably be easier since many airlines fly directly from Europe to Dominican. Right now I can only find one airline doing direct flight to Jamaica from Europe and that is Virgin Atlantic flying out of Gatewick airport in london. You need the direct flights because USA is requiring visa even to change planes.

An excellent travel agency to contact is The Vacation Store of Miami. You can do search online. I have personally used them and they literally can save you 70% on costs of resorts. I used them for my Punta Cana Trip. We did get a $600 a night room for $140 a night. Their prices were so good at first I thought it was a scam but they are the real deal.
A wedding can be done for very little in carribean. On average biggest expense will be her airfare. I do not know where your wife will start her journey but from moscow you are looking at about $1200 to $1300 for round trip to carribean.

It is well worth it. She will have a great time getting away from home and being in the sun. It is also a great way to start your married life together and to me nothing could beat getting married on the beach.

Best of luck to you.

[shakespear]

4) I was in Moscow meeting L from October 1st to 15th of this year. We had a great time and love each other very much. We have decided to start to explore how and when to get married. I am worried that I might loose her if the process takes too long....so I want to make smart choices as to what to do.

You're not even divorced yet and you're ready to get married to another RW after a successful two-week visit?  From your follow-up posts I'm assuming you haven't yet been to her home city, met her family or friends and you're ready to get married?  :hairraising:

We need a 'train wreck" icon on this forum.

My advice - don't even THINK about marriage.  Be thinking about a second and third visit to her home city instead.  Siberian winter shouldn't be any problem if you REALLY love the lady should it?  Perhaps the long waiting time required by Canada might save you from your impulsively romantic self.

[MatryoshkaMan]

Ravens, great tips! Thanks! How did your wife get the Jamaican visa? On the ground or before-hand? I read that Russians need a visa so I would assume Ukrainians need also? I have been to Dominican Republic before. Do you think its as easy to get married there as in Jamaica??

[JR]

I am worried that I might loose her if the process takes too long....so I want to make smart choices as to what to do.


My friend I would be remiss if did not say this: My heart keeps saying "Too fast, too fast"

If you love each other you will not lose her over a few months. You will do as you see fit and I wish you only the best but I had to say it.

[Ravens9273]

Ravens, great tips! Thanks! How did your wife get the Jamaican visa? On the ground or before-hand? I read that Russians need a visa so I would assume Ukrainians need also? I have been to Dominican Republic before. Do you think its as easy to get married there as in Jamaica??

They are given visa's when they arrive. I think (I am not 100% positive at the moment) the Jamaican visa was $20 when she arrived. In Dominican it is $10 when arriving. We both had to pay this.
It is just as easy to marry in Dominican as Jamaica. Same process and Resort will do the work for you. However I will just say this. While Dominican was nice we did enjoy Jamaica 100 times more. The people are more fun and more things to do not to mention the raggae sure helps the tropical mood.