An Anastasia Date in Odessa

[Maniac999]

Just curious - what is your education, Alex?
You seem to be very practical and reasonable in your search..
You ahould write a book:-)

[alex330]

Similarly, I'm frequently amazed at the incisive ability of some (clearly gifted?) people to derive a concise yet comprehensive assessment of two strangers and their relationship potential based solely upon a few short paragraphs.

Yes, one can only smile as people who do not know you paint such a different picture of who you really are and the type of relationships you seek and form.  

I had to leave out certain parts of the trip report for privacy reasons but there are a few unusual things that make the story better and much easier for our relationship to succeed.

[alex330]

A few additional notes about my trip which may prove funny to those who have been or useful to those who have not -

1. Superstitions. I was intrigued at the superstitions out there. A rogue taxi will charge one price going one way and a third the price the return depending on direction due to luck for example.

2. Photography seems to be very popular. Reminds me of the Japanese back home in Hawaii. Can someone enlighten me? Maybe Odessa is just a more touristy city so I saw more of it?

3. Engagement rings are not traditionally given. That is changing a bit, but only wedding bands are normally used.

4. At no time did I feel any danger. The people were all very hospitable even if they did not smile a lot.

5. I saw an insane amount of weddings over the weekend next to the Opera house. Maybe twenty or more. It seems like an unusual number for a city of this size. The wedding registry is next to the Opera house and it was also Spring so maybe people plan for this time of year? My personal  interpreter had another explanation though. After the collapse of the USSR things became more unstable and with less tradition. Marriages and relationships are not as strong as they used to be and are looked at more in a free market way. Women get fat and old and men drop them. Men have a financial hardship or medical issue and women divorce them. People get married young to get out of the house and get divorced and move on very fast. This enables all those weddings to keep happening.

6. Food was very good and very reasonable

7. I met several groups of men out there on similar quests. Most of the stories did not have a happy ending. Would be nice for them to post experiences if they are reading.

8. My AMEX failed to work out there. There are currency exchanges all over but make sure the American bills you exchange are new and undamaged or they will to take them.

[brave girl]

I sometimes wonder if perhaps this section should be renamed "Trip Defenses" or "Trip Judgements"?

It does seem to happen too many times.

alex330:

Feel free to comment, criticize and add any input......

  brave girl

[brave girl]

Yes, one can only smile as people who do not know you paint such a different picture of who you really are and the type of relationships you seek and form.

If you provide the canvas the painting is easy!!    brave girl

[kievstar]

The OP did nothing wrong during his trip in fact seemed to do everything right.  Based on what he wrote (there are deeper meanings in the words than the words themselves) I believe Tanya is really into him.  Not wanting to do the K-1 down the road and marrying in country with a K-3 is another sign of a sincere woman.  If you want to marry this girl, she would do it in an instant.  The deal is sealed and its your choice and move now.

Do not worry about her parents if your a good guy, with no physical handicaps, and make good money they will easily accept you.  The men you hear about having issues with in-laws would have the same issues with in-laws in the USA. Some men just will never get along with in-laws regardless of country.  Its an urban legend Russian parents are hard to get along with.  No different than American parents.

If your serious, go to Ukraine next visit.  Flying to Ukraine from USA is cheap and takes less than 1 day from Miami.  You should be going over Memorial weekend.  Fly Thursday and fly home on Monday. Gives you 3 days.

The garbage people right about if you could marry a younger women in USA why go to Ukraine?  You guys will never get it.  There are more reasons to marry someone from a different culture than just she looks good and younger.  For example in the expat community most men are divorced and married to foreign women.  Why - American women generally will not travel around the world and hate living in South America, Asia and Europe. Most American women prefer to live in America.  The expat community is more than 1 million and more than 50% have foreign wives. 

[alex330]

The garbage people right about if you could marry a younger women in USA why go to Ukraine?  You guys will never get it.  There are more reasons to marry someone from a different culture than just she looks good and younger.  For example in the expat community most men are divorced and married to foreign women.  Why - American women generally will not travel around the world and hate living in South America, Asia and Europe. Most American women prefer to live in America.  

You hit it on the head. It is not about age, looks, or money in the end. It is about compatability and love I think. 
I have lived most of my life in Central and South America and have friends from all over the world. I plan on living permanently overseas in the near future. I tend to have more in common with people from other cultures than most Americans due to my background even though I am as apple pie by blood as you can get.

[Mark8000]

Alex330-
Great trip report- I haven't read one as interesting as this for a long time. You should be particularly commended for directly answering literally every question posed. Good for you !! Hopefully you will let us know in the future how things progress with Tanya.  

Brave Girl-
I find your posts in this thread to be well grounded and very insightful- although obviously abrasive.
This forum continues to benefit by your participation.    

[Jumper]

Alex-
nice trip report!

no ,it wasn't me who had any thing "personal" against anastasia date/web or a profile there?
That must have been some other poster.

Many many years ago , (i was in Ukraine on a trip )i did notice that way too many of the profiles
 were ghosted . the person did not exist at that address ,and never had ,things of that nature.
 As well as pro daters and other somewhat typical grey area scams. 
but certainly there are legitimate and  serious RW listed with those sites as well.



Your trip ,and it's outcome so far ,remind me very much of my own experiences there.


 From what you have posted , I would expect Tanya to remain cautious ,, gator points out the *whys* well.




somewhat off topic-

maniac- while what you infer about families "might" happen ..

It was,and is ,  not my experience at all.
They were/are very traditional ,and it is completely natural to want to meet any man ,regardless his nationality , their daughter was serious about ..
who might become her husband ,or be the father of their grandchildren
(they see no  other reason to marry than to start a family)
it was natural she would want me to meet them ,but only when she felt our relationship was something of substance. There are a lot of good FSU families , and they have quite natural interests in their daughters welfare and romantic interests.No hidden agendas needed or gifts wanted.

[tim 360]

Alex, Just finished your trip report and thanks for taking the time to post it.  Glad you had a good time and let us know if things evolve with Tanya.  Noticed some found fault with you but don't worry about it that happens.  Good luck!

[GQBlues]

The garbage people right write about if you could marry a younger women in USA why go to Ukraine?  You guys will never get it.  There are more reasons to marry someone from a different culture than just she looks good and younger.  For example in the expat community most men are divorced and married to foreign women.  Why - American women generally will not travel around the world and hate living in South America, Asia and Europe. Most American women prefer to live in America.  The expat community is more than 1 million and more than 50% have foreign wives. 

Kievstar-

LOL. There was a *disclaimer* in my post.

As for culture, USA likely have the most population of people of varying culture found anywhere on this earth, including those from the FSU. As for the the physical appearance aspect, it was the OP who admitted he's a superficial type of guy.

The rest of your post was a bit too convoluted to decipher.

[BillyB]

I sometimes wonder if perhaps this section should be renamed "Trip Defenses" or "Trip Judgements"?  Similarly, I'm frequently amazed at the incisive ability of some (clearly gifted?) people to derive a concise yet comprehensive assessment of two strangers and their relationship potential based solely upon a few short paragraphs.  I was a Shakespeare director and yet never managed to develop such an incisive understanding of my actors despite scores of hours spent working with them.  I clearly have a lot to learn.

Good post but I've read these forums long enough to understand outsiders not blinded by love save men on the FSU battlefield more money and prevent heartache more than those who remain silent. It's ok for others to point out red flags whether or not they are right or wrong as long as they don't throw insults out if their warnings aren't heeded.

Alex made a very bad call to use Anastasia Date if he knew their reputation before signing up. He may have voluntarily had a big hand in the wasted time and cost of trip. Men take enough risks in this endeavor and knowingly adding to the risk is foolish.

I hope Alex can salvage something special out of this trip but I'm not convinced Tanya likes him as much as Alex is hoping for. He wrote to her only a week before visiting and he announced he was going to visit. Bad call IMO. I would never announce to women I am coming soon. If I feel she really likes me, then I'll make that announcement. Women would get excited about a foreign man visiting even if they can barely tolerate his looks. Tanya may never have written Alex back solely based on his photo and intro letter.


The main woman Alex went to see wasn't serious about him. Using an honest agency, Alex may have been able to determine that before making a commitment to visit only her. I hope Alex can salvage something special out of this trip report but I'm not convinced Tanya likes him as much as Alex is hoping for. He wrote to her only a week before visiting and he announced he was going to visit. Bad call IMO. I would never announce to women I am coming soon. RW would get excited about a foreign man visiting even if they can barely tolerate his looks. Tanya may never have written Alex back solely based on his photo and intro letter.

Alex now has a tougher job to evaluate if Tanya is really into him since he disclosed he was arriving. She said 3 months is not enough time to decide on marriage. She is a wise woman or she simply understands her feelings and now stalling for time and going to continue dating other men. I'm sure as beautiful as Alex has described her, she is not starving for attention, especially if she goes to the bar a lot. She has plenty of attention from males. She may settle for Alex if there are no better suitors in the near future. Alex earlier admitted he feels Tanya is keeping her options open and he is removing all his profiles. Alex, you should leave all your profiles up and let Tanya know that it's her call if they are to be removed.

[alex330]

Alex made a very bad call to use Anastasia Date if he knew their reputation before signing up.

 I'm not convinced Tanya likes him as much as Alex is hoping for. He wrote to her only a week before visiting and he announced he was going to visit. Tanya may never have written Alex back solely based on his photo and intro letter.

The main woman Alex went to see wasn't serious about him.

She said 3 months is not enough time to decide on marriage. She is a wise woman or she simply understands her feelings and now stalling for time and going to continue dating other men. I'm sure as beautiful as Alex has described her, she is not starving for attention, especially if she goes to the bar a lot. She has plenty of attention from males. She may settle for Alex if there are no better suitors in the near future. Alex earlier admitted he feels Tanya is keeping her options open and he is removing all his profiles. Alex, you should leave all your profiles up and let Tanya know that it's her call if they are to be removed.

I wish I had known Anastasia rep before signing up.... I found out several months later after much correspondence with Olga.

Tanya likes me more than she lets on. Trust me. I talked to her for several months before visiting Odessa actually. Our conversations had been escalating. She contacted me initially and was the aggressor.

The main woman I went to visit, Olga, was obviously not even the one who wrote me.

I think Tanya may just want to be sure I am not going to dissapper suddenly so is still talking to other guys that she has probably communicated with for some time. Does not bother me. Of course she gets attention. Any good looking woman gets attention. Settle for Alex?  HAHAHHAHAAHA. Not sure how to tread on this one without sounding arrogant and possibly hurting someones feelings who I now care about.

I do not have the time or interest in pursuing other options right now to keep profiles up. I am not going to play games with her either. I think it may the the "too good to be true" mentality somebody posted earlier.

[BillyB]

Tanya likes me more than she lets on. Trust me.

Then go for it. You don't have to talk marriage but talk about getting into a commited relationship. Although marriage shouldn't be a man's goal with a RW in meeting with her for the first time, getting into some type of relationship should be unless leaving the FSU empty handed is the goal.

Have a serious talk with her and tell her you want to have a committed relationship. Lay out your version of the rules such may be that you both need to focus only on each other during this time and work toward building a stronger bond. If you both can't do that outside of marriage, it probably won't happen within marriage.

Without a relationship, she is free to do whatever she wants. If you do enter in a relationship with her, then you could begin to observe her behavior patterns before thinking marriage. If she's almost never home at nights, that is a bad sign. If she avoids your calls a lot after work, that is a bad sign. If she continues to be logged on the internet at the agency, that is a bad sign. If you enter into a relationship with her and she changes her behavior such as removing her profile and accepting your calls even when she is with her friends and tells her friends to wait instead of telling you to call back later, that is a good sign.

Lock her up before you two grow further apart. It's your move to make, not hers.

[alex330]

Then go for it. You don't have to talk marriage but talk about getting into a commited relationship. Although marriage shouldn't be a man's goal with a RW in meeting with her for the first time, getting into some type of relationship should be unless leaving the FSU empty handed is the goal.

Without a relationship, she is free to do whatever she wants. If you do enter in a relationship with her, then you could begin to observe her behavior patterns before thinking marriage. If she's almost never home at nights, that is a bad sign. If she avoids your calls a lot after work, that is a bad sign. If she continues to be logged on the internet at the agency, that is a bad sign. If you enter into a relationship with her and she changes her behavior such as removing her profile and accepting your calls even when she is with her friends and tells her friends to wait instead of telling you to call back later, that is a good sign.

I agree with you 100% here Billy. I already told her that at some point I need to know this will be going somewhere so I do not waste my time and energy. I think we are still feeling each other out at this stage. No need to rush things. We have talked morning and night on skype since I returned. She has sent me numerous emails. She is punctual as am I about meeting online to talk and accepts calls or texts at any hour. At this point she and I are free to do whatever we want. Hopefully that will change as we get to know each other better. We are taking it slow is all and want to make sure it all works out. This is the hard part of this quest I think. Going over and meeting a woman and getting along was the easy part. The next year or two will prove to be the difficult part of the journey. For me at least.

[BillyB]

I think we are still feeling each other out at this stage.

Unfortunately you have one hell of a job proving your worth being on the other side of the ocean now. Time and distance usually separates people and currently as it stands now, she doesn't feel she seen enough of you to make a commitment to you. I think you are going to have to make another trip overthere just to improve the odds of getting the answer you are seeking. It's up to you if you feel she's worth it and you have a realistic chance on making things happen.

Keep in mind, Tanya is listed at Anastasia Date. Women talk and she clearly knows other women there are lavished with gifts and vacations from the men visiting. Don't underestimate all her motivations on getting hooked up with a foreign man. Maybe she is totally sincere or maybe she's been tainted by the agency industry.

[Gator]

If it goes well, you could meet her parents at the end of the trip.  Meeting the parents is a BIG DEAL with sincere UW.
 
 A very doubtfull statement, sorry to say that.....I know PLENTY of ua families

Our experience differs.  Four times I did the "meet the family."  All four remain as special memories, some of my fondest meetings. 

I will never forget toasting vodka with the gold toothed, charismatic father who never stopped talking even though I could not understand a word.

In one case it was just the grandmother (more later).  THE LAST THING ON HER MIND WAS A GIFT.  She was evaluating me all the time. 

Because I dated older women, one meeting was the reverse - I met the UW's daughter who was about the same age as Alex's Tanya.  She had just graduated top of her class from a fine law school.  One smart dyev!
 
 

As about families with single parent ( Moms, who is usually listed at the same dating sites where the daughters are ) - they even asking a foreigner to make some masculine home jobs ..

I have met several RW from broken families.  I have also met several RW from happy, functioning families.  There seems to be a difference in openness.  I am not saying this is always the case, yet I noted a pattern.  Too bad that I married a RW whose mother and father had divorced early and neither took a large interest in their daughter.

I say meeting the family is a critically important step with SINCERE women.

[Maniac999]

 
 

I have met several RW from broken families.  I have also met several RW from happy, functioning families.  There seems to be a difference in openness.  I am not saying this is always the case, yet I noted a pattern.  Too bad that I married a RW whose mother and father had divorced early and neither took a large interest in their daughter.



Good to hear you were so lucky , Gator.
Could  you explaine me, please, what did you mean in here?
You think, that early divorce of parents can make a spoilt ( bad ) wife?
Sorry for off topic.

[epdx]

I sometimes wonder if perhaps this section should be renamed "Trip Defenses" or "Trip Judgements"?  Similarly, I'm frequently amazed at the incisive ability of some (clearly gifted?) people to derive a concise yet comprehensive assessment of two strangers and their relationship potential based solely upon a few short paragraphs.  I was a Shakespeare director and yet never managed to develop such an incisive understanding of my actors despite scores of hours spent working with them.  I clearly have a lot to learn.

Thank you to the OP for sharing his trip and his well written posts.  I'm glad to hear that you and Tanya seem to have had a very pleasant experience together.

ps. roundtrip airfare Kiev to Punta Cana, Dominican Rep, is approx $1500 via Air France, connecting through Paris, 17 hours out, 13 hours back, including connection waiting times.  www.tripadvisor.com is a great source of information for all locations around the world wrt hotels/things to do, etc.

I had to break my radio silence to wholeheartedly agree with the first paragraph and the 2nd for that matter. Spot on.

[epdx]

The garbage people right about if you could marry a younger women in USA why go to Ukraine?  You guys will never get it.  There are more reasons to marry someone from a different culture than just she looks good and younger. 

Exactly right.

[epdx]

somewhat off topic-

maniac- while what you infer about families "might" happen ..

It was,and is ,  not my experience at all.
They were/are very traditional ,and it is completely natural to want to meet any man ,regardless his nationality , their daughter was serious about ..
who might become her husband ,or be the father of their grandchildren
(they see no  other reason to marry than to start a family)
it was natural she would want me to meet them ,but only when she felt our relationship was something of substance. There are a lot of good FSU families , and they have quite natural interests in their daughters welfare and romantic interests.No hidden agendas needed or gifts wanted.

I'll second that.

[Gator]

Good to hear you were so lucky , Gator.
Could  you explaine me, please, what did you mean in here?
You think, that early divorce of parents can make a spoilt ( bad ) wife?
Sorry for off topic.

I assert that on average the RW raised in a happy and loving family would be more mentally wholesome than one from a broken family.  Nevertheless, exceptions exist.

In America, both parents tend to continue to nurture their children after divorce.  This is not the general case with the few RW I met whose parents had divorced.

With regard to being spoiled, the opposite is true.  I would expect that a functioning family is more likely to have raised a spoiled princess.  This type of youthful spoiling is more easily dealt with than those RW who solely because of their beauty were spoiled
by men.  The latter have learned to work their beauty as prodaters, scammers or just simply insincere women.

Maniac, you have prompted me to make two statements that I expect to be challenged by some here.  If this derails this excellent trip report, I hope the moderators move my posts.

Please recognize that this relates to my recommendation that Alex meet the parents.  The experiences you had with meeting the family suggest that the parents were trying to make some short-term gains rather than evaluate whether you were good for the long-term welfare of their daughter.  Not good.  However, we all know that the FSU tends to give extra weight to the factor "generosity."

[Boethius]

Maniac, you have prompted me to make two statements that I expect to be challenged by some here.  If this derails this excellent trip report, I hope the moderators move my posts.

Oh yeah!  But I'll restrain myself so as to not derail the thread.

[Seeker]

Oh yeah!  But I'll restrain myself so as to not derail the thread.

The thread is a bit up on one rail, I admit.  But at this point... they all seem to deviate a bit.  And the side points sometimes help.  I have no idea how much... depends on how it it falls back together.

But sometimes the tangents do lead to something that is on topic.

Just my opinion. 

[ahangar]

Great  trip Alex330

I was in Odessa myself on business and would love to use your interpreter's services when I visit again in October

Do you have the URL you can send me?

 Many thanks