Lucky or ?

[boaterguy]

Same storyline here....  broke a few rules. Courted without advice of any forum.

Write One, Visit One. We both knew the odds were preposterous. I believe that
notion helped us to see more clearly, to keep wild expectations in check.

Loaded up on travelers cheques for Trip #1 - what a fiasco trying to unload those!

We'll be married 7 years this February. And Mars, yes - she and I both got lucky to
have avoided all the landmine situations we read about here.

Gylden asked,

Something profoundly wise. Patience and discernment will take one a long way.

+2 except I left the traveler's checks signed over to my now wife and when the need for them arrose she couldn't cash them.

[Jumper]

I was given a good advice from the owner of Global Ladies when I was going to meet my wife for the 1st time. If I was going to meet my wife in Moscow I was going to have to pay her airfare from Novosibirsk. He told me this is a good test of a woman's character. If she doesn't show up then it probably saved you a bunch of money, If she shows up it's a very good sign, If she gives you change back then she's a keeper!

my grandfather always said-
" if you lend a guy $5 (or $20) ,
and you never see him again.
it was money well spent.

 

[BillyB]

If she doesn't show up then it probably saved you a bunch of money, If she shows up it's a very good sign, If she gives you change back then she's a keeper!

My ex financee was the kind of woman who gave me change back even if it was a few coins. She didn't want to keep anything she didn't earn. I doubt that she would ever steal from anyone for personal gain. Only when we entered a relationship did she feel comfortable to keep the change because I told her "My money is our money." She's probably more responsible with money than I.

[Faux Pas]

Glyden

Like you, I unknowingly went against the grain and against some solid advice known as "commandments". The commandments are more a rule of thumb. They are certainly not to be discounted because they are excellent advice but, one size does not fit all. I think many or most of us in this endeavor have the "where with all" to snuff out a scam or a woman who is less than honest in her intentions. However, some guys in this pursuit do in fact need to follow those commandments to the letter. These are usually the guys in a hypnotic trance from a picture, no solid communication and thinking with the little head.

You met her on ICQ, in my mind a very good place. You communicated, apparently openly and constant. A very valuable and solid commodity as opposed to many who work through agencies. I met my now wife on Elena's models. We quickly moved to direct telephone communication. I think this helped us move forward a 1000 times faster than letter writing with the aid of interpreters and 3rd parties.

Luck? I say no. It was calculated risk that worked to your advantage. There is a large degree of luck in finding a wonderful woman in another country but we can all certainly improve our odds with calculated risks and having the gonads to take them.

[apple47]

  The only luck was that you found each other. The rest is "the history of".



                                                             ...Larry

[JohnDearGreen]

I made plenty of classic mistakes.
1.   I sent her money for travel, visa etc. Before ever meeting her in person. (in fact, I asked her to research how much she needed and then sent her a good bit more in case there were surprises which we had not anticipated)

I always offered to pay the lady for her travel expenses.  And sent her the money in advance.  Never did one take the money and not show up.  It is also interesting to see how they responded to the question of how much their expenses would be.  One blonde from Kharkov replied she needed $150 for a cook and babysitter for her 16 year old son.  It was easy to drop that one.  One blonde from Crimea said $20 would cover her expenses to Kiev.  I sent her much more than that and told her to have a dinner out with her relatives before leaving.