Natural Born Health experts

[TigerPaws]

I find it slightly disturbing that some of you know how much exactly your wife weighed this morning and that you feel the need to share this information with internet board. Do you actually weigh them daily to make sure they haven't gained extra pounds? Or do you casually ask them at breakfast 'and how is our weight this morning, my dear?' I wonder if they share the same kind of information about you on Russian forums...

LoL,

 My lady dose not write on RW forums so that is irrelevant in my case, as for knowing her weight, my lady is very concerned about her health, figure as well as her appearance and checks her weight almost daily. As for posting my ladies weight on a public forum? So what, like you are going to question my lady about it or something?
 

[MandM]

- edit by moderator - MandM after removing comment of Tigerpaws your reply was out of context.

Subsequent posts deleted. Please continue without flaming.

[TigerPaws]

- edit by moderator - MandM after removing comment of Tigerpaws your reply was out of context.

Subsequent posts deleted. Please continue without flaming.

Moderator,

 Please do not take offence but lighten up  a bit of light hearted flaming can be both fun and interesting as long as it is not personal.

 

Agreed. Don't forget smilies next time or I will slap you:zappedhim:

[TigerPaws]

Agreed. Don't forget smilies next time or I will slap you:zappedhim:

 

LoL... You never know I might like that :hairraising:

[jb]

The poor girl probably checks and reports her weight to you daily  because you put that clause in the pre-nup agreement,,, she gains a few  pounds, and you boot her to the curb.

Hell-of-a-way to live.

[TigerPaws]

The poor girl probably checks and reports her weight to you daily because you put that clause in the pre-nup agreement,,, she gains a few pounds, and you boot her to the curb.

Hell-of-a-way to live.

 

LoL jb, no curb out here but it would be a long swim to shore and FYI yes their is a clause in our pernup about her weight with a long list of time based exceptions.

As for being a Hell-of-a-way to live, no one asked you to do it this way so try not to criticize what you do not understand or accept. 

 

[Jet]

I find it slightly disturbing that some of you know how much exactly your wife weighed this morning and that you feel the need to share this information with internet board.

:noidea: My wife is proud of it, and I'm proud of her....so why not?

[Admin]

My wife is proud of it, and I'm proud of her....so why not?

I think, to the extent the behavior (remaining slender) is principally due to controlling behavior by the man - that would be a distressing situation.

If the choice is entirely the woman's - then I am sure MandM will agree that there is no harm in exchanging that information.

I don't know how much Olya weighs right now - but I doubt it is 5 pounds one way or another from the time she arrived here 5 years ago.

She is proud of her shape, and works to keep fit and trim - but it is entirely her decision.

I also read one of the posts to sound like the guy was rather obsessed with his wife's weight and was asking her about it each day - primarily as a controlling mechanism to make sure she remained in the shape that HE wanted. I can see how the post was interpreted that way, and how MandM might have the reaction she did.

FWIW

- Dan

[Jet]

I think, to the extent the behavior (remaining slender) is principally due to controlling behavior by the man - that would be a distressing situation.

If the choice is entirely the woman's - then I am sure MandM will agree that there is no harm in exchanging that information.

 

After reading TigerPaws response about the pre-nup, I would have to agree that your first point would indeed be distressing.

Lil, is similar to Olya in that she lost @ 10lbs for her own satisfaction. She says she feels better now and is entirely self driven to stay where she is, weight wise. I'm proud of her for taking the initiative to do something good for herself. (As far as asking....I've never asked her weight since we first met online, she has volunteered from time to time though ) 

[TigerPaws]

If the choice is entirely the woman's - then I am sure MandM will agree that there is no harm in exchanging that information.

I don't know how much Olya weighs right now - but I doubt it is 5 pounds one way or another from the time she arrived here 5 years ago.

She is proud of her shape, and works to keep fit and trim - but it is entirely her decision.

I also read one of the posts to sound like the guy was rather obsessed with his wife's weight and was asking her about it each day - primarily as a controlling mechanism to make sure she remained in the shape that HE wanted. I can see how the post was interpreted that way, and how MandM might have the reaction she did.

FWIW

- Dan

Dan sense you chimed in on this, I will ask you what would you do if over a peroid of say 6 months your lady gained say 100 lbs. While she was gaining this weight you are saying that you would not say anything to her? You are telling me you would accept her desire to be 100 or more pounds overweight?

 Please this is just a hypothetical question and nothing personal.

 

[Admin]

Dan sense you chimed in on this, I will ask you what would you do if over a peroid of say 6 months your lady gained say 100 lbs.While she was gaining this weight you are saying that youwould not say anything to her? You are telling me you would accept her desire to be 100 or more pounds overweight?

Please this is just a hypothetical question and nothing personal.

Hey TP,

No problem - nothing personal taken.

Your hypothetical has a premise that I find invalid. I cannot recall ever having met a normal woman who expressed a desire to add 100 pounds.

My ex-wife notwithstanding, I normally manage to be a pretty good judge of character and the people with whom I associate are - for the most part - all fairly normal and have a reasonably high level of self-esteem. I've made a few monumental mistakes, but those are anomalies.

Few persons who feel some pride in their appearance will allow themslves to become grossly obese - which is the definition of 100+ pounds overweight.

Now . . . let's take a different hypothetical. Let's assume that the person does NOT desire to gain weight - but out of life circumstances which are NOT within their control (steroids for a medical disorder, for instance), they become more and more obese.

If I have established a bond with that person, and if we have the kind of relationship I have with Olya, I honestly do not think her obesity would be any kind of negative factor in terms of my feelings toward her.

You see - obesity is, IMO, often a symptom of low self-esteem and a lack of personal pride. That speaks to a characterological disorder and is much more significant than the symptom itself.

I probably haven't answered your question as you intended - but it is my heartfelt belief that no person should be subjected to controlling behavior by another. Coercion, in any form, is a destructive negative.

None of the above is intended to be a commentary on your situation. I have read enough of your story to know (or rather, believe) that you are truly unique and have a fulfilling relationship. I hope you and your family are all happy together, and I get the sense that you are. I also see that your approach is far more logical than most. Romantics will have difficulty coming to understand your perspective. But yours is a valid perspective and you have a lot of useful experience to contribute to others - even if they find your comments sometimes lacking in the sensitivity they would feel more comfortable with.

FWIW

- Dan

[TigerPaws]

Dan sense you chimed in on this, I will ask you what would you do if over a peroid of say 6 months your lady gained say 100 lbs. While she was gaining this weight you are saying that you would not say anything to her? You are telling me you would accept her desire to be 100 or more pounds overweight?

 Please this is just a hypothetical question and nothing personal.

Hey TP,

No problem - nothing personal taken.

Your hypothetical has a premise that I find invalid. I cannot recall ever having met a normal woman who expressed a desire to add 100 pounds.

My ex-wife notwithstanding, I normally manage to be a pretty good judge of character and the people with whom I associate are - for the most part - all fairly normal and have a reasonably high level of self-esteem. I've made a few monumental mistakes, but those are anomalies.

Few persons who feel some pride in their appearance will allow themslves to become grossly obese - which is the definition of 100+ pounds overweight.

Now . . . let's take a different hypothetical. Let's assume that the person does NOT desire to gain weight - but out of life circumstances which are NOT within their control (steroids for a medical disorder, for instance), they become more and more obese.

If I have established a bond with that person, and if we have the kind of relationship I have with Olya, I honestly do not think her obesity would be any kind of negative factor in terms of my feelings toward her.

You see - obesity is, IMO, often a symptom of low self-esteem and a lack of personal pride. That speaks to a characterological disorder and is much more significant than the symptom itself.

I probably haven't answered your question as you intended - but it is my heartfelt belief that no person should be subjected to controlling behavior by another. Coercion, in any form, is a destructive negative.

None of the above is intended to be a commentary on your situation. I have read enough of your story to know (or rather, believe) that you are truly unique and have a fulfilling relationship. I hope you and your family are all happy together, and I get the sense that you are. I also see that your approach is far more logical than most. Romantics will have difficulty coming to understand your perspective. But yours is a valid perspective and you have a lot of useful experience to contribute to others - even if they find your comments sometimes lacking in the sensitivity they would feel more comfortable with.

FWIW

- Dan[/quote]
Dan thak you for the thoughtful reply and sometimes there are extenuating circumstances but not always. My first wife was fine for about 14 years then she went through a complete personality change into what could best be described as a completly different person. Was it a mental illness? There was no way of knowing short of having her involuntarily committed which was not going to happen for to many legal reasons. In the course of a year she gained 125 lbs, started smoking, drinking and abusing prescription medications.

 As with most things there comes a time to cut your losses and move on, this can happen to anyone, anytime without warning fortunately careful planning can soften the effects and make rebuilding your life easier.

 

 

[dostogirl]

This is my wife as well. Her favorites include Pizza, cheesesteaks, tacos, and of course McD's doubleCheesburgers. She absolutely hates "rabbit food". She does however dine on the above delacasies in moderation so as not to aquire the trademark "American @ss"  

My favourite is Burger King though..   I do not care about my weight. And my husband loves me in any shape and size. Besides, he is such a great cook, I just can't help eating his dishes...

[LatinSwede]

This is my wife as well. Her favorites include Pizza, cheesesteaks, tacos, and of course McD's doubleCheesburgers. She absolutely hates "rabbit food". She does however dine on the above delacasies in moderation so as not to aquire the trademark "American @ss"  

My favourite is Burger King though..   I do not care about my weight. And my husband loves me in any shape and size. Besides, he is such a great cook, I just can't help eating his dishes... [/quote]
 I prefer Taco Bell and Wendy's myself.  Every once in awhile, I'll go to my favorite family run, Italian restraunt.  I splurge $23 and some change on a big Sicillian Piza with double cheese and extra meat.  This is also the special bachelor's way of Grocery shoping.  I'll buy a their huge Pizza knowing I can't eat it all, and for the next 2 days I'm nuking cold pizza slices for dinner.

Ukraine and Russia have long histories of tragedy and hardship.  Does this have to do with why they seem to treat food like it's sacred?  Please correct me if I'm wrong.  In no way do I consider myself an expert on the matter.

[Albert]

dostogirl, you are in a dreamland if you truely think as you say:  " And my husband loves me in any shape and size."

Any man or husband who say such things fall into one of about 3 categories.

1) It is true.

2) He is lying, but just wants you to think he will love you always and no matter what.  Men find its a good ploy for short term relationships to say such things.  He just doesn't want to 'rock the boat' . . . right now.  Sort of like the man replying to your question "Does my ass look too big in this?"  by saying: "No."  Amazing how many women fall for these and similar words.

3) He is worried about other guys looking at you and/or stealing you away; so he thinks if you become chubby (or more) it will cut down on that risk.  I have seen this happen several times over the years.  But then at some point, the man dumps the chubby gal and looks for a more slender one.

I wouldn't bet too much money on number 1.

[Bruno]

A husband and wife are celebrating their 50th anniversary. That night the wife approaches her husband wearing the exact same sexy little negligee she wore on their wedding night. She looks at her husband and says, "Honey, Do you remember this?"

He looks up at her and says, "Yes dear, I do. You wore that same negligee the night we were married."

She says, "Yes, that's right. Do you remember what you said to me that night?"

He nods and says, "Yes dear, I still remember."

"Well, what was it?" she asks.

He responds, "Well honey, as I remember, I said, 'Ohhhhhhhhh Baby, I'm going to suck the life out of those big b00bs and screw your brains out!'"

She giggles and says, "Yes honey, that's it. That's exactly what you said. So, now it's 50 years later, I'm in the same negligee I wore that night. What do you have to say tonight?"

Again he looks up at her and looks her up and down and replies, "Mission Accomplished."

Soory, a little drink... i am in good mood :D:D

 

[TigerPaws]

LOL!!!!

 

I needed a good laugh.

[dostogirl]

dostogirl, you are in a dreamland if you truely think as you say:  " And my husband loves me in any shape and size."

Hm...well, my husband is no Thumbelina himself   Besides we've been together for a long time and once some time ago I used to be size 14. It was not a problem for my husband and he never told me I need to lose weight. That's one of the reasons I love him - he appreciates me as I am..

[Son of Clyde]

My sisters in law are both from other countries and they were discussing the health benefit of certain foods with my wife. I found out over Christmas dinner that my wife had added pigs blood to my coffee in Kiev. Apparently blood is good for health but I am feeling very ill right about now.

[Shadow]

Clyde, she should have used human blood. It is harder to get bu much better for your health :huh:

[TigerPaws]

[user=130]Son of Clyde[/user] wrote:

My sisters in law are both from other countries and they were discussing the health benefit of certain foods with my wife. I found out over Christmas dinner that my wife had added pigs blood to my coffee in Kiev. Apparently blood is good for health but I am feeling very ill right about now.

YUCK!

 

[Son of Clyde]

Now she says she was joking. My family and I thought she was being serious.

She can joke with a straight face and can fool me everytime.

[Son of Clyde]

dostogirl, you are in a dreamland if you truely think as you say:  " And my husband loves me in any shape and size."

Hm...well, my husband is no Thumbelina himself   Besides we've been together for a long time and once some time ago I used to be size 14. It was not a problem for my husband and he never told me I need to lose weight. That's one of the reasons I love him - he appreciates me as I am.. [/quote]I do believe your husband will love you at any size. He would be more happy if you were thin, but it is only physical appearance. Albert, when you love someone you do not deviate from this if the person adds a few pounds. You can be suttle and let them know it is better for their health to shed a few pounds.

[Albert]

"Albert, when you love someone you do not deviate from this if the person adds a few pounds."

This is totally false.  But, to back up, this conversation did not start assuming a 'few pounds.'  Dostogirl said something like, "love me no matter what my shape."

This is what happens in many discussions here.  The respondents change the words somewhat and exagurate in one direction or another, in this case in was in the lower direction by use of words 'a few pounds.'

But in any case, it is totally false to state that love will continue . . . no matter what the poundage (or looks in general) of the other person.

Some may take the high road and assert that they would never stop loving another because of weight, etc., but they are just blowing smoke up our 'xxxxx' and deluding themselves with such rightous talk.  And worse, their words convince their significant other that it is actually true, which will only make the poundage increase.