When does ex AW meet new RW?

[viking]

If an AM has children, at some point in time his new RW wife will most certainly meet his ex-wife. It could be a birthday, a graduation, a marriage, who knows. And there are other life changing events where both the ex-AW and AM must meet and perhaps bring with him his new wife.

I know that a meeting with a new AW is one situation, but an RW may bring other aspects as well. For those of you who have an ex-AW, did you plan any type of meeting to introduce your new wife, or was it an event out of your control? And did it make a difference if she was still divorced versus having a new mate as well.

[Vaughn]

Vike ~ sorry I couldn't get back to you earlier today. Got busy around the house...

I can't even recall the circumstances when Elvira met my ex, Rosemarie. Roe and I,
by 2002, at least, had a pretty functional divorce going on 7 years. A year after we
split, she met and developed a serious relationship with a man I turned out to like very
much - as he was good and responsible around my daughters when they were with
their mother. Unfortunately, this man passed away unexpectedly in 1999 or so, and I
attended his funeral in a display of respect for both of them.

No squabbles here, but we do maintain our distance. Only for an occasional birthday party
will Elvira and she cross paths - and still, it stays very civil. If one was still grinding some
old axe I imagine it could be a trying event - those are days I hardly miss.

[greg2654]

My wife and my ex met at my sons graduation. Irina was not interested at all in meeting my ex just to meet her. They actually got along quite well for a couple of years although now I wouldn't dare leave them alone in the same room together.

[boaterguy]

This is a nasty topic for me. My ex is very bitter and condescending. I saw our marriage progress just like 2 generations of her mothers before her. Both divorced...bitter towards ex's. I was with my ex wife when her mother saw her Grandmother for the 1st time in almost 20 years. My ex has now been estranged from her mother for over 10 years because she let her father start seeing the boys.

And ,yes, my ex treats me the same way. I have never said a bad word about my ex to my boys. Quite the opposite is true about what my ex says about me. At this point my boys and I are estranged....keeping my fingers crossed....one is in college(contacted me once when he need some serious coin for school,got it, and hasn't called since),the other in the navy. This actually kind of happened when I married my ex. My boy that's in college stopped seeing me completely when my wife came to the states. While we were engaged,and waiting on the paperwork he told me one of my ex's nice comments about my wife. She called her an internet whore whenever she spoke of her.

My ex has only seen my wife once...at my stepfather's funeral. Thank God it was the only time their paths have crossed. No words were spoken. I would wager my ex was probably shocked when she learned my wife is older than her!

So much for rambling. If your ex is a wife from hell like mine I would say do everything you can from allowing them to meet!

[KenC]

My ex American wife never met Lena in the 11 years we were together.  But of course we have not been face to face since the divorce 17 years ago either.  I never asked my adult children much about their mom and only have heard an occasional comment or two.  One comment early on was that my ex had asked my daughter how her Dad's Russian adoption was going?

My heart goes out to you, Boaterguy.  My ex tried her best to put a wedge in between my kids and I during the divorce and some time after too.  I can tell you how I handled that situation.  In the beginning, I had to almost force myself on my kids.  Not in a mean way but in a very persistant way.  Not asking anything about their mom, but constantly reassuring them that I divorced their mother and not them.  I relentlessly told and showed my love and concern for them.  The result of my actions is that today I am closer to my children than they are with their mom.  They know they are unconditionally loved by me.  Don't give up.  Be pro active:call them on the phone to ask about their lives, go visit them even if not invited and generally let them know you care.  Stay away from the subject of their mother and anything derogatory said about you.  It is much better to "show" them who you are than to "tell" them.

If there is anyone that is more computer savvy than I that can post the clip from the TV show Modern Family where Ed O'Neil's new hot young Colombian wife meets his ex American wife played by Shelley Long, it is a hilarious treatment of just this topic.  Sandro?
KenC

[SANDRO43]

If there is anyone that is more computer savvy than I that can post the clip from the TV show Modern Family where Ed O'Neil's new hot young Colombian wife meets his ex American wife played by Shelley Long, it is a hilarious treatment of just this topic.  Sandro?

Ken, if it's on YouTube:

1. Copy the clip address (URL) from the navigation bar at top of the YouTube window.
2. Paste it into your intended post.
3. Select the pasted URL and click the YouTube icon (2nd from icon row 2, above the row of smileys).
4. Voilа - you can try Preview to see if the above works.

If not on YouTube, post the URL here and we'll see what can be done with it . I suspect the Flash object icon should work, but I never tried it before.

[KenC]

and then

[SANDRO43]

and then

Well, I can't get at it from its URL because it says:

This video is not available in your country due to copyright restrictions.

But I can post it here, since RWD is not in my country :

[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rs3XKsYYDZ0[/youtube]

[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FM0NIEyPsEw[/youtube]

Cannot play them here, however .

[smilingjake]

Viking ---

I will be dealing with this issue right out of the chute. My youngest son invited Tatianna and mysrlf along with my ex wife and her boyfriend for Christmas dinner.

I guess time has a way of healing a lot of pain and past incidents. Ironically the ex called me last night and asked if I minded that she would also be meeting my oldest son at the airport this Saturday night. I told her of course not, its her son also and he'll be happy that both of us were there to see his arrival.

She then told me she was very anxious to meet Tatianna and she is very happy I found someone to share my life with. This wont  be the first time we've been at the same table breaking bread since the divorce ( nine years).

We were at my sons fourth of July picnic this past summer and I  shared my photos of my trip to the Ukraine and the photos of Tatianna and I together.

I also spoke with Tatianna about the Christmas dinner and she is fine with the arrangements. She is a definate keeper !!!

jake

[thompsongunner06]

Ha,,,,My "Russian" wife does not ever wish to see my ex,,,she has seen her at an event or two for my kids but thats it. My wife hates that my new wife is,,to be blunt,,, HOT. My kids are adults now so school plays and stuff are over. If we had to do that she would of course go but she would stay kinda back if the ex was around. She has no interest to even see or talk to her.

[docetae]

My wife met my ex first time for Christmas. It was in "demilitarized zone" , my ex and I are godmother/godfather of one child and we were bringing gifts to him.
Everything went well. I will recommend to have this first meeting in one place with a lot of people to avoid issues...

[wiz]

Viking

I was never married to an AW but to a UK citizen one and to be honest never had any problems, even when we divorced, regarding access to my kids etc.

We only talked about our divorce details for 30 minutes, decided not to waste our money in solicitors and court fees and we had an amicable divorce timely. Ever since we remained in very good terms and always in big occasions we join and celebrate together.

When I met my English long term girlfriend and we went to visit my young kids together for first time, my ex saw her in the car, came out and invite her in the house. After that no problems whatsoever and they always were very friendly to each other. In actual fact both in every big occasion, like my 2 son’s weddings acted extremely friendly and then on my 60th birthday party in Prague my ex joined us, at her expense. We are divorced since 1981.

When my current Russian wife came to the UK in Christmas 2007 she met my 2 sons and both treated her very friendly and ever since became fond of her too.

The opportunity has not arised yet for my ex wife to meet her but always keeps asking me on the phone, how she is doing etc….. and a Christmas card just arrived for her, which took both of us by surprise!

I expect my ex long term GF, which is local she will behave the same way, because she is the same type of person, as my ex, if we meet on the street or elsewhere.

My Russian wife is a little bit shy but I am sure she will act accordingly when we meet both of them, which I guess will be soon.

Maybe I have been very lucky in this, so far and I hope it will continue.


PS: The videos are not working!