homestays

[Oosik]

The homestay in Kiev was cool, only two nights, because I knew I would find what I needed in a small town. I think for a first, exploratory trip, or even if you are starting a very long trip, the homestay is important. It is a great way to meet people, learn the ropes etc. The daughter of my homestay "parents" actually works for an agency, so she was a great contact, and I learned alot about the "Kiev Proud" syndrome that many of the girls here have. Plus, I will have an inside track on Kiev apartments now.

But in Chernigov, the Apartment was awesome. I was able to invite girls (with the interpreter) to come view pictures on my laptop. By the time I met my fiance, the interpreter was able to speak well of me and told the girl  it would be safe to go there for tea or to look at my pictures if the Cafe's were too full. The first kiss may not have happened with a homestay.

[Bruce]

So now you are engaged?  How long did you know your "fiance" before you popped the question?   How did you propose?  Details are always interesting to hear.  Thanks and congratulations .   By the way, I tend to think you are rushing things a way bit, but it would be interesting to hear your thought process.

[andrewfi]

Ach, at least she kissed him...

[Oosik]

I have a trip report going.

Andrew, you caught me. I am marrying the first FSU girl who ever kissed me. Actually, she is the first girl ever, unless you count one who had to due to the rules of "spin-the-bottle" when I was 10. I always wondered why they never invited me to play again...

[Oosik]

So now you are engaged? How long did you know your "fiance" before you popped the question? How did you propose? Details are always interesting to hear. Thanks and congratulations . By the way, I tend to think you are rushing things a way bit, but it would be interesting to hear your thought process.

Please don't use quotation marks when referring to my fiance please, it looks like you intend to diminish or belittle my engagement. I'll assume it is a grammar issue, which I cannot fault as I need help too.

[BC]

Oosik,

I believe the quotations were more of a "putting the cart before the horse" indicator than anything truly derogatory.

Don't expect many 'high fives' from most of the crowd here.. They have seen too many in similar situations fail miserably.

[Jack]

I keep waiting to read jb's response to this thread.

[Turboguy]

So now you are engaged?  How long did you know your "fiance" before you popped the question?  

I keep waiting to read jb's response to this thread.


LOOK UP IN THE AIR.  IS IT A BIRD?  IS IT A PLANE?  NO, IT IS THE VULTURES LOOKING FOR NEW ROAD KILL!

I am just joking guys.  Don't take that seriously.   It really was not directed at the posters who are good guys.  I just thought it was funny.

Oosik,  I am enjoying your trip report and the story of your trip.  You have my best wishes for your happiness.

 

[TigerPaws]

[color="blue"][size="4"]Oosik,

 It is not how long you knew the girl before you asked her to marry you but what you do now that will make or break the relationship. [/size][/color][color="#0000ff"][size="4"][color="blue"]I believe an engagement is the time two people should use to get to know each other and  this is why I took another year and a half to finish the K1 process, I intentionally  made the process go slowly in order to give us the time to really get to  now each other. My lady had no idea how long the process would take and I used  that to my advantage, writing her and spending a great deal of time with her to  be sure she was the one for me.

[/color] [/size][/color]

[BC]

Turbo,

I think many of the guys are getting tired of singing the same old "Prevent Roadkill" song over and over again. 

I'm really surprised most of em still keep trying.

[Turboguy]

I know what you mean BC.  They seem to though, and it really doesn't accomplish anything.   There have been one week wonders for years and there will be till it all dries up, then there will just be one week wonders from the Phillipines or S.A.   They can use the clue bat all they want and it is just going to bounce off. 

[TigerPaws]

[color="#0000ff"][size="4"]Turboguy,

 Part of the problem  is that there is always 1 week wonder success stories, we lived near 2 couples  in central California and both were 1 week wonders. Both were married to Russian  girls, both had an 18 and 19 year age difference and both met outside of Russia  before processing the K1 and neither man ever went to visit the girls in Russia  before they arrived in America. Yet both have been happily married (as best we  can tell anyway) for over 4 years now, one couple has a 11/2 year old son and  the other is expecting their first child this spring. [/size][/color] [color="#0000ff"][size="4"] Of course for every success story  there are many failures but you rarely hear about those so the myth of the  successful 1 week wonder continues.[/size][/color]

[Oosik]

It seems to me that if a one week wonder starts to ask "why is she asking for $5,000" or "why is she never home to answer the phone", then you can jump in with the "well you dumb sh*t, you were a one week wonder!"

Otherwise who the hell are you to give a guy crap anyway? Advice before the fact is one thing, but after it's a done deal, you only serve to annoy and get yourselves removed from the Christmas Card List.

And for any of the strike-out kings or sex tourists, out there, I just don't want to hear it. We come from different planets.

[Turboguy]

I agree with everything you both said.  Being a one week wonder is not a sure road to falure.  Yes, I was one and I failed.  Could be one again someday.   I have always felt you could know someone a long time and really not know them.   I think you can get a pretty good feel for someone in a week and yes, you may get some surprises but you could make a dozen trips and get the same surprises.

[Turboguy]

Personally, I think you will be fine Oosik,  You seem like you are doing a lot of things right and I am looking forward to hear more of your TR.  I think you will get lucky and not get jumped on for being a one week wonder.   I have a feeling you found a pretty good gal.

[Oosik]

Thanks,
I have been doing my research for years, and have read a buttload of trip reports and other things. My trip last summer acclimatized me to the point that when I got to Ukraine I was not disoriented at all, and I already understood a lot of the culture, or at least enough that I was ready to deal with the ladies on a rational level.

[Bruce]

Oosick, "fiance" was not a gramatical error, but was an attempt to highlight the met today, engaged tomorrow sort of behavior commonly associated with MOB that I apologize for, but sincerely believe will either never go to fruition, or end up as a personal disaster for you unless you, as Tigerpaws said earlier, use your K-1 period to your advantage and really get to know your fiance well enough to complete the K-1 visa, successfully adjust to life in Alaska so you do marry and have a scam free life in the future.  I do not have statistics, but I have seen way too many guys meet today, engaged within a week either A.  never complete the K-1, B. complete the K-1 without marriage or worst of all, C. get suckered for all their scammer could get out of them prior to the fruition of their ultimate personal disaster when their ticking time bomb of a sweetheart, her divorce lawyers and others got done sucking their poor husbands bones dry. 

I see you have a trip report, so the details that will help other guys looking for a potential wife and your thought process behind your actions will be there.  Thanks, and by all means I sincerely do wish you well, but again caution that unless you seriously do your homework with your fiance you are setting yourself up for a personal disaster.

[Oosik]

Girls of 21 who are still saving themselves for marriage (or at least after engagement) are probably low on the scammer list, whatever country they come from. After all, if she wanted to peddle it for fun or profit, she would have have been doing it with UM before now rather than waiting for a gullible AM.

When said girl knows that I am a schoolteacher in an Eskimo village of 1,000 people, and that we will live there for at least a year or two, I feel comfortable that it would take a very stupid or very dedicated scammer to see a percentage in it. Her loneliness and her innocence were not faked, nor were her quiet tears in the cab as I was leaving. She also speaks 3 and a half languages, so she isn't stupid. Whether or not she fully understands her decision, who knows. Like any of us do. But she sure resisted the idea of me taking her out to eat or party. We didn't eat out together one time, her idea. Wouldn't a scammer test my generosity?

[dorogoyroberto]

Mr. Oosik.

I admit to a puerile curiosity: have you told your fiance of your nickname on this forum, and what it means?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oosik

Roberto
Kiev, Ukraine

[andrewfi]

I often wonder given that so many guys seem to go down this route of meet a woman and get engaged; many times have you been engaged/married before?

How long was the courtship on those occasions?

If you succumb so easily to women who do not share the same native tongue, what is it that is so different that enables one to know so fast? What is it about a foreign woman that enables the discovery and choice to be made with such despatch?

[Bruno]

Mr. Oosik.

I admit to a puerile curiosity: have you told your fiance of your nickname on this forum, and what it means?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oosik

Roberto
Kiev, Ukraine

 

:D:D

[Oosik]

When I started teaching here, a student (eskimo) said "oosook" to me in a rude way. I asked a white teacher who was married to an eskimo woman what it meant. Instead of the correct response (Hey you, come here), he accidently translated it for me as "Oosik", which is the penis bone of the walrus. When I figured out that an oosik could be 2 feet long, I thought "at least she didn't call me a hampster d*ick", and even with the correct translation of what she said, I still think it's very funny.

My fiance will probably never see this board. I put my trip report on here to pay back for others that I have learned from, and I doubt I will visit much once she is here.

Andrewfin, you know that I think you are not serious about marriage, and so I don't think you have any chance of understanding me. I will say that I was married once, to a woman 2 years older, and we dated/lived together for 6 years before marriage. So anecdotally, time together before marriage is not necissarily an indicator of a successful marriage. Seeing as how most people who marry these days live together first, and "really know each other" and yet divorce more than 50% of the time, I feel comfortable in thinking that the old fashioned way may be just as good if not better. Arranged marriages are more successful than the typical western marriage, even those arranged by families from eastern cultures who live in the west.

I found a woman who is ready for love and marriage, who was as lonely as I, and who is as much a romantic believer as I, maybe more. She is young enough and innocent enough to believe that love conquers all, I am old enough to know that my life will be sweet and beautiful if I do everything in my power to never make her doubt her belief, even though I know that it does take more than love. I imagine many of the men here who married younger women know what I am talking about. I also know that several of you have no idea and just think I'm nuts, and I feel sorry for you.

[dwfunk]

Can be a 50%... but i think more a 100%...

No one FSU woman have accept a first intimate date in her own  appartment... too much fear that neightbour see her with a foreign  man...

The first four days I was there, I stayed with her in her flat at her invitation.

-david