Life Changes...Part Deux

[Ranetka]

In any way I think Billy is the most clever man in this thread. At least he is getting the girl. What do the rest of posters getting for their precious hours of life wasted reading and posting in this saga?
 
(Ranetka MUST go to bed now!)

[BC]

In any way I think Billy is the most clever man in this thread. At least he is getting the girl. What do the rest of posters getting for their precious hours of life wasted reading and posting in this saga?
 
(Ranetka MUST go to bed now!)

A cup full of pass-time and a bit of procrastination. Girls? have a house full.

Yeah.. it is that time here too...

Poka!

[Jooky]

She at this age is all future, she can be anything, anywhere and can have anything she wants.

And maybe what she wants is to 'sit home', have children and be a 'traditional' housewife. Would you deny her that because it's not what you would have wanted at her age?

She is giving up her most amazing years to live a middle age life and the only benefit everyone can agree on is an American passport. I do not think it's worth it.

Who is to say your early 20s are the 'most amazing years'? I had some good university years, probably better definitely more active than most people, but I can't say these were 'amazing'. I enjoyed my late 20s more, I had some great years in my 30s and the best years are still to come.
What is a 'middle age life' and what is she going to miss out on? Does good life end at marriage?

[Ranetka]

And maybe what she wants is to 'sit home', have children and be a 'traditional' housewife. Would you deny her that because it's not what you would have wanted at her age?Who is to say your early 20s are the 'most amazing years'? I had some good university years, probably better definitely more active than most people, but I can't say these were 'amazing'. I enjoyed my late 20s more, I had some great years in my 30s and the best years are still to come.
What is a 'middle age life' and what is she going to miss out on? Does good life end at marriage?

She can have all of it with a good man of her own age, there are plenty suitors for her, all of them unmarried, no ties, no children from first marriage, with bright future.
 

[Jooky]

She can have all of it with a good man of her own age, there are plenty suitors for her, all of them unmarried, no ties, no children from first marriage, with bright future.

So if she marries a man of her own age, all is well, but if she marries an older man she gives up her most amazing years? Please explain.
 

[GQBlues]

Please beggin you explain what do you mean?

Ranetka-
 
It's my rather (previous) silly attempt at humor in direct correlation to your post about how you tried to restrain yourself from posting in the thread but your 'addiction' was just too strong to keep yourself from doing so.
 
 
Here's post # 1,217
 
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=11638.1217
 

According to Billy, he is on ebay.

LOL, in the wacky world of the MOB, I'd be mildly surprised if someone had already done so...

[Admin]

What on earth IS equal in this marriage?
 
I think to me the biggest unequality is in their life/love experience and possible life choices. Billy has his life "sorted", he has a certain job, certain social status etc. She at this age is all future, she can be anything, anywhere and can have anything she wants. She is giving up her most amazing years to live a middle age life and the only benefit everyone can agree on is an American passport. I do not think it's worth it.
 
I knw Billy says that she recognise him as an amazing man. She would meet plenty of amazing men, at her age there are plenty aunmarried, no ties, with bright future.

Ranetka,

I know you are retiring soon for the evening - but when you get the chance, I am interested in further examination of this entire topic of "equality." For there to be a legitimate claim of inequality, there must be some fundamental basis for what represents equality. Using the obvious example of age disparity, what constitutes equality in terms of the respective ages of the parties? What about income? How are these factors any different in a domestic union? Simple facts remain that men generally out-earn women. That may change in the future, but it is the case today. If income differential represents inequality, then how much differential represents a balance (the ephemeral equality)?

Even more to the point - assuming that we all agree there is a lack of equality (however we end up measuring it), how is that important in practical terms? Does it foretell of imminent disaster? If so, for whom? There are quite a number of men in the US who would argue rather convincingly that the income disparity favoring them statistically becomes a heavy anchor should the marriage founder and the courts decide on equity.

Just a few thoughts.

- Dan

[Ranetka]

So if she marries a man of her own age, all is well, but if she marries an older man she gives up her most amazing years? Please explain.
[/quote
 
 
 
 

[Jooky]

Because she will have to shag 40 years old Jooky. Instead of doing it to 20 years old.

Ok, shagging a 40 year old = give up the most amazing years of your life. That's extremely shallow and silly. I expected a better response from you.
 
 

[pitbull]

Lost the text, too lazy to re-type 

[Misha]

Who is to say your early 20s are the 'most amazing years'?

I was going to ask the same thing. The early 20s for me were pretty crappy years overall.


Also, many make sacrifices in those years in order to benefit from a better future. Lots of students will bury themselves in their books for years in the hopes of getting into medical school, law school, dentistry or other prestigious high paying professions 

[Ranetka]

Ok, shagging a 40 year old = give up the most amazing years of your life. That's extremely shallow and silly. I expected a better response from you.

 
 Sorry for being rude, I lost my patience. As you noticed I deleted my comment, she is only 18, a husband of her own age will grow up and mature with her; she would do the same things 18 yesrs old do - have lots of teenage frends, going out, flirt. Did she actually have a chance to discover what she wants?  etc etc etc. It is things an 18 yo should do in our cultures. Instead it will be a marriage which "older" people have. As Billy obviously is going to be a head of the family and he knows how the family should run.
 
And yes, teenage years are only to be experienced once. And it's a shame to spend them looking after much older husband, cooking and cleaning.

[Misha]

She can have all of it with a good man of her own age, there are plenty suitors for her, all of them unmarried, no ties, no children from first marriage, with bright future.

Yes, and for this reason divorce among young women getting married in Russia is non-existent  All young women will marry or will simply have boyfriends and will be blissfully happy.... Or, wait, does that only apply if the woman is attractive and somehow is more deserving 

[Ranetka]

Yes, and for this reason divorce among young women getting married in Russia is non-existent  All young women will marry or will simply have boyfriends and will be blissfully happy.... Or, wait, does that only apply if the woman is attractive and somehow is more deserving 

No Misha as you very well know all Russian men are alcoholics and wife-beaters, the best choice for 18 yo is to marry 40 yo because when she is 25 no American divorcee will consider her anymore.
 
 

[Misha]

No Misha as you very well know all Russian men are alcoholics and wife-beaters, the best choice for 18 yo is to marry 40 yo because when she is 25 no American divorcee will consider her anymore.

Fortunately, I believe that the happiest and best years of your life can be at any stage of your life...

[Jooky]

Ranetka,

I think you're projecting your own experiences and preferences on this situation too much. What you describe is not necesarily so.
 
A woman can marry an old man and still have friends her own age. That's the case for all women that I know that married older men. Teenage friends? I think teenage is a misnomer. At 19, you're an adult and usually hang out with other young adults, not with adolescents. Flirt? Seriously? If she is married to man her age, she will continue to flirt, but not if she marries an older man?
 
I grant you it could be a different experience than most young ladies her age and there are difficulties to overcome with age gap relationships (whether she is 20 or 60). Is it a worse experience? I see no evidence to make me think so. Would she throw away the most amazing years of her life? I feel sorry for anyone whose best years were over by their mid 20s.
 

And yes, teenage years are only to be experienced once. And it's a shame to spend them looking after much older husband, cooking and cleaning.

Teenage years are over. She's an adult.
 
Again, projecting your own preferences. What if she enjoys cooking and cleaning? Is it a shame to spend her time doing things she enjoys? Would her time be spent better getting drunk and waking up in strangers beds? Or buried in the books? Is her time best spent doing only things that you think she should do?
 
And again, that has nothing to do with age. She could marry a man her age and spend her time cooking and cleaning as well, if that's what she wants to do.
 
I'll close with something you posted that I would never agree with.
 

things an 18 yo should do

What another adult should or shouldn't do is not up to you. Geez, and BillyB is criticized for being controlling?
 

Fortunately, I believe that the happiest and best years of your life can be at any stage of your life...

Completely agree with you, Misha.

[Ranetka]

Fortunately, I believe that the happiest and best years of your life can be at any stage of your life...

I do not disagree.

[Ranetka]

Jooky.
 
Of course I am projecting my own experience. As I said earlier IN MY OPINION that girl can do much better then Billy.
 
Of course I am looking at this situation through my own experience. Do you have daughters?

[Jooky]

I don't have any children.
 

As I said earlier IN MY OPINION that girl can do much better then Billy.

Sure, but 'better' in what way?
 
I don't understand a lot of peoples choices, but it doesn't bother me. What I don't understand in this thread is how some posters seem upset because this young lady isn't making the choices that they think she should make.
 
 

[Misha]

Jooky.
 
Of course I am projecting my own experience. As I said earlier IN MY OPINION that girl can do much better then Billy.
 
Of course I am looking at this situation through my own experience. Do you have daughters?

If that is the case, then in a couple of years she can simply move on....

[Admin]

I don't have any children.
 
Sure, but 'better' in what way?
 
I don't understand a lot of peoples choices, but it doesn't bother me. What I don't understand in this thread is how some posters seem upset because this young lady isn't making the choices that they think she should make.

Jooky,

From the responses I've seen, it seems the preponderance of criticism is directed at Billy and *his* choices rather than hers. I get the sense that most assign little, if any, accountability to the young woman - with some criticism directed at the mom and, of course, Billy is vilified. But . . . I hasten to add that I confess to only joining in the topic since yesterday and missed the past few months of exchange.

- Dan

[brian131]

Regardless of age, I wouldn't marry anyone who hasn't already been divorced.  With the first wife, marriage wasn't the bed of roses we expected.  We both felt kind of let down at times and very much regretted getting married a few times as well.  Looking back, those things were really minor and not terribly important.  We actually had kind of a tragic ending unrelated to this stuff, but we might have gotten divorced over these little things if we had stayed together.

I can't imagine trying to make a relationship work with someone who hasn't had this experience.  Leave that to the young guys, they heal faster.

[mies]

Insofar as the veiled disparagement directed toward Boethius,

I read the lines addressed to Boethius by Billy, and I read her response to them. My personal reaction to his posts was exactly the same as expressed by Boethius, I agree with everything she said, her choice of words, and style of message.
It is interesting how different people can read and understand the same message so differently.

[Admin]

I read the lines addressed to Boethius by Billy, and I read her response to them. My personal reaction to his posts was exactly the same as expressed by Boethius, I agree with everything she said, her choice of words, and style of message.
It is interesting how different people can read and understand the same message so differently.

mies,

Just to be clear, the disparagement I was referencing was NOT coming from Billy - it was from SteveOR yesterday.

- Dan

[mies]

Fortunately, I believe that the happiest and best years of your life can be at any stage of your life...

Misha, you the argument you are making, looks like you are supporting the point made by Ranetka.

Ranetka: The girl has beautiful and precious years of her youth, that she is about to waste on Billy.
Misha: She can still be happy after she turns 30, and divorces Billy takes control over her life. No need to hurry, just wait 10 years.