Full disclosure by the honorable and idiotic man.

[Mars]

As humans, we often disagree about an appropriate course of action to take regarding any particular topic.  It is not uncommon that, after a person tires of repeating their disapproval of a particular course of action, they state that the course of action is OK if some prior notice is given as to certain critical variables.  While this may seem at first glance to be an attempt at reasonableness and accommodation, it is really a disguised continuation of attempts to stop or discourage the course of action they disapprove of.  This is because the course of action really cannot be accomplished if the suggested prior notice is given.

- - - - - -

Unmarried man (Jim) travels to visit his sister in another city.  The sister works at a large firm which employs many single women of close age approximation to Jim.  She has already lined Jim up with several potential dates.  Jim has read this forum and attempts to follow the suggested rules of full disclosure suggested by many.

Phone rings:

Susan: Hello
Jim: Hi this is Jim, you know my sister Alice.
Oh yes, good to hear from you.
So we are going to get together while I am in town.
Yes, sounds good to me.
But I want to tell you that I will also be dating other women while here.
Why are you telling me this.
Well, I just want to be sure you understand.
Are you under some impression that I am an unattractive gal who doesn’t get a lot of dates??  And do you think I am going to promise you, at this point even before our first date, that I will not date other men while you are in town?
No, no.  Just want to be sure you understand.
And are you under some impression that I am not able to be with attractive men?  No, no.
So you understand that these other men I date also are able to get dates  with other women.
Yes.
Then again, I don’t understand why you feel the necessity to tell me you are going to date someone else, when that is something that all attractive men and women do with persons of the opposite sex.
OK, yes I see your point. But I still just want to make sure you clearly understand that I am going to date other women.
Well, actually now that I think of it, I realize my mother is going to be sick most of the rest of the month, so I don’t think we will be able to date after all.

Phone rings:

Judy: Hello.
Jim: Hi this is Jim, you know my sister Alice.
Yes, I have been expecting your call.  I would be happy to go out with you. But let me say that I have already talked with Susan and I hope you aren’t going to go through with that strange bit where you feel you must tell me that you will be dating other women routine again.
No, no.  But there is something else I feel I must tell you.
What’s that.
I want you to know that by asking you on a date, I am not promising that this will necessarily move directly toward a marriage proposal.
Giggling sound.  What?  Why are you telling me this?
Well I just wanted a sort of full disclosure.
Are you saying that you are never going to get married?
No, no.  In fact I am completely open to marriage at the right time and with the right person.  But I just don’t want you to think that we will necessarily get married just because we go on a date.
Are you under some impression that I am desperate to get married to just any guy that happens to ask me on a first date?
No, but I don’t want any misunderstandings.
Do you realize that I have never had a man talk about marriage on a first date, let alone BEFORE a first date.  In fact, normal men are loath to talk about marriage at all.  This is really bizarre.  Your sister didn’t tell me anything about your mental problems.  It doesn’t seem like we are really going to be compatible.

Phone rings:

Peggy: Hello
Jim: Hi this is Jim, you know my sister Alice.
Yes, and I also know Susan and Judy!!
Well, sorry about that.  I have learned my lesson and will not be telling you about my intention to date other women and that marriage is not guaranteed.
Glad to hear that.  I guess it was just some sort of misunderstanding.  So where do you want to go.
It’s your city so I am open to suggestions.  But first I feel I must tell you that I might be interested in sex with you.
You mean on our first date?
No, not necessarily.
On our second date?
No, doesn’t have to be.  Could be on any future date if we both desire it.
Well, isn’t that the typical situation with any two adult persons who are dating?
Yes, I suppose so.
So why are you telling me something that all reasonable adults already know and understand?
Just wanted to be sure you understood.
Click!!

Sister: Jim, WTF are you thinking??
What do you mean?
I told my friends what a great catch you are, and you screw everything up before even a first date.  Why were you even talking about dating several women, that marriage is not guaranteed and that you might be interested in sex?
Well, I have been reading on a discussion board that a man should tell these things if he is an honorable person.
But that makes no sense because all reasonable women already understand all of that anyway.  We all understand it, but we don’t like to be talking about it, particularly before a first date even.  Don’t you understand it is just freaky?
Well, I was just trying to do the honorable thing.
But it is just crazy and makes you sound like a neurotic fool.
Jim, let me turn it around a bit to see if you can get the point.
OK.
I agree to go on a date with a guy and we plan to be together for 8 hours or so.
OK.
Now on this date do you suppose I might want to eat something at some point?
Yes.
So do you think I should tell the guy before or even at the beginning of the date, that I might want to eat something to eat.
No, probably not.
Why not?
Well because he will know that over 8 hours you and he will probably get hungry.
Now, do you think that I might have to take a pee-pee at some point during the date?
Yes, of course.
And should I advise my man of that when he asks me for the date initially?
No, certainly not.
Why not?
Because it is something that everyone knows is going to happen.
OK, Jimmy. You seem to understand that it isn’t necessary to tell someone about something that every reasonable person knows is going to happen, so I repeat . . . WTF were you thinking when talking to my female friends ????  By your idiotic telling of these things; you have assured yourself that you are not getting any dates at all.

[Vaughn]

Well, Mars, you've certainly made Jim out to deserve the "idiotic" label in your thread title.

There is such a thing as tact. Jim shows none in your self-serving examples. Somewhere
in the archives (not too long ago) KenC narrated his own functional handling of saying to
at least a few women, "It was a pleasure to have met you - now it's time for me to move on"
without facing wrath nor embarrasment. It comes with experience. I'll see if I can locate his
post.

The alternative, of course, is secrecy - or outright falsehoods.

WOVO avoids the dilemma if it's regarded as such. But what if things aren't going well, you
decide to move on - and she pops the question: "So do you have a backup plan?"

[Ludmila]

Mars,

Unfortunately, the comparison you have drawn is not appropriate.

1.  This was Jim's FIRST contact with his American dates. If Jim made a disclaimer in his FIRST letter/email/phone call to a RW, he would get  similar replies from the ladies ( exclusive of pro-daters, etc). They will simply think he's a few bricks missing.

     If a lady brings up the question of marriage herself, she is either shallow, "came out of wilderness" etc. A fair lady WORTH HER SALT  would never do that (  exterior only  is not reliable, to judge about one's inner content).

A FAIR LADY WORTH HER SALT WOULD WALK AWAY OR WOULD STOP COMMUNICATING,  IF SHE BELIEVES  she isn't for him.

 2.   For a Russian lady of modest means  your Jim would be in an economically advantageous position, in comparison with his Russian competitors.

       In case of his potential American dates on the American war theatre, he HAS NO advantages whatsoever ( he isn't  better or  worse).

3.    If Jim's sister told all those American "twigs"  her brother was making, say,  400 k , is into marriage, I bet, they would do all things   in line with AW proverbial feminist streak : arrange for  a car/ taxi to pic him up from his hotel, satiate his body needs with the zeal beyond his humble expectations, ( not yielding to an occasional Russian rivaling gal), pay for his dinner, or will they split the bill....... for a change?

[CanadaMan]

Mars,

Unfortunately, the comparison you have drawn is not appropriate.

That's why he's from Mars and she's from Venus and never the mane shall tweet!

[Gylden]

OK, I have a little bit of time and am in the mood to have a little fun.
I hope I have it right, you are just having fun right?

1. Jim is a goof ball. (can't make his own dates and sister feels sorry, so makes some arrangements)

2. Jim's sister is stupid by getting in the middle of her colleagues and her goof ball brother. (arranging several dates for his weekend visit)

3. Jim is either a liar or a bad brother or both. (what are his intentions? visit sister? date?)

4. Jim must never contact a FSUW who is posted in some agency as seeking a serious man for marriage. (those women are honestly stating that they are interested to meet a good man to marry)

OK I suppose it is enough fun for now...

[Mars]

There is such a thing as tact. Jim shows none in your self-serving examples.
The alternative, of course, is secrecy - or outright falsehoods.

Vaughn, as a long time poster you are certainly aware that many members here condemn the WMVM approach.  Then they often hedge a bit by saying it is OK if full disclosure is given.  Similar words are also used urging full disclosure with respect to marriage intentions and possible sex.

Could you give some 'tactful' alternative ways that Jim could have satisfied posters here who recommend full disclosure?

[Mars]

1.  This was Jim's FIRST contact with his American dates. If Jim made a disclaimer in his FIRST letter/email/phone call to a RW, he would get  similar replies from the ladies ( exclusive of pro-daters, etc). They will simply think he's a few bricks missing.

But Ludmila, you are aware that many posters here suggest doing exactly that.  i.e. Full disclosure.

[Mars]

If a lady brings up the question of marriage herself, she is either shallow, "came out of wilderness" etc. A fair lady WORTH HER SALT  would never do that (  exterior only  is not reliable, to judge about one's inner content).

But Ludmila, doesn't this exactly describe the FSUW (and others) who insist that the man must be fairly commited to the idea of marriage before he contacts her?  If not, then he is the dreaded 'not serious' man.

[Mars]

Gylden, as a relatively new poster, you haven't been exposed to many of the earlier related posts.  See my replies to Vaughn and Ludmila to help you get up to speed on this.  You think Jim is a goof ball, but he is just trying to follow the rules of full disclosure demanded by many posters here.  He has never done these goofy things before or even thought of them until he read about them here.

1. Jim is a goof ball. (can't make his own dates and sister feels sorry, so makes some arrangements)

Jim has not previously been a goof ball.  He can make his own dates and dates regularly in his own city.  It is very normal for female relatives to always be looking to 'set up' their male relatives.  It is true that by following advice he read here, he is acting like a goof ball.

3. Jim is either a liar or a bad brother or both. (what are his intentions? visit sister? date?)

I don't see where you came up with the liar idea.  Can you elaborate?  He is merely on a vacation trip to the city where a relative is living.  This is not uncommon, right?  He likes women and he dates women at home, on vacations, where ever women are.  He is not a homosexual so he likes to date women.  He is not adverse to marriage, but he is not desperate and feeling that he must choose someone soon.  In short he is just a regular guy.

4. Jim must never contact a FSUW who is posted in some agency as seeking a serious man for marriage. (those women are honestly stating that they are interested to meet a good man to marry)

Jim is a man serious  and he is not adverse to marriage.  But he just wants a date to understand that, by going on a first date, he is not promising to marry her.

[SMS60]

Jim is a goof ball

Again, A man blabbing about nothing

[docetae]

Jim is a goof ball

Again, A man blabbing about nothing

1 + 4

[Ade]

The expectations of most women when dating internationally are usually far different than when dating people in their own country. I'd also venture an opinion that the American style of casually dating numerous people concurrently is just that, an American thing. Yes, people may date like that sometimes in other countries but it is generally not the norm as it is in the states.

As for your constant assertion that being fully open in a WMVM situation is doomed to failure, well, quite frankly, that is preposterous for the obvious reason that we know of at least one person that has been fully open and he didn't fall flat on his face.

My guess is that you, like many others, do not have the wherewithal to pull off a WMVM honestly and you attempt to rationalise and justify your dishonesty with this self-serving logic. I'm sure that there are many guys like you that are in the anti-date hall of fame, there because they directly or indirectly misled and lied their way into the beds of FSUW.

[vwrw]

Sixth sense tells me, the purpose of  the story is to make readers evaluating Jim’s actions, not the Jim himself. After the readers have derived at the conclusion that what Jim does is silly, the conclusion  is going to serve as a premise for proving a point.  Since the disclosure of the intention to date other women and the fact that marriage is not guaranteed and that one might be interested in sex is usually discussed in relation to sex tourism, the point may be connected with the topic, isn’t it?    :evil:

[vwrw]

Yes, the full disclosure seems silly when presented the way you did it. However, when woman has asked the questions about what your intentions are, the full disclosure not only makes sense, it is necessary with the kind of women you are looking for. The love for mind games usually makes them insightful and able to detect deception. 

[Ludmila]

Since I will be responding to Mars's comments somewhat later, I would like to tell my opinion straight.

 MARS IS A MOST HONEST GUY!!!!!!!!

 He simply wants to understand the logics of people he deals with. Actually Mars falls victim to his honesty. I CAN SEE IT CLEAARLY! That's his problem, IMO.

And one more thing  I feel I have to say : Mars, in one of your previous posts you spoke ill of Gator. Just in the same way I feel 100 % sure you are a good natured honest guy looking for happiness ( albeite deluded at times), Gator, in my opinion, is 100 % gentleman, and everything else this word means.

 Mars, I will try and give you my commentary to your thoughts somewhat later, when I can.

[docetae]

You can be honest and simple of mind. Full disclosure means that you are ready to hurt people. Life is not white and black, only shade of grays.

[Vaughn]

Could you give some 'tactful' alternative ways that Jim could have satisfied posters here who recommend full disclosure?

You have a tendency to take advice to its extreme limit, Mars, and create problems for yourself. First off, let's forget
about legendary Jim and talk about what makes you tick. What's your M.O. in contacting women? Are you writing
to many, a few? And wondering how you're going to meet any of them without hurting someone's feelings, or worse,
dealing with self-guilt?

Dude, I was a WOVO. Much luck. So much, in fact, I don't recommend what we did as a course of action. But there
were a few things we did correctly as far as we were concerned - keeping expectations reasonable. Many claim that, and
you could say I'm skeptical. I cite BC's oft-repeated statement that the practice of actively searching for a life partner via
an agency, for example, is a pretty bizarre activity. Putting that rain aside, though, let's suppose that a well-adjusted but
very single man desires a foreign mate (for whatever reason) and he decides to practice careful discernment, that is, he's
not about to commit to the first good looking woman that he encounters - he wants to meet several. What is the big
problem with that? One of KenC's posts addresses the attitude exceedingly well...

 

When I first went to meet Lena, she and I had become friends via our phone calls, but just friends, nothing romantic at all.  She understood well that I was going to meet other RW on my trip and had not a problem with it.  The other women I scheduled to meet were all well aware that I was not coming to spend my time exclusively with them either.  I met the others, had a few dinners with some and even took another to a New Years party, which we all know is a big deal.  But it wasn't a big deal, that we did not click at the party either.  All in all I met maybe 10 other women in total.  All showed great interest in moving forward with me, but I only had eyes for Lena.  I treated the women well, enjoyed their company and even gave a few a token gift.  I thanked them for their time, wished them well in their search, and was a gentleman in excusing myself from consideration.  Where is the harm?  Where is the foul?

The problem I have with your perception of "Full Disclosure" is that it parodies honesty to the point of tactlessness. Perhaps
men with such concerns should consider minimal communication before meeting. A simple, "I enjoy communicating with you
and would like to meet - so we can see where it goes..." takes the edge off things, at least IMHO. Keep things light. Think
more about developing a friendship first, rather than forcing a flame. The former allows either party a graceful out - and isn't
"out" where you'd want to be should there be no chemistry at face time?

If WMVM doesn't suit you, then abandon the notion. I'm not here to talk you into anything - just noting the method's
merits. As groov and others have stated countless times, go with whichever method is most comfortable - for none of
them are universally right or wrong.

[BillyB]

Could you give some 'tactful' alternative ways that Jim could have satisfied posters here who recommend full disclosure?

Jim or any guy should not be so open in the beginning. There were times I had to give disclosure but only when asked. Here is something I wrote in my other thread that talks about a VO experience that turned into a VM. There are many other ways of being tactful and honest but to many examples to list:

The ladies I did call out of the blue to were happy to talk to me and when I told them I was in town and wanted to go out with them, they were happy to hear that. Some asked me to send them a photo first and the ladies who accepted a date with me without seeing me, I asked them to go to their computer and see my photo first before accepting. I don't want to waste my or their time if she is not attracted to me. Some ladies did turn me down after seeing my photo. Others thought I looked good. Most could not go out with me immediately since they had plans with relatives on the holiday weekend I was calling but told me to call back later.

 After I told the ladies I was in town and would like to meet them, some were suspicious and interesting all conversations were very similar and went something like this:

 Me: After talking to them for a while I ask "I'm currently in Kiev and would like to meet you."

 Her: Pause....then in a not so happy tone. "Why are you in Kiev?"

 Me: "I came to Kiev to visit one woman I was communicating with on the Internet and she did not show up because her parents do not want her meeting with foreign men"

 Her: "Sooooo................you come to Kiev to meet many women?!?!"

 Me:  In a calm voice I said "No, I came to Kiev to see one woman and she didn't show up to meet me. I'm serious about finding a good woman in my life and I liked your profile and decided to call you. If I came to see many women in Kiev, I would not be calling you now."

 Her: Long pause..then "Why would you not call me?!?"

 Me: "Because if my intentions were to meet many women and have have fun with them, I would have made my plans with each of them before coming to Kiev."

 
Now that I've established I'm not a playboy and honest about why I'm in town when most men would lie about something like that, the ladies change their tune and start telling me the woman I came to visit was rude not to go out with me at least once after I made plans to see her and added other criticisms directed towards O. I take the high road being a gentleman and not jump on the bashing bandwagon they were giving O and say. "Maybe you're right but she was under stress from her parents and the loss of her job. She was always pleasant to talk to on the phone otherwise I would not have visited her if I knew she's a rude person." Of course they would now like to meet me.

It's possible to tell ladies you came to see another woman and by the time you get done talking, she'll like it and respect you more. Whenever you're faced with a negative in your life, there's a chance you can turn it into a positive and come out smelling like roses. I've never had a lady hang up the phone on me when telling them the truth about writing, calling or came to visit other women after they ask. If you tell the truth but talk or act as if you did something wrong, you're dead meat. If you're caught in a lie about communicating with or seeing other women, it's game over for you anyway.

[vwrw]

If WMVM doesn't suit you, then abandon the notion. I'm not here to talk you into anything - just noting the method's merits. As groov and others have stated countless times, go with whichever method is most comfortable - for none of them are universally right or wrong.

Vaughn, I think that Mars is more than comfortable with WMVM approach. Problem is that some of the guys who practice this approach for a long time are at risk of being accused of feeding women with false hopes for the sake of gaining some favors and being labeled sex-tourists. When accusing somebody of being sex-tourist, members say that they can tolerate  a “sex-tourist’s behavior” as far as he informs women that all he can guarantee is sex, not marriage, and that he meets many women. So, Mars decided to depict for us  how idiotic it would seem if a guy indeed informed the women he is going to meet about dating several women and that marriage is not guaranteed and that he might be interested in sex.

[vwrw]

There were times I had to give disclosure but only when asked.

This is exactly what I am suggesting - make disclosure only when asked!

[Jumper]

Mars- funny illustration of your point

how about a different one -

Oksana Smokinhotkova, has a USA tourist visa. good for 3 weeks,
has ample ,in fact very high income, and a downtown kiev flat to return too,, visa wasn't a problem.
for whatever underlying motivation ,she really wants to marry a man in a major US city.
(her motivation can be reasonable ,to absurd ,it makes no difference , as it is her own)

She joins an introduction dating agency "it's just lunch" or maybe several dating agencies in Chicago
,and pays their fees and dues,.
She contacts a few profiles from this agency that she finds interesting, and sends out a few emails ..
maybe even makes  a call or two.
Flies in for her three week visit, and has a few dates with the guys she was interested in,
none really work out ,interesting but no "spark"
so the agency calls  a few other men that are signed up , to see if they would like to meet her as well, they do.
why not? *its just lunch*? and this interesting person flew in and will just be in town a week or two..
she meets those as well of course.

amazingly NONE of the men mind , that will she meet other guys, or even asked about it,,
 its an introduction agency afterall? and she paid to be introduced to people,
and so did they!!  
if they hit it off with her great! if not,, they will meet others  as that's the whole idea of joining such a
agency,  and paying the membership dues.


also equally amazingly noone on this board ,
would blame her for getting her moneys worth from the payment she made to a introduction/dating agency,as  that's what they are there for.Nor would she be considered dishonorable, crass, or shallow.
it would be simply viewed that she decided to take a different approach than establishing a relationship before traveling.


now since she has a very high income in kiev,,
if she meets same here it's just dating,of course!
but if she meets US average income men ,she is surely taking advantage..of the economic disparity..

 

and yes i' m playing devils advocate,,


and no, a dating agency, advocating and helping people date,, (plural)
 couldn't really be that simple? could it?


yes yes ,
i know some men abuse the WMVM approach,,some mislead..
its doesn't mean you should cast every  situation to mean some sort of devious undertaking...

i just thought i'd poke some fun at the silly stereotyping that many do here,
and i think that's all that mars was doing.

[ECOCKS]

Everyone has to do what fits them best. Additionally, everyone is prefectly free to judge others based upon their personal definitions of right and wrong. Equally, those so judged can ponder the judgment or laugh it off as something "those folks" just have nothing better to do.

Perosnally, I do/did explain clearly [about dating others] in my profile and verbally to those I met just through introductions or in the course of business. It seemed like the right and fair thing to do to me. That was both for my objectives and with consideration for weeding out the scammers/GCG tyoes. Looking back, I would have been perfect for a pro-dater, although she would have had to have actually been dating me.

It worked for me and while I did make one woman cry it can be chalked up to either just the language barrier or her being over-sensitive. She lived through it without any major scarring.

[CanadaMan]

how about a different one -

Oksana Smokinhotkova, has a USA tourist visa. good for 3 weeks,
has ample ,in fact very high income, and a downtown kiev flat to return too,, visa wasn't a problem.
for whatever underlying motivation ,she really wants to marry a man in a major US city. ....
She joins an introduction dating agency "it's just lunch" or maybe several dating agencies in Chicago
,and pays their fees and dues,.
She contacts a few profiles from this agency that she finds interesting, and sends out a few emails ..
maybe even makes  a call or two....

I sit on the fence as far as the two poles are concerned:
(WOVO, WMVM). I see the merits and pitfalls of both.

AJ while your analogy is also amusing/interesting it really is not an appropriate one.

When a man or woman goes out to meet someone who has signed up with an agency there is an implicit understanding from both parties that the agency is not supplying the client with just a single date.

When a man/woman goes to meet a woman/man in a foreign country (sans agency) there is no implicit understanding of a WMVM unless the person has tipped their hand.

[GQBlues]

First off, Jim is a dufus and his sister is a pimp.

If he has to rely on his sister for dates, then cross state lines to do so, then he better think of limbering up from the hip and get a sex change. The only thing left to ponder upon in this particular scenario is if whether his sister pimps her friends or whore her brother more.

If Jim is not careful, he'll likely be in his 50s still living life alone and wonder why despite so many prospective women available that are actively dating around him, they date everyone else BUT HIM. He will then have a dim view that while there are indeed ideal women around him, they're either a) happily married to someone else - BUT HIM; or b) they're very openly dating everyone else - BUT HIM.

Then he's left with no other activity but to hit dating message boards and toss his opinion around on how to date women (LOL).

Either way, life will certainly sux to high heavens for Jim. Playboy mags and Medic-Alert simply will never be enough to keep him from feeling alone.

Then Jim will likely have a serious NEED to embark somewhere beyond the borders of his country where he feels his passport will best net him an advantage in life. Sadly, being whored up before, he'll likely never be able to rid of the disease. He'll find places he can dangle his wealth and time sifting through social agencies designed specifically for marriages and feast on his role playing. He'll fock himself silly with as many women as he can fool by making each one believe he's searching for a wife.  

Your classic Sex Tourist.

Of course he'll make sure none of the women will ever know they're just one of many in his SML (Shag Mission List). Not one, nope, zilch, nada. He'll do them one at a time, and once the mission is accomplished, the proverbial statement  - "Sorry doll, we're just not compatible" undoubtedly follows. These Jim's will likely be searching for compatibility for years and years with as many unsuspecting women as he can!

There's many Jim's in our world. Easy to spot them. They're the type to likely spend days ending with a 'y' on dating message boards telling people how to date. They'll be on these message boards even on weekend nights despite trying to convince people they have women at their whims and have a very active social calendar.

But as usual, reality is another matter.  

 
 

[Gylden]

Let’s say Jim has been in communication for the last several months with several ladies in the FSU say 5. Jim is not sure if any of them would make a good wife for him. He believes that if he makes a one or two week trip and meets these women in person he will learn something (other than which one is better in bed) that he has not been able to determine from the several months of his communications.
Two of them don’t speak any English; one of them speaks, so so but often misunderstands without an interpreter.  Two of them are fluent in English. (This doesn’t have anything to do with disclosure, but I thought I would just throw it in)
So Jim decides he will arrange a trip. He doesn’t want to tell the women that he is going to see other women during his trip (he remembers well what happened on that infamous visit to his sister, in fact his sisters job is on the line now as a result of the fact one of the girls he was in contact with, was the bosses daughter) He has it planned out well, he will just say that he will be in Russia in about two weeks and that maybe they can get together. (He will say this to each of them). He doesn’t want to lie, but he doesn’t want them to know the exact time he will arrive as well, because then they might begin to suspect something.  He is feeling pretty good about his plan at this point. He is in control, as he will call each one of them when it is their turn.
This is beginning to feel a little strange to the 5 women, because Jim still hasn’t said when he is actually coming. The two English speaking women just ask him directly, (hey Jim when are you arriving?) Now Jim has a problem, does he disclose everything now? Or does he lie? Well Jim really believes he is an honest man and absolutely won’t lie, so he spills the beans. Of course those two women are a bit insulted at this point, because they feel that Jim hasn’t been so honest (lying by omission), they tell Jim to forget it and that is the end for them. (Too bad to, because he probably had the best chance to get to know these two women the most, with the common language factor.) Anyway there are 3 more women, so there is still some hope. At this point Jim realizes that his plan has a flaw, he hasn’t told the girls enough about his travel plans and this is making them feel uncomfortable. Then he comes up with a solution, he writes to each girl with a date in which he will meet them. Girl 1 he will meet the day he arrives, girl 2 the day after and girl 3 on the 3rd day. OK back on track, this will solve everything.
Now when Jim gets to Heathrow he sends an SMS to girl number 3 (the one who is so so in English) that he will be arriving in some hours and is looking forward to seeing her tonight. Then OH NO!! He realizes that he made a mistake and that he is supposed to see girl 1 tonight. OH SNIP!! (You can guess that now she is becoming aware of Jims plan as well)
Well Jim makes it to Russia and spends an uncomfortable week with the two girls who need a translator, but it doesn’t go so well and he really hasn’t learned much more about those women either with all of the chaos. He tries to meet some locals, has a little fun, but no real progress in finding that someone special.
In the end there will always be some sort of disclosure, if you try to hide what you are up to, you are deceiving yourself to begin with. Just think, maybe you pull off such a trip without any of the women finding out and one of them really turns out to be the one. Maybe one day she will see in your passport the dates of that first trip and that could create some questions. Then there will be the disclosure again.
I just want to apologize a little in advance if this angers anyone, I don’t mean anything personal to anyone. I admit I have a strong opinion about this subject and many others will differ with me. My belief; WMFOVO!
OK well that’s enough from me for now.