Who do you dress up for?

[CanadaMan]

It's common knowledge here that FSU women as a whole, 'dress to kill' compared to typical western women.
They look like a million bucks, whether they can make a million or not.

Who are you dressing up for?

I'm posting to the 'Questions to Russian Ladies' forum to hear from women specifically.
Even if you are married to a FSU woman or have one as girlfriend, I'd still prefer that you wait until the women here have told us their answers first.

Their answers may surprise you.
 

[pitbull]

The stereotypical FSUW "dress to kill" style as shown in many photos by Jack, will be highly inappropriate in most social situations in the West.
Personally I dress for the situation, being overdressed is as bad taste as being underdressed. Don't like to stick out like a sore thumb.

Have sweats, hoodies etc as a substantial part of my wardrobe and don't remember when I wore real heels last time. Hopefully not too shocking 

[Blues Fairy]

Same as pitbull except for the sweats and hoodies; and I do wear high heels sometimes (in fact, last winter, my only pair of cold-weather boots (brought from Moscow) was on super high heels and platforms; I went to the birth center wearing them, and came back home with my daughter wearing them.  )

[innakrug]

I still dressing up. My husband ask me the same question: "Why you dressed up you just going to the doctor?" At doctor's office I would be the one who has make up on Why we are dressing up? I do not know. I guess it is cultural thing, but probably it is started because in Soviet Union everything and everybody had to be the same. Same apartments to live in, same transportation, same salary. We wasn't able to express ourselves in any other way except clothes. Good clothes make women to feel good about herself and be more confident when she know that she look nice. Also, when you dressing up you showing other person (or people), that you have respect for them and you took time to prepare yourself to go out

[Ranetka]

 
I dress up for the occasion. I like to wear scirts a lot though but I think it is mostly because I wear jeans for work. So I tend not to wear jeans while not at work. I still like hills but very rarely wear stilettos now. And I happily wear truck suit bottoms and a hoody when going food shopping. 

I do not wear make up unless for the occasion.

[CanadaMan]

Interesting to hear so far, that most dress for the occasion.

...Why we are dressing up? I do not know. I guess it is cultural thing, but probably it is started because in Soviet Union everything and everybody had to be the same. Same apartments to live in, same transportation, same salary. We wasn't able to express ourselves in any other way except clothes. Good clothes make women to feel good about herself and be more confident when she know that she look nice. Also, when you dressing up you showing other person (or people), that you have respect for them and you took time to prepare yourself to go out

The ability to express yourself now makes a lot of sense compared to the FSU days.
You also state that you dress up both for yourself and for other people.

I was surprised to hear my GF tell me that she dresses up just for herself.
I was expecting her to say for a man in particular or a particular audience.

[Ludmila]

I am pretty convinced that, ideally, a lady is supposed to be the source of esthetic admiration for the surrounding people ( for kids, strange as it may seem, in the first place: the child will keep life long memories of mom's perfume, the nice fabric of her dress, etc).....

It isn't always possible to look your best, but a lady should try.

I would like to think that a true lady always knows what is appropriate, and what is not for the occasion ( I will never wear anything super trendy for a sad occasion in my / other people's life ).

At work a stylish, neatly dressed  elegant lady is nice to look at and work with. Bright  make up and accessories are obviously  inappropriate at work .

If I go for a walk, I am always wearing sports pants and a hoodie ( the same is at home).

If we are visiting somebody, and I know there won't be old people and kids there, I can afford wearing something sexy and tight fitting, highlighting the advantages of the figure.

On holidays I try to wear something that is sure to lift my mood.

If I am not dressed nicely, my husband asks me, whether there's anything  wrong or whether I am not feeling oK :-)

A nicely dressed ( KIND! AND FRIENDLY !) lady  creates a happy mood for herself and the surrounding people.

It is a break through the mundaneness and commonness of everyday  life.

[Lily]

Hm, good question where the answer does not come easy

I think that I dress in order to arrange my outer shell to the outside world in a particular situation. Dress helps our inner self to come out in a manner that we want it to. Dress represents us; it shows, or better, it assists us to show what we want to show in a given time under given circumstances.

I also agree with what other ladies said. Looking good, we also express our respect for other people around us.

[Mila]

I think it came from Soviet Union times when all people were the same, they were equal and nobody stand out. Right now, every woman wants to be different from others and to attract peoples' attention. I bet, every woman who goes shopping for clothes, looks for something special and unique, something what other women didn't buy Yet. It may seem weird, but there are so many women who buy beautiful clothes for the last money, they will not spend money on good food, but they will definitely spend on nice, sexy clothes. It is true!
We dress for ourselves first of all, as it helps to be more confident and express our inner world and mood; then for other people to look at us and admire. In general, the idea of beautiful clothes exists in our mind from our birth and it is a natural thing. To my mind, it is important to look good and to have a good taste in clothes. But for every occasion, there is an appropriate clothes and we shouldn't forget about that    

[Ranetka]

I think it came from Soviet Union times when all people were the same, they were equal and nobody stand out. Right now, every woman wants to be different from others and to attract peoples' attention. I bet, every woman who goes shopping for clothes, looks for something special and unique, something what other women didn't buy Yet. It may seem weird, but there are so many women who buy beautiful clothes for the last money, they will not spend money on good food, but they will definitely spend on nice, sexy clothes. It is true!
We dress for ourselves first of all, as it helps to be more confident and express our inner world and mood; then for other people to look at us and admire. In general, the idea of beautiful clothes exists in our mind from our birth and it is a natural thing. To my mind, it is important to look good and to have a good taste in clothes. But for every occasion, there is an appropriate clothes and we shouldn't forget about that  

Mila, judjing by your age I do not think you know much about Soviet times. We then tried to dress nicely and stand out just the same as now, probably even more.

Ludmila,

what you say is really so banal and "общее место", sorry, not sure how to translate is. Overdress\underdressed\dressed approprietly differs culture to culture and social class to social class.

I am happy that living in the West changed my perception a lot and I no longer have to dress to kill or be dressed sexy (to show figures advantages as you nicely put it) to feel good.

[Shostakovich]

Hm, good question where the answer does not come easy

I think that I dress in order to arrange my outer shell to the outside world in a particular situation. Dress helps our inner self to come out in a manner that we want it to. Dress represents us; it shows, or better, it assists us to show what we want to show in a given time under given circumstances.

"Every depth requires a surface" -- Sartre

[Jack]

I am happy that living in the West changed my perception a lot and I no longer have to dress to kill or be dressed sexy

This just goes to prove that some women will and do change certain things about themselves when they do relocate.

I am quite pleased to know, and see, that a great many Russian/Ukraine women who move to the west do not change this aspect of themselves and that they still want to dress to kill, to still dress sexy.

[CanadaMan]

Thanks to those who have replied so far! It's nice to learn about this topic from a woman's perspective.

I had thought that a woman was always dressing up for a target audience.
First, for a potential mate. Then later for her boyfriend or husband to keep him 'on his toes'.
But it doesn't appear to be the case from the responses so far.

It's also interesting to hear from FSU women who have moved to the west and now look upon their dress in a different way.

 

[Doll]

I work as a teacher so dress up for work. On the weekends it is not as fancy but still no sweatpants or hoodies in public.

[Ranetka]

This just goes to prove that some women will and do change certain things about themselves when they do relocate.

I am quite pleased to know, and see, that a great many Russian/Ukraine women who move to the west do not change this aspect of themselves and that they still want to dress to kill, to still dress sexy.

Sometimes I do not understand men. I remember one forum member describing women in Kyiv by saying "they dress like hookers but they are not", and another one proudly saying that his wife was wearing transparent top at the party and other women would not talk to her. To me this is awful. It is ok in Kyiv but not here. I do not want to look like a hooker unless I go to a night club and want to look tarty. I saw so many East European women aroud here dressed like hookers and with horrid red hair. Add to it a husband 20 years older and people around lauph behind their backs...
I can still dress up if I want to and do sometimes  lto ift up my spirits or just for fun but I no longer have to.

[pitbull]

This just goes to prove that some women will and do change certain things about themselves when they do relocate.

I am quite pleased to know, and see, that a great many Russian/Ukraine women who move to the west do not change this aspect of themselves and that they still want to dress to kill, to still dress sexy.

I guess those FSUW who do not change and adapt are those having most trouble.

There are many topics here on "Why oh why do my family and friends not accept my new FSUW  They are just jealous of her "dress sexy" style". In the US, they just simply look like hookers at worst and ridiculous and out of place at best. Unless these women tone down their "style" they are often bound to be social outcasts, unable to make friends with Americans or land a professional job.

I agree with Ranetka on that a woman in the West is a person first and foremost, and not just a "nicely wrapped piece of meat".

[Lily]

This just goes to prove that some women will and do change certain things about themselves when they do relocate.

Women are changeable creatures. We are almost always ready to change ourselves in order to adapt to our surroundings in a way that we deem necessary.

It's also interesting to hear from FSU women who have moved to the west and now look upon their dress in a different way.
 

When I came to work in Germany, the first thing that I noted at work was absence of make up on my female colleagues. I realized that this is something that is not welcome here. Needless to say that it was my last day when I wore makeup at work.

In the States I noticed that I probably don't need sexy dresses in order to be attractive for men. I wore jeans and stretchy shirts, and still felt myself attractive, unlike back home in Russia.

[Blues Fairy]

In the States I noticed that I probably don't need sexy dresses in order to be attractive for men. I wore jeans and stretchy shirts, and still felt myself attractive, unlike back home in Russia.

Here in Raleigh I get honked at in the streets regardless of what I'm wearing.  

[mies]

1) to show respect to people around me - same way as people dress up to the theater, or special occasion - there are different ways to dress up appropriately and nicely for any life situation.

2) to play a particular role. Sometimes to tell people who I am, sometimes to deceive people and play the role of a person I am not.

3) sometimes (very often) people have very self-centered view of the world. They feel like everyone is noticing them, and everyone pays attention to what they are wearing, and that they are under-dressed, or over-dressed. In reality - most people are as self-centered as everyone else is, and as a result - nobody really gives a *** what I am wearing, because they only care about what they wear. 

[ML]

Here in Raleigh I get honked at in the streets regardless of what I'm wearing.  

Well, we all have our problems.  I get honked at a lot too.  But usually when I am in a car and don't notice that light has changed green.

[ML]

Many (most) women in USA who dress very, very nicely for work get quite defensive if it is suggested they are trying to be attractive to men.

They will angrly reply "I dress only for myself !"  Well that is pretty hard to believe.

On the other hand, many business women I have dealt with in FSU have said to me (with respect to their looks):  "All what we do, we do for men."

It was quite refreshing to hear the honest and obvious answer.

I do note that there is a very broad spectrum of replies here from the ladies.  Perhaps we all move toward a center position over time.

[innakrug]

Many (most) women in USA who dress very, very nicely for work get quite defensive if it is suggested they are trying to be attractive to men.

They will angrly reply "I dress only for myself !"  Well that is pretty hard to believe.

On the other hand, many business women I have dealt with in FSU have said to me (with respect to their looks):  "All what we do, we do for men."

It was quite refreshing to hear the honest and obvious answer.

I do note that there is a very broad spectrum of replies here from the ladies.  Perhaps we all move toward a center position over time.

 :noidea: I respectfully disagree I do dress up for myself, especially, when I am felling down. I think it should be some clarification about "dress up" definition.  In America it means put on dress on or nice skirt and nice sweater, in Russia it means make special effort in clothing (because skirts and dresses is very normal choice of clothes for everyday)

[Blues Fairy]

They will angrly reply "I dress only for myself !"  Well that is pretty hard to believe.

If you ask with a clearly stated prejudice, no wonder you get angry replies.  Nobody likes their truthful answers being dismissed like that.

[Boethius]

Many women do dress to please themselves.  Some women dress for men, and some women dress for other women.

[CanadaMan]

1) to show respect to people around me - same way as people dress up to the theater, or special occasion - there are different ways to dress up appropriately and nicely for any life situation.

3) sometimes (very often) people have very self-centered view of the world. They feel like everyone is noticing them, and everyone pays attention to what they are wearing, and that they are under-dressed, or over-dressed. In reality - most people are as self-centered as everyone else is, and as a result - nobody really gives a *** what I am wearing, because they only care about what they wear. 

An interesting but somewhat contradictory reply mies.
You start by saying you dress "to show respect to people around me", but you end by saying these very same people only care about what they wear and don't care about what you are wearing.

So why would you try to show respect for people who don't care about your efforts?