Sex - the other side of the coin.

[BC]

No real need for escalation imho.  The answers are quite simple..

If whatever bedroom lifestyle you prefer is a MUST then maybe best to say something up front.

If it is an OPTION that you can do without then maybe wait until the 'pillow talk' stage to feel things out.

I think it's quite reasonable to accept whatever adults do in their own private sphere is ok as long as there is mutual consent.

I don't have too awful much experience with FSU women but I am confident enough to say that sexuality in FSU is more in-line with European views (including talking about sex).

I don't really find much at all in this thread as obscene.  In light of other posts on this board it's even quite 'tame'. Sexual questions have come up in the past and it should'nt be a problem to talk about it at this level..  I take it everyone here is over 18 or?

[jb]

BC wrote: 

I don't have too awful much experience with FSU women but I am confident enough to say that sexuality in FSU is more in-line with European views (including talking about sex).

I called this to my wife's attention and she simply said, "That guy is sick".  So maybe the FSU view on what is a proper sexual orientation is not so different after all.  The idea of a BDSM lifestyle has offended at least one RW.

[LarsXYZ]

I think it's quite reasonable to accept whatever adults do in their own private sphere is ok as long as there is mutual consent.

Hi BC, I agree with you absolutely.

In my opinion, what is going on between two adults, should in any case be with deep respect, agreement & understanding to each other. For my part, mutual love/ respect & understanding should be above all the other things incl. sex.

Another thing. In my opinion wife & husband should be equal in all aspects of relationship.

Best regards Lars

[jb]

Another thing. In my opinion wife & husband should be equal in all aspects of relationship

How does this jive with you earlier statement? And I quote:

For my part I ment BDSM with roleplay's etc, where i'm in the dominant position.

It doesn't sound like the wife is going to be quite as equal as you would like us to believe. 

[BC]

LOL jb,

I am also quite sure women from all over the planet could be offended, but that's the point in my response.  If such a lifestyle is a MUST then one would be better off being up front about it when looking for a long term relationship.  I don't think one could reasonably state that ALL RW would reject this lifestyle.  Sure the dating pool would be more limited but who really knows until they try.

My comment re 'in-line with European views' is not stating that all RW or EW would accept such a lifestyle, just that I found views of sexual issues, nudity etc in FSU par with my experience here.

I sure don't want to be a bedroom line-judge or walk around wearing a 'Squirt.. don't Spank' Tee shirt!

:D

[LarsXYZ]

How does this jive with you earlier statement? And I quote:...

Hi JB, your question clearly shows that you dont know what BDSM is.
However, since you brought up a polite question, I will answer:

The main element in BDSM is roleplay, that means that this is just a play, where one of the two have desires to "transfer power", that means that he/ she is submissive. The other part is then the dominant.
Such play requires a lot of love, trust & understanding, furthermore it is of strictly importance that limits of the two involved persons isn't breached.
More to read here (if you want):
http://www.sado.dk/sisc_c.html
Look under "What is SM"

You asked polite & so I answered

Best regards Lars

[Vaughn]

BC wrote:

If such a lifestyle is a MUST then one would be better off being up front about it when looking for a long term relationship. 

Makes sense to me.

So, Lars, do you bring the matter up early in your corrspondence, or quit wasting most ladies' time and just advertise your preferences in a profile?

I've never found intimacy so empty that I had to fortify such with hardware store purchases.

[jb]

I sure don't want to be a bedroom line-judge or walk around wearing a 'Squirt.. don't Spank' Tee shirt!

Nor do I, BC,,, nor do I.

However, this board has a more noble purpose, I believe.  That is to help men in this process avoid the pitfalls, GCGs, pro-daters, outright hookers, and scammers.

There are, in any social cultural setting, on every side of the planet, an element of sickos.  You can find a lot of 'em right here in the USA, they are even celebrated on national TV with shows like "Will & Grace", and one I couldn't believe called; "Queer Eye For The Straight Guy".   Social degenerates, led by a liberal media, tell us we should embrace the oddfellow within our midst.   I'm all for Brotherly Love, but that's a bit much for even me.

The point of my objection to telling someone they are OK looking for a BDSM partner, (other than personal disgust), is simple:  A man may find such a woman and marry her.  She may even be hottie,  but,,, where do you suppose a girl like that could develops such unusual sexual appetites?  Most likely she got that way by being a "for hire" tart, and as such has been rode hard and put away wet on a nightly basis for a long time.  Since, from what I can read, a lot of the mystique of BDSM lifestyles involves swinging and wife swapping with a little group grope thrown in for good measure, then an ex-hooker would be just the ticket for the exercise.  Maybe there are some men who actually believe in the old Russian classical lit regarding the whore with a heart of gold, however, I think we can safely say the real world doesn't work that way.   I personally would not want to marry a woman with such a background.  In their heart of hearts, I don't think very many other men do either.

I would say bluntly to any man, seek out the sexual oddity at your own peril. 

[TigerPaws]

 While I am not in favor of the lifestyle being discussed I do not see it as a problem being discussed in this forum, there is undoubtedly ladies within the FSU which subscribe to this kind of thing so perhaps a a limited discussion would be in order. There is noting forcing anyone to read and or post any response to anything someone wants to say as long as the posting is not overtly offensive, just because someone disagrees with what is being said does not make it wrong.

 I believe most people will agree that any kind of personal attacks are unwarrented and unwelcome by anyone and not necessary to the discussion.

[Bruno]

A man may find such a woman and marry her.  She may even be hottie,  but,,, where do you suppose a girl like that could develops such unusual sexual appetites?

A father who punish his daughter for bad behavour...

 

[Bruno]

Can give this when the daughter become adult :

[BC]

Vaughn,

I spent a few years together with a woman that enjoyed some practices along the lines Lars describes from time to time.  Was quite 'interesting' and at her request but nothing considered a staple.. more like spice.  We had an otherwise normal relationship and I think that being able to share more intimate desires/fantasies together was quite positive and not negative.  Certainly not 'empty'.

I guess it's pretty much along the lines of 'hey.. whatever floats your boat'.

[TigerPaws]

Bruno,
 
 There is a fine line between a nice smack on a bare backside when two adults are playing and something which inflicts real pain. Where that line is I am not sure but like art most reasonable people know it when they see it. Anyway it is not my place to say when it happens between consenting adults behind closed doors.

[Admin]

OK - since I was asked for an opinion, here it is.

The subject of BDSM, as a topic, is out-of-bounds for this board. It is simply not topical. Since this seems to be what started the latest firestorm, I wanted to address that explicitly.

To the extent someone wants to ask about the 'norms' in women from the FSU, there is some latitude that approaches that line - but it shoud be clear to most when it is crossed.

As I saw this topic developing, I became concerned that it may have crossed the line, and jb (true to form) pointed it out. Also true to form, jb pointed it out in a manner more harshly than I might have, and probably did cross over into the 'abuse' category.

The board members should know by now that I am not planning to step in, unless there is a need to do so. The board is largely self-moderating. I have not edited any of the posts - but would appreciate the following:

* Please keep explicitly sexual topics off the board. For one - we do NOT have any kind of warnings or entry provisions to restrict viewers of the board to only adults. It is entirely possible that underage (younger than 18) visitors will be viewing what is written here.
* Since sex is a part (important part) of the human condition and naturally a part of the interactions between Western men and FSU women, there will be legitimate topics that appear from time to time. Please be circumspect and responsible about those postings.
* If, and/or when, we see someone veering off course and venturing into a topical area we know to be off-topic, I *urge* tolerance and a gentle effort to guide people back to the topic at hand. Nearly everyone, when faced with a perceived attack, will 'dig in their heels', and it makes them MUCH more intractible. Most of the time, with some gentle persuasion, reasonable people will accept redirection and subscribe to the rules of the board.

Sound OK?

- Dan

[Maxx]

Thanks JB, I have been called a proven psychotic before but never a proven psychic. It's an improvement to be sure.

I thought I had allot to be concerned with in trying to explain my past with a RW. But this is nothing in comparison in trying to explain this need. Although I would suspect guys of this nature have ways of detecting women of that nature. Photos from perspective RW in black leather mini skirts with chrome dog chain choke collars for necklasses and a little tatoo of a black hammer-n-sickle perhaps?

I guess I am adding fuel to the flames. Sorry Dan.

Maxx

 

[jb]

Dan wrote: 

Also true to form, jb pointed it out in a manner more harshly than I might have, and probably did cross over into the 'abuse' category.

Don't worry too much, Dan, Lars is into BD&SM, he loved it.

[Admin]

Don't worry too much, Dan, Lars is into BD&SM, he loved it.

jb, Lars has posted on some other topics, and his posts do not seem to be imbalanced at all. I think he is here to make a contribution, and we need to give him the BOD.

- Dan

[philb]

What are you? Some kind of lawyer besides being a perv?

 

Rotflmao

[Zhena]

All I wanted to say here-never write about ur sex preferences in the FIRST letter! Write about it,when ull be sure that ure compatible with ur woman mentally at least...If ull write about a sex in ur first letter-a normal woman can be scared. Discuss it later.

[Todd]

Fiancee's point is a valid one.  In the first letter, one shouldn't talk about the loving being left hanging upside down (or whatever else you are into).  Nice girls won't reply, and you will get only rotten apples and prostitutes.  I don't have much experience with Russian women...a few friends and a wife is all...but, I have found that the last thing that they want to talk about initially is sex...However, it isn't due to embarassment or shame; it is just in poor taste.

 

 

[Rvrwind]

I will add a little comment here & point blank say that any fool who writes about his sexual preferences & or the size of his tool (I've seen it happen) in an introductory letter is plain and simply an indecent idiot. When such letters come through my mail to my ladies they have but one address, the trash.

Any decent human being with any interactive skills & common decency is going to get to know the lady at least a little before laying such garbage on her. Most translators refuse to translate such garbage & also refuse to give it to the lady because it makes them feel dirty. Your sexual preference etc. is your buisness, do me & my staff & my ladies a favour & keep it your buisness, we really don't want to know about it.

But offering it up in an introductory letter, that is just plain low class & most women, at least honest real women I know, would trash it before you could blink, mainly because it shows a great lack of tact or class.

However, it isn't due to embarassment or shame; it is just in poor taste.

EXACTLY!!!

RVR-Canadian Cowboy/Agency Owner

[info_man]

[size="4"]I  recently posted about a very, very, very, highly sexual woman. Such  women are very, very, very rare. As such, it is unlikely that any one  man has ever encountered such a woman. And, with a couple of possible  exceptions, that has proven to be the case with the male posters on  these discussion boards.

Some guys have had experiences with women who were willing and wishing  to have sex whenever the man wanted. But that doesn't even begin to  describe a very, very, very, highly sexed woman such as the woman I met  and described. By their own words, most posters (including the one I  quote below) reveal (even when they didn't intend to) that they  completely misunderstood the situation or couldn't even comprehend it.



On a related note, many male posters have the idea that the typical FSU  woman is possibly better at sex, or at least more interested in sex  than the typical AW. I don't think that is the case. Women are women  the world over. Most have normal (for a woman) sex drives (which are  lower than the normal man's), quite a few have low sex drives, and a  very few have high sex drives.

In response to my earlier post, a AM responded with the 'other side of  the coin.' Through private e-mails, he gave me permission to post his  story.

- - - - - -

Sex. Ah, one of my favorite subjects. This has been a sore point in my  marriage to my UW. We have been married 6+ years and except for  occasional minor miscellaneous problems, sex is the only thing about  the marriage that has disappointed me.

We have a 12+ year age difference. My wife is 38 and a very attractive  woman with a beautifulfigure. When I met her she was cute but she has  blossomed into a magnificent creature. Very sexy, at least to me, which  I guess is the most important thing. I don't know if I ever have met a  couple with equal sex drives. People who try to determine what is  "normal sexual activity" are stupid and wasting their time because it  is a very complicated subject, especially when you consider the complex  emotional makeup of women compared to the primaeval sex urge of most  males.

My preference is twice a day, morning wake-up sex and whenever else in  the day you can do it. Three or four times/day is nice occasionally and  sometimes I can go one or two days without a strong desire to make love  to my beautiful and sexy wife.

My wife is a once or twice a week gal. When I first went to Ukraine to  meet her, I had a long discussion with her about my sexual needs. I  told her right then if she was not a person who enjoyed this level of  intimacy, or something close thereto, that we should not pursue the  relationship any further. She had a very good knowledge of English when  we met. She understood perfectly what I was talking about and she said  that she too had the same type of needs. Of course our initial time  together confirmed this as our relations were frequent and incredibly  intense.

After we married things began slowing down. We have had many  discussions about this. She has said that when we first met the  emotions were very intense but that it is natural for these types of  feelings to diminish with time. I told her that my desire for her has  increased over time as she has blossomed into a mature woman and as my  love for her has grown stronger.

It's not just about sex. I love this woman so much and sex is one of  the primary ways that help me feel closer to my woman. I feel more  distant when there is less intimacy. It's also not just about  intercourse either. I love to kiss and cuddle and hold hands and sit  close to each other. My wife appears bored by this most of the time.  When we do make love it's incredible. I have no desire for any other  woman ever again in my life. Honestly!

The point I am trying to make is your woman seems to be my side of the  story. Obviously you will make every effort to please her and keep up  with her in the courting stage but will you be able to keep it up so to  speak? It sounds as though you have discussed this issue in detail and  that she says she understands and can accept what you have to offer.  You need to be honest with yourself and whether you can continue to  make her happy.

Even after all of that, there are no guarantees that things will stay  the same and that both of you will continue to be happy with this  aspect of your relationship. I will never leave my wife because of this  issue and I will never cheat on her because my love for her is stronger  than my sexual needs but it is a source of disappointment that I deal  with on an ongoing basis just like I always wanted a boy but that never  happened. Oh hell, having a perfect wife would probably be boring.

Good luck to you.
---------------------------------------------------------------



Wow, I am 35 and making love or having sex twice a day would be  unrealistic for me. I have to say most women or the ones I have been  involved with would love a husband who wants sex twice a day.
good for him to have such a healty sex drive. Now I need to see a shrink..lol

Info_Man
[/size]

[Albert]

RVR writes: "Your sexual preference etc. is your buisness, do me & my staff & my ladies a favour & keep it your buisness, we really don't want to know about it."

Now this position of yours seems a little strange, given the importance of sexual compatibility.  And, you seem to be talking about all sex, not just abnormal sex (what ever that is).  And if you are talking about only abnormal sex, then how will the two parties know what is abnormal . . . from their and  the other party's standpoint?

So if you and your staff don't want to know about it, then how will it be conveyed to the particular ladies of interest?  And if 'my ladies' don't want to know about it, then how will they know they aren't wasting time in a relationship that will be doomed by lack of compatibility?

[Albert]

"All I wanted to say here-never write about ur sex preferences in the FIRST letter! Write about it,when ull be sure that ure compatible with ur woman mentally at least...If ull write about a sex in ur first letter-a normal woman can be scared. Discuss it later."

Just for discussion sake, what amount of time should the two parties waste on corresponding with each other before they learn of their sexual incompatibilities?

[Jack]

Albert, not sure I would agree that corresponding with someone with the hopes of getting to know them better would ever be a "waste of time".